Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

That is so cool, and more than vaguely disturbing. Happy Birthday!

Eeee, thank you so much for posting. *is honored*

OMG!  I have no idea why, but I actually went back to that post the other day…(Oh, now I remember…someone suggested the famous phrase for your LOL on the Gilded Cage cover and I couldn’t remember where it came from, though I laughed hysterically.)  Shae, you’re hilarious.  Heather, hope you had a great birthday!

really, you would think by now I would have enough common sense not to open anything on this website while I am eating/drinking. Obviously I had a brain fart and forgot.

Happy B’day Heather. Hope the Ass tasted good!!!

spamword- old35….

The look on her face is priceless: disgusted amusement. Happy Birthday!

Personally, I love Hheathher’s t-shirt, too.  :D Happy belated birthday!

Personally, I love Hheathher’s t-shirt, too.  :D Happy belated birthday!

*blushes*

I made that, too. :P

That is made of win.  If I had received such a totally awesome & yet completely disturbing gift I would have had the exact same expression on my face.

My verification is church69.  Even I would never do that in church.  Dang.

Unfortunately, Hheather doesn’t *quite* qualify for the nonplussed with a hot dog meme, weenie jokes notwithstanding.

You made that?  Dang it, I was gonna google when I got a minute.

You made that?  Dang it, I was gonna google when I got a minute.

Hehe, yep. I make a lot of shirts because its cheap and I love having customized type things. I made about 5 shirts for some friends because we are all obsessed with Dr. Horrible. Pic below, I’m on the right and the girl next to me has a V on her forehead because we went to Rocky that night. :P

http://www.richweirdoes.com/omg/albums/userpics/182/normal_L_262.jpg

Shae: do you have, like, screen printing equipment in your bathroom? You high on the funky fumes from the dye? Because, awesome.

lol, I wish. I do a freezer paper stencil and then paint on the shirt. My friend Jen made a great tutorial that shows how to do it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQLtbZh2u-w

Jeeze, I’m only getting more jealouser and jealouser.  When I’ve tried to make t-shirts they look like. . . well, they look like I ironed them on.

I’m so glad you linked to the LOLporn entry, I haven’t been reading long enough to have caught it the first time around and my morning needed a little perking up (i.e. hysterical giggling).

(And now I have have “Cousins.  Totally cousins.” from Cleolinda’s Troy In 15 Minutes in my head…)

Shae, awesome shirts!  I learned the freezer paper stencil technique a while back, and now I’m just a wee bit obsessed.  My first project was a pirate apron, and it turned out better than I could ever have anticipated.  But I had to muddle through on my own.  I wish I had known about your friend’s tutorial.

OMG! I sooo needed that this morning!

Happy Birthday Heather!

I think the Etsy seller undervalues her work—where else could you get an individually handcrafted penis that cheap—it works out to $1.50 each—or a little more than a buck a f—k.

Happy birthday, Heather!

And Shae, you aren’t, by any chance, looking for a new friend? Say one you can give awesome gifts to? Whose nick starts with “K” and ends with “alafudra”?

My friends and I always quote this article! Usually we bust it out of no where, to get the maximun “shock’n'laugh”!

Nothing fixes a bad day like “in ur ass, savin ur life”.

JennyOH:

In conclusion, cousins.

wow. that was a good morning if I’ve ever see one…

::rubs blurred vision::

LOL! You know, you should make a warning about viewing things before the first cup of coffee :D

Now I want a penis charm! WTF!?

Shae, you are so made of awesome win! And god help me, I want to go read

Decadent

now. *ties self to chair* Muussst resissssst…...

*whew* I just went back and reread the review. I no longer have the urge. Thank you, bitches, for saving me. You two are my heroines!

WOW - so you can have your ass and eat it too! Who knew?

you can have your ass and eat it too!

*dying*

Is it wrong to imagine that cake with flesh-colored frosting?  Oh, wait, I think we need a picture of the chocolate anus candy Sarah linked to awhile back!  A few accents would make that cake really…um…inedible.

Man, I am wallowing in the lowbrow humor this morning.  Sorry.  And thanks!

Is it wrong to imagine that cake with flesh-colored frosting?

It actually did have flesh colored frosting (and the crack was a tad bit darker) but for the life of me I couldn’t get it to show up properly in a picture. *curses kitchen lighting*

Cherry Coke Zero ALL over my laptop.

But it was so worth it. Hee.

Hah, when I first saw the bookmark I honestly thought the woman was screwing a raw turkey with the feet still attached.  It took a closer look at the LOLPorn to see how wrong I was!

It actually did have flesh colored frosting (and the crack was a tad bit darker)

I can see the details now, haha.  Good work!

OMG, what an awesome gift idea. What a cool friend!

I *love* that Decadent review. I’ve read it out loud to my husband and several friends, and I link to it on a regular basis. Soooo funny.

money44 - If I had money, I’d buy 44 of those bookmarks.

Shae, you must be the best friend EVER. Happy Birthday, Heather, you lucky (and obviously perturbed) gal!

Security word: been25

Why yes, Heather has been.

Shae is completely awesome. I thought I was going to die laughing as each thing was revealed.  I think the best part was that she actually went through the book and found THE scene, which is where the bookmark was placed.  You know, it’s one thing to see the horrors of it on the internet… but when you actually hold it in your hand? *shudders* It’s amazingly awful. In other words, it was the perfect birthday gift for me!

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!  And, of course, thanks for all the work you guys do with this blog!

Happy Birthday, Heather!

Great job, Shae!

Thanks, SB Sarah, for giving me a reason to re-read that most awesome comment thread, and to see the more recent additions.  (It just won’t die, will it?)  Everyone at my house uses “savin’ ur life” as code now—it’s hilarious, yet disturbing.  Yeah, that’s us.

And Candy dear, thanks ever so much for the original review.  Thank Ben again for the LOLpron—you are both teh awesome sauce!!

Happy Birthday, Heather.
Totally amazing and thoughtful gift that made me laugh all day in flashbacks…
Did anyone click on the “etsy’ link…?
There are penis charm bracelets
(As mentioned in July/August issue of PLAYGIRL magazine in Cuntry Craft Roundup)
BAHAHAHAHA

Did anyone click on the “etsy’ link…?
There are penis charm bracelets

Yes, and I want one.

That was absolutely my favorite review, EVER. You have no idea how many times I quote “I’m in ur ass, saving ur life” no matter how inappropriate it might be. I would like to nominate you for some sort of Nobel prize. I don’t know what the category would be.

What a creative gift.  I had not previously read the review for Decadent so I have to give a hearty thanks for bringing it to my attention.  Who needs sit-ups when you can read this review and get an ab workout from laughing so hard.

Is it wrong to point out that the porn star looks like a red headed Amy Poehler (from SNL).

Speaking of cake, the Bitchery *needs* to know about this site…

Cakewrecks

The SBs of the cake decorating world… [Severe Warning: DO NOT be eating or drinking anything when visiting this site. Especially not cake.]

ZOMG! So my husband, Dave-O, found me cackling over this entry when it was posted. (As a rabid fan of the LOLCats, he found the original LOLPorn story quite hilarious.)  I jokingly mentioned a penis charm bracelet might be just the thing I need to help me capture the inspirado for my naughty tales.

Well. Guess what I find in the mail today as part of my 25th birthday gifts? You guessed it. This exact penis charm bracelet. I laughed so hard I cried. Our neighbors must have thought I’d lost it. The man actually went to Etsy and searched for “penis bracelet.”

God, I love this man!