The Following Cliches Are Brought to You by the Letter P

Bitchin' Blog Posts

by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | October 18, 2012 | Thursday at 1:53 am | 101 Comments

There are two words I keep running into in romances, and I have to talk about them.

First: when a heroine is barefoot and she's ambulating from one location to another, what verb will be used to describe her movement?

Padded.

All barefoot people pad. Count on it.

I searched "padded" on all books on my Kindle, and came up with 20+ examples referring to people walking barefoot. Because it's new, I have a total of 10 books on this device, so granted this is a very limited sample. But when I search my archive of books online, I get a similar flash flood of people paddling around. These are some of the results - sound familiar?

"She padded into the kitchen."
"She padded into the living room."
"Her bare feet padded against the hardwood floor."
"She tossed the covers off, padded naked to the table…"
"I changed into my sweatpants and padded out to the living room in my bare feet."
"He padded back to the bedroom."
"She kicked off her heels and padded toward the kitchen barefoot."

Perhaps I'm unconsciously drawn to books wherein someone will be barefoot, but that's a lot of padding.

This is starting to remind me of when I found references to "scudding clouds" in the sky in about six different historical romances within a two month period. It's like words go through surges in popularity within a subgenre. So with contemporary romance, there's a higher likelihood of small towns with aspirational names, baked goods and pastries, irascible secondary characters, and barefoot people padding all over the place.

It's not as if "pad" isn't a verb. It totally is and it's been around for awhile:

And now that I've been thinking about it, I admit to having a difficult time coming up with an alternate word. The only thing better would be if there were a specific word for those who walk around in the shoes with toes, like Bikram Five Fingers.

"She five fingered her way through the living room."

Well, no, that doesn't work, does it?

It's not as if there's a better word, or that the usage is wrong - it's not. It's one of those words that read more than said aloud - have you ever said to someone, "I padded my way to the kitchen," or "Pad your way up the stairs right now, young man"? I have not. And it seems as if that word is in so many books of late, I'm adding it to my cliche bingo card.

And while I'm on the subject of letters beginning with the letter 'P,' I do need to ask WHY all the nipples are PERT. We've talked about how nipples are fruity (and nipples on men are (a) flat and (b) male) but we haven't really examined the use (or overuse, depending on whether or not you're me) of pert.

Have you noticed how many pert nipples there are? THERE ARE SO MANY.

Her already pert nipples crinkled into tight buds. He grinned.

Lila Dubois
Red Ribbon

Her pert nipples were enlivened and visible against the bodice of her gown. He vividly recollected how those nipples had been pressed to his chest after he'd rescued her from the stream.

Cheryl Holt
Double Fantasy

Then with a light shaking movement I'd ease my red semi-see-through bra over my breasts and down across my nipples.'
'Wait do your nipples feel like?'
'They're haaaard,' I panted. 'And they're pert.'

Amanda Brunker
Champagne Kisses

He couldn't resist the invitation and licked at onepert nipple, stroking his tongue over it and then tugging gently with his teeth.

Christine Feehan
Deadly Game

He tweaked her pert nipple and she moaned.

Lorelie Brown
Jazz Baby

...his head had dropped lower, and suddenly his mouth closed over one pert nipple, teeth biting gently, then lips suckling hard, as his long fingers tangled in the soft curls at the juncture of her thighs.

Jacqueline Baird
Untamed Italian, Blackmailed Innocent

Her thumbs smoothed over her pert nipples, bringing them into even more prominent life.

Celia M. Hart
Made for Sin

She arched her back and her breasts pushed forward, the pert nipples standing up like little pebbles set in a round of pale caramel.

Charlotte Boyett-Compo
WyndRiver Sinner

Now honestly, who does that to caramel dessert?!

Those pert nipples are not just in romance either:

“I would love to tease your pert nipples with my tongue.”
“You don't have a tongue.”
“Yes, all right, but if I did have a tongue, I would love to tease your pert nipples with it.”
Dean R. Koontz
Demon Seed

And this example which just made me laugh:

It is a cliche to say "pert nipples". What does "pert" mean? Pert; fucking stupit word. Now she was leaving. Nay wonder.

James Kelman
You Have to be Careful in the Land of the Free

Aside from Pert 2-in1 shampoo, is there anything else that is so frequently described as pert?! I've seen a handful of pert noses, but mostly, it's nipples. Why are nipples always pert? Is there no other word, aside from fruity references?

I pondered "pert" WAY too much and had to learn more about it. Much like "pad" as a verb, "pert" is an adjective with a long history:

So nipples are trim and stylish and jaunty? Or are they high spirited, vivacious, bold and saucy? Or saucily free and forward? For God's sake, it's a nipple, not hired entertainment leaping out of a giant cake.

"Pert" can also mean "attractive due of neatness," "jaunty," or "lively." I do not want lively nipples. I have enough trouble with pokey nipples when wearing sheer shirts.

Perhaps the reason the almost ubiquitous usage bothers me is within the etymology: "pert" comes from Middle English meaning "unconcealed, bold" and traces back to the Latin word "apertus," for "open." So basically the nipples are much like the hero's dick-as-divining rod, and the erect nipple is a signal that she's bold, unconcealed, and open for, ahem, plundering. They're the equivalent of an erection in signaling arousal, or signaling piquant stimulation. Even if she says no, her pert nipples say yes.

The usage in romance sex scenes seems to have more in common with the older definitions of "pert," particular the Middle English one, and not the contemporary definitions I've found. But the word "pert" in romance has become almost exclusively connected with "nipple," to the point where looking too closely at the meaning conjures up some very alarming nipples indeed.

Pert is ubiquitous, much to my dismay. Unfortunately, if one is looking for a different word (and not raspberry-like fruit references), the listed synonyms at merriam.com aren't much help: active, airy, animate, animated, bouncing,brisk, energetic, frisky, gay, jaunty, jazzy, kinetic,mettlesome, peppy, perky, lively, pizzazzy,racy, snappy, spanking, sparky, spirited, sprightly, springy,vital, vivacious, zippy.

Frisky nipples! Mettlesome nipples! ZIPPY NIPPLES. Oh, I cannot wait for the zippy nipples.

Have you noticed people padding with pert nipples in your romances? Or is there another word you see all the time? Does it bother you?

Filed: General Bitching, Random Musings, Ranty McRant

Tagged: wtfery, pert, padded, make the burning stop, cliche, awesomesauce

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Oaxacamama said on 10.18.12 at 04:09 AM • [link]

There’s one expression that I see all over historical romances and that bugs the hell out of me: bone-deep or bone-tired. To me it’s shorthand for “I can’t figure out how to show how excruciating the heroine’s pain is, so I’ll just use this cliche.” Isn’t there some other way to communicate the same idea to us without using ‘bone’ as a modifier? Or if it is necessary, can’t we be a little more expansive with it? Bone-happy, for example, or bone-angry, bone-crazy, bone-intelligent, bone-horny, bone-aroused. There are really endless possibilities, but all I really know is that it makes me feel bone-annoyed.
Sarah W said on 10.18.12 at 05:47 AM • [link]

I will now clean off my keyboard and go invent a drink called the Zippy Nipple.

It will be fruity and pert.
SB Sarah said on 10.18.12 at 06:54 AM • [link]

“Bone horny” might be accompanied by a boner, if it’s a dude. That sounds promising!
Mel Johansson said on 10.18.12 at 07:09 AM • [link]

I want to know: if one of the definitions of pert is “cocky,” why aren’t we hearing more about pert cocks? Is it because it would be redundant?
Elaine M Brennan said on 10.18.12 at 07:11 AM • [link]

evocative. or evocatively. (yes, I’m looking at you, Stephanie Laurens). What-the-hell does “he touched her evocatively” mean ? evocatively of what ?

Once or twice, maybe ... but in almost every book, the heroine gets touched evocatively (evocative: adjective, brings to mind a memory, mood or image; redolent or reminiscent).
Anna Cowan said on 10.18.12 at 07:23 AM • [link]

Being in love with any overtly feminine word being applied to a man, I now want to see pert cocks come into fashion.
Sophydc said on 10.18.12 at 07:29 AM • [link]

Need. at least two thirds of love scenes involve the word “need” used to mean desire or lust. I find it weirdly euphemistic and annoying, particularly when repeated eight in one scene…....Pert cocks would be awesome, but they sound little and cute so I think that might not go over too well : )
Susan Donovan said on 10.18.12 at 07:30 AM • [link]

You’re right, SB Sarah. Words do go through surges in popularity in romance novels, just as they do in popular culture. This is no excuse for lazy writing, however.

I should probably be serving five-to-ten for my liberal use of “padding” and “bone-somethings,” but I don’t think there’s a pert nipple to be found in my eleven years as a writer. I’ll say this—it’s damn difficult to keep coming up with different descriptive phrases for erect body parts. Let’s say, for example, that each book has three hot-and-heavy love scenes and each love scene makes thirty references to naughty bits in their turgid states. Let’s say a writer has written twenty books in her career. That’s 1,800 uniquely engorged anatomical parts! It makes me bone-tired just to think of it, and I’m generally quite pert at 8:30 am.
Liz Talley said on 10.18.12 at 07:30 AM • [link]

Ha, this was a perfect post to read this morning. I needed a laugh.

I usually use “pert” in reference to a nose rather than nipples. I might have used perky, but I’m thinking I probably skipped that one, too. Now, I’m going to have to go back and look.

But here lately, I’ve been using “snick” a lot. As in “the door snicked closed” or “She heard the soft snick of the door.” Don’t know why. Maybe because I can hear that sound, but I catch it when I type it and I feel like I’m over using it. But otherwise, it’s just “the door closed” which is fine, I suppose, but I like “snick” better.

And so now I’ve been noting it in all the books I read.

Fun post :)
Deborah Green said on 10.18.12 at 07:32 AM • [link]

people leaning in - “he leaned in and kissed her” - way too many times, in too many books.
can’t he angle in for a kiss? stoop, lunge, move? or just kiss? is it essential for the guy’s move to be described, or could we just extrapolate from the fact that they weren’t touching, then he kissed her, which must’ve required some movement…?
Liz Lincoln said on 10.18.12 at 07:38 AM • [link]

I had the exact same thought.
Liz Lincoln said on 10.18.12 at 07:42 AM • [link]

As a breastfeeding mom, my nipples do at times get jaunty. But in a very non-sexy way. A hero would not like the results (my husband just laughs at me). And the raspberry thing baffles me. In my random sample of 1 (me), they are quite different from raspberries.

And I’m so glad you posted this while I’m working on revisions. I’m totally finding a place to work in zippy nipples. And on the same vein, my heroes never have flat, male nipples (of course their nipples are male - they’re men!). Just nipples. That phrase pulls me out of the book every time I read it.
Beccah W. said on 10.18.12 at 07:45 AM • [link]

“the hero’s dick-as-divining rod” HA!

Yes, descriptions of nipple are almost always thought provoking. I’ve seen many a pert nipple appear in Romance Land, but what I find even funnier are these descriptions: “his long fingers tangled in the soft curls at the juncture of her thighs.” OUCH. That sounds painful! Stop tangling those curls and just do some nice stroking.
Sandy D. said on 10.18.12 at 07:47 AM • [link]

Have you already discussed “laved”?
SB Sarah said on 10.18.12 at 08:01 AM • [link]

Oh yes, we have discussed laved. And lathed, which is NOT the same thing.
Zmom Joanne said on 10.18.12 at 08:16 AM • [link]

I’ll need mind-bleach.

The bitch padded over to her litter of ten where each of her offspring latched onto a pert nipple full of nourishment. Oh, ugh.
LauraN said on 10.18.12 at 08:44 AM • [link]

AGREED. I nearly sprain something from rolling my eyes too hard every time I see it. But then, I also almost hurt myself with the self loathing I feel whenever I give her another chance. I’ll grant that her first few novels are fun, but the stuff she’s produced in the last several years? Formulaic and boring. If I had a greater pool to choose from when it comes to downloadable audiobooks from my library, I’d never read her again.
Sally said on 10.18.12 at 09:00 AM • [link]

Oh, I noticed that, too! The Stephanie Laurens cliche that did for me was the hero’s ubiquitous ‘demons’. It seems that every time a SL hero touches a SL heroine, he needs to rein in, leash, or otherwise control his ‘demons’.

Oh, and Mary Balogh’s heroes, when, um, exploring their lady friends, inevitably ‘part folds’. It gets to the point now that I start looking out for that phrase.
hapax said on 10.18.12 at 09:21 AM • [link]

The one that gets me is the Eve Dallas books, when she is always “fisting” her hands in Roarke’s hair. I know what she means, but “fisted” has a rather different connotation for me, and I always think “Ah, ewww” for a minute.

Oddly enough, I haven’t noticed it so much in her Nora Roberts books.

(Also, “slanting” lips. WTH does that even *mean*?)
Kellie Kamryn said on 10.18.12 at 09:26 AM • [link]

Bahaha! I do not think I’d ever describe a nipple as “pizzazzy”. With so many words for things, we must learn to use our thesaurus’ more often :) Great post!
Cschuttenhelm said on 10.18.12 at 09:37 AM • [link]

In old stuff….. pouting breasts and impertinent breasts. Are they not talking to you? Or are they talking back? I was a clueless teenager way back then and I couldn’t figure it out.
Qualisign said on 10.18.12 at 09:42 AM • [link]

Illicit and elicit. Not only is illicit used inappropriately in many books, it is offputtingly common to find its near homonym, elicit, in its place. There just aren’t that illicit acts left these days, and kissing isn’t one of them…
MissB2U said on 10.18.12 at 09:47 AM • [link]

I’ve come to look at some of these words and phrases as commonly accepted lingo - like you’d find in a scientific paper. Everyone uses them and knows what is meant. I think Ms. Donovan makes an excellent point, how many ways can you say it? This is one of the reasons I periodically read books with a romantic theme but little or no actual sexytimes. I love it when the story is so compelling that the “parts” don’t add that much to the mix.
GHN said on 10.18.12 at 09:51 AM • [link]

*rolls eyes at clichés*
Those pert nipples are so omnipresent that they have become invisible, or at least unnoticeable.

Another thing that I frequently encounter in descriptions of romantic sexxytimes, is “inner thighs”, which is used when the author wants to talk about the piece of female anatomy that is found between them. Which part must NEVER, EVER be named.
Unless the author reaches for another piece of euphemism and writes something like “Her womb clenched in lust.”
No.
Actually, HELL NO!
When your womb clenches, it’s because you have menstrual cramps, and believe me, sex is the last thing on my mind at a time like that!!
Sharon Taylor said on 10.18.12 at 10:10 AM • [link]

“Graced”: as in “A smile graced his/her perfectly formed lips.” Every time I see that, I sigh. Possibly evocatively, as it reminds me of the hundreds of earnest fan-fic stories I’ve read over the years. I know it is technically correct, but I always envision a smug Mona-Lisa-like face, which can really change one’s inner vision of the hero!
Flo_over said on 10.18.12 at 10:16 AM • [link]

You had me at Zippy Nipple.

I hope someone starts a band with that name.
K.M. Jackson said on 10.18.12 at 10:42 AM • [link]

I love this post because just the other day when writing my heroine got out of bed and I stopped and groaned. Ugh. She was padding and it felt so off. So I went to the dictionary and the thesaurus. After I paced a while, she still padded but it was against my will. Maybe she should have shuffled.
Jaelwye said on 10.18.12 at 10:42 AM • [link]

This is a good moment to reiterate the rule that the words “moist” and “damp” should never appear in a romance novel except in conjunction with the word “dishrag”.
Sarah Ginter said on 10.18.12 at 10:53 AM • [link]

Good points, ladies! Hair, no matter its natural texture, is ALWAYS “skeins (stupid word anyway) of silk.” Why can’t the chick’s hair be a little nappy? Coarse and stiff? I mean, my hair is naturally curly and I can tell you unless I do something with it, burlap is closer to what my hair feels like than silk. I even read a romance (very typical, sudden-crappy-weather-we-must-hide-together-in-this-abandoned-cabin-in-our-very-wet-clothes type) where they had just come in from flat-ass pouring rain and her curly hair was soaked and the hero described it as silky, and I distinctly remember him running his fingers through it. O_o Sounds legit.
Sarah Ginter said on 10.18.12 at 11:11 AM • [link]

I agree with the “folds” thing. I always think of two pieces of bologna smacking together, “folds” sounds too close to “flaps.” Gives me the heebies. Another one that bugs the everloving hell out of me is “nether curls.” Can’t we just say “hair?” Like we’re not going to know that you mean pubic hair?
Beccah W. said on 10.18.12 at 11:16 AM • [link]

Can’t. Breathe. Too. Funny. FLAPS!
Crankybeach said on 10.18.12 at 11:35 AM • [link]

Gaze. Overused and yet hard to avoid.
GhengisMom said on 10.18.12 at 11:37 AM • [link]

Yes. Yes! Don’t stop YES! The friggin “womb clenching” makes me crazy!
Cynthia D'Alba said on 10.18.12 at 11:49 AM • [link]

Zippy Nipples…I shall be on the look-out for nipples zipping across my pages.

I can’t give you the zippy nipple but how about a Slippery Nipple for lunch?
1/2 oz Bailey’s® Irish cream
1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps
patricia burroughs said on 10.18.12 at 11:54 AM • [link]

Sardonic and sardonically. Sometimes over and over in the same book. I am more likely to notice when a hero is NOT sardonic or does not smirk sardonically because it’s so damned rare. And yet, I love the type of hero who is described as sardonic, so shoot me.
Lucy Woodhull said on 10.18.12 at 11:57 AM • [link]

Yes! “Padded” is one of my most-hated words in romance. No heroine walks into a part of her house anymore—she pads like a puppy. 90% of the time it seems she does this into the kitchen; I think we should rename it the Pad Place. You pad there, you eat pad thai, and you think to yourself about how terrible Natalie Portman was playing Padme Amidala in Star Wars while you gaze at your pert nipples in the chrome toaster.

Why must all boobs be pert, anyhow? I want some floppy-titty romance, dammit!
Karen McCullough said on 10.18.12 at 12:00 PM • [link]

Here’s another “P” word that gets used a lot in romance novels, particularly in regard to eating: Pop. It seems like heroines never just put a piece of food into their mouths. They “pop” it in.
Xahne said on 10.18.12 at 12:12 PM • [link]

And why is bread always crusty?
hapax said on 10.18.12 at 12:32 PM • [link]

“We must invent the Zippy Nipple”

Bailey’s Irish Cream, Goldschlager, and a dash of Tabasco?
Carrie Gwaltney said on 10.18.12 at 12:34 PM • [link]

Okay, this might not fall into the same category since it isn’t one word, but when thinking “over used” in romance novels, I immediately think of the heroine biting her lower lip. Historical, paranormal, contemporary, suspense….it doesn’t matter. Heroines everywhere must have bruised and bloody lips from biting them so often! I can’t help but visualize an overacted silent film heroine with her teeth on her lower lip and her hand, palm out, across her forehead.
Sylviefox said on 10.18.12 at 01:23 PM • [link]

Ok, did a search, one character - who never wears shoes, pads seven times. But out of five books, one isn’t too bad. No pert nipples, though. Now, back to writing about barefoot women with erect nipples.
MaddBookish said on 10.18.12 at 01:33 PM • [link]

Tresses. Tresses I hate the most, especially in more contemporary works, and any heroine who refers to her own hair using the word tresses needs to suffer a tragic Nair related accident.

I don’t mind pad so much, though I’ve seen it used a plenty and it does call attention to itself, but pert nipples have always annoyed me. I’ve also seen “... round, pert breasts ...” used.
Rosa E. said on 10.18.12 at 01:37 PM • [link]

The ones I see a lot are “cut his/her eyes to (wherever)” and “hummed” instead of “hmmed.” The cut eyes I first spotted in Janet Evanovich, but they seem to be cropping up a lot more lately. And “hummed” just gets on my nerves: humming is a thing, but it’s not the same as making the ‘hmmm’ sound.

“Padded” is one of those words that’s just hard to find an evocative alternative for.
PamG said on 10.18.12 at 01:43 PM • [link]

@Elaine, Laura, & Sally
Is Laurens the author whose nipples ruche? I know all her heroes “prowl” behind the heroine like possessive beasts. Laurens even turns structure into cliche. How many times has the hero licked, laved, and lashed a nipple? I’m always impressed by these alliterative parallel constructions of porny delite! I guess it’s supposed to intensify the experience.

I found that various Bridgertons “gritting out” their aggravation several times per book put me off Julia Quinn, but then I encountered the phrase in other Regencies and gave up. It’s like a virus. Someone comes up with a relatively original term, and other authors unconsciously pick it up.

Other terms that have been turning up lately involve the hero “slanting his lips over hers” or plunging, thrusting (or otherwise burrowing) into her “core.” Am I weird that all I can visualize is a worm in an apple?
Kerry D. said on 10.18.12 at 01:51 PM • [link]

I have to say that bone tired works for me. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and when I’m really tired I first feel the pain in my arms and legs. And it’s so embedded in me I think of it as bone deep because if it was any deeper it would have to start coming out the side. But I readily acknowledge I’m probably an exception rather than the rule.
ridiculousspider said on 10.18.12 at 01:54 PM • [link]

My nipples should be stylish and jaunty. That would be awesome. Then when somebody says “You are not stylish” I could say “But my NIPPLES are. HAHA. Can you say that?”

Huh…maybe I need more sleep.

I’ve read about expressions and faces and hats being pert. Oh, and I think I read the term used to describe a nicely-clad (stylish?) butt once. It seems, to me, to be a description used for women - their nipples, noses, faces, etc.

I’ve written stories where people “pad” in their socked feet. Oh the cliches. I use them.
ridiculousspider said on 10.18.12 at 02:07 PM • [link]

Wait. The writers don’t actually mean the heroine’s inner thighs?

My mind. It is blown.
Zoe Zygmunt said on 10.18.12 at 02:14 PM • [link]

I can not stand the word “ropey” to describe the hero’s muscles. All I can picture is bumpy boat line pushing up through their skin. “Corded” is also out. Basically any type of lashing material used to describe muscles. Ick.
JanLo said on 10.18.12 at 02:33 PM • [link]

What bugs me is folks who confuse “rein” and “reign.” Often seen in historicals and urban fantasies.
I’ll check in the morning to see after my shower if my nipples are zippy. I assume they are as I work for the University of Akron and the mascot is Zippy - a kangaroo. Gives a whole new slant to the discussion!
SelenaBlake said on 10.18.12 at 02:42 PM • [link]

I must not be reading the right books because I’ve never seen pert used in this fashion. I have, however, seen it used to describe noses. I’m probably guilty of that myself.
Katehewitt said on 10.18.12 at 02:53 PM • [link]

I’ve read a lot of nipples pebbling. It sounds painful to me. I try to avoid any mention of nipples in anything I write. I find I can write a love scene without pebbling or pertness in that area :)
laj said on 10.18.12 at 03:19 PM • [link]

The use of awesome for EVERYTHING makes me crazy!
Corvidchild said on 10.18.12 at 03:24 PM • [link]

This one’s just for accurate historicals, but hoo boy did Georgette Heyer love to say “A maggot in his brain.” It’s in all her books and whenever I see it I have to stop reading and go dry heave.

Also, smirking. Can we all just stop smirking already? It’s making my face hurt.
Patricia said on 10.18.12 at 04:22 PM • [link]

Two phrases I’ve run into that pull me right out of the story because I can’t figure out what they mean: “he glittered darkly” and “her mobile lips.” The first phrase might make sense for Meyer-esque vampires, but I just can’t figure out how regular old humans glitter, darkly or otherwise. As for the “mobile lips,” I picture some sort of repetitive fishy-lip motion going on, and it’s not attractive at all.

And I concur with the distaste for “slanting lips.” Hate, hate, hate that phrase.
Liz Lincoln said on 10.18.12 at 04:36 PM • [link]

My womb clenched during labor. That was not at all sexy.
Mik said on 10.18.12 at 05:10 PM • [link]

The word that drives me batty is “nubbin,’ usually in reference to the clitoris. Is it just me? I see it constantly!
Heather said on 10.18.12 at 05:54 PM • [link]

The word that annoys me most is “lush”. A heroine always has lush curves, lush breasts, lush lips. Heck, even the way an author writes romances can be lush, according to a cover blurb I saw on “The Black Diamond” by Andrea Kane in the original paperback.

The word “lush” should be banned from Romancelandia forthwith.
KimberlyChapman said on 10.18.12 at 06:03 PM • [link]

I don’t like those phrases either so I just did a quick search of my latest book (which I won’t name on account of honestly not trying to be spammy), and although my leading lady prefers to be barefoot indoors and out - weather permitting - I haven’t used it once.

I also never use the word “pert” at all. I checked. It’s only in there as part of “property”. I describe nipples as “stiffened” in one scene and “hardened” in another. No “pert” nipples to be found. Possibly because I use that shampoo and if I ever described someone’s nipples as “pert” I’d imagine them being green and gooey and while I’m sure that’s lovely for certain science-fiction romance, it doesn’t really fit my style.
Sandra said on 10.18.12 at 06:12 PM • [link]

@Elaine, Laura, & Sally
Is Laurens the author whose nipples ruche?

Yes, Laurens would be the one who writes so evocatively of ruched nipples.
Amy Raby (Alpha Lyra) said on 10.18.12 at 06:35 PM • [link]

I like padded for barefoot walking. It’s a far better word than “went” or “walked,” since it has a sensory component. I can hear what it sounds like when someone pads from one place to another, and when it’s the POV character I can feel it.

I’m not terribly fond of “pert.”
annie m. said on 10.18.12 at 06:45 PM • [link]

One that really turns me off is when the hero waggles or wiggles his eyebrows. Gag. Reminds me of Groucho Marx and kind of Mitt Romney. Not sexy at all.
Jo O said on 10.18.12 at 06:46 PM • [link]

Not only nipples seem to be pert, breasts are as well - except when they are perky!

Overused phrase: emptied himself. Unfortunately my sister has used this term for years when discussing her dog’s bowel movements (which she seems to do waay to often) - I therefore really notice when this phrase is used for the hero and it makes me shudder!
Anna said on 10.18.12 at 08:52 PM • [link]

Worst offender: Lisa Kleypas
JaniceG said on 10.18.12 at 10:15 PM • [link]

I am surprised that no one has brought up the all-time favorite nipple quote from science fiction grandmaster Robert Heinlein in _Number of the Beast_: “Our teeth grated and my nipples went spung” - I always picture some sort of lock mechanism being opened by their teeth colliding at just the right angle :->
Shal said on 10.18.12 at 10:26 PM • [link]

the ‘pop’ does get 2 me 2…in my head she’s pelting food in her mouth…lol
sweetsiouxsie said on 10.18.12 at 10:47 PM • [link]

@ Sarah Ginter…Johanna Lindsay once used the word fleece to describe the nether curls.
ToppysMom said on 10.18.12 at 11:24 PM • [link]

Said it before, will say it again: I so heart Maya Banks, but please may she or her editor start praying to the God of verbs to find another one than “amble.” Enough ambling already!! It is not a manner of movement I want in my man of action.

And “pool” ... as another of Ms. Banks’ fans pointed out, a lot of things pool at her characters’ feet. Blood pools. Water pools. But I’m thinking one’s undies would have to be pretty darn big to pool. Not that there’s anything wrong with that….
cecilia said on 10.18.12 at 11:28 PM • [link]

How about “scuffed” as a substitute for “padded”? To show it’s been awhile since the last pedicure.
Sally said on 10.19.12 at 12:25 AM • [link]

It’s not just you. I don’t understand how anyone can think ‘nubbin’ is a sexy word. It sounds like something you’d hang a coat on.
Kate Sparks said on 10.19.12 at 05:28 AM • [link]

Can you cross reference authors, publishers & editors… maybe there’s just the pool of new editors who just ‘LOVE LOVE LOVE’ .... pert, padded, pooled,... or maybe it’s just those darn words that begin with the letter ‘P’!!!
snarkhunter said on 10.19.12 at 09:35 AM • [link]

Bone tired makes perfect sense to me. Maybe b/c when I’m extremely tired (which is frequently) it literally hurts all the way down to the bones.
Vicky Dreiling said on 10.19.12 at 09:47 AM • [link]

I am soooo tempted to insert *piquantly stimulated* nipples into my manuscript just to see what the copy editor will say. ;-)
Mina Lobo said on 10.19.12 at 09:54 AM • [link]

That whole padding around in bare feet business has been getting up my nose for a while, now. Ugh.
Chloemonster said on 10.19.12 at 10:17 AM • [link]

If you read Julia Quinn, you will certainly find many, many uses of the phrase “ground out” in use when the hero or heroine is angry and speaking. Once you notice how much she uses it, when you read it, it jolts you right on out of the novel.
Cerulean said on 10.19.12 at 11:34 AM • [link]

Surely there’s a list somewhere of euphemisms for erogenous zones!?
Anna Richland said on 10.19.12 at 12:02 PM • [link]

Happiness here: searched current manuscript for “pert” and found only hypertension, expert, expertise, and property (although I seemed to have a lot of experts with expertise, so I may need to reconsider that ...) All uses of word “pad” were nouns or adjectives: keypad, knee pad, elbow pad (lots of soldiers wearing body armor), and padded seats. Not a single padding movement. Afraid to look for bone, though. Pretty sure I wrote that one yesterday.
memyselfI said on 10.19.12 at 12:09 PM • [link]

huff or huffed, especially in m/m
Janet Mullany said on 10.19.12 at 12:38 PM • [link]

You captured one without realizing—juncture of thighs. Or even worse, junction, presumably waiting for the big steamy choo choo of love.
Susan Donovan said on 10.19.12 at 01:16 PM • [link]

@Janet Mullany—If you don’t mind, I’d like to pilfer your term “big steamy cho cho of love” for use in my current novel.
harthad said on 10.19.12 at 01:42 PM • [link]

So tired of “core” in reference to the heroine’s magic hoo-ha. Makes me think of Pilates. I think this is not what the authors intend.
Lauren said on 10.19.12 at 01:50 PM • [link]

Liz, I was JUST reading an otherwise-awesome novella that mentioned a clenched womb at least twice.

I’d be all torqued up and then, “huh?”
Kay Rogal said on 10.19.12 at 02:03 PM • [link]

Personally, I don’t mind reading the word ‘cock’ but for some reason the word. ‘Penis’ is a different matter :-)
Kate4queen said on 10.19.12 at 02:23 PM • [link]

Ooh ‘jaunty nipples’ I like that one! (rushes off to insert it into current WIP)
Sometimes as an author I find a great word and I think, I love that! I’ll use that! And then find I’ve used it twenty-five times in a book and its lost its specialness… writing is hard. :)
Susan D said on 10.19.12 at 03:45 PM • [link]

Regarding nubbins, there’s the Friends episode about Chandler’s third nipple. Joey says, “You told me it was a nubbin!” Short video clip here:
http://youtu.be/hup7O0vD2Oo
Virginia Llorca said on 10.19.12 at 05:14 PM • [link]

Pert nipples aren’t the equivalent of an erection. They are an erection. And did you cut and paste those excerpts? Disturbing typos. And now I have to search for “padded”. What is a good substitute?
Virginia Llorca said on 10.19.12 at 05:22 PM • [link]

Fuzzy Nipple! That’s the drink name I was trying to recall. Why so many nipple references in cocktails? Oh cocktails. I see now.
Virginia Llorca said on 10.19.12 at 05:23 PM • [link]

Biggy in 50 Shades I’ve heard.
Virginia Llorca said on 10.19.12 at 05:28 PM • [link]

I have used “poinked”. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Fie on autocorrect.
Virginia Llorca said on 10.19.12 at 05:30 PM • [link]

Can’t get away from “nub”. It just is. I am comment happy here. Must be piquant subject matter.
Virginia Llorca said on 10.19.12 at 05:32 PM • [link]

Love “spung”. Stealing.
Virginia Llorca said on 10.19.12 at 05:33 PM • [link]

heart
Rei Hab said on 10.20.12 at 04:01 AM • [link]

Pert nipples are definitely a thing, as are pert breasts. I’ve also seen a few pert posteriors/bottoms/asses.

I do feel like nipples get kind of a raw deal, though - no uncomfortable pun intended. I mean, they’re a perfectly acceptable erogenous zone. I wish they weren’t so frequently used as little lust barometers, but, you know, lots of people like it when you do stuff to their nipples. Fine. But there’s just no sexy word for them. You’ve got nipples, nips or nubbins, and they all sound like something you’d find in the Little DIY Shop Of Horrors.
miz_geek said on 10.20.12 at 02:10 PM • [link]

Google ngram viewer lets us look at the frequency of words from all the books they have scanned.

Here’s the link for “pert nipples” vs. “pert nose”
http://books.google.com/ngrams…

I don’t know that padded will work in the ngram viewer, since it’s likely to be used as an adjective more than a verb.
farmerestes said on 10.21.12 at 09:27 AM • [link]

Men are always roaring as they climax. And we’re not talking outdoor sex. Even in a manor house, as a party goes on downstairs- he roars. My man does not roar, perhaps I am doing something wrong, or something not quite right enough.
Rebecca said on 10.21.12 at 10:53 AM • [link]

That’s so cool about the etymology of “pad” (and makes perfect sense as soon as you think of Dutch bicycle paths “fietspadden”). I like the word since it suggests a specific motion—but perhaps the cliche in this instance is not the WORD but the actual ACTION (e.g. not the signifier but the signified). A heroine getting out of bed and not wanting to wake the hero could tiptoe (perfectly good word, and accurate when barefoot on cold floors). A furtive heroine could creep or scurry. A confident heroine could stride or hurry. And if the action isn’t important and the destination is, why not just use “go.” (“She went to the kitchen to get coffee.”)

I tend to avoid “walk” for indoor usage (e.g. “she walked to the door”) because I’m an apartment dweller and walking to me implies a longer distance than the ten steps necessary to get across a modern room. (See Miss Bingley in Pride and Prejudice for a good use of indoor recreational walking. The first time I read that scene I was temporarily thrown out of the story by wondering just how big the rooms in Netherfield were that someone could walk back and forth in them without looking like a prisoner pacing off the dimensions of his cell like a lunatic. Incidentally “pace” is a good word too, although it does begin with “p.”)

Good outdoor perambulating p words include “pelt” or “pound” for run. The sound of (shod) feet sprinting DOES actually involve a pounding sound (and action, hence the knee damage of many runners), and going fast enough will raise the blood pressure to make the blood pound in a sprinter’s temples, so the verb neatly implies two distinct sensations, especially in the first person.
Suzanna said on 10.22.12 at 06:45 PM • [link]

“Mounted”, as in “he mounted her”, specific to Mary Balogh. It makes me think of horses, every time.
Bec said on 10.23.12 at 05:54 AM • [link]

Another p for you - PERKY nipples
Bec said on 10.23.12 at 05:58 AM • [link]

Surely she could do something on her iPad? Maybe watch Padme? Or research how to make her nipples perter? (Don’t think that’s a word though!)
Bec said on 10.23.12 at 05:59 AM • [link]

Yes! And the hero always wants to soothe said lip!
Angela Hocking said on 10.30.12 at 12:36 PM • [link]

Big turn-off: “cleft” and/or “folds” instead of pussy, because “cleft” makes me think “chasm” and “folds” makes me think of the clean laundry that’s piling up as I read erotic romance books instead of folding it and putting it away. Also, from now on I’m substituting “mettlesome” for “pert”. Small thrills, but thanks!
sabby said on 11.04.12 at 12:57 PM • [link]

I wish we could stay away from detailed descriptions of lady parts, in general, during romantic sexytimes. I mean, can’t we experience the sexytimes and not observe them?

IRL when I’m experiencing them I don’t think, “And he’s circling my clit with his thumb, curling his big finger into me.” No, I just go, “YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, oh my god oh my god omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodoooooooooooomiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood”

Or something like that. I don’t even know. You’d have to ask him.