Bitchin' Blog Posts
Mullet-Off: Getting Dirty
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | April 10, 2010 | Saturday at 3:07 am | 33 CommentsY’all. KristieJ is CHEATING. She ADMITS IT. She’s CHEATING in the mullet competition! Oh, the shame the shame.
She thinks a pre-glitter vampire Keifer Sutherland in a mullet is going to top TEAM USA?! Ha.
I give you the much-suggested Dog the Bounty Hunter. I didn’t want to bring him out unless necessary. But Billy Ray + Dog? It is SO on.
I mean, come on. He has shells in his mullet. Oceanic aquatic life is supported by the power of his mullet.
To say nothing of the Luuuuuuurve™ baby, the Luuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrve™.
The Dog mullet: you can’t beat it. You can only hope it stays within the United States borders.
I’m reloading the poll in this entry -so remember: the loser wears a mullet at RT and RWA. This could be epic win, yo. GO TEAM MULLET USA.
Filed: But...that's not really about romance novels, General Bitching
Tagged: mullets, mullet-off, kristiej, awesomesauce
Maisey Yates said on 04.10.10 at 03:18 AM • [link]
I mean, it’s a RACIST HAWAIIAN HAOLE MULLET. How can you BEAT that? You can’t. You just…you can’t.
KristieJ said on 04.10.10 at 03:22 AM • [link]
My Keifer leaves your Dog in the dust. PLUS!! I have video!
And you thought I was so nice - Bwhaaaahhhaaaaa!!
Maisey Yates said on 04.10.10 at 03:28 AM • [link]
Um…did you not see the Haole mullet? The sheer, magnificent glory of DOG THE FREAKIN BOUNTY HUNTER? Canuck fail.
She’s just jealous because we’re WAY more white trash on this side of the border.
Myriantha Fatalis said on 04.10.10 at 03:45 AM • [link]
But his mullet isn’t just supporting any ole oceanic aquatic life—it’s oceanic aquatic life shaped like vulvas! Now that’s a mighty mullet!
Anna the Piper said on 04.10.10 at 03:55 AM • [link]
Good lord, ladies, you really ARE bringing out the big guns here. ;>
But I STAND BY MY VOTE FOR MACGYVER!
Susan Helene Gottfried said on 04.10.10 at 04:07 AM • [link]
Maybe it’s a ‘burgh thing, but I gotta say, this is an awesome pick. It might even top Hetfield circa ‘91, but that’s an awfully high standard to strive for…
Jody W. said on 04.10.10 at 04:09 AM • [link]
Unless I’m misinspecting the pics, that’s not a mullet. It’s long hair with possible bangs, brushed back on the sides. Bangs do not a mullet make.
Cathy B said on 04.10.10 at 04:33 AM • [link]
Just in case of escalation, keep in mind the wondrous mulletry displayed on “Deadliest Catch”. It’s almost a pre-requisite to the captaincy. Note: The new captain of the F/V Kodiak, Wild Bill, is rumored to hail from Pennsylvania. But best keep that mum.
http://deadliestreports.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/deadliest-catch-kodiak-joins-the-fleet-season-6/
Annie said on 04.10.10 at 04:36 AM • [link]
Americans have a mullet festival!
http://cityofniceville.org/headliners.html
Nymesis said on 04.10.10 at 05:19 AM • [link]
Wow…gameover.
On the other note, I’m surprised there were no Mel Gibson mullets mentioned. I guess technically he is an Aussie, but he sported some mighty mullets back in the day.
Really, I don’t think that Dog’s mullet can be beaten. But I would like to see you try, Kristie. =)
Aimee said on 04.10.10 at 05:34 AM • [link]
SORRY, that’s a FAIL! Technically, what you have here is long hair with bangs (as someone also mentioned above). I left the same comment on Kristie’s blog.
And, while Dog is clearly classic redneck - of which this southern girl is very familiar - he is NOT sporting a mullet. At least not in this picture.
MULLET= short hair on top AND sides with long hair in back.
Lily said on 04.10.10 at 06:01 AM • [link]
In other words, business in the front, party in the back!
Jody W. said on 04.10.10 at 06:24 AM • [link]
Right. I keep seeing long hair misnamed as mullets. Get your ape drapes straight! Or permed, whichever you prefer. Another thing. A short haircut with a rat tail isn’t a mullet either, though a mullet with an additional rat tail is FABULOUSLY rodenty.
Brandyllyn said on 04.10.10 at 06:34 AM • [link]
I’m torn between wanting you to win on principle, and wanting to see you in a mullet.
megalith said on 04.10.10 at 07:13 AM • [link]
Here you go: For your viewing pleasure, a discussion of the various styles of mullet seen in the wild here. As modeled by David Beckham.
Enjoy.
JamiSings said on 04.10.10 at 08:35 AM • [link]
Just go over to PeopleOfWalmart.com - loads of mullets on both men and women to be seen there.
Anyway, the only man who made a mullet cool was Richard Dean Anderson, better known as Angus “Mac” MacGuyver.
True story - the reason Richard was cast as Mac was because when he went to read the script, he put his glasses on. Since he was the only actor to be humble enough to admit he needed glasses he got the part.
Kim in Hawaii said on 04.10.10 at 08:39 AM • [link]
This cross border contest is getting funny ...
... over at Kristie J, Maisey wrote, “Um…did you not see the Haole mullet? The sheer, magnificent glory of DOG THE FREAKIN BOUNTY HUNTER? Canuck fail. You’re just mad because we have the corner market on white trash.” I agree that my country has cornered the market on white trash.
”Haole” caught my attention, as it is a Hawaiian word for foreigners. It can also be a derogatory word for brash white Americans. Dog the Bounty Hunter would be called Haole for the latter reason.
Here’s a timely joke about Haoles from http://home.online.no/~tor-ma/jokes/haole.htm
What’s a haole’s idea of open-mindedness?
Dating a Canadian.
Maisey Yates said on 04.10.10 at 09:06 AM • [link]
Hope I wasn’t offensive with the haole thing, Kim. I know it is to some people. My hubby used to live in Hilo, but I’ve never lived in Hawaii so I’m a bit detached from it. :-)
Kim in Hawaii said on 04.10.10 at 11:54 AM • [link]
Maisey, no offense taken, it just was strange to see a Hawaiian word on a Canadian website! Yet, Hawaii is much like Canada - a mural of different cultures vs. the US as a “melting pot”. I learned this difference when I was assigned to a NATO unit and work along side the other North Americans - Canadians. The Canadian military are very proud of their diverse culture. And they make the best Moose Milk.
Sarah, if you win this bet, then I suggest you ask Kristi J. to make you Moose Milk (or instruct the bartender how to make it) as she wears the wig.
But nothing is assured ... as I learned Canadians can be very competitive! I once deployed to Greece with a flying squadron that included Canadian aircraft maintenance NCOs. Every morning, they used chalk to recreate a clock’s face on the aircraft’s wheel. After the aircraft departed, the Canadians took friendly bets of Greek Drachmas to see who could predict which number would be on top when the plane landed. Rest assured, we all worked hard during that peacekeeping deployment ... the Canadians just made it fun!
Kate Jones said on 04.10.10 at 08:25 PM • [link]
Though that pic doesn’t do it justice, I always thought Dog’s wife had a mullet, too. Does she count in the competition?
Lisa said on 04.10.10 at 08:49 PM • [link]
Sarah, that’s TWICE you’ve put non-mullets in your mullet collection. KristieJ gets my vote on principle.
As a fellow Yinzer - come on! We have plenty of real ones to choose from without resorting to combed-back ratty long hair!
AnnB said on 04.10.10 at 08:56 PM • [link]
FYI - Niceville, Florida’s Mullet festival officially celebrates the fish not the most wondrous and amazing hairstyle. (See this wikipedia entry - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mullet_(fish) for a picture.) But yes, there are at least a few folks with the hairstyle there as well!
Judy said on 04.10.10 at 09:07 PM • [link]
Did anyone catch this: http://www.ibeatyou.com/competition/1f9aeb/best-mullet
Christy said on 04.10.10 at 09:20 PM • [link]
I agree, not a mullet. There is not business in the front of this—Dog’s hair is all party!
belldandelion said on 04.11.10 at 01:46 AM • [link]
I think we’re all forgetting the American Beastie Boys coined the mullet in the first place. Oh yeah - and don’t forget Hulk Hogan; he has a classic skullet. :)
sweetsiouxsie said on 04.11.10 at 03:56 AM • [link]
Well, I found a picture of Johnny Depp sporting a mullet. It was from his “21 Jump Street Days”. Definitely, he was the sexiest man ever to wear a mullet do. It really looked good on him! OH!! Be still my heart! Catung! Catung! Catung!
AngelFire said on 04.11.10 at 04:43 AM • [link]
Ooooh, I’m sooo sorry Sarah! But LOST BOYS MULLET! Plus bonus, Singing in the Rain Mullet! HAWT! and HeartWarming! oo oo oo Sqeee!
Cheap Evening Dresses said on 04.11.10 at 08:46 AM • [link]
Ooooh, I’m sooo sorry Sarah! But LOST BOYS MULLET! Plus bonus, Singing in the Rain Mullet! HAWT
Maggie P. said on 04.11.10 at 08:58 PM • [link]
@ Jody and those Dog Mullet doubters, here’s a bitter pic:
http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2007/11/dog-bounty-hunter-larry-king.jpg
you can see the top is defiantly short here. The Dog has had a mullet since the dawn of time, every once in a while the “business in the front” needs a trim. Sometimes he gets so busy catching criminals it goes a little longer than it should between trims.
Jody W. said on 04.11.10 at 10:12 PM • [link]
I can’t see the pic of Dog, it just boots me to the main page. But when I searched that site for Mr. Dog, it showed me more non-mullet pics. There was one where he may have shaved a small section right at the temple? But still not a true mullet, he just has a long, unkempt mane of blond locks :). Mullets have no long hair until you get behind the “ear” line, IMO, says this child of the 80’s.
JamiSings said on 04.11.10 at 10:22 PM • [link]
@sweetsiouxsie - Depp is okay, but Richard Dean Anderson was WAY better!
Jessica L said on 04.12.10 at 08:13 AM • [link]
I had to vote for KristieJ because she had Barry Melrose in her lineup and I love Barry Melrose! He’s gross but kind of sexy. I feel dirty saying it, but sometimes lust cannot be explained.
I LOVE YOU BARRY! Call me.
lunarocket said on 04.18.10 at 12:52 AM • [link]
I know I’m late but I’ve been away for 3 weeks. Dog’s hair is NOT a mullet. It’s long all the way around, it’s just long hair. A mullet only has long hair in the back.
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