Bitchin' Blog Posts
: Legs
January 03, 2011 | Monday | 135 Comments
While I was gazing at my own navel the other day (and the stretch marks along side of it) I started thinking about where my own standard of beauty originated, and how the romances I read may have influenced my concept of the female ideal. What, you don’t think about that while getting dressed? OK, it was more along the lines of, “My chest wouldn’t fit in a single one of those bodices without ripping,” but that spun out into standards and ideals. I think there’s good and bad parts to the female standard in romance novels. Among the good…
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October 25, 2010 | Monday | 62 Comments
Oh, it’s a beautiful thing when food imagery is used in sex scenes. It’s all 9 1/2 Weeks spliced together with Iron Chef - wouldn’t that be the very best in a sensual interlude? Unless we’re talking snack foods, as Kathleen discovered: Thank you for pointing out the Books on the Knob website. I have had a lot of fun downloading the free ebooks. One of these was The Bite Before Christmas by Heidi Betts. In the story “All I Vant For Christmas”, I read something that belongs in the “The What Not to Write” category. Sex linked with food…
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July 23, 2010 | Friday | 8 Comments
That’s right - you win nosehair! Just kidding. While I wish I could give away legless levitation with glowing ass powers, alas, my powers are limited to a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of the winner’s choosing for winning the Caption That Cover: Nosehair Edition contest, featuring one of the very worst covers I’ve seen in a long time. Honorable mentions: redcrow for “glittery anus” Nadia for “In a world where their love is only limited by her supply of those little Tabasco packets you get at Chick-Fil-A, together they…Wait for Dusk!” Castiron for “She’s a rare example of…
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October 02, 2009 | Friday | 11 Comments
Tiffany remembers the cover, but not the title - and is this one humdinger of a cover, too I don’t know if this is asking the impossible….but I am looking for a book that I read about 12 years ago, and I have no idea what it is called or who wrote it. I only remember the picture on the cover (and very little of the story, which is why I wanted to reread it). I remember that it was a pretty sexual story (which is why when I googled the stuff I remembered I found your blog!). Anyway, the…
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March 07, 2009 | Saturday | 28 Comments
All hail the wondrous things about Wisconsin. There are many. And not just the Packers and cheese. Evidence: The University of Wisconsin Milwaukee Library Nurse Romance Cover of the Week collection. Like nurse romance cover illustrations, with absurdly long, lithe, and monochromatic legs? This is your Mecca. I’m particularly fond of catwalking Luxury Nurse and the unnaturally-pigmented Redheaded nurse. [Thanks to Mary for the link.] Speaking of libraries, this Smithsonian magazine article about library special collections, which mentions the above Love Nurse Collection, is fascinating. (Also, I think “Tobacciana” would be a great name for a heroine set in a…
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January 30, 2009 | Friday | 28 Comments
Another snarktastic chapter-by-chapter account by Li’l SBiT Patrick. I know many of you are reading along with Patrick - how are you liking the book so far? Being a bit of a blow-by-blow by SBiT Patrick, Part the Second: Chapters 3 through 5 Chapter 3: The Bluestocking Does Some Blue-Balling “Dain felt extremely reluctant to enter any room with a fille de joie, which created a serious problem, since he was just fastidious enough to dislike having a female in a reeking Parisian alleyway.” For over a week after his first encounter with Jessica, Dain has been unable to get…
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October 27, 2008 | Monday | 29 Comments
From Karen D come some fine, fine specimens of old-skool Silhouette cover art. We give thanks to Karen, and to the used book store romance pile from which she rescued these cultural icons.
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August 22, 2008 | Friday | 62 Comments
This week: costume drama, as in ‘How much drama do costume portrayals like these cause among those who, you know, do research?’ Sarah: Between the ruffles and the puffy sleeves and the vest, I had to giggle. The ice dancing puff-shouldered heroine was worth a snort, too. But the incredibly bendy legs of the horse? Oh, holy shit. Candy: Miss Manners on graceful abduction-on-horseback etiquette: “Gentle abductee: The new rage when being pulled off your feet by frilly-shirted men on horseback is to struggle for freedom, but it seems to Miss Manners that this new development lacks a certain couthness…
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August 11, 2008 | Monday | 25 Comments
Several people have emailed me about Gaia online, which Jennifer says is like “mangagied Second Life game for tweens.” Already I am mystified and sure that my description will get something wrong, so feel free to correct me. Seems their August promotion, or collectible, is all about romance novels. Old skool romances, with all the accompanying tropes and stereotypes therein. If you’re a Gaia participant, you can star in your own romance novel with their ‘Lusty Scoundrel:’ Stand in front of a beautiful sunset with a swooning hunk or maiden by your side, then butter yourself up so that every…
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July 19, 2008 | Saturday | 44 Comments
The Art of Romance will be a book – thank heavens! My coffee table has a burp rag, some clickers, a graham cracker, and a copy of Bar Mitzvah Disco, but does it have a paperback collection of the visual history of Mills & Boon romance covers? No! It is lacking! Oh, the sorrow! The woe! You can order your own copy of the book, which is due out October 2008. It traces the development of the genre and provides a visual history of one of our favorite elements, the cover art. Thanks to BB for the link. And if…
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July 08, 2008 | Tuesday | 22 Comments
Bitchery reader Rina says, “Help, please?”
I have a pretty good memory for the plot, but I’m totally at a loss for the title or author.
I got it from the library when I was about 10 years old, so it would have been published in the 1980s or earlier. Would be given a G-PG rating (no sex at all, IIRC), but was written for adults. Hardback, fairly thick, green or blue cover, female author.
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June 16, 2008 | Monday | 50 Comments
Thanks to Kay Webb Harrison, I have more pink shoes news from Hampton Roads, Virginia. In a follow up article published in the Virginian-Pilot yesterday, editor Joyce Hoffmann took a look at the scandal du footwear, and talked to The Owner of Those Hot Pink Shoes, Candice Knilans, as well as the photographer who shot the image. And you know me - I’m a total sucker for behind-the-scenes info. She “wanted to look dazzling,” according to the report, for her husband, who was deployed to Iraq six months after they were married. For those who questioned whether the shoes matched…
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June 12, 2008 | Thursday | 157 Comments
But this time, not on a book cover. Try the front page of a newspaper. Bitchery reader Kay Web Harrison thoughtfully sent me both the picture and the follow up letters that line up on either side and either cry, “Yay for teh sexy!” or “Down with the sexism!” So have a look: this photo by Rich-Joseph Facun (additional popup copy here in case that link breaks) ran on the front page of the Virginian Pilot with the caption, “Candice Knilans waits for her husband, Petty officer 3rd Class John Knilans, to disembark from the carrier Harry S. Truman… after…
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May 13, 2008 | Tuesday | 21 Comments
Bitchery reader Paul did some mad Photoshop action on the hot stepping leg model, and look at what he came up with: I did some quick Photoshop work to test your theory about the leg model and the trenchcoat. You’re 100% right, it’s the same model. See attached (I cut off the left leg, changed its angle, adjusted for the same skin tone, and then filled in the gaps). The “Girl’s Guide” cover designer had a few more changes - impossibly flat toes in those new stilettos, and softer muscle definition on the legs. Now, aside from the fact that…
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May 12, 2008 | Monday | 8 Comments
Bitchery reader Joanne sent me this fascinating link, which she found hunting for information regarding our curiously Photoshopped (maybe) leg model of pink flippy skirtdom. A leg model reveals the behind-the-scenes action, and discusses photo shoots and imperfections. Fascinating. I still strongly suspect that our model is the same, with the leg moved over and the trenchcoat Photoshopped on top of the skirt - which would account for the strange angle at which that skirt is blowing - but I still haven’t found any proof. Either way, I still can’t walk like that without falling flat on my face. And…
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