Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Sarah, I assume you will “inspect” the male models at RT to see their best view - front or back!

I’d just like to point out that Mr Darkness Unknown is going to cut his hand if he holds his sword like that….

SB Sarah: You need another poll for hairy vs. hairless chests (or fronts sides).

I am all for the whole hairless back thing. And my own personal preference runst to smooth chests on any day. But the whole romance novel cover obsession with hairless metrosexual mantitty is a pretty narrow approach to the aesthetics of the manly torso.

Honestly, it’s like an icecream shop that only offers vanilla…

Depending on the degree of natural furriness, all that epilated, depilated, waxed flesh is primarily a testament to raw willpower, perseverance and a super-human pain threshold.

I’m a big fan of muscular male torsos. Front, back, side. So long as there’s less hair than a gorilla I’m happy.

Is it cheating to post one of my own covers? I don’t care: I spent hours staring at my inbox when this baby arrived in it. Even if he is gauche enough to display his cranium (I dunno, epublishers eh?).

I have a hard time not snickering every time I see the Atlantis Unleashed cover.  Waaaay too Freudian. ;) 
None of the covers on my books have nearly naked men, but I’m still pleased with them.  The guys are all hunks, and the models “fit” the heroes.  My vote on back vs. chest is “indifferent.”  A nice looking guy is handsome from all angles.

I was ready to come down firmly [with massage oil] on the side of chests [mainly for their proximity to abs and hips] until the Darkness Unknown cover. Dag! I love when a man’s back muscles do that hot pinchy-thing between their shoulderblades. God bless you, male models. Now come over and do some shirtless weeding for me, please.

Hair is a big issue here.  I am not a fan of the waxed chest but neither do I like a complete gorilla.  So, although I can appreciate the value of a nice chest, there are just too many potential pitfalls for me.

Now, on backs, I like them all - hairy, hairless, tattooed…  So I vote back.  Especially when you can imagine yourself stroking a finger down the spine…

I totally take your point about arms though.  I would be drooling over a cover that had a good forearm display.

Nakey men on covers can be a bit much and overdone, but as eye candy, I like ‘em all.  Hot bod is hot bod.  But looking at all these covers lately, I now realize I do have a slight preference for the back shot.  That Cole cover, oh yes please.  Her “Pleasure of a Dark Prince” cover was smokin’ also (so much better than the covers of the beginning of the IAD series, that’s for sure).

I do like a clothed front view as a change of pace from the mantitty.  Think Lora Leigh’s “Maverick”, “Dangerous Games”, and the upcoming “Renegade.”  And Brockmann’s upcoming “Infamous.” Good chest in a tight tee is mighty nice, and puts the emphasis on the sexy arms.

I prefer lean, muscly arms, like Jared Padalecki:

http://bestof.provocateuse.com/show/jared_padalecki

I’m with Ros all the way - I’m not a big fan of the waxed chest, but too much chest hair can make the guy look like a throwback.  A nice muscular back, all the way! 

But allow me to raise a pet peeve.  I personally would like to see more realistic-looking tattoos on both cover guys and gals.  Real tattoos fade into the skin a bit over time, and I think too many cover tatts look like rub-on temps or Photoshop afterthoughts.  YMMV.

I was considering getting this one just for the cover:

http://charlottefeatherstone.net/books.html

Charlotte Featherstone’s Sinful. I think it’s the back/breeches combo.

I’m in the back camp.  The whole waxed look is too narcissistic for me, but I agree that there’s a fine line between hot & manly and neanderthal.  No matter whether they show the front or back view, gotta have great arms and shoulders. 

Love this guy!  His chest is a bit overdone, but that little flash of back and bootay is totally droolworthy.
http://www.jasminejade.com/popup.aspx?src=images/Product/large/9781419910852.jpg

Oops!  I forgot to mention his very best feature.  Check out those arms!  Definitely works for me.  Ay caramba!

Just a comment on the covers shown in general—I don’t think the images would have been totally out of place on a Sword and Sorcery novel from the 80’s whose target audience would probably have been young males. 

The headless thing is also interesting.  Considering how many mistakes can occur when a head is photoshopped—which seemed to happen quite a bit for a while, it might have been safer just to leave them off.  I’m in favor of faces though.

I, too, was surprised to find that I have a slight preference toward backs.  Not that I’ll pass up a nice looking chest.  In pictoral presentations, I think I prefer the hairless look since getting the hair to look right seems to be pretty difficult. Often it looks like the guy has some dirt or something funky going on when there is some hair action.

@Tamara, I hear you on the tattoos. They often look too fresh or crisp or something.  They just don’t look quite real on many covers.

I’m a fan of chest and muscle. I wish I could keep this guy on my desktop at work. I think heads get cropped because they can reuse the shot in different covers, but I was happy to get a hero with a face.

I think heads get cropped because they can reuse the shot in different covers, but I was happy to get a hero with a face.

That, plus it’s damn near impossible to get a cover model who looks exactly like your hero—whether you’re the author or the reader!

Bare, smooth chests remind me of my first kiss. It was at the river. He had windswept red hair and giant blue eyes… and he was 13. LOL!

I choose backs because artists either show completely bare chests or a double-plush shag carpet tacked to the poor guy.

Really, hair is not so scary. Most of the time it doesn’t look as if it’s about to eat Manhattan…

Straight guy here, so while I can manage some detached aesthetic appreciation for men, they never give me that little twist in my heart.(definitely back though) My own pet peeve is the too slick, I’ll take some freckles and a crooked smile over airbrushed pornstar globes any day.

Yuck to both. Like I said before, I do not like men built like that. They gross me out. I like my men built more like Barry Manilow. Seriously. That’s the kind of physical build that turns me on.

It’s the eyes of a man that gets me every time. That look of wisdom and intelligence, with a touch of boyish mischief some men have. The right look and my knees become jelly.

Do Alexis Morgan’s and Kresley Cole’s covers feature the same model?  Maybe my eyes deceive me though.

You see, I may be at a minority here when I say I prefer my male cover models to have their shirt on, but open to reveal that tantalizing teasy taste of mantitty. Give us some imagination to use of what he will look like as he shrugs it off, revealing the meal, or what gift you will receive once you unwrap the package! (oh hee hee…)

Its even better when the shirt is all rumply, with the collar akimbo, sleeves rolled up… with that, you have a salivating romance reader on your hands over here. *rowr*

There is nothing sexier than a man with a come-hither look on his face, walking towards you with a shirt half undone and awesome thigh-hugging jeans… yes, jeans help too….

*fans self*

Me likey backs! Some chests are good too. But more often than not the pictures with chests look like they need to be wearing a bra….

I voted for both and agree that the nice muscular arms are pleasant too.  I will say if forced to choose, I’d have gone with backs.  The problem for me with the front can be the belly button.  In the 2 Atlantis books with front shots up above, I don’t care for the belly buttons on the models.  With Atlantis Unleashed it is the primary part I notice.  Then I look around and see the rest of him which looks awesome. Then I read the comment that makes me realize the sword is at such a “Freudian” angle that I too snicker. ;)

I almost voted for chests because of cover#1. It was nice to see a cover model who wasn’t caucasian for once. One of my gripes is most of the heroes (and heroines) of most novels are nearly always white. I’m not hating on anybody but a little diversity couldn’t hurt. There’s people of all colors and cultures out there and I see interracial couples and families in real life. Just like to see a little of it reflected in books.

I voted for backs all the way, but I have to ask:

@Nara Malone, is he naked with a whisk?

I’m with Caroline further up the thread: actually, I prefer a guy with the shirt on. ;) I’m a bit of an old-school classicist that way—give me oh, say, Indiana Jones in a rumpled khaki shirt, sleeves rolled up, collar open a few buttons to bare the throat to the sun… yum. <3

Sigh….yum….

What? Did I miss something?

I’m with the ladies who don’t really care for the overly waxed chest look, so I tend to prefer backs.  I also prefer the bodies of men (#3 & 5) who are grown men, not 21 year old gym kids with perfect everything.

Oddly, I also don’t mind the headlessness of the covers, just because I like projecting what I think the hero looks like instead of taking someone else’s word for it.  When I saw Karen Moning’s photo of the actor that inspired Jericho Barron’s, I was like “What?!?  No way, that’s not what he looks like!”  Ha!

Cris - which actor inspired JB?  I’ve never been able to get a good pix of him in my mind!!

Where are the covers showing only muscular legs is what I want to know.

I usually prefer backs to chests, but I love cover #1 because it includes that sexy crease where leg meets torso.

I usually prefer backs to chests, but I love cover #1 because it includes that sexy crease where leg meets torso.

That my friend is called the Polyclitus girdle in art history . . . Polyclitus being the first sculptor to figure out how to accurately portray that bit of anatomy.

And yeah, I’m a huge fan.

J, his name is Eric Etebari.  I’m not good at attaching photos, but if you search Google images, you’ll see what I mean.  Too young, too pretty, bleh.

J, let me correct myself.  Wikipedia says he’s 40, so definitely not too young, but the photos I found made him look so.  Either way, still not my idea of JZB.

Backs, chests — both fine.  But vast expanses of totally smooth, polished skin on a muscular adult male really bother me.  I start to speculate on whether the bloke also shaves his pubes.
I detest tattoos in any context, whether they look ‘realistic’ or not.  Just ...  ugly.

Cris - I agree - he’s pretty, but not harsh enough to be JB - I could not tell you who is, but I know who isn’t!!

I never realized before now that I am a back girl. I think this might be because I get too distracted by overly large boobs on a man, odd looking belly buttons, and the general headlessness. A man doesn’t have to be built like a tank to have a beautiful back…

Regarding hair on the chest… I don’t like the waxed look because I have a friend who is quite buff and waxes and after seeing him in the pool ONE time between waxings, EWWW! I also don’t like the gorilla look, but a little hair on the upper chest and then the trail to happiness (OH MY!), perfection. Of course, I could be basing this on my model of perfection which is husband so take it with a grain of salt. :)

I like them all. Strangely, I’m most drawn to the last cover because of the guys eyes.

Also, I love Cat Marster’s cover. He looks so unlike a romance hero.

OMG!  I’m so torn.  I love me some hot male belly buttons.  for some reason drool over washboard in-ies and absolutely love the elusive outies also.

BUTT, or but as the case may be, there is something about a man’s back that makes me want to just go up to them and bite their shoulder blades.  And don’t even get me started on that of-so-sensitive soft area just below the ribs and before the love handles.  :0)

STOP!! I’m at work with many hours until I can get home alone!!

Security word = miss37…....  Ummmm screw you, I’m only 34!

I voted for the back view simply because the hairless, oiled chests are icky, yes, icky.  I either feel like I’m lusting after a kid to young to grow hair or a plastic mannikin.  Please, a little hair arrowing down to his package is REALLY nice.

I’m ready for male models who look like real men (who happen to be in shape because of their normal physical exertion), not body-builder gym types. I’m so over man-titty. I wouldn’t mind a cover with a man who doesn’t have a six-pack, who has muscle but isn’t bulging with it, who is in good shape physically but doesn’t look like he spends all day in a gym getting there. I think thats one reason why I prefer the back view-I don’t have to see weird bulgy muscle. Plus, I’m not a fan of men who shave their bodies, so I don’t like smooth hairless chests. (I also don’t want porn star hairy chests from way back when. Just a normal amount of hair, please.) And where’s my damn happy trail???

Oh, I like them all. Give me a well-muscled back, a nicely formed chest, a lickable set of abs, that oh-so-sexy bit of hip, a good close up of some killer eyes… whatever. I’m not picky. It’s the merits of the individual shot and composition that work for me.

Having perused those, I apparently go for backs.  This is probably because I personally don’t go for that overly muscular, built look in men which is what the front views usually portray.  A strong back is much more appealing to me.

I have to defend the men who naturally don’t have much in the way of chest hair here; I much prefer that look to a hairy chest.

I have to defend the men who naturally don’t have much in the way of chest hair here; I much prefer that look to a hairy chest.

Thank you! Not all men have to wax to have a smooth chest. Plenty of English/Irish/Scottish/Native American/African/Asian men out there with chests that are basically hair-free. Trust me. I’m describing my family and pretty much every man I’ve seriously dated.

Appomattoxco, he is so unlike a romance hero! Definitely one of my favourites to write.

Like some other folks here, I was surprised to discover a preference for back shots by looking at these covers. It might have to do with the mystery—seeing a sexy back makes me want to know what is going on in front.

Mmmm why choose. Heck I did buy the book for this cover alone. http://www.jasminejade.com/images/Product/medium/9781419960710.jpg
Well the fact that it had cowboys, lawmen, Navy Seals, and a menage didn’t hurt a bit either! :)

I voted for back. 

But any of theses covers are great because there is no chest or back hair.

What’s the old joke?  What’s the last thing you heard before the pubic hair hit the ground?  pfft! 

That’s how I feel about chest/back hair—I don’t want to be spitting it out if it gets caught in your teeth/mouth during a romantic nuzzling moment.

I voted for both, because while i like backs, sometimes a fine well developed set of abs really does it for me.  But the arms show very nicely I think in the back shots, especially with a little bondage a la Kresely Cole.

especially with a little bondage a la Kresely Cole.

Is a biceps manacle the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen, or is it just me? How the heck is that suppose to hold anyone who isn’t Popeye? Sometimes I just don’t *get* what the heck the cover artists are thinking.

I like it all. Back, chest, six-pack, muscles. Ahhh.

Men.

Mmmm.

Hm..  I always thought I was a torso gal anyway so this back vs. chest is a conundrum.  I must say that I like cover #1 and Brenda Joyce’s “Dark Lover” for the tops of their pelvic bones.
http://mastersoftimebooks.com/images/cda/ian_cda.jpg

But if I were to choose, I’d take backs because a guy can have an awesome back even if he has a little potbelly in front.

Thank you ladies! I had the most unbelievably horrendous morning & you’ve made me laugh out loud for the first time today. Special thanks to Kalen Hughes. I admit that as much as I loves me a nice back I often just want to be able to lick that Polyditus Girdle. And now I know what to call it. Ahhhh blood pressure returning to normal for the first time today.

Total55. Yeah, if I could’ve, I would’ve bitch slapped my ignorant twat coworker at total of 55 times this morning.

So not to be whiny here, but am I the only one who prefers a pair of good looking eyes rather then backs or chest?

  I usually prefer backs to chests, but I love cover #1 because it includes that sexy crease where leg meets torso.

That my friend is called the Polyclitus girdle in art history . . . Polyclitus being the first sculptor to figure out how to accurately portray that bit of anatomy.

And yeah, I’m a huge fan.

That’s the “Inguinal Ligament”.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inguinal_ligament

Yup, it’s a good part.  :D

I voted back. The chests on book covers tend to be too pretty and buff for me. And the waxed look? Just… no.

I’m not really on either side, but should be. Afterall, both of my books out this month feature dark-haired heroines gazing over the shoulder of the hero as they finish pulling the shirt off of said bare-chested hero. Go figure.

If photographed, I prefer headless models of both genders. No matter how the author describes their protagonists, by the end of the book I have my version of what they look like in my head, and covers that contradict that bother me. I do miss the old painted covers, though. Paintings are more open to interpretation.

You lost me when it showed the title “Jewels of Atlantis” right over the man’s crotch.

But front, all the way

Ah, do I have to choose?  T_T

Really, I think I prefer back covers.  Or side-covers, like the one from Ellora’s cave posted above.  Yum, yum, yum!  Some of it is model preference - I actually like guys who have that scruffy, hair brushed chest kinda look.  It would be less of an urk if all of the models weren’t so smooth and shaved.  Just don’t look right.  And a treasure trail is also nice too, lol.  But again, personal preference here.

...

Either way, I end up staring at them, so I guess they do their job.  And FYI, I really like these two ebook covers lol.  The models are hot, and they are a little different from normal ones.  I always love to read these cover comments posts - you guys are the pee-your-pants funny that the literary world needs.

That’s the “Inguinal Ligament”.

Yea!!! Another name for it. I love having more options. Thanks, Shira!

Team Chest W/Actual HAIR ON IT!! I HATE this waxed look. It’s downright creepy. I don’t want a werewolf, but a little hair would be very sexy.

http://www.carolynjewel.com/books/book_detail_indiscreet.php

I tried to paste the photo but couldn’t, so here’s hoping the link works.  If not, you can always copy and paste the address.  I like men from both the front and the back, but the cover of Carolyn Jewel’s Indiscreet has one of the best backs ever.  Thought the female model’s pose looked contrived, but I swoon every time I see that man.

A bit off subject but I had to share this photographer’s work for a chocolate company… Looks like great romance covers to me!

http://www.behance.net/Gallery/The-Quintet-of-Passion/497144?utm_source=Triggermail&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Instant

I love the old chest hair debate! Whenever I get a new copy of the RWR my hairy-chested husband goes through looking for the romance novel ads with covers, his monthly quest for Dolphin Boy, and sometimes (often, lately) Dolphin Boy the Vampire. He never has trouble finding him, either—freakishly smooth men are definitely the current style (though it will cycle out again once our culture gets bored with its ubiquity, then come back in another forty years, just like hats and mustaches and perms and shudder, stirrup-pants). Personally I don’t care either way about chest hair—unless it clearly cost the man time and money to cull or coif it or it’s long enough to be cornrowed—but out of marital solidarity, I side with the virile lumberjacks.

I picked both in the poll. All the covers are very nice! But maybe I lean more towards chest’s since then you can see their faces too. I loved them all!

I have to agree with several above post that it is really all about the hair issue. Up until I saw this I hadn’t realized I was a “Team Back’ girl. I really think its because the chests are always waxed and oily which just says ‘gay porn’ to me, a complete turn off for this straight lass.

Who or what is Dolphin Boy? I must know!!!

Having an unclothed male on the cover is missing the whole point of romance, I think. It’s as if the people deciding on covers are taking a male point of view (which is to see the feminine form) and assuming that this is what females want as well. Sure, we love a buff male body but this is not what draws women to romance. We want to be adored, pampered, challenged, inspired and seduced. Many of us require this through our minds, spirits and emotions before it gets to the nether regions. I am suspicious of muscular male covers, suspecting these specimens come from the gay community where buff is the epitome. I say, give us a break from the male point of view (not that I don’t love men) and give us publishers who truly understand the feminine heart and spirit.

I’m thinking a Dolphin Boy would be the incredible hairless man, able to glide without resistance through the waves. And is it just me or is anyone else missing the happy trail? You can take manscaping too far.

@Marlyne - Some women like buff. But not me! Give me tall and scrawny/lanky over buff any day!

@Kalen Dolphin Boy is my husband’s name for any of the freakishly hairless romance novel cover dudes—have wax, will model. So smooth they glisten…

I voted for both, but I’m not generally attracted to the nekkid torsos or backs on novel covers.  They usually look like they got that way by pumping iron.  The guys who turn my head have a swimmer’s or a dancer’s body—strong and sleek, rather than defined and lumpy.  Hair is not a huge issue, but I’m not crazy about shiny fronts or fuzzy backs.  i just really hate the blockish, hugely muscled body type that almost seems to have corners.  And that popping vein thing—double yuck!

IMHO, those are terrible examples of chests. The third guy looks like Willem Dafoe. Ugh. Maybe it’s just the lighting, I dunno. That’s why I voted for the back.

I voted “Neither” because I’m sick of sides being labeled as teams.

I’d just like to point out that Mr Darkness Unknown is going to cut his hand if he holds his sword like that….

Nobody’s paying him to be smart, just to look good.

I LOVED Kiss of the Demon King! I prefer Backs. Theres something about a sexy, muscular back that makes me all jelly in the knees.
:D

HAIRY CHESTS!! Please?!!? Pretty please with sugar on the top?

Some of us get extremely turned on by the sight of a hairy male torso.

Ahem…

Exhibit A : http://www.still-flying.net/images/jaynestown/index.php?image=jaynestown028.jpg

YUM!