Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

You’re fucking kidding me.  I was looking down the list, thinking, I can do this.  It HAS to be that one.  No, that one.  No, really, that one.  AARGH!!!

Okay, my guess:  Time of the Temptress.

Crap! Sarah, I was gonna guess Time of the Temptress, too! In fact, put me down for Time of the Temptress. All the others are just too bad NOT to be real.

Oh. My. Gosh! What a list.

My guess is on Silken Savagery.

Oh dear…

erm…

Okay, due to the fact that I got dizzy half way down the list, my guess is: Adam’s Rib.

Enter My Jungle?  No Way!
That gets my vote.

I was kinda shocked at the Satan titles - don’t know why, because there are lots of titles with Devil in them.  Maybe because there’s the word, devilish, which implies someone is up to high-jinks.  You scamp, you little rascal!  You’re so devilish!  But there’s no word like Satanish.  We don’t have Sataned eggs, or Sataned ham.  It’s just got more of an evil sound to it.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Enter My Jungle.

How about no?  Is no good for you?

Okay, I’ll Bite

Satans Master

That one sounds more like a Kentucky Derby horse than a novel.  The rest all sounded overwrought enough to my ears to be the real McCoy. 

God help me if this is a real title, though; I’ll be compelled to go find the damned thing and losing hours doing so tracking it down at some UBS.  And I usually hate Presents stories, too. 

Angela

I was thinking, surely It’s Satan’s Contract, they wouldn’t use Satan as a book name, they’re Presents!  Then I saw there are 2 Satan’s :(

Ok, so I’m going with Dearest Demon, using that same false logic.

Drat, foiled again! All of my guesses have been guessed. Anyway, I have to say Enter My Jungle. Because…it just can’t be.

Also, sorry to clutter this thread, but isn’t that the baby panda from the National Zoo? Anyway, he’s so cute that nothing could persuade me to cheat. Protect tha panda.

Bedding His Virgin Mistress

Just a WAG…

Sam

Ummm, my guess is Adam’s Rib…mostly because it just seems too innocent. 

BTW who exactly is Satan’s Master.  Is he known as SM to his friends?  Does SM spank Satan when he’s naughty or make him listen to fluffy harp music?  Is this like Satan/God slash?

I’m going with “Boss’ Virgin” just because it’s a dumb title, and not even in a funny way like some of the others.

And the sad part is, I’ve read a good ten of those….oh dear.

I’m going to go with Enter My Jungle as well. Because, I mean, really.

Wasn’t Satan’s Master the answer to last weeks ‘personals’ thing???

That was why I didn’t go that way…

Sam

I’m going with Brittle Bondage, because it makes me think of split ends, and I don’t think that’s what they’re going for. Jungle, yes. Split End Jungle, no.

Vicki

I’m going with Silken Savagery cuz well…it’s so stupid.  And more like some Norse historical title.

So hard to pick, not having read them, the titles are so lurid though maybe I’ll check them out!

I’m gonna go with ‘Enter My Jungle’ because damn.

sooo many bad titles to choose from….hmmm, i think i’ll pick: Adam’s Rib.

Brittle Bondage.  Because although it’s okay to slap a gal and call her ‘My innocent little fool’, to handcuff her to the bed and have bondage fun is Just Not Romance.  At least not for Harlequin…

(ooh!  They should SO have a bondage line!)

I’ve had the hardest time deciding between Gold Ring of Revenge &  Enter My Jungle. They both strike me as funny.

I think I’ll vote for Gold Ring of Revenge though. Toss of a coin decided.

Oddly enough I have read most of these….

I’m going with Time of the Temptress.

It has to be Bedding His Virgin Mistress because no novel is going to blantantly refer to f*****g the heroine in the title. Nuh-unh, no way! It has got to be subtle, not spelled out. Might as well call it “Banging His Virgin Bride.” And if he’s banging her, she aint no virgin!

I’m going to go with “Adam’s Rib”, only because I loved the movie (Kate Hepburn) and can’t imagine someone would use the same title for some man titty-covered romance novel.

(Then again, I can imagine, sadly…)

Wait a minute…

“Below is a list of Harlequin titles. All of them except one is fake. It is your job to pick the fake title.”

I pick Door Number Five! ;)

Below is a list of Harlequin titles. All of them except one is fake. It is your job to pick the fake title.

Clarification please! Is this Doublespeak or an SAT question? Should this read

“All of them except one is fake. It is your job to pick the real title.”

or

“All of them except one is real. It is your job to pick the fake title.”

or

Have I had too much strawberry La Creme today?

Bastards! I’ve been fooled.

Good eye for trickery, ladies.

I want my gift certificate.

If we never read Harlequin, shouldn’t we be able to Google half the titles, just to even the odds a little? Don’t you think? I’m going to guess Satan’s Contract. Just because I don’t think anyone else did. Although Thai Triangle…did they write menages in Harlequins? Wow. Guess I missed out!

For me it’s between Adam’s Rib (because of the movie) and Boss’ Virgin, because there just seems something squirrely about the apostrophe.  Because I could imagine someone ripping off one of my favorite movies (or at least the title), I’m going for Boss’ Virgin, on the weird feeling that apostrophe gives me alone.

I’m guessing “Brittle Bondage”.  I almost hope I’m wrong.  They all look so fake, but I know I’ve seen some of these.

:-P Adam’s Rib

It’s the only one not as good as “Enter My Jungle” Holy cow! I can’t believe that one is a real book, but I actually own that one. Ugh

I am guessing Boss’ Virgin, because no one would dare have that much correct grammer in a title.

Hmmm… Brittle Bondage? It has to be Brittle Bondage, right?!!!

This is my first WAG ever.  I vote for Boss’ Virgin, because I think Boons and Mills would mess up the grammar and make it Boss’s Virgin.

I can’t believe an HP would use the word sex in the title so my WAG is The Sex War

A couple of you had me so stinkin’ paranoid about some of the titles that I double-checked to make sure that yes, I HAD seen them and hadn’t added them to the list because I was high after hitting that crack pipe again, like I clearly was when I wrote the contest instructions.

Anyway, you guys will be shocked—SHOCKED—when you find out what the answer is tomorrow morning. Mwahahaha.

“This is my first WAG ever.  I vote for Boss’ Virgin, because I think Boons and Mills would mess up the grammar and make it Boss’s Virgin.”

But here’s the thing:  If it’s “The Boss’ Virgin,” then it’s correct.  But if it’s “Boss’ Virgin,” and “Boss” is a name, then it should be “Boss’s Virgin.”  That’s why it stuck out and why I’m stuck on it.

The City-Girl Bride

It’s the most boring of them all

:bug:

Oh. Wow.  I’m blinded by PURPLE!

And I spent a year reading those serials as a Used Bookstore clerk. 

My guess is: Enter My Jungle.  (Which still has nothing on the Song of Solomon and all those garden and thicket references.)

I really think “Boss’ Virgin” is too out there; it’s gotta be a fake! 

And the apostrophe stands out too much, I can’t see that in a book title.

But that is a wild guess, because at least 5 or 6 others could easily be fakes too.

Sue

Oh man, such a difficult call!  My first instinct was Gold Ring of Revenge, but then again, Presents are ALL ABOUT revenge by marriage.  So I think I’m going with Angry Desire, just because… because.

It sounds so silly that my vote is for Blackmailing the Society Bride

Ugh has burst my bubble, trampled upon my aspirations!  Hideous, mean Ugh!  I was SO sure it was Enter My Jungle - but you say this is a real title.  My God, what’s the world coming to?

My next Bombshell’s gonna be titled

Exit My Desert, or

Stay In My Mud Hut, or maybe

Squat My Land.

I’m guessing Silken Savagery.  It sounds like a historical romance title rather than a Presents title.  BTW - Enter My Jungle and Thai Triangle are real titles.  I laughed my ass off when I saw those two, and that’s how I remember…. ;)  And since Harlequin Presents loves revenge, hero = satan / demon, virgins, mistresses, brides, betrayal, boss / secretary romance, I crossed out the ones that suggested these “themes”.  And I didn’t want to pick Adam’s Rib although that’s another one of my guesses since a lot of you already picked it!

Hmm, I think I’d go with Tender is the Tyrant.  This sounds too historical to me, for some reason.  Not that mistresses and virgins and virgin mistresses aren’t historical constructs, but HP has a positive hard on for them.

I’m new to this, but I’m venturing into the tide!  :smirk:

It seems like any title with “Bride” or “Mistress” is almost surely real.

The blandest one is likely to be the fake one, so I’m going with….Strange Intimacy.  I don’t know—it’s just so blah.

It was a toss up between Enter My Jungle and Adam’s Rib.

I’m going with ENTER MY JUNGLE.

My guess is The Sex War because I’ve never seen the acual word in an HP title; they always go for the euphemisms (mistress, bedding).

I’m going with Satan’s Master because it sounds gay.

Damn. I cheated. The lure of Google was too much for me. So I won’t enter. But I think I’ll definitely use the fake title for a future book.

My first challenge, and I have no real clue…

So I’m going to just take a wild guess:

Blackmailing the Society Bride…

mostly because it’s too straightforward.  There’s no double meaning, no euphemisms.  It’s too clear for them.

Had to send my husband over here, these titles are so funny.

Brittle Bondage seems like the least likely to be an actual title. If I’m wrong, though, I hope you’ll post the author so I pick it up at my UBS.

:)
Alyssa

I’m pretty sure I’ve actually seen all the “Virgin” titles, although I think that Boss’ Virgin had The at the beginning. I think I’ve seen the “Satan” and “Demon” ones, too.

I’m convinced that almost no title has been too out there for Harlequin, but The Sex War sounds even weirder than most. That’s my bet.

Without reading any of the comments I’m going to blindly guess Dearest Demon. Now I’m sure I’ll go back and see that that was Harlequin Presents #121. *sigh.

I’ll go with “Tender is the Tyrant”.  I just like the way it sounds.

I keep thinking there has to be a twist to this… 
‘One of these is *not* a Harlequin Presents title…(dramatic pause) it’s a Silhouette Desire title!’

Sadly I think every single one of these sounds like it could be real.  Ack!  But I’m going to guess that “Brittle Bondage” is the fake one.

I’m almost certainly wrong, but just for the heck of it, and to guess one that no one else has guessed, I’ll pick The Deserving Mistress.

I’ll pick Boardroom to Bedroom, just because no one else has (I’m pretty sure) and because it’s so silly.

I’m going with Strange Intimacy.  It was a toss-up between that and the Judas Trap, but I can see the Judas Trap slipping through editorial and making it to the shelf.

And, my oh my, I’ve read too many of those.

L

I’m going to pick The City-Girl Bride because of the hyphen.

I remember buying a whole bunch of Harlequins at a fair type place for a buck and thinking I was in for some great reading.  I was 20 at the time and I read exactly three of the books and vowed never to waste another cent on the Presents line which is why I had no clue they had such weird titles!

I would have entered ‘the jungle’ but was shocked by other’s who have actually seen this book.

The only other one I think would be Boardroom to Bedroom because it’s so ho-hum.

CindyS

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I’m going to put my money on “Blackmailing the Society Bride”. Even though I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out it was real.

Well, I have no idea. I like the Judas Trap, but I have a feeling it’s the real title for a historical novel about twins who swap places in Ponce Pilates Palace and…Oh sorry, I’m supposed to be guessing.

All right - my guess is the Judas Trap.
Twins who swap places in order to trap their handsome, young, new priest into marriage…so they bake these special brownies see and take them to the after-church tea…

I’m sorry. I didn’t get past the first one.
Bwahahahahahahah!
If that’s not fake then someone needs a crash course in what constitutes puerile innuendo. I recommend Benny Hill...

Ohhh … you’ve brought me back to the glorious summer I turned fifteen and was given a box of old Harlequins/Mills and Boons – I’m pretty sure it contained most of the books on your list, but maybe that’s just the nostalgia talking.  Composing book titles appears to be a lost art – I saw a Mills and Boon the other day called The Rich Man’s Virgin -wtf?  They’re not even trying any more. 

As for the competition … I’m going to go The Sheikh’s Virgin Bride on the off chance it’s too obvious to be true!

Bedding his Virgin Mistress can’t be real… I think.

Anyway, I don’t have a 23 faces’dice.
(and I can’t find the one with 30…)

Harlequin Presents are my guilty pleasure—they completely suck, but I still buy one almost every month.  I can’t help it.  Is there any sort of HP Anonymous, like AA or NA?  It’s worse than crack, although it *is* slightly cheaper.  The stuff it’s doing to my brain is probably worse than what crack would do.

Anyway, I’m having a hard time choosing between The Sex War and Boss’ Virgin, for pretty much all of the reasons everyone else has listed above. “Sex” in a title seems unlikely, no matter how much goes on between the covers (sorry about the pun).  But the apostrophe and grammar of Boss’ Virgin is funky, too.  Since “virgin” is way more common than “sex”, I’ll go with the sex.  My vote is for “The Sex War”.

jmc

My guess: Gold Ring of Revenge.

I’m going to go with “Time of the Temptress” only because the title suggests a bad girl heroine… and that’s just not Harlequin presents.  “Time of the Temptress” sounds more like something in the “Blaze” line.

Blackmailing the Society Bride, because blackmailing is BAD. And because Society Bride does not equal Virgin Bride. Hmmm, maybe that’s why she’s being blackmailed? I may have to rethink this.

I’m going to go with Enter My Jungle. Because, hello? Sounds more like a porn title to me.  ;-) And because this is Harlequin. Aren’t the books supposed to be kinda almost subtle (I said almost), while porn is outright obvious? That’s my faulty logic, there. Hope it works.

So, yeah. Enter My Jungle.

Okay, I totally believe in all those virgin titles. And the demon/devil/satan titles. I even believe the Tai/Jungle title. Adam’s Rib. Yup. I believe it. Brittle bondage…I swear I kept thinking peanut brittle bondage where you have to eat yourself out dental cap cracking chains. Oh well, that’s what a girl gets for joining weight watchers.  Still, I even believe in Brittle Bondage, peanut or otherwise.

What I don’t believe in is Angry Desire.

FWIW,

terri

My guess is Angry Desire. 

I considered The Sex War, but that one stands out too much, and I don’t think the answer would be so obvious.  Angry Desire kinda blends in, but just seems… off.

Now watch me be wrong.

ROTFL—Until now in my literary life, “HP” has meant “Harry Potter.”  So imagine my surprise to read,

“Not that mistresses and virgins and virgin mistresses aren’t historical constructs, but HP has a positive hard on for them.”

Hmm, ironically, my anti-spam secret word today is straight63; if it were straight69, I’d almost believe in crypto-numerology.

You know, I didn’t think about it when I posted, Feklar, but who knows what JK Rowling is hiding in her archives? :)

Michelle: 

You know, I didn’t think about it when I posted, Feklar, but who knows what JK Rowling is hiding in her archives?

Well, JKR has already given him a fetish for cute Asian chicks, maybe he’ll go for a Thai Triangle.  Or Candy can break out the Mrs. Robinson undies.

Ok, I have NOT read the comments, and I’m probably wrong, but I think Brittle Bondage is the fake,

Love,
Robin (who should be writing)

Bad Robin!

Go write!

LOLOL!

terri

I’m going with Enter My Jungle.

And I think I read Tender is the Tyrant.

Crikey, I’ve been putting off my guess because I just couldn’t pick one, but now I see the deadline is nigh so tohellwithit…The Sex War.

::wince::

Oh geesh I dunno. I’m torn between Thai Triangle (sounds like a bikini wax) and Dearest Demon…oh which one…which one…ok. Dearest Demon.

Am I too late to enter the contest?

Okay, I’m dying to know.  What’s the real fake one???