Bitchin' Blog Posts
Urban Fantasy Hits You At the Belt
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | June 30, 2010 | Wednesday at 10:46 am | 70 CommentsAlert reader Robin N. sent me the following collection of images, asking, “I know you talk about the butt side vs the front side on covers, and the dismembered corpse. What I want to know is, what is it with this belt? Why do I see this belt on practically every UF book?”
Belt? There’s an urban fantasy belt? Oh yes, yes there is.
WHOA. What is up with that? Robin asks the same thing: “Does it have super-uber magic powers this belt? Does it automatically scream “I am baddass, I can wear silver studs around my womanly/manly waist without looking like a refugee from 80s disco?”
No idea, but have you noticed the belt? Have you seen it elsewhere? How many are there - are the cover models sharing it? Is it being distributed across the urban fantasy genre peaceably or is there a sparkly belt treaty in play? This is amazing. World peace via silver studded belt.
Have you found Ye UF Belt? Share a link or pic in the comments - and if you OWN the belt, please, tell us of its magical properties!
Filed: Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition), General Bitching
Tagged: wtfery, urban fantasy, models, make the burning stop, fantasy, cover comparison
John said on 06.30.10 at 12:49 PM • [link]
Hot Topic co-sponsorship of all those photo shoots?
Focus group analysis says that primary readership owns at least one of those silver-stud belts?
Tina C. said on 06.30.10 at 12:52 PM • [link]
So, both of my sons are in the Navy and, at this very moment, both of them are home, visiting. The reason I mention this is because my eldest, who has this sort of skateboarder/slightly punkish/slightly emo style going when he’s not in uniform, has that belt (minus the cheesy wallet chain the dude on the last cover is sporting)! My son’s belt is black and white studs instead of silver, but otherwise, it looks the same. Wow—I never knew that he had and/or fought supernatural powers!
ocelott said on 06.30.10 at 01:06 PM • [link]
I could be mistaken, but I think those covers were all painted by the same artist. Which means I’ll bet we could find more instances of the belt if we looked for ‘em in his gallery…
Edit: I am not mistaken!
Shiloh Walker said on 06.30.10 at 01:21 PM • [link]
Oh, hey… I have a studded belt. I haven’t noticed any special, sparkly UF powers though. It just holds my britches up.
Although sometimes, holding britches up does seem to be a dying thing.
Cara McKenna / Meg Maguire said on 06.30.10 at 02:12 PM • [link]
The belt’s just fashion shorthard for bad-assfulness, the lite version of strapping a couple ammunition belts around your trunk à la Rambo. Plus, spikes and studs and metal hovering just above crotch-level? “What I got sin mah pants? It be’s a pitbull! Watch yo’self!” I’d guess it’s the UF equivalent of the historical cover with the hero hefting his manful sword-wang.
Ben P said on 06.30.10 at 02:21 PM • [link]
My wife has one of these belts sparkly studded belts. It is, however, throughly trumped by her belt with the very piraty skull-and-crossbones buckle.
Both of them seem tô lend her superpowers involving Extrasensory-Windowshopping, Inhuman Endurance when Shopping and perhaps the most frightening power of all: Discover All Fashion Articles With Leopard Pattern…
Of course, this could all have nothing to do with the belts and eveything to do with her genetic superiority concerning all things shopping.
What’s with cover girl’s whole lordosis/sway-back gangly-looking-over-my-shoulder-not-very-seductively thing anway? Is she tryin’ to out-funnny-pose the Masters of Mantitty?
Bring back Fabio.
closetcrafter said on 06.30.10 at 02:34 PM • [link]
We currently own 2 versions of this belt. I have it as a skinny 1 row of studs, unfortunately, not possessing all the powers of Ben P’s Wife’s belt, maybe due to only 1 row of studs.
My 12 yr old daughter has the Hot Topic black and purple version. It gives her massive alt rock fan powers allowing her to memorize lyrics after a single listen and drool over anemic post pubescent androgynous males. It’s awesome!
She would be on the cover minus the gun, plus an Ipod Touch.
SB Sarah said on 06.30.10 at 02:44 PM • [link]
@closetcrafter you made me LOL like AOL.
@Ben P - does leopard pattern enhance the powers of the Belt? Does the subtle pattern combination of squares and natural circles combine to create a force field of unparalleled endurance? Perhaps you ought to test that out at the Mall of America: every store, every level, 24 hours tops.
KMont said on 06.30.10 at 02:46 PM • [link]
Ocelott, that’s what immediately came to mind, Chris McGrath illustrations. Seems that’s his standard belt lol. And really, that might be the most practical accessory in an UF character’s arsenal. Can’t have those pants flapping down to the knees during a fight. Is the first one his work, though? Sort of looks like McGrath’s but a little different, too. Eh.
Still, SB Sarah, you’re not off at all to say this could be THE UF belt. McGrath seems to do most UF covers these days. ;)
Pam said on 06.30.10 at 02:50 PM • [link]
@Cara
Shorthard? Does that make the ammo belts longhard???
Mireya said on 06.30.10 at 03:00 PM • [link]
Option 1: Accesorizing is important when killing vamps/shifters/fae/zombies. There is no reason or excuse not to do it in style.
Option 2: The artist was given that belt and figures he/she might as well put it to use before tossing it to the trash.
Option 3: The artist thinks belts make the character look tough.
Option 4: The artist wants to distract attention from the fact that the model in the cover looks nothing like the character that he/she is supposed to depict.
Maybe it is a status symbol? No? I dunno…
Ashley said on 06.30.10 at 03:01 PM • [link]
Anybody see last season Project Runway? There was this wide black belt with studs and two buckles, and every time it was used to accessorize a look, the look won. Hmmm. . .
spamword: every32 Every 32 yr old should have one of these.
Trippinoutmysoul said on 06.30.10 at 03:23 PM • [link]
I have this belt! I’ve been wearing it for…8 years? Which sounds bad, but I got it when I was 15. As a teenager it held up my over-size boy shorts and lent me a self-imagined aura of bad assedness. As a mother and military wife, it is shiny metallic evidence that I’m still me, Heather, and not just Mommy and The Sergeants Wife.
done28- I MAY be done with the UF belt in 28 years. Maybe.
Grrrly said on 06.30.10 at 04:00 PM • [link]
I have the magic sparkly UF belt, and cuffs to match, in single and triple layers. Which brings up the point, has anyone ever seen these in a double row?the triple seems most common, with the single row less common (and therefor coveted), but I’ve never seen them in two.
Mine have the magical sparkly UF belt power of holding up my wide-legged tweed tuxedo pants at just the right height that the cuffs don’t catch on my chunky-heeled Mary Jane pumps, and keeping the trousers at the perfect low-slung angle on my hips. And making my mid-level management corporate self sneaking in these little bits of a pyramid stud here, a handcuff and skulls bracelet there, feel not quite so drone-y.
Spamword: them39, as in them things are going to keep sneaking into my wardrobe long past the age of 39, if I have anything to say about it.
Christina said on 06.30.10 at 04:08 PM • [link]
Hey, my ex-boyfriend had that belt in 2005! He was a semi-goth vampire LARPer who loved Buffy & Angel. He was also an asshole. He wore that belt constantly, including with work clothes, in case you didn’t see that he was secretly bad ass. (He wasn’t)
Captcha is idea87 - it was a bad idea times 87 to date this guy for 4 months?
Jody W. said on 06.30.10 at 04:39 PM • [link]
I do not own such a belt, nor does anyone in this particular household. I would guess the belts give the wearers the magical power of not being able to get through security gates without removing several articles of clothing, inspiring some sort of innuendo-laden frisking/undressing scene. Either that or the belts put them immediately on no-fly lists for being skeery and dangerous. Beltal profiling at its finest.
Deb Kinnard said on 06.30.10 at 04:40 PM • [link]
We’ve all got it wrong. The belt is the “I’m young enough still to have a waist!” announcement. More power to ‘em. Mine went out with love beads and army surplus jackets with peace patches sewn on.
A second theory is that this belt is like Christmas fruitcake. There is just the one fruitcake, and it’s been passed on for so long, through so many hands, it’s petrified. As fruitcake, so belt.
jennifer armintrout said on 06.30.10 at 05:31 PM • [link]
OMG. I have that belt.
BRB, kicking-ass and taking names.
meoskop said on 06.30.10 at 05:47 PM • [link]
In that last one it looks like she’s preparing to fight her way back to belt ownership. He’s obviously stolen it from her.
I think the belt must have magical powers - I recall Green Day members wearing one and their pop punk act is opening a show on Broadway. This is as good an explanation as any!
lustyreader said on 06.30.10 at 05:50 PM • [link]
no wonder Hot Topic is still in business, i ALSO bought my studded belt from there…in the 90s. but my mom wouldn’t let me wear it to school, god mom you ruin EVERYTHING! i could have had superpowers at school! not to help pass my classes mind you, my dorky bookwormness was in full affect, but to maybe kick that girls’ ass who threw a banana at me in the caf?
however, i *was* allowed to wear on the weekends when i had my tamagotchi keychain looped onto it all day. mine DID live longer than my friends…possible sekrit fountain of youth sooper power for digital japanese animals?
Angela/Lazaraspaste said on 06.30.10 at 05:51 PM • [link]
Oh man! John totally beat me to the joke! Damn!
Should have gotten here sooner.
But seriously, that belt is like the sign of Goth and emo culture.
When I was a teen back in the luddite 90’s, we had to make that crap ourselves with a Bedazzler. Tch! These kids today are so spoiled with their easily accessible sub-culture accessories.
Lazaraspaste
Perry said on 06.30.10 at 06:06 PM • [link]
How timely, I am planning an urban fantasy for my NaNo book this year. I must remember to engage the belt.
AgTigress said on 06.30.10 at 06:26 PM • [link]
I had a studded leather belt in the early 1970s.
Tamara Hogan said on 06.30.10 at 07:01 PM • [link]
My belt was of the 80’s vintage.
They keep ...coming back. Reanimating. Like zombies and vampires, the urban fantasy belt CANNOT BE VANQUISHED.
P.N. Elrod said on 06.30.10 at 07:04 PM • [link]
They found it in the Blake’s 7 costume trailer.
It belonged to Avon. Here’s Paul Darrow trying to keep a straight face in his fashion forward space pirate outfit.
http://www.tarrantnostra.com/b7lib/images/dwavon.jpg
John said on 06.30.10 at 07:41 PM • [link]
I’m not the only John here…strange.
Anyway, I’ve seen that belt. I think my older brother used to own it. And about half of the Hot Topic shoppers I know.
While we are examining the use of this amazing belt, because clearly it has supernatural powers, we should also examine how the belt makes any of the closest females look like they wanna hump the nearest stick-like object. And when the guy is near it, he is often looking away. I get the feeling the belt makes anyone in the vicinity horny towards the nearest male. Just my professional observations there.
Public22: Even when I’m 22, I will not be wearing that thing in public.
Cathy said on 06.30.10 at 08:25 PM • [link]
So… how long until someone writes a meta paranormal/UF book about this long-lost belt that was unearthed by treasure hunters and gets passed around amongst a secret underground of crime-fighting teenagers?
P.N. Elrod said on 06.30.10 at 09:32 PM • [link]
Too late Cathy!
Nicolas Cage has started shooting “National Treasure 3: The Booty-Belt o’ Dooooom.”
Kate Pearce said on 06.30.10 at 10:13 PM • [link]
All 3 of my sons ranging in age from 17 to 21 have that belt.
Has anyone also noticed that all 4 women in the Pocket books ad in RT for Urban Fantasy have a dark sleeveless tank top on? Why is that? Do they not feel the cold??
Ellen Brand said on 06.30.10 at 10:15 PM • [link]
Ben P, that’s what Linkara of “Atop the 4th Wall” calls “Why Won’t My Hips Unsway?” It’s insanely common in comics, and it drives him and many, many viewers nuts. You should check him out, if you like comics. He’s hilarious.
Randi said on 06.30.10 at 10:17 PM • [link]
OMG, you guys crack me up.
For what it’s worth, I totally adore McGrath’s covers. I will actually buy a book because he did the cover. So far, it’s worked for me.
music69: I think you all get the joke.
P.N. Elrod said on 06.30.10 at 10:20 PM • [link]
OMG—my next collection has a McGrath cover—AND THE BELT!!
ROTF!!!
Randi—I hope you enjoy the stories! Bwah!
http://www.vampwriter.com/WHATS NEW!.htm
Pam said on 06.30.10 at 10:34 PM • [link]
I mostly see that belt on teen boys in the high school library where I work. They generally wear it to define the bottom of their butt cheeks. I think that Tamara’s got something about the undead nature of said belt, because as I watch the “bad ass” boys pounding away at our computers while sitting upon the UF belt, I swear I hear a subliminal whisper of “Brains, braaaiiinnnns….” That would explain my need to reach for the lysol, too.
Randi said on 06.30.10 at 10:45 PM • [link]
@PN Elrod:
I have some of your older stuff but nothing recent. Guess that’ll change. LOL. oooo, your lineup looks sweet. Dark and Stormy Nights…here I come!!
however65: I’m sure we could come up with 65 reasons to NOT wear Ye UF Belt.
Bibliophile said on 06.30.10 at 11:13 PM • [link]
Belt of Power User Instructions:
Use to draw attention to skinny waist, catch the light in interesting ways and channel Michael Jackson, Cher and Gene Simmons. If the Power fails, it can always be whipped off and used as a weapon.
(I have been hit with the cuff version and trust me: considering the pain from one cuff, the belt could take down a reasonably determined werewolf).
Spamword: spirit52.
Amanda Downum said on 06.30.10 at 11:26 PM • [link]
I’m wearing my pyramid stud belt right this very moment, because it keeps my jeans up. This one I bought at Target, to replace the one I bought at Hot Topic ten years ago, which in turn replaced the grommet belt I had in the 90s that I wore out. Besides holding my pants up, it contains the power to dance past 2 AM and still go to work the next morning. (The wrist cuffs I lost in a move and haven’t replaced, because I’m a lazy rivethead.)
Wendy said on 07.01.10 at 12:29 AM • [link]
Ah ha ha ha! As much fun as the posts here are, the comments are damn good, too.
Spamword: lost27. I lost interest in belts like that when I was 27. :D
Cora said on 07.01.10 at 12:35 AM • [link]
I had a belt very much like that as a teenager in the late 1980s. I may still have it somewhere - it was expensive for the time and so I certainly wouldn’t have thrown it away.
I also have all four books pictured (reading number 4 right now - highly recommended) plus at least two or three more which also feature the belt. They all have Chris McGrath covers, so I suspect that the belt is one of his trademarks. There also are a couple of other clothing items and props that keep showing up in Chris McGrath covers as well as the same 4 or 5 models. I adore McGrath’s work, he is currently my favourite cover artist.
robinjn said on 07.01.10 at 12:56 AM • [link]
Squee! My note actually made a post! I told Sarah, I have decided to call the belt the Patented Belt of Badassedness. It could be PBB for short.
I also showed Sarah my collection of 80s belts. Which, alas, did not contain the PBB but did contain numerous lovely entries including the silver weave. However, I trumped Sarah’s 80s style; she only had double-curled bangs. I had a PERMED MULLET to go with my mini-skirts, white hose, black heels and leg warmers.
aliza mann said on 07.01.10 at 01:25 AM • [link]
May I please direct your attention to the advertisement at the top right of this page for a book called Web of Lies. Behold the UF belt!
Suze said on 07.01.10 at 02:37 AM • [link]
Yes. Yes, it does.
Also, it provides a thing to attach your holster/sheath to, apparently.
And do you know what’s even awesomer? In the right light, it SPARKLES.
Kalen Hughes said on 07.01.10 at 04:02 AM • [link]
My little sister wears this belt . . . but then she’s the goth/punk queen of Berkeley, and should BE the star of her own paranormal series, LOL!
Patty H. said on 07.01.10 at 04:21 AM • [link]
Sarah Jessica Parker had a UF belt in the first Sex In the City movie. Out of all the costume changes, the belt appeared the most. I think she kept the belt when the movie wrapped. Obviously, she recognized its soopa powas just like Ben P’s wife did.
Note to self: buy UF belt on next shopping trip.
EbonyMcKenna said on 07.01.10 at 05:03 AM • [link]
The UF belt - the must have accessory this season.
Loving this.
Liz said on 07.01.10 at 05:59 AM • [link]
a similar belt came with a pair of jeans that i bought at Target about 6 years ago. If only i knew it had superpowers, i wouldn’t have gotten rid of it. (sorry, but i was not emo/punk/bad-ass enough for that belt.)
Liz said on 07.01.10 at 06:02 AM • [link]
sorry for the double post.
@aliza mann, if you click the link, it will take you to a UF webpage where 3 covers are shown. All 3 have the belt.
Jessica M.D. said on 07.01.10 at 08:10 AM • [link]
I too own this belt and yes, they get pissy with you when you wear it while trying to get through airport security. . .
Jenyfer Matthews said on 07.01.10 at 08:47 AM • [link]
LOL - The belt, like THE Ring, must have magical powers because I have been looking for one for years now and while I have found single row, cheap imitations, I have never yet found it in its finest form - double or triple row in genuine leather with enough metal studs (or grommets) to prevent me from flying commercial airlines.
I briefly questioned my obsession with the shiny studs when I saw my 14 year old semi-emo niece wearing one, but have bounced back since then. (She kept a close eye on hers after it became clear that I coveted it so) Now that I know it’s not only shiny but will also give me superpowers I am more determined than ever to find one.
Good thing I will be visiting the Mall of America this summer. The odds of finally realizing my quest have gone up considerably!
ev said on 07.01.10 at 12:17 PM • [link]
Hot Topic. I think my daughter owns one. It’s part of their Goth stuff.
Cara McKenna / Meg Maguire said on 07.01.10 at 01:18 PM • [link]
@Pam
Oh noes, Shorthard! The least impressive pirate and/or Highlander ever.
Maria D. said on 07.01.10 at 01:55 PM • [link]
I really think that author’s need to get together and ban the
supernatural belt!
Seriously I am discouraged by the lack of originality that is going on with UF covers overall lately…...
Kalen Hughes said on 07.01.10 at 02:07 PM • [link]
You’re not looking in the right kind of shops . . . you need serious leather shops (aka S&M/bondage). Hot Topic is only going to give you a faux version (as they do of everything else; the South Park Goth kids and I are as one with the HT loathing).
Kalen Hughes said on 07.01.10 at 02:11 PM • [link]
Or you can try ordering it from Studs and Spikes. They have a large collection of them.
Tamara Hogan said on 07.01.10 at 02:24 PM • [link]
Hell, she probably rocked one in “Square Pegs” - or in her epic dance contest opus, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” I tell you, the thing is THAT OLD. Given I wore one over a quarter century ago (eep), when I see the UF belt, I unfortunately think “midlife crisis.”
SB Sarah said on 07.01.10 at 03:12 PM • [link]
Why do I have a sudden urge to locate the nearest Hot Topic and find my own UF Belt?
Aislinn said on 07.01.10 at 03:16 PM • [link]
My now sixteen-year-old used to wear this belt regularly maybe two or three years ago. But she’s evolved out of her goth phase.
Mama Nice said on 07.01.10 at 03:54 PM • [link]
If I ever need to hire a vampire slayer, now I know where to go! Forget the yellow pages, I’ll just hang out at HT in the accessory section…
These covers held my attention for other reasons:
Book 1 - Does anyone else think the heroine’s gun looks like she stole it from her Grandpa’s vintage Lone Ranger dress up set?
Book 2 - Sorry, I can’t get beyond the fact that the chick looks like a walking Midol ad.
Book 3 - I never saw the episode where London wears Hannah’s wig!?!
Book 4: If the hair, the tats, and the shadowbeard don’t say tool academy…then the belt and cuffs most certainly do. and can someone explain that extra chain thing to me? I’m sure it serves some purpose for .02% of the people who wear it…
robinjn said on 07.01.10 at 04:01 PM • [link]
@Mama Nice, I live in Missouri. I see “Wallet Onna Chain” all the freaking time. Mostly sported by greasy, dirty guys who are either a) stupid or b) drunk/high/whatever. I figure it’s to keep the wallet from trying to flee the fumes and filth.
Kelly L. said on 07.01.10 at 05:15 PM • [link]
Well, the obvious answer to me is, those silver studs protect you from ravishment by werewolves.
The problem with the theory, of course, is that in these books the heroines usually want to boink werewolves. Maybe they wear the belt when they’d rather do the vampire that night.
Kathleen said on 07.01.10 at 08:45 PM • [link]
This thread is cracking me UP! You guys are all hysterical. I have to leave the keyboard to go get my tissues. Tears of laughter rolling down onto sensitive electronic equipment are not a good mix. And all six chapters of the EF novel I’m working on are stored on it. I didn’t back up onto external drive after yesterday’s work yet.
Tamara Hogan said on 07.01.10 at 10:50 PM • [link]
I’ve determined that the time-traveling UF Belt of Destiny DOES make a showing in the Sarah Jessica Parker movie “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” (1985) - but - BUT! - it’s her male dance partner who’s wearing it!
The belt makes its first appearance at 00:24 of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TASGl0_jnjU .
THE HUMANITY.
Jennifer Estep said on 07.02.10 at 01:45 AM • [link]
@aliza: Yep, I am another author who has fallen victim to the UF belt. If you go to Amazon and click on my Elemental Assassin book covers—http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?url=search-alias=aps&field;-keywords=jennifer+estep&x=0&y=0—you’ll see that my heroine has a belt on in all of them ... something I never really noticed until I saw this post. LOL.
Maybe the mystical UF belt is like Wonder Woman’s belt and gives all the UF characters super-strength? I think it all started with WW ...
Jenyfer Matthews said on 07.02.10 at 09:15 AM • [link]
@Kalen - thanks for the link. I may have to order one of these belts just to see what “microfiber vegan leather” is!
Pam said on 07.02.10 at 03:49 PM • [link]
@Cara
Not to worry—Join us for our nest episode in which Shorthard is defeated by Fafhard and the Gay Mousser.
Spamword: size89 Am not!
Dusk Carter said on 07.04.10 at 12:50 AM • [link]
Im 14, not a goth, emo (hang me now), or punk kid but i love that belt… or ok i love how it looks when i set it on fire because as has been proved above it seems to be some sort of symbol or goth/emo/punk culture for those who want to fit into some sort of steriotype and look like total idiots (pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin like a fool with ya pants on the ground) to the point where a otherwise awsome accessery has been put down to the level of being a steriotype in and of itself BECAUSE of how it has been used by said steriotypes… it makes me want to scream.
sorry needed to rant a bit. hehe.
My mom owns this belt though and it seems to give her the power to know when i stay up late reading and ground me the next day because of it….
kytten said on 07.09.10 at 02:23 PM • [link]
I owned that exact belt at 15 when I also wore velvet bondage trousers.
Now I look a lot more ‘eccentric in mourning’ it doesn’t really have a place in my heart any more.
C said on 07.24.10 at 08:39 AM • [link]
To my shame, I think the belt looks awesome. Many thanks to the commenter above who provided links (part of the appeal isn’t the stated ‘also it really really hurts’ reaction to being hit by someone wearing a cuff of the same style at all…).
—By which I mean, er, the belt is terrible! Burn it! Yes! I do not like it at all! Honest! *twitch*
capcha: mother93. Between my mother and my father I’d be teased 93 ways to next week if I expressed so much as a vague interest in this style of belt.
C said on 07.24.10 at 08:42 AM • [link]
Also, something I didn’t think of until after I’d clicked post—the artist who apparently (according to people or persons upthread) did all of these covers is also responsible for all of the Dresden Files. So he is capable of doing things (epic urban fantasy things, even) sans belt!
/vaguely on-topic but mostly off of it
Susan said on 07.31.10 at 05:07 AM • [link]
Now I want a belt with a skull & crossbones buckle. I can just imagine the comments at my conservative workplace…but it isn’t forbidden by the dress code.
Vixenbib said on 08.14.10 at 07:22 PM • [link]
My daughter (18 on Friday) owns this belt. She must be renting it out for fantasy cover shoots. I just noticed it’s back in her room.
Care to comment?
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