Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

It could only get better *if* someone does actually send a submission.

It would also be unbearably sad, but that would come after the laughter.

Damn. It’s already exceed its bandwidth limits, so I’ll have to be content with your excerpt.

Oh god. Security word, I kid you not, is justice84.

Aw, crap! And on a holiday weekend too?

OMG OMG OMFG I got onto the site. *tears running down face*

Okay, it’s bandwidth is exceeded - so they don’t even have enough for a $2.99 a month free site from yahoo.com? -shoot, yahoo’s ‘get your own domain’ geocities plan is under $10 :/

{haha} my bot-word is evidence84

Bummer.  The site won’t load for me.  :(

at first i couldnt get on, but i tried again right away…and woo boy, maybe i shouldnt have tried so hard…when i have to re-read a line 3 times over, its gotta be bad…c’mon, that has to be a joke site or something cause that is just so juvenile…horrible, horrible

what a piece of shit..and just bad enough to piss me off

It can’t be professional ‘cos it has no music!

I think I’m in love with Mrs Giggles. That was very, very funny

Priceless.  Mrs. G is better—and cheaper—than therapy.

You know eventually be a submission, I just hope it is posted ;)  Hell, I might send one for my upcoming work ‘A Highlander and his Were-Pig: a gay, inspy, bondage romance’

“...WITHOUT INTERFRERING FROM GRAMAR NAZIS AND RUDE ENGLISH TEACHERS…”

I know where I’m sending my next manuscript!  Woo woo!

People are complaining about bandwidth and I’m sure it’ll get worse, so I’ll just excerpt the “About Us” page, although it’s necessarily removed from its multi-hued glory:

WE ARE PUBLISHERS WITH HEART. WE ARE NICE PPL. DO YOU KNOW THAT PUBLISHERS IN NEW YOK WILL ONLY PUBBLISH BOOKS BY PEOPLE THEY KNOW ALREADY? this iS WHY WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU.

AT TRISKY LOIN WE WILL PUBLISH ALL THE BOOKS THE WAY U WANT. WE DON’T BELIEVE IN EDITING YOUR BOOKS BCOS NOW EVEN MOVIES ARE RELEASED IN DIRECKTOR’SCUT VERSIONS SO ALL YOUR BOOKS WITH US ARE AUTHORS’ CUT N THEREFORE MORE VALUBLE. READERS WILL READ STORIES FROM UR HEART THE WAY U WANT THE STORY TO BE LIKE WITHOUT INTERFRERING FROM GRAMAR NAZIS AND RUDE ENGLISH TEACHERS. ,P>OUR BOSS IS MRS KRISTI THERESA. SHE LIKES TO GO TO CHURCH AND PLAY WITH HER GRANDCHILDREN. SHE HAS LOTS OF EXPERIENCING IN THE BUSINESS BCOS HER GRANDSON SET UP THIS WEBSITE ON HIS SUNMER SCHOOL VACATION AND MRS KRISTI WILL NOT HESITATE 2 CONTACT LITTLE SAMMY JO IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG. SHE ALSO DOES HER CHURCH ACCOUNTING AND SHE IS A BIG LAURA K HAMILLTON FAN SO SHE KNOWS HER ENGLISH AND STUFF AND UR BOOKS WILL BE IN GOOD ARNMS. SAMMY JO’S SISTER LAURA JANE HELP WITH THE COVER DESIGN SHE IS A GENOIUS FOR AN 8 YEAR OLD. SEE THE COVERS HERE 4 EXAMPLE.

HELPING HER IS CHIEF EDITORIAL MISS PATRICIA MICKELL WHO HAS SPENT SIXTEEN YEARS READING JOHANNA LINDSEY AND KATHLEEN E WOODISWIISS BOOKS SO SHE KNOWS HOW TO MARKET UR BOOKS RITE.

PLEASE BE A PART OF THE TRISKIE LION FAMILY TODAY

Err, is it bad that I’d actually read a book with a vamipire CIA agent?

And when I say “excerpt”, I mean “copy the whole damned page”.

“now accepting submissives”

No ones taking my subs, no one!!

Genius, pure genius.

I howled when I read this!  It’s one of the best parody sites I’ve seen in a long time.  :)

Ooh, ooh, ooh, new SB contest!  Submissives for Triskie (Triski?) Lion.  Come on, come on you guys, it’d be great.

After watching South Park, I had the greatest idea for a man-bear-pig novel. Now I know where to go with it.

Take me! Mememememe!

People are complaining about bandwidth and I’m sure it’ll get worse, so I’ll just excerpt the “About Us” page,

TRISKY LOINS!!

Iz ded now, thnx.

The ‘submissives’ would be worth the price of admission. Donate to the cause!

Bwahahahaha. This ppl very laughtering.

Ms. Giggles moved the site to one with more bandwidth - http://www.mrsgiggles.com/ebooks/tl/index.html

Damn…I knew I should have shopped around a little more before signing my latest contract… (slaps forehead)

Thanks, Jenyfer. I can know see the site in all its horrid glory, and am trying not to laugh because I’d only have to explain why to everyone else in the house…

All you meanies picking on my publisher are just JEALOUS of the close family-like friendships we’s got at Trisky Lion and you don’t understand how much they’ve supproted me and Kristi Theresa is a wonderful person who works relly hard for her awthurs and maybe she’s got some personal problems but I’m loyal and anyone who isn’t loyal is a HATING NAZI BITCH>

This site is all about TRASHY BITCHES!!1!  Haters!

ROTFLMAO, I clicked the “read an excerpt” thing for the gun-totin’ bad boys (or whatever it is) and got this page:

What are you doing?
The whole Trixy Lion Publishing thing is a parody of a terrible electronic publisher. Please don’t tell me you seriously considered buying from or submitting something to us!

Too bad she didn’t put up an excerpt—it could only have added to the deliciousness of the whole thing!

THEY STOLE MY VAMPIRE CIA AGENT PLOT!!! DAMMIT!!!

I’ll get them for stealing my plot!  And their little LOLcats too!

P.S.  Haven’t had caffeine or medication yet this morn…maybe it shows…nahhh.

I have a friend who immediately submitted to TL—though I tried to caution her. She reports:

Teh Trisky Loins famely is the best evah! They have boght my book and i only hadt o pay $50 4 the cover,Kristi T is my new bffand seh says ur just one of thos BIG JEALUS MEANINES!!!!. When my book cums out u will see how i m going to be a big best seller. i have to go becus her dauhgter is having her hissyrectme and i promise i would go feed there cat.

Signd: LaRoota Passion authur of UR Hert is for Rent and im the Landlord

Thanks to Mrs Giggles for moving the site: now I could join all of you in applying to submisions LOL
I do not know what is better, the website or the SBs comments?!

Gee, how nice, making fun of authors who are trapped in bankruptcy. I don’t see the humor in this. Sorry.

Should we also make fun of RWA for approving them? Readers for buying their books? EPIC for awarding EPPIES to some of their authors?

Sorry, but I believe in seeing the funny side of things. It’s sad if you can’t laugh at yourself. For me it’s the beginnig to rebuild whatever has been destroyed.

Sympathy for writers caught in these messes has been boundless across the internet. This blog and others have devoted columns to warning signs to help writers who are about to submit, or have done so.

This is PARODY—and shows just how schlocky some supposed e-publishers can be—and how even when it’s hideously obvious there will be those who submit anyway.

Err, is it bad that I’d actually read a book with a vamipire CIA agent?
Posted by Sandra D on 09/03 at 05:23 PM

I will go you one better.  I read a book about a Navaho vampire policeman.  The only saving grace is it wasn’t written by Cassie Edwards.

Mrs Giggles you are full of awesomeness.  I really wish you had added the music.

I was taken so entirely in. I even sent on the link to a couple of places, saying omigod!

Oh she’s a wicked, wicked devil. Thank goodness.

Nora, thanks.  Now, I can’t breathe.

Mrs. Giggles rocks.  Of course, most of us with a sense of humor (even about ourselves, she’s trashed my books before and I consider it a rite of passage…um, several times over?) appreciate her to no end.

This cheered up my morning.

Yikes!  PublishSHAMErica better watch their backs!

Awesome stuff, heavy on the “aw.”

Now I gotta take some pain killers.  I’ve been fighting off a headache and the background on that site tipped me into the red zone of agony.

Oooogh-ouchie-ow.

You mean I ca’nt by Big Macheen Gun boys?
Waaaaahh!

I scared my cat screaming with laughter. You bitches are not to be undersold!

Remember that Night Travels of an Elven Vampire book published by PA? It would find a much better home with Trisky. :-)

The only way this could be a better site is if there were dashound heads raining down from the sky.

Just what I needed this morning.

WER N UR BASE, RIPPIN UR WRITINGS

I want to see the SEE THE COVERS HERE 4 EXAMPLE, darn it!

Because that?  That would make it all even better!

Deb’s right.  We need to have examples of Trixy Loin covers here.

Anon at 5:31 lighten up.

Life will go on for both Trisk & MGP authors if they’re really serious about writing and being published.

And yes, I speak from experience. I only have one YA short project stuck in the MGP mess but boohooing won’t change the fact.  I took the chance and it fell through. Other books of mine have been and will be published in the future. .

So yeah I see the humor in this.

LaRoota Passion fansite complete with sexay book cover.

http://www.barbarasheridan.net/laroota.htm

My goodness, did you miss the hilarious link for “Submissives from Authors”?  Who knew she was accepting donations?

Heh. 

Please tell me this is a parody.

Finally!  A home for my M/M vampire Navy SEALS book that no one else seems to want.

Uh oh, no sample contract.  Do you think they’ll demand an option on all my submissives?

All right you guys, enough.  I just got in trouble with the nurses for laughing too much.  I read LaNora’s comment and couldn’t explain anemia of chronic disease without chortling.  Note to self, no SB’s at work, even on my so-called lunch hour.

geez, i come outta lurkdom to say my 2 cents and WHAMMO…jokes on me…i was completely fooled…i had no idea that site was a parody…third world yes, but not a parody ...lol…so anyways…shhhhhhhhh

....you didnt see anyyyyyything…shhhhhh

Yes, I hate that some authors have gotten caught in E-pub failures. However, you have to have a sense of humor. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

And I also see possible submission titles, covers and blubs for this “new and xcitin’ companee”

we will also protect u from mean ppl out there on blogs and message boards. if u let us know who is badmouthing u, we will gather ur friends and com eto ur rescue

So.  Much.  Love.  Also: wow, I needed that today. 

Except for the part where Nora made me cry.  With laughter.  OK, OK… especially for the part where Nora made me cry with laughter.

Barbara, Ms Passion must be disappointed with that cover. No man-titty? No hypertrophic Poser models with Undead eyes? But I think the jailbait is heading in the right direction.

I saw someone at Karen’s blog who was disappointed that it wasn’t a *real* e-pub opened by Ms. Giggles.

That would be pretty awesome…

Okay, I love Mrs. G! I’m sure that’s partly because she’s never reviewed me.  Her hunk area is one of my faves when I need cheering up and to feel there’s hope for a better world.  Plus, you know, funny!  Oh, yes, she is.

but…

Which is it?

Trisky Lion? Tricksy Loin? Trisky Loin?
Tricksy Lion? Trixi Lion?  Trixie Lion?

I’m confused, but in totally amused sort of way…and partial to Tricksy Loin.  It sounds so athletic.

This is me wetting myself in laughter!

WIN!!!!

we plan to use copyrighted pictures 4 our covers in the future bcos copyrighted pictures are signs of quality. amatoors are using free clip art which we dont want bcos we want to stand out. already we have used brad pitts face for our upcoming book “staining bedsheets wit my love” by clara s andersin and we have just discovere dplenty opf sexy photos in father abner’s pc so with god’s blessing we r going to make high quality covers

Rolling on the floor, laughing my effing ass off.

And here I’ve been wasting my money purchasing royalty-free/stock photos for the eBooks *my* ePublishing mini-company (cough - me - cough) makes. *smacks forehead* WTF was *I* thinking!

~ Krysia