Bitchin' Blog Posts
: Doc Turtle
September 23, 2009 | Wednesday | 39 Comments
Could it be? Why, yes! It’s a summary of Chapters 41 through 44 of J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover! Howdy all! It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had a chance to sit down and snark on a few more chapters of Ward’s much-vaunted vampire tome. (I blame my tenure packet, due in a little over a month to my department Chair.) I need to get back in the saddle and ride on through these last chapters, as there aren’t many left. These last few chapters are for the most part short, silly, and incredibly oy-inducing. I hope y’all enjoy. Chapter…
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August 20, 2009 | Thursday | 48 Comments
Chapters 31 through 35 of J. R. Ward’s Dhark Lover, as told by DocTurtle We’re finally more than halfway through this beast of a book, and the action’s picking up. What’s in store for us yet? As I look back over these chapters (please remember that I long ago finished reading the book), I find myself worrying that I may run out of things to snark: how many times can you make fun of sentence structure, silly names, and overblown product placement? Then I realize that here and there are scattered pockets of comedic wonderfulness, hiding in the pages of…
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August 19, 2009 | Wednesday | 58 Comments
My Date with a Vampire continues as we pass directly through the dark, dark center of J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover! Chapter 26: Sex + exposition = sexposition As this first chapter of the second half of Ward’s novel begins, Beth and Wrath wrap up their first dinner date with dessert: “Whole strawberries on a gold-rimmed plate. Some chocolate on the side to dip them in. A little cookie.” And not one of them with a corporate sponsor! How sad. Wrath takes especial pleasure in feeding Beth a strawberry, even as she questions him about his whereabouts and goings-on from the…
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August 13, 2009 | Thursday | 30 Comments
Chapters 21 through 25 of J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover Almost halfway through this sucker. Time to put on my shitkickers and wrap-around Ray-Bans and dive into the next set o’ chapters… Chapter 21: This chapter brought to you by TBS, and by Sam Adams, America’s World Class Beer™ “I’m Tohrment, a friend of Wrath’s. You can call me Tohr.” Yup, Tohr’s stopped by to keep Beth company and to keep an eye on her. (For those of you who are fans of the Western-footwear-whose-name-shall-not-again-be-written: Tohr’s rockin’ ‘em.) Wrath’s most comfortable with Tohr keeping tabs on Beth because Tohr’s deeply entrenched…
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August 12, 2009 | Wednesday | 29 Comments
Chapters 16 through 20 of J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover, as filtered through the mind of a snarky mathematician Well, we’ve made it this far, folks! Shall we go on? Yes, indeed we shall! The next several chapters are filled with more action than the last several, and so they read very quickly. Chapter 16: Fill your glasses, ladies and gentlemen… …the drinking game recommences. There’s not a great deal of action in this chapter (Beth returns to Wayne Manor with Wrath while Butch curses himself for putting her in a position where harm can and almost certainly will come to…
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August 06, 2009 | Thursday | 105 Comments
Killing me softly with this tome: Chapters 10 through 16 of J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover Oy. Another six chapters. The action’s heating up and the plot takes a few odd turns, but the characters are pretty much stuck in place. There’s pretty much no characterization beyond “Beth is bold and sexy” and “Wrath is a total bad-ass.” These characters are flatter than a stretch of Interstate in Indiana. Let’s pick up where we left off… Chapter Ten: Mangled metaphors on aisle six Beth lies in bed near the end of her steamy Wrathful night. She looks over her partner dreamily.…
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August 05, 2009 | Wednesday | 39 Comments
On, on, deeper into J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover! In reading the comments to my first post on this bit of dreck I feel as though I’ve found several dozen kindred spirits. Now on Chapter 33, I’m having to backtrack a bit to keep up with the chapter summaries (but what fun they are! well worth the trouble), and I too am sick and tired of gratuitous references to gangsta rap artists (J.R., puhleeze: just because you know who Jay-Z is doesn’t mean you’re still wit’ it. Embrace your badass old school self!) and prominent product placements. Can somebody please tell…
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January 20, 2009 | Tuesday | 37 Comments
A snarktastic chapter-by-chapter account by Li’l SBiT Patrick Howdy, howdy! It’s time I get underway with my next review, of the much-ballyhooed Lord of Scoundrels. As I write these words I’m about a chapter and a half in, and already I’m afraid that there might be a little less snark in this episode: so far the book is pretty much a big ol’ loaf of awesome smothered in a rich awesome sauce. I’m liking it a lot: the writing is sharp, the characterizations subtle but effective, and the plot darkly hilarious. While the prologue had a nearly gothic overtone not…
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