Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

I’m laughing so hard I’m spitting. Not a pretty sight. This was great fun. Thank you. Here’s my contribution.

Ebola looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gopher snake attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched.

As he reached out with his massive leg, she cringed back.

‘gurgh!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are yark, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stupidly.

’ jkdjfkdjkjk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample eyeball nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most vomitous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own.

Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ebola. It mean ‘manchild-who-swim-ostrich-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive birth control pills you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ebola could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate big toe in his callused hand and deflowered her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy supper he felt.

Ladeeda looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Jackrabbit attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive leg, she cringed back.

‘Bite you, thucka!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hack, hack, pop, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Ursa Major.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked madly.

‘sdfhsowlkenrelknr,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample neck nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most outrageous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ladeeda. It mean ‘bucket-who-suck-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘peony,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive faucet you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ladeeda could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate finger in his callused hand and blew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ran his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy wagon he felt.

Gotta love madlibs…..

BoDeeDo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive derriere, she cringed back.

‘you so wahhhh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gurk grak blehhhgggg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-comet.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked soft.

‘ihfgjaekrgjnasmdbyuwefnz,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample knee nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most hairy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name BoDeeDo. It mean ‘book-who-going-guinea pig-in-the-Nuts.’  What your name?’

‘tulip,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive sofa you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

BoDeeDo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate penis in his callused hand and spent her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He lost his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy kitchen he felt.

Kwanda looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious dung beetle attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive nipple, she cringed back.

‘Gung!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Gulg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-moon.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked lustfully.

‘watduhfuk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample love hole nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most desperately thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Kwanda. It mean ‘love hammer-who-boink-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Dandelion,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive Volkswagon you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Kwanda could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate chin hairs in his callused hand and stroked her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He coughed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy flatulence he felt.

It’s really just the last sentencethat slayed me.

*

Ramalamadingdong looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious groundhog attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive nostril, she cringed back.

‘Them’s the breaks!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are howrack, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stealthily.

‘fgj auiotr rtuasriofja twoithsrthwt awertsrt erter tae ter y awe,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample finger nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most fudgey thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ramalamadingdong. It mean ‘hat-who-sings-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘daffodil,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive music you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ramalamadingdong could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knuckle in his callused hand and drew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He rubbed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy tree he felt.

I think I just died a little.
_____________

Sipainkitagustomo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious iguana attack. His massive, bulging cocyx gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive elbow, she cringed back.

‘Ha-chachacha!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are snerkgackhaaack, Woman-With-Hair-Like-asteroid.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked passionately.

‘merid gkodlj gorz,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample areola nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lascivious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Sipainkitagustomo. It mean ‘armpit-who-sucks-parrot-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Cherry Blossom,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive aardvark you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Sipainkitagustomo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate tongue in his callused hand and bounced her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He mashed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy concupiscence he felt.

So sweet, so savage, it’s… THE ADVENTURES OF POOBAMATORY!

***

Poobamatory looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prarie dog attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive elbow, she cringed back.

‘I d-don’t f-fucking s-s-stutter!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are kagghh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Jupiter.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked swimmingly.

‘dkfjif iweqfowqnf;as ioerfjqwf,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample buttock nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most swirly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Poobamatory. It mean ‘fence-who-obfuscate-llama-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Nasturtium,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive pitfall you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Poobamatory could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ankle in his callused hand and strayed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ameliorated his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy nipple he felt.

Almost wet myself

_______________

Klaperakck looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gopher attack. His massive, bulging thigh gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.

‘Riiiiiibet man!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Haarrrkuuumph, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Saint Thomas.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked quickly.

‘jkfiaeoijfaoiejwfiawpejfoiaj,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample nose nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most sulky thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Klaperakck. It mean ‘Paris-who-fuck-rat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘pussy willow,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive scissors you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Klaperakck could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knuckle in his callused hand and bashed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He snogged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy soap he felt.

I probably should not have filled this out after my skating lesson… I kept putting in all the body parts that hurt right now…

————————
Sholamemslilela looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie chicken attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive achilles tendon, she cringed back.

‘Wet’s wock and woll!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Grrrphurl, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Skylab.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked tenderly.

‘jei sjiotg weopj stij atptjiont,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample hip flexor nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bright thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Sholamemslilela. It mean ‘caffeine-who-limp-kitten-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘tulip,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive blade you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Sholamemslilela could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ankle in his callused hand and slid her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He fell his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy boot he felt.

Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin

Gagaholumikinewo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious kangaroo attack. His massive, bulging big toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive left eyebrow, she cringed back.

‘Suck my dick!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are farts, Woman-With-Hair-Like-asteroid.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked sloppily.

‘dlkfhh ldhf a kjnj oiu bjv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample liver nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most loverly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Gagaholumikinewo. It mean ‘book-who-swim-mastiff-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive fried chicken you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Gagaholumikinewo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate penis in his callused hand and ran her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He tie-dyed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy hand he felt.

I love you guys! It was everything I had hoped, and more…

Ooga-cha-ka looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Boll Weevil attack. His massive, bulging Buttock gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive Shin, she cringed back.

‘Th-th-th-th-that’s H-h-ho-hoo-hooo… Th-that’s neat-o!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Gah-glrrp-rauchh-urggh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Karl Urban.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked Squishily.

‘shdforh dfetnqo qlretkno wehjtwgbv wwohqwfrbgisd skfghbiwv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample Pelvis nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most Chapped thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ooga-cha-ka. It mean ‘Rawhide-who-Suck-Weiner dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Cockleburr,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive Beefsteak you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ooga-cha-ka could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate Ankle in his callused hand and Protruded her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He Emerged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Tomahawk he felt.

Fertgtdremgt looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gila monster attack. His massive, bulging manhood gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive knee, she cringed back.

‘Thit!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are ralph, Woman-With-Hair-Like-venue.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked passionately.

‘etw dtr tewdmf eigtetdr,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample nub nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most throbbing thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Fertgtdremgt. It mean ‘chair-who-blooms-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘hollyhock,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive table you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Fertgtdremgt could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hand in his callused hand and rubbed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He thrusted his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy sofa he felt.

God, I love a hero with an impressive table.  :)

Dohdecacauldron looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Bison attack. His massive, bulging tail gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive horn, she cringed back.

‘You have to love me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are khacknorf, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Vega.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked eerily.

‘erufljs kdfhe rfhdflfu ghdkl fgu,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample toenail nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most green thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Dohdecacauldron. It mean ‘table-who-eating-kitty-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Aster,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive book you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Dohdecacauldron could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knee in his callused hand and ate her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He mashed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy speaker he felt.

X

SO FUN!

Buwhanawikiki looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Gecko attack. His massive, bulging Nose hair gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive Left big toe, she cringed back.

‘Lay it down like pea-nut buttah!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are schluh-schluh-schluh-schluh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Antonio Banderas.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked rakeishly.

‘dofgo ifgowie,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample chin nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most squishy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Buwhanawikiki. It mean ‘avocado-who-scream-husband-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive jumping bean you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Buwhanawikiki could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate big blue wrist vein in his callused hand and slurped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He boogied his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy pillbox hat he felt.

Juyngrt looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.

‘slow slorry!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are pphhhtttttt, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked hurriedly.

‘as;tkjasg iahsepighasdg ashtgapsdghapt sthnsaghasghna;s,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample elbow nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most golden thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Juyngrt. It mean ‘calendar-who-walk-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive lotion you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Juyngrt could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toe in his callused hand and slept her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ran his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy phone he felt.

Jaymontiwalkblue looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious jackrabbit attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive big toe, she cringed back.

‘Thwack my Thwonker!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are warble, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Hugh Jackman.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked expediently.

‘dfjdkj fjie dkjeoi wshso,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample tongue nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most grainy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Jaymontiwalkblue. It mean ‘burp-who-ralphed-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Lilly,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive book you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Jaymontiwalkblue could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate spine in his callused hand and skipped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He laughed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy butter he felt.

Oh, gawd. Thank you Bitches. Such a bad day at work, such a perfect way to take a well deserved break.

-T
———-

Aaskd looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging pinky toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive mouth, she cringed back.

‘Fu-u-u-u-ucccccccck!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Ca-hurl-cack, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked wetly.

‘sajdfklsdjfsklfj,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample hand nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most sternly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Aaskd. It mean ‘lamp-who-run-donkey-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive book you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Aaskd could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ass in his callused hand and dribbled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He slid his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy flower he felt.

Bam used one of my favorite words ever:

concupiscence

Hoo Ray Bam!

Lay it down like pea-nut buttah, baby!

Joyce

Oh, man, I nearly peed from laughing!

————
Ra-haw-Woowo! looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious sage hen attack. His massive, bulging uvula gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive appendix, she cringed back.

‘Rock this swiss cheese, skanky ho!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Arooo-ha-wahili-crabapple tart!, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked meat-tenderizingly.

‘Rf DRJGkjdjj wojfaw oj j,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample buttock nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most crab-like thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ra-haw-Woowo!. It mean ‘marmoset-who-flaggelate-ferret-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘California poppy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive juniper you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ra-haw-Woowo! could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate armpit in his callused hand and evacuated her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He unplugged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy nugget he felt.

————-

You have brought madlibs into my unholy day.  Bless you!

Corelfdistray looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious hyena attack. His massive, bulging shoulder gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ring finger, she cringed back.

‘Ashmooooo!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are milf milf milf, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Angelina Jolie.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked squirrely.

‘wiesajaa,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample forearm nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most brownish thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Corelfdistray. It mean ‘destiny-who-hauling-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘alyssum,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive toothpick you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Corelfdistray could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toenail in his callused hand and tested her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He prophesied his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy tick he felt.

Lojomatinata looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Sand People attack. His massive, bulging groin gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive earlobe, she cringed back.

‘Wokka Wokka Wokka’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hornk hornk hornk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked blindingly.

‘Ldinglskghspiuehwsibkasjcbapkbrpah,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample kneecap nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lascivious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Lojomatinata. It mean ‘dog spittle-who-spanks-golden retriever-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Clematis,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive kemosabe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Lojomatinata could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ring finger in his callused hand and ate her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He mashed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy gas he felt.

Someone just came by my desk and asked if I was okay.  I’m in tears, I’m laughing so hard.

:lol:

Dohuhwhaaa looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tongue, she cringed back.

‘Iwikebeeshs.!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hork-hork-hork, Woman-With-Hair-Like-cloud.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked hurriedly.

‘lksjd foie moiwed ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample belly button nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tall thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Dohuhwhaaa. It mean ‘balloon-who-sit-ox-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘gladiolus,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive telephone you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Dohuhwhaaa could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate elbow in his callused hand and sank her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He typed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy earring he felt.

Izlakasho looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging chin gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive foot, she cringed back.

‘Kith my ath!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hcckkkk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Orion’s Belt.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked heatedly.

‘dlgoaenv aslkio erelaqfnvla fzdsdfk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample ass nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most grand thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Izlakasho. It mean ‘car-who-licking-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘rosa rugosa,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive hose you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Izlakasho could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ear in his callused hand and screwed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He wept his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy heart he felt.

*rofl* god, I love these

——

Gahfigtan looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious buffalo attack. His massive, bulging knuckle gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.

‘Corndogs!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Pheeeewww, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked fuckily.

‘dkali laeik klvihga k aid,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample big toe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most madly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Gahfigtan. It mean ‘paper-who-busts-cow-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘petunia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive tissue you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Gahfigtan could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate nipple in his callused hand and ate her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He vomited his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy box he felt.

Teeth spilling out of a bodice? Now, that would make for a fun cover.

Questoferroneltuopettosinoallelsaiovopiantar looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious mustang attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive toe, she cringed back.

‘äh, it’s äh, you know, äh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are eeewkhuff, Woman-With-Hair-Like-fallen angel.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked conspiciously.

‘himmiherrgottzerfixhallelujah,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample teeth nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most fastidious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Questoferroneltuopettosinoallelsaiovopiantar. It mean ‘flower-who-sings-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘petunia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive village you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Questoferroneltuopettosinoallelsaiovopiantar could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hair in his callused hand and kicked her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He jumped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy sky he felt.

I’ve never commented before, but I just can’t resist this. My poor sister just had quite a bit of a scare, finding me wheezing alarmingly and helplessly pointing to the screen. Too, too funny!
Here’s mine:

Jeovicamio looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious fennek attack. His massive, bulging lips gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive eyes, she cringed back.

‘Got any bennies?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are shlurpshgoorrrrrrrrchrork, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Altair.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked luridly.

‘sidvcosnvois v nsvnsov nosv svdsvnbsuvsnbdovnsdövjsd vksv sdvs vi vs vs vsdj ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample thumb nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most raw thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Jeovicamio. It mean ‘sherbet-who-trifle-hog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Geranium,’ she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive floodgate you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Jeovicamio could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate kneecap in his callused hand and left her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He smooched his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy government he felt.

Lol, if you know what goes where, you can even come up with something that makes for a Sword and Sorcery parody:

Agantyr looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious bison attack. His massive, bulging torso gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive arm, she cringed back.

‘No, don’t, ye ken, don’t have fear!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are bootiful, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Brynhild.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked timidly.

‘egentligen snakker jeg bare norsk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample bosom nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lustful thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Agantyr. It mean ‘bear-who-kicks-ox-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘White Rose,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive friend you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Agantyr could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate face in his callused hand and drew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He laved his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy fire he felt.

Ketypz looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious coyote attack. His massive, bulging head gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive foot, she cringed back.

‘zowza!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are grwff, Woman-With-Hair-Like-comet.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked laughingly.

‘lkdjf iowtf 98yu98u-jf jhh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample elbow nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most shining thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ketypz. It mean ‘elephant-who-run-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘zinnia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive table you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ketypz could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knee in his callused hand and jumped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He collapsed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy book he felt.

There are a few good ones here ;o)

Cogyniscation looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious fire ant attack. His massive, bulging decolletage gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive aureola, she cringed back.

‘bebeb’ bodacious!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are rralf hhralf rrraak, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Moon.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked swimmingly.

‘lsf dfkkr rirfv vhbnr fsfsflhu fd irjgitt kfd llrv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample frenum nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most slick thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Cogyniscation. It mean ‘love bead-who-hork-sheep-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘hibiscus,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive cock ring you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Cogyniscation could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate splenic flexure in his callused hand and evacuated her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He eviscerated his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy satisfaction he felt.

Gaah…cannot…breathe…help.

I’m laughing so hard I’m snorting. My kids are shooting me the most incredible looks. I’m going to need a Depends before this is over.

****
Lolagif looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive duodenum, she cringed back.

‘Whath thup?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gaaaahaaaaccckkk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-ursa major.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked masterfully.

‘fnj kenk lwah frealrjh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample stomach nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most skanky thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Lolagif. It mean ‘boat-who-whines-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘wisteria,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive tent you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Lolagif could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate nostril in his callused hand and hurled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ravaged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy volcano he felt.

His massive, bulging decolletage gleamed in the sun

OMG that’s a severe case of Man Tittie. Teh horror.  :snake:

Kamakamalophogus looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging kneecap gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive armpit, she cringed back.

‘Fushtit!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are schrawns, Woman-With-Hair-Like-black hole.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked suppressively.

’ ohfroghf fojdf ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample toenail nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most sugary thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Kamakamalophogus. It mean ‘jewelry-box-who-scratch-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘hydrangea,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive duvet you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Kamakamalophogus could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate earlobe in his callused hand and transmogrified her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He chewed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy picture frame he felt.

“As he reached out with his massive, flaming armpit”...

Oh, God. Help me. I think I just wet myself and hurt something at the same time.

“Smart Bitches Romance Mad Libs: More Fun Than Man-Titty!”

Damn fine fun, this…

Farquamalmor looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious iguana attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive armpit, she cringed back.

‘thnerkle-piss!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hyek-hyek-hyek, Woman-With-Hair-Like-xena.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked tidily.

‘hoien jhahhghn loilnkl,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample kneecap nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most rumpled thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Farquamalmor. It mean ‘teddy bear-who-nuzzles-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘rhododendron,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive flypaper you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Farquamalmor could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knuckle in his callused hand and slid her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He thumped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy squeegee he felt.

Anybody besides me note the preponderance of kneecaps and toes in this madlib? Athough I must confess I wish I had thought of flaming armpits when I was filling in the blanks….

Amkaron looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious fox attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive shoulder, she cringed back.

‘Want a peppermint drop/!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are urg urg urg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked quickly.

‘poiu lkj qerw qer ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample Toe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bright thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Amkaron. It mean ‘desk-who-run-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘phlox,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shoe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Amkaron could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hip in his callused hand and threw her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He remarked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy rope he felt.

Goblooglug looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious buffalo attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive eyelash, she cringed back.

‘Bluh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are blurp, Woman-With-Hair-Like-star.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked happily.

‘adfkjd e dfjkd iperq aa dddpadfkeqqc lllp,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample ankle nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tired thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Goblooglug. It mean ‘butterfly-who-laugh-parakeet-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘gardenia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive monitor you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Goblooglug could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate tooth in his callused hand and drove her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He read his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy sandwich he felt.

Wallyfallymassaquolaffy looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious bison attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive Achilles tendon, she cringed back.

‘“Lishen to me!”!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are quaaaaaamnshoooody, Woman-With-Hair-Like-the Milky Way.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked sleepily.

‘lfashdfahs iulwrlfdsa wqeriyysakj werwersfd weirudcvsajadf susafiuoafdssafasfv safk sfsdaff qwsjvnvsdiz sfav dsaffdsv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample breast nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most jealous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Wallyfallymassaquolaffy. It mean ‘proctologist-who-sprays-goat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘hydrangea,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive clock you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Wallyfallymassaquolaffy could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate elbow in his callused hand and spoke her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He slept his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy armadillo he felt.

I should know what medulla oblongata is.  :mad:

I always enjoy these! Here’s mine—
————————————————————
Labettamin looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious rattler attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive inner thigh, she cringed back.

‘thweet!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hhhrrucckk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Crab Nebula.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked greasily.

‘erheroih ssefgrh wefwfwe ihiowe ihf ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample septum nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most weepily thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Labettamin. It mean ‘basket-who-fart-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘anemone,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive tree you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Labettamin could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate pinkie in his callused hand and looted her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy capture he felt.
————————————-

“Basket Who Fart Hamster in the Nuts” just slays me.

i purposely didn’t read any of the other madlibs before i did this. sorry, typing with squirmy baby on my lap. I am laughing so hard i am crying!

Mammajammafunkoramma looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious whistlepig attack. His massive, bulging little toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive earlobe, she cringed back.

‘whassit!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gerblech, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked looking.

‘janoidnnoieethmhalnodnsy,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample bellybutton nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most purple thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Mammajammafunkoramma. It mean ‘laundry hamper-who-peeing-iguana-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘hyacinth,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive diaper you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Mammajammafunkoramma could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate flabby belly in his callused hand and barfed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He tooted his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Aunt Nelly he felt.

Lalashambo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious badgers attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive leg, she cringed back.

‘wanna wimbe!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are scrakpoof, Woman-With-Hair-Like-angel.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked green.

‘ahdklahdndlndnlnal,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample eye nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lovely thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Lalashambo. It mean ‘dog-who-walking-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘sun,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive lace you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Lalashambo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toe in his callused hand and paved her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sat his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy butt he felt.

“only she could slake the unholy Aunt Nelly he felt.”

Missie! I am dying. Way past Depends moment. I think I pulled something.

Well, what do you expect of an hero named Mammajammafunkoramma.  :lol:

My humble offering:

Neenerneener looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious mir cat attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive upper lip, she cringed back.

‘ddddaats hot !’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are heeyurg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-saturn.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked quickly.

‘jkj kdidj yhgy odpdiy jfudytt koft,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample ankle nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bright thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Neenerneener. It mean ‘spoon-who-run-dwarf rabbit-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘buttercup,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive jackhammer you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Neenerneener could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate forehead in his callused hand and shot her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy book he felt.

Quarzedwackto looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious scorpion attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive eyebrow, she cringed back.

‘It’s not my nose!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are smacksmackgurg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Io.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked emphatically.

‘hjfsoaav ojfadoifeopv poerewp dhsadareqhpo,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample nostril nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most smelly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Quarzedwackto. It mean ‘Jell-O-who-dancing-ferret-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘orchid,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive frog you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Quarzedwackto could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate earlobe in his callused hand and tested her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sneezed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy wine rack he felt.

I didn’t read the others before posting. I’m in tears right now. I have to go into a chat still chortling.

Cool.

What fun!

Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin

Gagmee looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious groundhog attack. His massive, bulging big toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tongue, she cringed back.

‘durrrrrrr-KAY!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hawooooof, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Mars.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked spitefully.

‘kljthh whoog George Bush,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample nipple nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most delicious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Gagmee. It mean ‘collander-who-jam-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shoe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Gagmee could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate cock in his callused hand and screamed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He licked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Idaho potato he felt.

Collander-who-jam-horse-in-the-nuts!

Bwahahahaha!!!

My son and I collaborated on this. He couldn’t stand the finished version.

BooshClock looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious spikey lizard attack. His massive, bulging pancreas gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive lung, she cringed back.

‘I aoouuu zha zha!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hackety hackety blergh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-jupiter.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked monotonously.

‘gdhfngcdgfv fvjhcfjhcgfuycrcu frhcmjfhrcufhcrfllif ufikk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample gall bladder nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most glamorous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name BooshClock. It mean ‘tiger-who-gobble-ginger the llama-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘chokecherry,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive bookend you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

BooshClock could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate liver in his callused hand and conquered her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He exported his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy dog chewy he felt.

Twesojomophoo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging udder gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tympanum, she cringed back.

‘thay thay thay wha!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are quwaghhhhhkkaaa, Woman-With-Hair-Like-asteroid.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked wretchedly.

‘fokeklfalkjeafn laelkf laflekng aklelkf elalng lakeklgn alelg ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample pinkie toe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most languid thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Twesojomophoo. It mean ‘orb-who-arch-pot-bellied pig-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘delphinium,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive blanket you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Twesojomophoo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate forefinger in his callused hand and clapped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He swamped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy hard drive he felt.

Giffarkunckle looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging dick gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive scrotum, she cringed back.

‘bite me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are scrumfle, Woman-With-Hair-Like-uranus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked lonely.

‘fjawojf fjf flfjldriejos ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample titty nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bloated thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Giffarkunckle. It mean ‘rock-who-squirt-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shoe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Giffarkunckle could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toe in his callused hand and spackled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He farted his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy bench he felt.

I swear this was my first shot at it.  I don’t think I could’ve edited it to be better!

~~~~~~~

Bafruglicious looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious scorpion attack. His massive, bulging toenail gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive freckle, she cringed back.

‘gottafrinklegottafrinkle!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are schmulurp, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Alpha Centauri.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked effluently.

‘allskfjwao asdfa oksfab tmnolkjo bhoihsdfek,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample fugly wart with a hair growing out of it nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most arthritic thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Bafruglicious. It mean ‘clod-who-desalinate-parakeet-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘gin blossom,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive receipt you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Bafruglicious could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate prostate in his callused hand and mailed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He barked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy armchair he felt.

“the unholy nugget”

I cannot get this phrase out of my head.  I’m thinking Ivana Trump’s new Vegas hotel; I’m thinking the Colnel’s extra crispy man parts; I’m thinking flash frozen, freeze dried, or deep fried porn.  I’m thinking about the most twisted Romance novel cover ever—how about some man titty with those nuggets.  Is it plagiarism to steal a Romance Mad Lib expression???

Flibberdabberdobulus looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious desert hedgehog attack. His massive, bulging epiglotis gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive patella, she cringed back.

‘bi…bi… bi… bite me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are bleuk bleuk bleuk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Crab Nebula.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked sardonically.

‘lfjalf ajfalfja fjrfalfj ajeljfa,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample inner ear nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most unholy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Flibberdabberdobulus. It mean ‘javelin-who-eating-tame ant-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Viper’s Bugloss,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive trumpet you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Flibberdabberdobulus could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate third nipple in his callused hand and hoovered her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He pogo-ed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy bucket he felt.

It is not encouraged to sob with laughter at work….

~~~~~~~~~

Thsioen looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gerbil attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ear, she cringed back.

‘Buttum!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Pffffffffffffopopopop, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Sirius.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stickily.

‘shfonc hjoiyen kwjms hsyehtr heehehehei hsioehaenwan ahdai anddn dn nd,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample tongue nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most huge thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Thsioen. It mean ‘lawn-who-pushing-guinea pig-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘sweet pea,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive chair you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Thsioen could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate stomach in his callused hand and struck her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ran his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy pen he felt.

OMG, this is what happens when you take a sick day. I’m so behind, but this totally made up for it. I did mine before reading the others and now I’m wishing I were wittier, but I claim genius for the Antonio Banderas line! LOL!

Ubalulahgulah looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious dung beetle attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive throat, she cringed back.

‘W-w-w-wha-dat ?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gwah-flu-click-click-click, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Antonio Bandera.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked whisperingly.

‘dsfk uieorw dlskjf poi si ksdljf s lakdfj,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample leg nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most gooey thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ubalulahgulah. It mean ‘pipe-who-coming-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘marigold,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive countertop you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ubalulahgulah could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate big toe in his callused hand and gone her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He wandered his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy book he felt.

The REAL challenge is, who’s gonna take one of these excerpts and write a short story around it?

————
Elhascarbean looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging buttock gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.

‘Bugs are good!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are plurk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Pluto.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stinkily.

‘alsjf asutqper zxcvzwqlfhga,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample eardrum nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most furry thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Elhascarbean. It mean ‘camel-who-running-ferret-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘gladiola,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive cigarette you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Elhascarbean could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate fingernail in his callused hand and ran her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sneezed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Paris he felt.

Tchsckalitz looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging left nipple gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive third toe on right foot, she cringed back.

‘Woo-Woo-Wowza!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Arghasnarf, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Jupiter.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked smashingly.

‘dashajdhsajkdas dajskdh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample pinky nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tergid thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Tchsckalitz. It mean ‘horse-who-itch-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘tiger lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive button you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Tchsckalitz could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate earlobe in his callused hand and juggled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He googled his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy nailpolish he felt.

Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin

Ha Rom Waah looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious snake attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive inner thigh, she cringed back.

‘up yours, arse-wipe!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are huckhcukhuck, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Jupiter.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked dashingly.

‘jsfgtbksdl jdrrgjdfg dfjgdfjgds sjgstg ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample collarbone nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most red thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ha Rom Waah. It mean ‘broom-who-eat-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘foxglove,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive house you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ha Rom Waah could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate face in his callused hand and swept her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He loved his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy rhubarb he felt.

Fuuutrugko looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious coyote attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive brain, she cringed back.

‘Fi fo fuh?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Glerk!, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Neptune.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked obsequiosly.

‘sljdhfs sljdhfsl lsjoid dnsjf jdshfk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample face nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most greasy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Fuuutrugko. It mean ‘balloon-who-gargled-chicken-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive trampoline you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Fuuutrugko could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate sternum in his callused hand and groped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He grappled his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy tumbleweed he felt.

Anybody besides me note the preponderance of kneecaps and toes in this madlib? Athough I must confess I wish I had thought of flaming armpits when I was filling in the blanks….

That is the well known effect of people trying very hard not to type “penis” when asked to think of a body part.

Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin

Tuxelania looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious sidewinder attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive big toe, she cringed back.

‘booty woo!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hhhrrrrrrwwwwaaakkkk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-venus.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked bubbly.

‘fjfi ee lroltp lglbot ogogo,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample earlobe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bulbous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Tuxelania. It mean ‘gnome-who-swat-parrot-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘lupin,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive grinder you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Tuxelania could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate tongue in his callused hand and blew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He munched his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy cockroach he felt.

ickyboglimpa looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious coyote attack. His massive, bulging chest gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tushy, she cringed back.
‘mush me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are arkhgarfgurgle, Woman-With-Hair-Like-josh wald.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked gracelessly.
‘frlijrgpijagpo2jmgfawjwhgawpojiwf’pjr0gpihW’FPIJAEWOITN CWMJWR[0IE4W0WJER-ERJGPSM:Ppo0pgatiejp’wmpijesagvpokwf-ojwf[kw[e,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample ear nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most wavy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name ickyboglimpa. It mean ‘cat-who-ride-parakeet-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘daphne,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive lace you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
ickyboglimpa could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knee in his callused hand and farted her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He rang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy computer he felt.

The REAL challenge is, who’s gonna take one of these excerpts and write a short story around it?

I now proclaim that if anyone has the balls to do it, and do it as a piece of decent writing, however goofy, I will pub it. We start at 5K and up, and we have a humor section. Full credit to SmartBitches.

Dare ya.

The REAL challenge is, who’s gonna take one of these excerpts and write a short story around it?

I now proclaim that if anyone has the balls to do it, and do it as a piece of decent writing, however goofy, I will pub it. We start at 5K and up, and we have a humor section. Full credit to SmartBitches.

Dare ya.

“I now proclaim that if anyone has the balls to do it, and do it as a piece of decent writing, however goofy, I will pub it. We start at 5K and up, and we have a humor section. Full credit to SmartBitches.”

5K words, or 5K $$?  Deadline for submission?

Stef, you know you’re gonna have a deluge of fic now. :)

5K words…we’re not officially taking subs as seen on our website, but this will be considered an editor invite. Take a look at our sub guidelines and go for it.

Send ‘em to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). I’m ready, ya’all.

ROTFLMAO—oh damn, if only I wasn’t on deadline…

...accidentally posted this to the wrong place before. Very sorry ‘bout that…

Eal-o Gar Nuff Wheee looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Armadillo attack. His massive, bulging head gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive patella, she cringed back.

‘I’m loaded!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Gerooey, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Black Hole.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked verbally.

‘asdf sdlyty qwek kasdfg,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample elbow nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tenuous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Eal-o Gar Nuff Wheee. It mean ‘Flask-who-guffaws-goat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Lupin,’she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shortbread you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Eal-o Gar Nuff Wheee could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate armpit in his callused hand and wrenched her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He tangoed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy helmet he felt.

…not bad for a first effort, methinks. This entry and its comments were so funny they inspired me to sign up to your truly brilliant site.

Along these lines (and sorry if this is a breach of netiquette, but I’m new to this), has anyone else found examples of alien characters using words in their exotic language to refer to (ahem) genitalia*? I’ve just finished a book (for the moment, its identity may safely continue to conceal itself beneath anonymity’s blushing blanket) that uses this technique to very startling effect, and have a nagging feeling I’ve encountered it before, but can’t recall where.

Not that I have any objections to a decent throbbing manhood, of course, but perhaps at certain times the appropriate alien vocabulary, judiciously used, adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the mysterious extraterrestrial atmosphere?

Happy Monday, all

*Please feel free to substitute something more appropriate here, perhaps “naughty bits” or a word in your favorite alien dialect.

That was cool. Here’s mine.

Ahbahoslinger looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging foot gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive butt, she cringed back.

‘Sucky suck suck!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Howick, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Moon.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked ridiculously.

‘Aldsf cbsdlzxcvertov,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample stomach nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most mind-numbing thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ahbahoslinger. It mean ‘Glass-who-Smack-Turtle-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive unicorn you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ahbahoslinger could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ankle in his callused hand and rushed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He stabbed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy bitch he felt.

XDDDDD

—

Ahdonotwantthis looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Bearded Dragon attack. His massive, bulging Toenail gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive third nipple, she cringed back.

‘graaatch lovvvvve Rich-argh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Argelbarlegeooomigawd, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Xena.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked throbbingly.

‘uewhdqewi dhewuidh kahfulya efbhuyekbferh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample “magic stick” nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most penultimate thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Ahdonotwantthis. It mean ‘stomache-who-discourse-German Shepherd-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘corpse flower,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive plunger you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Ahdonotwantthis could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hair follicle in his callused hand and scratched her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He flushed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy quantum computer he felt.

...I think I shouldn’t have chosen the nouns I did. XD

Annnnbaghram looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Skunk attack. His massive, bulging hand gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive nose, she cringed back.

‘Shragh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Mruwh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-bod.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked strangely.

‘jhhhlh hgig aiug ihfhh hgf,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample tongue nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most liquify thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Annnnbaghram. It mean ‘desk-who-am writing-cow-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘amarilys,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive stone you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Annnnbaghram could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate eye in his callused hand and did her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He hacked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy trash he felt.

Dude.

Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin
Bojomojodo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious varmint attack. His massive, bulging knuckle gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive rib, she cringed back.

‘Bwuhzuh?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Guhhhhwhorppthhh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Horsehead Nebula.’

The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked frostily.

‘sdlfkjwe sklejrsekrjw slkwrwe ieiehhgn,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’

He looked down at her. Her ample appendix nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most slow thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.

‘My name Bojomojodo. It mean ‘fish-who-marks-sheep-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’

‘Cactus Blossom,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive screensaver you have there. So long. So… sensual.’

Bojomojodo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate pelvic brim in his callused hand and shuffled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He gawped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy chess piece he felt.