Bitchin' Blog Posts
: Pirates
May 17, 2012 | Thursday | 86 Comments
I received the following book rant from Nali, and it's totally over The Top and back down the other side of The Top and climbing back up again. But this time - there is book rant challenge! I challenge you to guess which book this is? I'll give you a hint: it was published in the late 70s, and when I read this, I remembered reading it, and remembered the highfalutin' hilarity therein. Hang on, folks. It's wild. I am so glad I found your site this week. The timing, it was Serendipitous, falling into place with the convenient ease…
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August 08, 2011 | Monday | 26 Comments
I received the following guest review submission from Betty Fokker while I was working on my own review for the book. So I’ve included both here for your reading pleasure. No, no, don’t thank me. It’s that Fokker’s fault. Making Waves is about a surly, pissed off guy named Alex who is screwed over by the company he’s worked at for years. Those pensions-worth-nothing, sorry-you’re-broke, nothing to show for decades of labor stories? He’s one of those, along with his crew of former coworkers who (a) also got screwed over and (b) know, much like Alex, that the big boss…
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January 09, 2011 | Sunday | 38 Comments
Ali writes in with a romance she’s lost and hopes to find again: I have had a book in my possession that has moved with me several times, and been there for me in my darkest moments. Now, said book is nowhere to be found. For the love of Merlin’s beard, I can’t find it, I can’t remember the title or author, and the names of the heroine/hero escape me. You may be asking yourself, “How in the holy hell can I help this bitch out?”. Well, I’ll give you as much as I can about this book, and hope…
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November 11, 2010 | Thursday | 140 Comments
Well. That was…unpleasant. I’m done with the 1970s-early 1980s OG Old School. That was one of the most unpleasant reading experiences I’ve ever had, and I read The Phantom of Manhattan. I finished it because I was kind of interested in where this story would end (and how much shit can be heaped upon the head of the heroine), and I have a finely developed case of trainwreck syndrome. (Also, my copy didn’t stink, so that helped.) I’m having a really hard time coming up with a Letter Grade, because I’ve read worse, and I’ve read better. I had a…
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November 21, 2009 | Saturday | 19 Comments
Yay! From Kristan Higgins: Happy Ever After cliches from movies. My hair is curly and wild when I’m in love! You have a secret cabin (Yes, what is UP with the secret cabin hidden in the woods as a shorthand for secret sensitivity [he likes trees!] and need for isolation [poor lonly man]?)! This cracked me up. More Yay! From Rhea, a link to Sarah Rees Brennan, YA Author, who does a summary of the kickass heroines she’s found in romance of late: Goddess of the Hunt by Tessa Dare LUCY: Hello Jeremy here I am at your door! JEREMY:…
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November 17, 2009 | Tuesday | 16 Comments
Jane Litte, Angela James, Malle Vallik and I are quoted in an amazing article about romance readers and digital books. Here’s the catch: much like a book that rocks in the content but makes you cringe in embarrassment at the cover, you must skip past the headline to get to the good part. Well, no, you can’t really skip it because it’s the first thing you see, so let’s get to that first: When it comes to format, romance readers are promiscuous Just like authors have no control the cover art or titles of their books, journalists have little control…
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October 17, 2009 | Saturday | 54 Comments
Bitchery reader Kelly writes: I was working a double (afternoon shift then night shift) and had nothing to do so I read the romance novel left in the desk drawer. I HATED it. But, I figured if something that fucking bad was published there had to be better stuff out there. In any case, I was hooked because, as you know, there was waaaaaay better stuff out there. Thank you, Julie Garwood, Laura Kinsale, yeah, and Johanna Lindsey. Go figure, the worst book I ever read is what made me a fan for life - it’s been 18 years since…
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June 01, 2009 | Monday | 71 Comments
Every night before bed this week I’ve read a few pages of Lora Leigh’s Maverick. I picked it up partly because I know for many readers, her books are Teh Cracke, and because she’s a huge seller in contemporary erotic romance. Plus there’s SEALs and muscular badasses with semi-automatic weaponry in their trousers, plus an actual firearm if they’re carrying, and I’m a total fangirl of law enforcement characters of both genders. The problem with Maverick is that I read a few pages and bust out laughing - not “Ha ha! That was hilarious dialogue!” laughter but “Wait, are you…
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March 15, 2009 | Sunday | 12 Comments
If you received your issue of Romantic Times magazine, you may have noticed Smart Bitches were inside. We’re in ur magazine, talkin’ ‘bout Pirates! It’s true: Elissa Petruzzi did a marvelously fun interview with us, and we’re in the “RT Bookshelf” section of the April 2009 issue. We talk about sexuality, pirates, the economy, our book, our site, and pirates. I thought it turned out terribly well, and as usual Candy cracked my ass up. Romantic Times generously gave us permission to host a PDF of the interview over here at Bitchery HQ, so if you’d like to read it,…
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March 06, 2009 | Friday | 34 Comments
This is five minutes of hilarious win. If you turn on the “described video for the visually impaired” feature on PBS movies, and add commentary, it’s just epic.
Stay away from impressively large masts, is all I’m saying.
[Thanks to Denise Shaw for the link.]
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October 24, 2008 | Friday | 34 Comments
Thanks to Joanne, the allure of the pirate, it falters in the face of these costumes. It’s one week until Halloween, and time for a little game I like to call, ¿Quién es más faygele?
This Guy.
That Guy.
That Other Guy.
Dude.
Yarr! Take your pick!
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July 24, 2008 | Thursday | 51 Comments
I have a stack of book covers to get through, each one more awesome than the next - and by “awesome” I mean “so searingly neon in color and utterly bizarre in artistic construct that I can only gape and wish with a naughty part of myself that there were more covers on the market now that looked like these, if only for the sake of hilarity.” Or something like that.
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June 04, 2008 | Wednesday | 10 Comments
John Lennon once wrote a love letter to his first wife, Cynthia, in which he said, “I love you…. I love you like guitars.” *sigh* Gets me every time. Elizabeth has a similarly musical love scene in her quest to find a lost book, and hopes you can help: I was hoping the Bitchery could help me identify one of the first romance novels I ever read. It involves a woman who is kidnapped by a pirate who mistakenly believes her to be wealthy. When she first meets him, she nearly faints from hunger because he has a loaf of…
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