Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Futurama references for the win, Candy, for the win.

ya know that advisory in the front of a lot of books?

” if you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher and neither the author or the publisher has recieved any payment for this stripped book”

some books need a warning WITH the cover.

“If you purchased this book with a cover, you should be aware this cover may have appeared on another book. The other book is the one you thought you were buying but too bad as neither the publisher or the author will refund your money ie: you’re fucked”

mmmm.  And I thought that each book got an original selection of stock photography (hence the long blond hair on Julie Cohen’s American cover.  They were out of short haired city blonds that day.)  But to re-use.  It’s worse than bad re-gifting; but super-economical, I’m sure.

The middle ones were obviously using public domain photos of some kind - unless the publisher has their own library of photos they’ve paid for that they can just use at will. What gets me is that first cartoony one. Do those books have a little credit to the cover artist inside? How do they reuse that drawing and not notice? That’s so much more obvious than a fuzzy softcore photo, to me.

*snickers*

Seasonal Wind.

heh-heh

And then there are these two:

http://www.womenofmystery.net/2007/07/covers.html

Hate to say it, but SCS (Shared Cover Syndrome) happens all too frequently. And then there are the obvious same-art-but-let’s-dress-it-a-little-differently covers. Got to love stock art…

spam: quality12 (I guess that quality covers get repackaged 12 times…)

“Seasonal Wind”. Isn’t that what happens after you stuff yourself like a hog at the Thanksgiving and/or Christmas table? (Or any other holiday that involves the people at the entire table morphing into the stuffed pig with the apple in its mouth…) You eat yourself sick and then suffer from “seasonal wind” the next day and a half…

Spamword: Looked 84. I look much younger than that, thank you!

Re: Seasonal Wind - at least it’s not showing the guy from behind.

Seasonal Wind: because somebody’s ma always makes something with cabbage in it.

That’s sad. I have the York book in my TBR pile. As for the chick with the lingerie size:gnat… That’s just… ermmm…. Her eyes are freaky… weird freaky.

Savage is to Cassie Edwards what
Wind is to Charlotte Boyett-Compo.

WINDFALL
WINDCHANCE
PRINCE OF THE WIND
WINDKEEPER
WINDSEEKER
WINDWEEPER
WINDHEALER
WINDREAPER
WINDDREAMER
WINDBELIEVER
WINDDECEIVER
WINDRETRIEVER
WINDSLEEPER
NIGHTWIND
SHADOWWIND
IN THE TEETH OF THE WIND
IN THE HEART OF THE WIND
IN THE ARMS OF THE WIND
PRISONERS OF THE WIND
PHANTOM OF THE WIND
EMBRACE THE WIND
WESTERN WIND
WINDVERSE
BLACKWIND
WINDWITCH
WINDTORN
HARDWIND
TROPICAL WIND
SEASONAL WINDS
TAKEN BY THE WIND
IN THE WIND’S EYE
SHADES OF THE WIND
JOURNEY OF THE WIND
GHOST WIND
WINDBORN
DANCING ON THE WIND
WINDSPECTER
TAILWIND

That cartoon drawing is so disgraceful that I can’t imagine how anyone with half a brain could wish to use it once, let alone twice.  What the hell has happened to people’s aesthetic judgement these days?

It doesn’t end there:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lover-Awakened-Black-Dagger-Brotherhood/dp/0749938234/ref=pd_bbs_sr_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1194536313&sr=8-4

In the Teeth of the Wind? Seriously?!? I just don’t want to know how that title relates to the book.

Mr. Wind appears to be taking Zithromax: the side effects include flatulence, jaundice, and bloating. No word on whether dressing like a member of the Village People while staring down at your kazonga is a side effect as well.

Ok, cartoon Cruella there is an image used for promo for Passion Parties (which is sort of like tupperware or avon… only with sex toys instead of kitchen stuff or makeup.)  Seriously, that exact image was on one of their catalogs not too long ago, and it’s the animation style they always use.

spamblocker: personal32.  No, I don’t own 32 personal toys yet.

Good Grief!!  I can sort on in a way see why books might have the same covers if they use models - I mean they have to pay them right?  But to use the same cartoon cover is just Way Cheap.  And it’s an ugly cover to boot!  I wouldn’t buy either one of them!!

WINDDREAMER

I read the above title wrong—I saw one D instead of two.

You know what else is wrong with that cartoon cover? She has no breasts.

Anatomy: You’re doing it wrong.

re the boobs cover

OMG! That exact same picture was used for a lubricant gel advert I saw in a Canadian health food magazine a while back.

And IMO the chick looks like Paige Davis, from Trading Spaces. Just saying ...

Confirm word: fire59 Hot! HOT!!1!

— Bonz

I once saw the same piece of cover art used for both a cheerful children’s book and a steamy retelling of the Arabian Nights. The children’s book had what was presumably the whole piece—a woman in a long dress, surrounded by a pack of dogs—while the Arabian Nights one had just a closeup of her crotcheral region. I recognized the belt from the cover right away, read the back of the book, and raised my eyebrows.

feet91—91 different books with the same picture of a pair of feet on them? No thanks…

I am new to posting here…have been lurking for a month or two, and first, ladies, thanks for the laughs!  Second, I don’t know if you’ve touched on Longmire’s totally hilarious remakes of covers, but here is a link if you’d like to!

http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/

“He’s thinking: Boobs. BOOBS. HOLY SHIT BOOBS.”

See, with the placement of that line, I initially thought it applied to the drooping manbosoms of Seasonal Wind.  It looks like his pec implants are leaking into his upper abdomen, leaving the harsh effects of gravity in their wake.

Either that or someone went a little overboard with Photoshop’s contrast enhancement tool.

All joking aside (pffff, yeah), I wonder if readers who notice these things assume that a derivative cover is indicative of a derivative story.  (Don’t think I’m implying that people often make stupid, baseless assumptions.  I am in fact implying that; I just don’t want you to think I am.)

WINDREAMER, WINDREAMER
Toot up my chute
blow after blow
It’s such a hoot

You missed the best one!  (Although neither is (Adult) Romance, so I suppose that makes it understandable):

Stephanie Meyer’s YA supernatural romance Twilight

and a reissue of C.S. Lewis’ Words to Live By

I’m guessing they figured that no one would notice or care since the basic idea is it’s an already very old (and Meyer is borrowing it from Christianity to begin with), but the second book is so obviously a copy (the first cover got lots of praise) that we still snickered over it at the BN I worked for.

A steamy retelling of the Arabian Nights? The originals are steamy enough, right from the start, with the Caliph’s wife and her attendants screwing the Nubian slaveboys in a massive orgy while hubby watches. Even Aladdin has plenty of nookie in the original.

True that, Trix, but somehow the adjective “steamy” there seemed necessary, just in case no one got the fact that, heck, these are the Arabian Nights…

Or chalk it up to posting while on cough meds. Your choice.

>>I wonder if readers who notice these things assume that a derivative cover is indicative of a derivative story. <<

Yeah, I wondered about that too.  Especially ticked me off since that awful cover has my novella that won the RITA in it.  Sigh.
Alesia, who has many examples of NO when readers ask me if I get to choose my covers

What the hell has happened to people’s aesthetic judgement these days?

Paris Hilton is considered hot.  Nuff said.

Underwear as weapons.  While she’s wingin’ that underwear around, am I the only one that wondered if it’s clean underwear?...that dirty brownish…yuck.

Seasonal Wind…pass Candy & Sarah the oxygen.

WINDREAMER, WINDREAMER
Toot up my chute
blow after blow
It’s such a hoot

LMFAO.

Speaking of Arabian Nights, does anyone else think the cartoon chick looks like Jaffar from Disney’s Alladin?

Oh God, I think this last cover wins for worst title. It should have been “Ill Wind” cause that’s what I’m about to be.

BTW he’s looking at his crotch like he can’t figure out how his pants came undone. I guess the belt couldn’t stand the pressure of the “wind”.

For some reason while I was scanning through the “wind” list, my mind somehow combined like three titles into “wind beaver”, which prompted a fit of chuckles and a strange look from my husband.

Oh yeah, and Seasonal Wind guy might be looking down in shame thinking *OMG I have awful gas, maybe I can blame it on the farm animals*

Is it still called a Camel Toe if it’s on a cowboy?  Would it be more appropriate to call it a Horse Toe?  Cow Toe?

There are probably hundreds of Mills & Boon Historicals with the same covers as different Harlequin Historicals.

It’s probably changed by now, but when I worked there a few years ago one of my jobs was to find the artwork for the new releases each month by poring through covers of books published in North America. I always ran out of red-haired heroines though - they were written about more often in the UK than in the US.

Red Alert: Seasonal Wind may cause Death by Ploot-Ploot!