Bitchin' Blog Posts

Personal Ad Contest, Part Whatever

by Candy | June 29, 2007 | Friday at 10:43 pm | 21 Comments

Yadda yadda yadda IT’S FRIDAY and it just so happens that my steel sieve of a mind is not quite as sieve-y as normal, so we get a personal ad contest today. WOOOOOOOOOT. First person to correctly guess the title, author and heroine’s name will get a brand-spankin’ new Smart Bitch aristocratic title—and for a small fee, a brand-new spankin’ is also available to go with the title. We’re generous like that, we are.

Ready, set…GO!


Scarred young miss with a talent for horses seeks OMGHOT man for one night of passion. Why? Because my husband obeys the Law of the First Husband’s Wang, which states that any non-hero dude married to the heroine in a romance novel must suffer from some sort of erectile disorder. I need to get pregnant FAST, because if I don’t, my husband’s heir will inherit and he’s in a creepy cult. (Seriously, if we were in an episode of The Simpsons instead of a Georgian era romance, the dude would totally be humming “Nananananananananananananananana LEADER, LEADER.”) Are you the right man for me? I prefer them cute and heavily concussed from carriage accidents.

Filed: Guess That Lonely Heart!

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  1. Kelly B. said on 06.29.07 at 11:01 PM • [comment link]

    Is it Secrets of the Night by Jo Beverley??

  2. Kate said on 06.29.07 at 11:04 PM • [comment link]

    Secrets of the Night by Jo Beverly and the heroine’s name is Rosamunde Overton

  3. bam said on 06.29.07 at 11:39 PM • [comment link]

    Okay, I should get this one because it’s Secrets of the Night by Jo BeverlEy

    and the heroine is Rosamunde Overton.

    (does the first entry not count because Kate misspelled Beverley? *grin*

  4. sleeky said on 06.30.07 at 12:00 AM • [comment link]

    I would be bummed, if I hadn’t already gotten a title with Beverley’s _Devilish_.

  5. Kate said on 06.30.07 at 12:42 AM • [comment link]

    I would dispute that my correct answer should be disqualified for want of a vowel. It didn’t say anywhere in the rules that the Title, Author, or Heroine’s Name actually had to be spelled correctly.

  6. darlynne said on 06.30.07 at 12:50 AM • [comment link]

    Finally, a book I’ve read. But could I THINK of the title or anything else? N-O-O-O-O.

  7. bam said on 06.30.07 at 12:56 AM • [comment link]

    I would dispute that my correct answer should be disqualified for want of a vowel. It didn’t say anywhere in the rules that the Title, Author, or Heroine’s Name actually had to be spelled correctly.

    *stroking chin* Hmm…

    JUDGE!

  8. Lisa said on 06.30.07 at 01:06 AM • [comment link]

    It is not misspelled to the point that we can’t identify which author she was talking about, though… hm… Reminds me of the art teacher who took off 5 points for each instance in an essay test that we misspelled chiaroscuro. 80% of the class flunked, btw. Because of that one word.

  9. Kate said on 06.30.07 at 01:16 AM • [comment link]

    I think we should all get credit for spelling the heroine’s name correctly. Jo BeverlEy’s novel was the first and only time I encountered someone named Rosamunde

  10. Candy said on 06.30.07 at 02:15 AM • [comment link]

    Dude, Kate’s our Winnah! Wooooo Kate!

    (Spelling errors count in this contest only if they’re egregious.)

  11. bam said on 06.30.07 at 02:59 AM • [comment link]

    *sobbing into hands*

    I’ll never win!

  12. Carrie Lofty said on 06.30.07 at 03:20 AM • [comment link]

    I love the word egregious now because of Johnny Depp. And I don’t love the word chiaroscuro. Congrats to Kate!

    Baroness Huntinne-Muffine

  13. Sarah Frantz said on 06.30.07 at 03:29 AM • [comment link]

    I love the word Chiaroscuro because of that amazing Paula Cole song of the same name. 

    Congrats to our new peer.

    -Baroness Bacqueseate

  14. Tania HC said on 06.30.07 at 04:10 AM • [comment link]

    I love the word cuntmonkey. heh heh.

    Congratulations Kate!!

    Marquisse de Swissheboucle

  15. Candy said on 06.30.07 at 06:17 AM • [comment link]

    Bam: Baby, you’re a winner—IN MY PANTS. Where it counts the most. You hot Pinay bitch.

  16. Emily said on 06.30.07 at 07:12 AM • [comment link]

    Just once, can’t the non-hero-hubby get a break? And a boner? Please? Even just a little one? Doesn’t even have to last all that long. Give him a chance.

    Congrats Kate!

    -Principessa de la Flarte/Baroness Bumpton-Ugleye

  17. bam said on 06.30.07 at 09:50 AM • [comment link]

    Bam: Baby, you’re a winner—IN MY PANTS. Where it counts the most. You hot Pinay bitch.

    Awww, you’re just saying that.

    Candy, you say the nicest things to me. I love you. *sniff*

  18. Kate said on 06.30.07 at 03:14 PM • [comment link]

    Oh WoW! I’m honored, humbled, and beyond excited! The only thing that would could me happier was if the Hoff came to San Diego for a book signing!

  19. bam said on 06.30.07 at 08:36 PM • [comment link]

    Kate, I live in San Diego too. :)

  20. Lisa said on 06.30.07 at 09:13 PM • [comment link]

    Bam, I will NEVER win because SBTB is firewalled at my work, so by the time the ads are posted and I get to them, someone else has already guessed it! My life SUCKS!

  21. Darlene Marshall said on 07.01.07 at 10:14 PM • [comment link]

    Congrats, Kate!

    And bam, never fear.  Someday you’ll leave the unwashed masses and join the ranks of the peerage. 

    Graciously,

    Darlene, Duchess Twitterpants

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