Bitchin' Blog Posts
Personal Ad Contest, Part Whatever
by Candy | June 29, 2007 | Friday at 10:43 pm | 21 CommentsYadda yadda yadda IT’S FRIDAY and it just so happens that my steel sieve of a mind is not quite as sieve-y as normal, so we get a personal ad contest today. WOOOOOOOOOT. First person to correctly guess the title, author and heroine’s name will get a brand-spankin’ new Smart Bitch aristocratic title—and for a small fee, a brand-new spankin’ is also available to go with the title. We’re generous like that, we are.
Ready, set…GO!
Scarred young miss with a talent for horses seeks OMGHOT man for one night of passion. Why? Because my husband obeys the Law of the First Husband’s Wang, which states that any non-hero dude married to the heroine in a romance novel must suffer from some sort of erectile disorder. I need to get pregnant FAST, because if I don’t, my husband’s heir will inherit and he’s in a creepy cult. (Seriously, if we were in an episode of The Simpsons instead of a Georgian era romance, the dude would totally be humming “Nananananananananananananananana LEADER, LEADER.”) Are you the right man for me? I prefer them cute and heavily concussed from carriage accidents.
Filed: Guess That Lonely Heart!

Kelly B. said on 06.29.07 at 11:01 PM • [comment link]
Is it Secrets of the Night by Jo Beverley??
Kate said on 06.29.07 at 11:04 PM • [comment link]
Secrets of the Night by Jo Beverly and the heroine’s name is Rosamunde Overton
bam said on 06.29.07 at 11:39 PM • [comment link]
Okay, I should get this one because it’s Secrets of the Night by Jo BeverlEy
and the heroine is Rosamunde Overton.
(does the first entry not count because Kate misspelled Beverley? *grin*
sleeky said on 06.30.07 at 12:00 AM • [comment link]
I would be bummed, if I hadn’t already gotten a title with Beverley’s _Devilish_.
Kate said on 06.30.07 at 12:42 AM • [comment link]
I would dispute that my correct answer should be disqualified for want of a vowel. It didn’t say anywhere in the rules that the Title, Author, or Heroine’s Name actually had to be spelled correctly.
darlynne said on 06.30.07 at 12:50 AM • [comment link]
Finally, a book I’ve read. But could I THINK of the title or anything else? N-O-O-O-O.
bam said on 06.30.07 at 12:56 AM • [comment link]
*stroking chin* Hmm…
JUDGE!
Lisa said on 06.30.07 at 01:06 AM • [comment link]
It is not misspelled to the point that we can’t identify which author she was talking about, though… hm… Reminds me of the art teacher who took off 5 points for each instance in an essay test that we misspelled chiaroscuro. 80% of the class flunked, btw. Because of that one word.
Kate said on 06.30.07 at 01:16 AM • [comment link]
I think we should all get credit for spelling the heroine’s name correctly. Jo BeverlEy’s novel was the first and only time I encountered someone named Rosamunde
Candy said on 06.30.07 at 02:15 AM • [comment link]
Dude, Kate’s our Winnah! Wooooo Kate!
(Spelling errors count in this contest only if they’re egregious.)
bam said on 06.30.07 at 02:59 AM • [comment link]
*sobbing into hands*
I’ll never win!
Carrie Lofty said on 06.30.07 at 03:20 AM • [comment link]
I love the word egregious now because of Johnny Depp. And I don’t love the word chiaroscuro. Congrats to Kate!
Baroness Huntinne-Muffine
Sarah Frantz said on 06.30.07 at 03:29 AM • [comment link]
I love the word Chiaroscuro because of that amazing Paula Cole song of the same name.
Congrats to our new peer.
-Baroness Bacqueseate
Tania HC said on 06.30.07 at 04:10 AM • [comment link]
I love the word cuntmonkey. heh heh.
Congratulations Kate!!
Marquisse de Swissheboucle
Candy said on 06.30.07 at 06:17 AM • [comment link]
Bam: Baby, you’re a winner—IN MY PANTS. Where it counts the most. You hot Pinay bitch.
Emily said on 06.30.07 at 07:12 AM • [comment link]
Just once, can’t the non-hero-hubby get a break? And a boner? Please? Even just a little one? Doesn’t even have to last all that long. Give him a chance.
Congrats Kate!
-Principessa de la Flarte/Baroness Bumpton-Ugleye
bam said on 06.30.07 at 09:50 AM • [comment link]
Awww, you’re just saying that.
Candy, you say the nicest things to me. I love you. *sniff*
Kate said on 06.30.07 at 03:14 PM • [comment link]
Oh WoW! I’m honored, humbled, and beyond excited! The only thing that would could me happier was if the Hoff came to San Diego for a book signing!
bam said on 06.30.07 at 08:36 PM • [comment link]
Kate, I live in San Diego too. :)
Lisa said on 06.30.07 at 09:13 PM • [comment link]
Bam, I will NEVER win because SBTB is firewalled at my work, so by the time the ads are posted and I get to them, someone else has already guessed it! My life SUCKS!
Darlene Marshall said on 07.01.07 at 10:14 PM • [comment link]
Congrats, Kate!
And bam, never fear. Someday you’ll leave the unwashed masses and join the ranks of the peerage.
Graciously,
Darlene, Duchess Twitterpants
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