Bitchin' Blog Posts
: Cover Snark
April 26, 2012 | Thursday | 43 Comments
It seems I have been looking at book covers for far, far too long. I now recognize when Ewa Da Cruz is featured on a cover, and I can almost tell the artist when I look at a picture. I'm not the only one keep track - this Pinterest board has artist and model notes, too.
But I'm beginning to think there's something seriously wrong when I can recognize the same two people from a very sexual photo shoot. Have a look - and BE YE WARNED. This is so not safe for work:
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March 26, 2012 | Monday | 34 Comments
For awhile now, on historical romance covers, we've been looking at backs, or, more specifically, women undressing from the back:
I love how all these women in historical times went around with their gowns laced over nothing. It's like the upper-body version of going commando. Boobmando!
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March 06, 2012 | Tuesday | 124 Comments
There are levels of trouble in cover art land. There's "a little trouble," like when the eyes of a cover model's face are Photoshopped a little crooked. There's "a lot more trouble" like a cover with nipples so erect that you could hang ornaments and some garlands off them. And then there's "WTFTROUBLE," which is where we are today. Brace yourself as we take a look at some covers of "Beautiful Trouble Publishing" which specializes in erotic stories, some short, some romance, some bedecked with Poser. But each one teaches something important, I think. And not just the ages-old lesson,…
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February 22, 2012 | Wednesday | 81 Comments
Last week, Jane sent me some Longarm, by which I mean she attached about six different Longarm covers to an email message and I barely remained upright. These were so bizarre, I asked her to snark them with me. But first, Jane answers the burning question, HOW DID YOU FIND THESE? Jane: I was searching Berkley published books in an effort to find some deals. I came across these. I think that there are several hundred of them published. Sarah: Yup. After doing some research, I found this Wikipedia entry which states that there is one Longarm novel published nearly every month. There…
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February 16, 2012 | Thursday | 64 Comments
Now that more of the old Loveswept romances are being re-released, I think it's time I spoke up with my one request for the Loveswept line.
If we're bringing back old Loveswept, we have to bring back the best Loveswept titles.
First, she's not actually ON the zebra.
Second, join me in having this stuck in your head: Angels on zebras and weasels on ponies...dude on the carousel's likely a brony.
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February 09, 2012 | Thursday | 34 Comments
This entry is all thanks to Heather, who cleaned out a bookstore shelf and found a treasure trove of PROGNOSTICATION. To heck with groundhogs and the weather and what's going to happen in publishing next. We need to know about the future, the weather of the distant future, the role of women in the distant future, and, most importantly, the COLOR SCHEMES of the future. And so, I happily present: Women of the Future: A coloriffic overview! (Please imagine that said in a Very Deep and Impressive Voice). Most of these books took place in the faraway future or a distant…
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December 01, 2011 | Thursday | 10 Comments
Oh, gracious. The entries for this week's Caption This Cover: Carpet Edition were the warp and weft of awesome. It was nearly impossible to narrow down the winners. I also can't believe that I blanked on the fact that we'd snarked this cover some years ago. Some things, like rugs that look like alligator heads, never age, or hang around your brain even though they totally should. So! Without futher ado, the Honorable Mentions for the Caption This Cover contest: Faellie: "He's the ideal member for your male harem, and he can cut a rug, too." Kaetrin: "Cold winter nights…
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November 29, 2011 | Tuesday | 166 Comments
Jan Oda sent me this cover, and all the possible jokes ran to the front of my brain and pushed each other like the doors just opened at Target and everything was 65% off.I'm not sure if there's been a better candidate for "Caption That Cover" - well, of course there have, but not this week! I mean, from jokes about munching carpet to whether the rug matches the drapes to what REALLY goes on in NJ, there's no shortage (heh) of opportunities here. So here we go! It's Caption That Cover time! Leave your caption in the comments,…
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November 02, 2011 | Wednesday | 107 Comments
This cover was sent to me in the email by an anonymous source. I tweeted about it last night before I had to sign off for the evening, but I had to share it with you here, too.
Why is the ass crack the most objectionable part of that image such that it had to be airbrushed shut? WHY does she have no crack?!
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October 06, 2011 | Thursday | 72 Comments
Ah, romance covers. They say so much with so little. It occurred to me recently that the perfect romance hero has pretty much been assembled through the artistic renderings of the romance cover.
Don’t think so? Have a look.
The perfect romance hero must:
Have excellent dental work
Really. We expect the finest in dentistry. (He should wipe his chin, though.)
And of course, man-titty with extraordinary buoyancy in a maritime emergency:
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September 28, 2011 | Wednesday | 10 Comments
From Patrik:
These are some AWESOME ads for books from Jashanmal Books in Dubai: I like the Harry Potter one.
From Bronwyn Parry:
Best placement of the ‘Look Inside’ arrow EVER:
Colonoscopies! Colonscopies for all!
If there’s no buttsecks in that book, someone’s going to be mighty put out.
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August 31, 2011 | Wednesday | 87 Comments
This entry was inspired by Abby, who wrote to me and implored, “go to amazon.co.uk and look up Lisa Kleypas. WHY ARE THEIR BOOK COVERS SO MUCH BETTER THAN OURS?!?!?!! I am so upset about this, it’s kind of ridiculous. They just look so much classier! It’s totally unfair.”
Is that so? Well, let’s have a look, shall we? All the pics are below the fold - but the poll, depending on the browser, may be up here.
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August 17, 2011 | Wednesday | 28 Comments
Do you see it? Do you? Huh?
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August 17, 2011 | Wednesday | 20 Comments
Something about the pocket watch… it is so subtle. It’s trying to evoke something, but what? I don’t think I have the stones to figure it out. The ponderous weight of contemplation is leaving me blank. Oh, dear. The balls are in your court now.
Graceful curtsey to Catinbody for the link to this cover.
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May 09, 2011 | Monday | 68 Comments
Teri S. sent me the following book cover, saying that it HAD to be an excellent book, what with the cover and the title. Now, I think that’s hilarious. Almost as hilarious as the couple embracing in the avocado field, which, according to the person who was looking for that book, features the tagline, “The avocado farm was going well, but who could have predicted Jane’s brain aneurysm?....” Wow. From One More Chance among the avocodos to A Flaunting Cactus, old-old-skool Harlequin titles are as much fun as the newer-old-skool titles they’ve recently stopped using. (NB: I was reading a…
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