Bitchin' Blog Posts
Sarah: Fallen from Grace? More like, Fallen from a great height and is now a member of the walking dead. Perhaps a basic anatomy drawing course might be in order for that artist. Yeesh. And is it me, or is his head an entirely different color than his undead body?
Candy: I can just imagine the conversation pitching this cover: “So I’ll smoke a bunch of crack, see? And then I’ll, like, watch Fight Club over and over until my eyeballs explode, see? Then I’ll, like, sketch Brad Pitt from memory, only to make it less obvious that I’m painting Brad Pitt I’ll make him look like a zombie, see? Then I’ll smoke some MORE crack, and finish the painting. What do you say?”
Sarah: “Look what my next-door neighbor’s son drew in 7th grade art! Isn’t it perfect for our next book cover?!”
One should wonder about the kid next door’s interest in cross-eyed, no-necked Dark Lords sporting absolutely monstrous man-boobies. I imagine this Dark Lord has a voice like Eric Cartman and is screaming at the reader not to laugh at him, or he will throw his light-up purple fart at you.
Candy: I am so incredibly creeped-out by this cover because the character’s face looks eerily childish but his body is way, way overdeveloped, kinda like one of those child bodybuilders (e.g. Richard Sandrak). Was the artist a member of NAMBLA?
The uneven brush strokes also make the muscles appear lumpy and stringy. Brrrrr.
Sarah: Tall Dark and Diaphanous. Just how I like my heroes. With no real substance to them. Also, I like it when their cowboy hats look like fedoras with penises growing out the side. Whoo! Sexy!
Candy: You know you’re having a bad day when you can’t even draw a fucking silhouette right.
Goddamn. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT HAT?