Bitchin' Blog Posts
Say “Gumpy” to Me
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | August 23, 2010 | Monday at 12:59 pm | 77 CommentsI was in the car a few days ago and the Beatles’ All You Need is Love came on the radio. My sons love the Beatles, so everyone was singing along, but I was giggling in my seat so much Hubby asked me what I was laughing at.
Of course, when you describe a book scene to someone who hasn’t read the book, the scene is NEVER as funny, but when I hear that song, I think of one of the final scenes of Julia Spencer-Fleming’s I Shall Not Want wherein a crew of folks, including the heroine, are driving away from a pot-smoke-filled crime scene, high as kites, singing that song. I laughed when I read it, and I laugh when I hear the song and think of that scene.
Vivid writing and dialogue stick in my memory like nothing else - especially from books. I’ve said before that if you mention the word “Gumpy” to me I will totally crack up - all due to this scene:
There was a loud bang, a flash erupted from the gun barrel, and the chicken carcass jumped on its plate.
“Holy mother of God!” my mother shrieked, leaping to her feet, knocking her chair over.
“Dang,” Grandma said, “guess I left the wrong hole empty.” She leaned forward to examine her handiwork. “Not bad for my first time with a gun. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy.”
One For the Money - Janet Evanovich
And then again -
“I shot a chicken once,” Grandma explained to Morelli. “It was an accident.”
I could see Morelli searching for a reply. “Where did you shoot it?” he finally asked.
“In the gumpy,” Grandma said. “Shot it clear off.”
Two for the Dough - Janet Evanovich
I love how scenes and words and moments in books can make me laugh long after I’ve finished them - even, sometimes, long after I’ve forgotten which book it was, but I remember the characters and what they said.
So what scenes in a book have made you laugh and laugh? Is there a word that makes you howl more than “gumpy?”
Filed: General Bitching, Random Musings
Tagged: writing, stephanie plum, laughter, julia spencer fleming, janet evanovich, hubby, heroine, crack, awesomesauce
Rachel D said on 08.23.10 at 02:49 PM • [link]
I still laugh out loud whenever I reread “Lord of Scoundrels” at the scene where Dain is showing Jessica the saucy pocket watch to try to shock her and she tells him she was thinking of buying for her grandma. Classic! Of course then there are the unintentionally funny bits of dialogue that can be just as memorable.
Christina said on 08.23.10 at 02:50 PM • [link]
There are certain things I associate inevitably with books ... for example, Dusty Springfield will now always remind me of the Dempsey clan from Jennifer Crusie’s “Welcome to Temptation” and “Faking It”, as will pineapple-orange juice from the latter of those two books. Not really uncontrollable laughter though, can’t think of any of those moments from off the top of my head!
Terry Odell said on 08.23.10 at 03:16 PM • [link]
The chicken scene hooked Hubster on Stephanie Plum. And of course,this mention has erased all other funny scenes from my early morning brain, but if I remember a non-Evanovich (and there have been some definite laugh-till-you-cry moments in other books), I’ll come back. But you’ve now given me the equivalent of an ear-worm, thankyouverymuch.
Terry
Terry’s Place
Romance with a Twist—of Mystery
Brianna said on 08.23.10 at 03:31 PM • [link]
I always loved a bit in ‘the Blue Castle’ by LM Montgomery, when Valency’s family are talking about a local woman who was bitten by a dog. Someone asks where she was bitten, and is told ‘near the catholic church’ (or something similar). Valency’s family can’t understand why she thinks this is funny, and don’t understand her comment of ‘is that a vital part?’
Ther
Tamara Hogan said on 08.23.10 at 03:44 PM • [link]
The opening scene of Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ “Natural Born Charmer,” when QB Dean Robillard encounters Blue Bailey alongside the road, wearing a beaver costume? OMG. Also, later in the same book, I was rolling when Blue told Dean that the expensive boots he was so proud of were probably the gayest boots she’d ever seen.
Laura (in PA) said on 08.23.10 at 04:13 PM • [link]
That beaver costumer from Natural Born Charmer makes me laugh every time I think about it. Same with the “All You Need Is Love” scene from I Shall Not Want, especially the reaction of the cops that come upon the group in the car. And, now, the turkey scene from All I Ever Wanted.
I must be a more visual person, because the words don’t stick with me, just the scene in my head.
I’m sure there are more, I’ll have to think about it. This should be fun reading these comments today.
darlynne said on 08.23.10 at 04:33 PM • [link]
I agree completely about Natural Born Charmer. Doesn’t Blue’s beaver tail get stuck in the car door, which prompts Dean to ask if she isn’t being a little hard on the beaver? Love that book.
Cat Marsters said on 08.23.10 at 04:47 PM • [link]
I was laughing myself silly this morning in the shower, just remembering a scene from Terry Pratchett’s Carpe Jugulum where Magrat’s baby is officially named. The nervous priest reads directly from a piece of paper and says: “I name you…Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre!”
I can’t even read the My God He’s Heavy the First line without erupting into mad giggles. I’m doing it now.
Stephanie said on 08.23.10 at 04:48 PM • [link]
As I was reading this post I was on hold listening to this song!!
Cat Marsters said on 08.23.10 at 04:49 PM • [link]
Hmm, that was supposed to be ‘coming over all bashful’ but you get the gist.
Carin said on 08.23.10 at 04:49 PM • [link]
The one that jumps to mind for me is “tick check” from Exclusively Yours. After we went camping my husband innocently told me we needed be sure to remember to do tick checks, which led to a lot of laughter and an explanation on my part as tick check = sex in that book.
Carin said on 08.23.10 at 04:57 PM • [link]
OH, one more. Peaches. One of the Black Dagger Brotherhood books (I think) ruined peaches for me forever.
Laura Xixi said on 08.23.10 at 05:48 PM • [link]
The phrase “the male gaze” now makes me start laughing uncontrollably, due to a scene in “The Doctor’s Perfect Match” by Irene Hannon. Or any use of the word gaze in a romantic setting.
Backgorund: I used to attend an all women’s college, where there were a fair amount of people with non-heterosexual sexual orientations. My friends and I had just picked up a bunch of LoveInspired romances to mock at a library bag sale, where we paid $5 for each grocery bag full of books (simultaneously the best and worst idea ever). The first one we started reading aloud was The Doctor’s Perfect Match, and two of us announced they would be the hero and heroine for any dramatic actions. In the first chapter, I believe the phrase “He held her with his gaze” was used, which, when read aloud, immediately translated into “He held her with his gays” for all of us; three of us got up, volunteered to be the hero’s gays, and proceeded to hold the heroine.
Unfortunately, due to uncontrollable laughter, we never got to find out if his gays met hers, or if he/she undressed the other with his/her gays. But I bet they did.
ezreader said on 08.23.10 at 06:10 PM • [link]
Whenever I see or hear the word Vaseline I crack up. It’s from one of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum books. Its the scene where the guy is naked and greases himself up to keep Stephanie from catching him. I loved that scene.
Diane/Anonym2857 said on 08.23.10 at 06:20 PM • [link]
I can never eat a bowl of Lucky Charms, or even walk down the cereal aisle, for that matter, without thinking of SEP and snickering. LOL
Ellen Brand said on 08.23.10 at 06:27 PM • [link]
For some reason, I keep cracking up at an exchange from a JD Robb short story…
Roarke: What’s the cause of death?
Eve: Vampire bite.
Roarke: What, that again?
sugarless said on 08.23.10 at 07:02 PM • [link]
Not quite the same, but I still dissolve into giggles every time I think of “Fucking her ass; saving her life”
Teri C said on 08.23.10 at 07:41 PM • [link]
Bite Me: A love story by Christopher Moore.
The whole dang book is hilarious, as previous books by Moore.
I love all the references to her stripey socks ;)
Leslie H said on 08.23.10 at 07:52 PM • [link]
I can’t see a “Beware of the Dog” sign without laughing.
On Terry Pratchett’s Discworld the sign says:
“Disproportionate Response”
I am going to call my Punk band that someday.
MissFancy said on 08.23.10 at 07:57 PM • [link]
Sarah, your “laugh til you pee” moment would be a strong DNF if not a wallbanger for me. Actually, I’m kind of wanting to wallbang my computer, but I’d regret it later.
First, you don’t shoot chickens. You chop their heads off. Yeah, still.
Second, when you shoot game birds, you don’t use bullets, you use shot. And you aim for the head, otherwise you are going to have bird meat riddled with shot—not fun to eat.
Third, shooting a bird in the “gumpy” with shot probably wouldn’t kill them. Not right away at least. It would just render the bird inedible.
Fourth, (and most important) shooting a bird (chicken, duck, goose, whatever) with a bullet would likely make them *explode*, partially or fully. You would be shooting a chicken at close range, not picking them out of the air. So, big, giant bullet hole. Go look at pictures of people who suicided by shooting themselves in the head if you don’t believe me.
Total and complete fail. Or, as I frequently shouted at “Seinfeld”, “Premise untrue=Joke not funny.”
But to answer your question, the name “Slut Binwalla” from Eddie Izzards “Englebert Humperdinck” bit makes me giggle when I think of it, as does his Sean Connery/Muttley bit.
thinking78—I’m thinking of 78 ways to murdalize writers who don’t do a lick of research in this unprecedented era of access to information. It’s seriously shameful, people. At least Cassie Edwards did some freakin’ research even if she copied it word for word and surrounded her plagairism with Vogon poetry. Yes, I said it. Writers (and I know many pros read this blog) who don’t research are worse than Cassie Edwards.
Kifah said on 08.23.10 at 08:22 PM • [link]
Hey MissFancy,
As a farm girl who’s slaughtered and plucked her fair share of chickens, yeah, head chopping is one method. hanging by the feet and bleeding is another. As to shooting - totally depends on what you shoot them with. Small caliber weapons make little holes. Being a paramedic I can also attest to gsw would of various types. Small caliber handguns - little tiny holes. Most traumatic childhood memory ever: being four years old and coming outside to find my dad and the neighbor kids killing the ducks raised for meat by shooting them with a .22. Very small hole, and basically a guy thing I think. There were a number of chickens that met their end this way too. Tasty. Apparently I fainted dead away and the very handsome Mathew Thornley carried me into the house. I swore then and there I was going to grow up and marry him. We moved away eventually, and I met him years later as an adult. YUM! I fell down his stairs looking at his butt. Sprained the crap out of my ankle. Very embarrassing. He also had a live in girlfriend who he married. Er, scenic tour.
At any rate, the chicken was already dead. “carcass on a plate”. Unless you can come up with a method of how to keep a live chicken on a plate.
teshara said on 08.23.10 at 08:52 PM • [link]
chloroform?
Kaelie said on 08.23.10 at 09:13 PM • [link]
I’m sure if I re-read the Plum series again I’d laugh hard at the scene where the garbage truck pancakes the porche. And then feel bad for said porche.
Speaking of poultry: another hilarious scene (with a frozen turkey however, not a cooked chicken), is in Blood Rites by Jim Butcher. Everytime I read it I burst into giggles. I’m giggling right now just remembering it. You can’t say that Jim isn’t imaginative in his vampire slaying techniques.
Lyssa said on 08.23.10 at 09:31 PM • [link]
Sarah, when you mentioned “all you need is love” my mind went straight to that scene..(waiting now for the next book). I would say my fav. Plumism is not gumpy, but the image of a 80+ year old woman in spandex (anytime I see such a thing I think Where is Lulu and Stephanie? Is there a funeral today?) And away from those I get snorts when my friend who is working on her doctorate in Entomology, talks about beatles, I think of the infamous Butter bug dinner in A Civil Campaign.
Laura (in PA) said on 08.23.10 at 09:47 PM • [link]
@teshara: HA!
Cat Marsters said on 08.23.10 at 09:56 PM • [link]
Superglue.
Mandy:) said on 08.23.10 at 10:04 PM • [link]
I love that you quoted Janet Evanovich. I can think of about 10 different scenes from her books that have made me laugh out loud. I’ll burst out laughing and get the craziest looks from my husband. Then when I try to explain the scene to him, he just doesn’t get it.
Donna said on 08.23.10 at 10:20 PM • [link]
Um…Kifah? MissFancy? I’m thinking you’ve totally missed the point of WHY it’s funny, and it’s not because JE was trying to accurately describe how one slaughters a chicken. Oh, well, a funny bone is a personal thing.
I’m voting for Jasper Fforde’s always clever use of language & the one that always sticks out: naming Thursday Next’s boss Braxton Hicks. Snort worthy every time I see it.
Donna said on 08.23.10 at 10:22 PM • [link]
Kifah, so sorry!! Got distracted by very funny side track & missed your wind up sentence. You obviously have a funny bone.
Miranda said on 08.23.10 at 10:59 PM • [link]
Lisa Livia’s rant in Agnes and the Hitman had me rolling: “You think SHERMAN did damage?! I’ll make him look like the fucking Merry Maids!”
Three to get Deadly by Evanovich was pretty much hilarious all the way through, with extra points where Steph and Lula put the corpse in the trunk and then tie a rag to the foot that sticks out.
Best line from Pratchett “If his body was a temple, it would be the kind where they did perverted rituals in the basement.”
Julie said on 08.23.10 at 11:04 PM • [link]
My fav Plum moment is when Bob the dog is dognapped by Habib and Mitchell. A close second is when Stephanie and Lula have a stiff in the trunk of Lula’s car and Lula has tied a red scarf to its leg as the law frowns on things hanging out unmarked. The one non Plum book funny is when Besty is informed she is a vampire in Undead and Unwed.
Beth said on 08.23.10 at 11:16 PM • [link]
Hilarious book: What Happens in London, by Julia Quinn. Probably the most hilarious book I have ever read. Cracks my shit up.
Hilarious scene: Margo and Q’s late-night adventure in Orlando in John Green’s book Paper Towns. Margo renews her friendship with Q senior year in high school and convinces him to accompany her as she seeks revenge on those who have done her wrong, like her cheating boyfriend. It is a hilarious night of sneaking around that includes dead fish, eyebrow removal, and breaking into Sea World, among other things. Totally awesome. The book is amazing.
Santa said on 08.23.10 at 11:18 PM • [link]
I always lol when I read the scene of controlled chaos catering hall scene in Jenny Crusie’s ‘Bet Me’ just before it all goes south. Ditto their frenzied efforts up until that point to kiss. That’s all. Just one kiss.
I’d also have to say that the book that makes me roar is John Updike’s ‘Say A Prayer For Owen Meany’. There’s a scene where all Owen’s friends family are carrying on in the attic. Someone is crazily sewing another person’s shirt on a sewing machine WHILE they still have it on. Owen stands there taking it all in -trying to infuse that crazy joy into himself and then he speaks in that voice like Froggy from ‘The Little Rascals’ and they all stop at once, look at him and go back to their mayhem.
I don’t know it just does it for me every time. Maybe it’s because it reminds me of my family’s antics as kids or my DH’s family who still, as we all approach middle age, STILL act that way. *shrugs shoulders* Who knows….
Santa said on 08.23.10 at 11:21 PM • [link]
And that’s John IRVING, not UPDIKE. Talk about night and day. Forgive me! Sheesh!
robinjn said on 08.23.10 at 11:34 PM • [link]
One of the very early scenes in Georgette Heyer’s Devil’s Cub when Miss Challoner is telling her cousin that she is, indeed, quite plain in looks. He, resplendent and dandified in a puce jacket assures her that oh no, he has always thought her looks quite lovely. Whereupon she gravely thanks and then states, “but then, you chose puce.”
And lest we forget the restorative jelly!
Everything Pratchett writes is brilliant. Period.
Julia Spencer-Fleming said on 08.24.10 at 12:04 AM • [link]
My ever-green funniest fictional moment is the Dinner Party from Hell in Lois McMaster Bujold (may the muses attend her!)‘s A CIVIL CAMPAIGN. It’s a fine illustration of the adage, “No plan of battle survives first contact with the enemy.” Unexpected quests arrive, the placecards are switched, interesting facts about daughters are revealed to their parents and then the butter bugs are unveiled. If you’ve never read it, you’ll be scratching your head right now, but if you love LMB (may the muses attend her!) as I do, just the phrase, “Look out! She’s getting away!” will start you laughing.
Alexis Harrington said on 08.24.10 at 12:09 AM • [link]
I don’t mean to be unusually dense, but what the hell is a “gumpy?” It sounds like some kind of adjective for Forrest Gump, i.e., “That boy is pretty gumpy.”
Julie said on 08.24.10 at 12:41 AM • [link]
As Forrest Gump would say “Right in the Buttocks”, is the gumpy.
anabear said on 08.24.10 at 12:57 AM • [link]
so to this day i remember how much i laughed at “angus, thongs and full frontal snogging” back when i was in 6th grade. there is a scene in the book where georgia has decided to dye a section of her hair blond and it goes seriously bad. anyway…she ends up talking to her crush (the “sex god” as he is called) and the chunk of blond hair falls off in her hand. how embarrassing for a teenage girl. yet wildly hilarious. louise renninson is still one of my favorite authors.
as to words that make me laugh…have to think about that.
Marianne McA said on 08.24.10 at 01:05 AM • [link]
For whatever reason it’s the scene in Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason where she’s tipsy, and writes her Christmas cards. I’ve no idea why it makes me laugh so much, but it does, every time.
(With Pratchett, it’s probably the bit in Jingo where Vimes begins arresting the armies for breaching the peace - goes something like ‘...loitering with intent, loitering within tents, Ha!...’ and then starts worrying about where he’s going to put them, because he’s only got two cells, and one of them is full of coal.)
Nicole said on 08.24.10 at 01:13 AM • [link]
LMMB’s dinner party in A Civil Campaign is fantastic.
Laura London’s Gypsy Heiress has a scene that always makes me crack up…the rakish lord is kissing “a village wench” in the forest at May Day night trying to forget the aforementioned heiress. Of course, he realizes it’s actually the woman he’s trying to stay away from, gets angry at her for being in that situation and then has a side of raw meat thrown at him by the plucky sidekick. (She and the heroine were werewolf hunting with valium-soaked beef). He is both incredulous and scathing, in equally amusing parts.
Trish said on 08.24.10 at 02:07 AM • [link]
Sugarless said
OMG! That was THE funniest book review I have ever read. In fact, I’m going to dig in the archives and read it again. I love you Sarah, but man, I miss Candy!
Tabs said on 08.24.10 at 02:43 AM • [link]
Meg Cabot frequently has me rolling on the floor in uncontrollable laughter but the scenes between Meena and the Vampire Slayer in her apartment in “Insatiable” set a new laughter pinnacle for me. When she’s standing behind him pantomiming “call the police” to her brother and he just says, without turning around, “Meena Harper. I can see you. Stop it.” Bwah. Bwahahaha.
And every time someone mentions fondant I can’t help thinking about “Agnes and The Hitman” and Agnes nonchalantly wiping the blood off the tubs. Priceless.
Alexis Harrington said on 08.24.10 at 02:51 AM • [link]
Julie said: As Forrest Gump would say “Right in the Buttocks”, is the gumpy.
Ah, now I get it—I guess I was at least in the same field of reference, sorta. This made me think of the movie Ensign Pulver in which Robert Walker, Jr. (Ensign Pulver) refers to this anatomy as “byou-tocks.”
Beth said on 08.24.10 at 03:16 AM • [link]
Yes!!!! I totally forgot about that! I laughed so hard I cried when I read that!
*Goes to reread Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason*
hapax said on 08.24.10 at 03:50 AM • [link]
The Crusie line that *still* cracks me up is from GETTING RID OF BRADLEY:
(say it along with me, everyone)
“Oh no! Dead dog!”
Jody W. said on 08.24.10 at 03:52 AM • [link]
Was it in Edge of Reason where Bridget interviewed Colin Firth so…delightfully? That was funny.
Suze said on 08.24.10 at 04:01 AM • [link]
Lula, on a high-protein diet, with a purse full of bacon, being chased down the road by dogs. I don’t remember anything else in that book, but that scene still makes me snort in a viscous and unattractive manner.
Maria said on 08.24.10 at 04:20 AM • [link]
I get a big smile when I remember the scene in Jaid Black’s “The Empress’ New Clothes” where the empress, tired of being trying to fit into her new life, has run off to a very tough bar filled with the worst planetary riff-raff (think seven-foot ex-cons and worse). After several potent drinks, she has them all singing, and performing the moves to “Y.M.C.A.”
My husband had to come and check on me because I couldn’t stop laughing. BTW, it’s an erotic romance.
Pam said on 08.24.10 at 04:25 AM • [link]
There is a scene in Pratchett’s Witches Abroad where Nanny, Granny and Magrat are floating down the river and this weird little dude paddles up to the boat and starts talking about his birthday. Granny picks up the paddle and smacks him. (She can’t be having with that!) Now, when I hear the phrase “My presciousssss” I no longer think of Tolkien…
Another Pratchett catch-phrase: “Made from apples, mostly…”
I also love Heyer’s The Grand Sophy. One of the many hilarious scenes has Sophy driving the smug, oh-so-proper Miss Wraxton down St. James past all the gentleman’s clubs after Miss W. implies that Sophy’s unwise behavior might be forgiven by society if Sophy is seen to have Miss W.‘s sanction. Sophy’s response is to immediately test this assertion in the most outrageous way possible. You’re right, Sarah, the scene loses much in the retelling, but it’s way too long to quote. TGS may not be my absolute favorite Heyer, but it is the one that I can pick up any time and know that I will laugh…and that’s having read it maybe a half dozen times already.
Soni said on 08.24.10 at 05:14 AM • [link]
Ah, Grandma Mazur gets all the best lines. Although I must say that sometimes Ranger can make me spit out my tea with a well-timed, “Babe.”
MikieJ said on 08.24.10 at 05:42 AM • [link]
My fav. scene is from Julia Quinn - the Bridgerton brothers are always hilarious. I particularly love how Colin’s always eating. Too funny. But what takes the cake in the whole series is Anthony in and Kate in “The Viscount Who Loved Me.” The scene where Kate’s dog leads them on a merry chase ultimately ending in Anthony soaking wet thanks to Kate. Those two were hilarious. It was also sexy as hell. You can’t make it easy for the man. Honestly! :D
Kaetrin said on 08.24.10 at 09:01 AM • [link]
There are so many, but here’s a few of my favourites (or at least the ones I can think of right now anyway)
The Watertower in Jenny Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation
Kate’s disastrous dates in Crusie’s Manhunting
and, definitely the turkey scene in All I Ever Wanted by Kristan Higgins
Sophie said on 08.24.10 at 09:21 AM • [link]
One of my all time Favs (and which I found here on the bitchery) Lord of Scoundrels:
Toni said on 08.24.10 at 01:43 PM • [link]
Jim Butcher has so many LOL moments that it’s hard to pick just one, but I was re-reading Dead Beat last night and the scene with Harry riding the zombie dinosaur through downtown Chicago made me laugh so hard that I woke up my hubby.
Cat Marsters said on 08.24.10 at 03:17 PM • [link]
Of course, with Colin Firth playing Mark Darcy they couldn’t put it in the film (which IMO was no way as funny as the book) BUT if you get the DVD they shot it as an extra scene. Bridget interviewing Colin Firth, asking him repeatedly about the wet shirt moment. Brilliant.
helen said on 08.24.10 at 04:00 PM • [link]
In “An Ice Cold Grave” by Charlaine Harris there is a scene where Tolliver and Harper are having sex and she offers to go down on him. In her mind she is thinking, about how men are so happy to just have sex that even basic cable sex is good to them. Then she thinks that she is premium cable. As she begins to pleasure him she looks up at him and says “Just think of me as HBO baby”. It is not nearly as funny written out here, but now every time someone mentions they want premium cable or have premium cable I burst out into howling laughter completely confusing them.
Donna said on 08.24.10 at 06:46 PM • [link]
Another post has reminded me that I have had some real gut busters reading Shelley Laurenston’s books, in particular Here Kitty Kitty and anything involving bears. She is just all kinds of bawdy good fun.
John said on 08.24.10 at 10:13 PM • [link]
One scene that always makes me laugh in K.A.Mitchell’s Collision Course (yay for M/M) is one where one of the main character’s has his sister come visit after a fight with the other love interest.
I just found that line amazingly hilarious when I first read it.
Jeannie said on 08.24.10 at 10:37 PM • [link]
Everytime I read the word “coochie” in any book I get the giggles like a 10-year old schoolboy. The first time I saw it in print was in a Joshilyn Jackson novel (not sure which one).
The “Fucking her ass; saving her life.” line was priceless though. That review was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read in my life!
Donna said on 08.24.10 at 11:55 PM • [link]
And as I’m reading the lastest Temeraire book. Everytime little Emily Roland hits Lawrence in the face with the facts of life, I just giggle like a girl.
FD said on 08.25.10 at 12:34 AM • [link]
LMcB’s Civil Campaign is always snort-worthy.
There’s a scene in Stella Riley’s Marigold Chain where the hero and the heroine go to a Grand Banquet and Masque in celebration of the King’s Restoration and Birthday. It involves a meal of distressingly many courses, followed by a play with diabolically bad verse, caterwauling muses, a limp masted ship and a tree stuck in the scenery. Not to mention the free range doves of peace. And the pikes.
It made me howl the first time I read it and even now, god knows how many rereadings later, despite much anticipation of the best lines, it still gets me, every time.
KinseyHolley said on 08.25.10 at 12:51 AM • [link]
“Damn skippy” is one of my most overused phrases and it comes straight from Stephanie Plum.
T. Pratchett is my favorite author of all time bar none no exceptions, b/c he is so funny and so deep at the same time. In one of books featuring Moist Von Lipwig - it might be the one about making money - he says of a female character “she was content to let self-regard do the work of self-respect.” One of the best lines ever, and I’ve known quite a few women (and men) it applies to.
I hesitate to read Pratchett or Christopher Moore in public because I laugh out loud every other page or so.
Amanda in Baltimore said on 08.25.10 at 04:10 AM • [link]
I have numerous Terry Pratchett “maniacal laughter moments.” A favorite is from (I think) Lords and Ladies.
Nanny has taken Casanunda up for a ride on her broom. They pass over a “standing stones” monument, and Casanunda is shocked at what they look like from the air.
Nanny chides him that he had to know that rock formations like that meant something, and Casanunda replies,
“Yes, but I didn’t think they meant ‘I have a great big tonker.’”
Just thinking the word tonker makes me giggle.
La Reine Noire said on 08.25.10 at 04:11 AM • [link]
Just about any scene with Crowley in Pratchett and Gaiman’s Good Omens. And roughly the last third of Heyer’s Devil’s Cub reduces me to hysterical giggling every single time.
Oh! And any scene with Bouncer in The Reluctant Widow (also Heyer).
Teresa C said on 08.25.10 at 04:17 AM • [link]
I have to agree with Donna about Shelley Laurenston.
In her latest, Beast Behaving Badly, I nearly stayed up all night, giggling madly. Between vindictive badgers attacking Blayne in New York City, and Blayne tormenting Dee, I was a happy camper.
orangehands said on 08.25.10 at 04:50 AM • [link]
There are a lot of awesomely funny scenes in books (Terry Pratchett and Jennifer Crusie always make me laugh, even when I don’t love the book), but for words, sometimes when people are talking about spice racks I start to laugh hysterically.
In Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta, one of the boy characters tells the four girls “We call you Bitch Spice, Stupid Spice, Butch Spice, and Slut Spice” and they spend three pages debating who is who. The whole thing is amazingly funny, but the best line is when one girl (who it was decided was Slut Spice) says when one of the other girls offers to take that name, “No. Not possible. Because what would that make me? I’m not stupid, nor am I bitchy” and the other girl says “Siobhan, you’re the whole spice rack as far as some people are concerned.”
I’ve probably reread that thing seventy times and I still laugh my ass off each time.
pinkrosebloom said on 08.25.10 at 07:14 AM • [link]
I pretty much can’t look at a porsche cayenne without thinking of Ranger.
And the word Orangina always makes me think of Meg Cabot books.
Shelly said on 08.25.10 at 12:38 PM • [link]
I just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who has recommended Lord of Scoundrels. I bought it today to read on the train on the way home from work. It’s fantastic.
deb kinnard said on 08.25.10 at 06:16 PM • [link]
This! Yes! I’ve read most of Bujold’s superlative Vorkosigan series more than once, but this scene still has me sitting with laff/tears pouring down my face because it’s so Vor-massively funny!
Jocelyn said on 08.27.10 at 01:57 PM • [link]
Delurking for the first time:
I was re-reading volume 1 of Sharing Knife on the bus home today and kept having to bite my tongue for the whole four pages or so where Dag tries to answer Fawn’s questions about sex. Probably the funniest lines: ‘And now his arousal had grown to serious physical discomfort. Atop a horse, of all things. There were many things not to try on a horse, even one as good-natured as this mare. He couldn’t avoid remembering several of them, which didn’t help.’
There are two other scenes I’ve read recently which actually did make me laugh out loud (fortunately when I was at home alone). In Kushiel’s Chosen, very near the end: ‘“She would have given her heart to you, would you have accepted it, but you chose your own course instead.”
“I didn’t know,” Joscelin whispered, paling slightly. For all that I loved him, he could be a bit of an idiot about some things.’
And in Cotillion, I think every scene where Freddy talks to his father, but this line takes the cake: ‘Mr Standen thought this over, and came to the conclusion that there was only one way in which his unfortunate relative could be helped. “If you’re hatching a scheme to poison Aunt Augusta, I won’t have anything to do with it!” he said.’
Donna said on 08.28.10 at 05:33 AM • [link]
Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul by Douglas Adams is the funniest book - the scene with the decapitated head on the record player spinning around with music playing . . . Oh, oh, and the kid in the attic that the hero tries to talk to so he unplugs the TV to get the kid’s attention only to get a bloody nose -AND he tells the cops to not turn off the TV . . . But of course they do . . . Man, I DID pee my pants a little I was laughing so hard. OH - and the whole Zen method of navigating the car, just too funny and also explains so much about men’s thing about asking directions.
I also buy all Donald E. Westlake’s Dortmunder books and his earlier books like Help I’m being held Prisoner about what happens to a practical joker when he’s sentenced to prison for a public prank (two mannikins in an explicit sexual position by the side if the freeway during morning rush hour and resulting in a pile up) who tries to clean up his act only to get blamed for things he didn’t do.
Donna said on 08.28.10 at 05:39 AM • [link]
forgot - the prisoner in question traces his thing with practical jokes back to his parents not changing their surname when they immigrated from Germany - Kuntz with an umlaut.ROTFLOL!
Donna said on 08.28.10 at 05:57 AM • [link]
OK, just remembered this one from Michelle Kasey “Remember to eat your peas.”
S said on 08.30.10 at 03:54 AM • [link]
Someone’s already mentioned Crowley in “Good Omens”—it took me forever to finish that book because I would laugh so hard I couldn’t see the pages. Dorothy L. Sayers has a scene in “Busman’s Honeymoon” where the unflappable Bunter is overcome with horror because a case of port has been shaken into undrinkability. And any time William Dunford appears in a Bridgerton book, I’m caught between laughing and swooning.
There’s a scene in Judith Merkle Riley’s “The Master of All Desires” where the heroine is trying to catch a head (the kind that isn’t attached to the body, not the other kind) that’s rolling around the floor and swearing in fury at the indignity…for some reason, I found that scene hilarious.
nitnot said on 08.30.10 at 11:23 PM • [link]
The world is filled with great writers, but the latest funniest author I’ve read is Ilona Andrews on her Kate Daniels series. Kate’s well-timed, “Why me?” is on par with Ranger’s “Babe”, if not above.
Basically every time I read a Kate Daniels book, I can expect to have a good time. A scene that sticks out more than the rest was on book 3, about The Games. Kate was calling Saiman to register their ragtag team as a participant in the Games, and Saiman asked for a team name.
Everybody pitched in with names driven by delusions of grandeur, until Doc Doolittle said, “Fools.”
Kate said, “Fools.”
Saiman asked, “Fools?” and I proceeded to laugh so hard I almost broke a rib.
Miss Moppet said on 09.02.10 at 11:10 PM • [link]
“The Accidental Demon Slayer” by Angie Fox. The part where Lizzie wants to have hot motel sex with Dimitri but he keeps trying to stop her to talk about their feelings, even as she is unzipping his blue jeans with her teeth. It’s such a gender role reversal and her frustration is hilarious to me.
Also, I always crack up when I reread “Bet Me” by Jennifer Crusie. The fact that the universe is trying desperatly to hurt them when they try to stay away from each other is so funny to me.
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