Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

I don’t understand what the problem is. I thought the picture was great, and didn’t see anything sexual about it-to me it was an interesting perspective on what a someone would wear while waiting for their loved one to come home. I don’t think that it’s “trashy” but a wonderful way to welcome him home. I hope that the return knocked their shoes off ;)

Um, she really misses her husband? What’s the big deal? Imagine, a wife misses her husband and wears something sexy to welcome him home. Why the hell not? Married women want sex too!

The sticker bothers me. Other than that, I dig the photo.

It is a brilliant photograph - eye-catching and stunningly well composed.

First, I must stress that I belong to an older generation, and I am not American.

Now, to me, the visual message is ‘vulgar and tasteless’ (‘trashy’ if you like), chiefly because of the bare legs with high heels, and the ankle tattoo.  The style of the shoes is fine, the colour could, in certain circumstances, be clever and pretty rather than tarty, the newness of the shoes is no problem.  But the tattoo and the unclad leg is pure Essex Girl / WAG (= footballers’ Wives and Girlfriends, bywords for flashy vulgarity).  Those are the things that, to me, totally demean something that should be touching and emotional.  Amazing how cultures differ, eh?

But it is still a truly fantastic photo.

Okay, this kind of thing makes me freaking nuts.  We just moved from Virginia, where my husband was on the Harry S. Truman.  As a Navy wife who has endured two separate deployments and even written a book about how hard it is on the family when your spouse is at war, I get awfully tired of people who haven’t been through it making value judgments. 

Cheap and trashy?  Are you kidding me??  So she missed taking a price tag off.  Do you have any idea what the few weeks before homecoming are like?  (Not to mention the long long months of being a single parent worrying about who was shooting missiles at your spouse . . . )  I was lucky to remember to even put shoes on, let alone worry about price tags, by the time homecoming came. 

Cheap and trashy??  It’s a long-standing time-honored tradition for the spouses, men and women, to get dressed up to welcome our husbands and wives home.  Really, after my husband put his life on the line day after day and was gone from me for half a year or more, what do people think I’d wear to celebrate his homecoming??  Spit-up stained sweatpants and old sneakers?

Cheap and trashy???  I have a degree or 2 and even graduated law school summa cum laude, and you can bet your red white and blue ass that I wore my share of stilettos to homecomings.  As I wrote in my book, there’s a reason why so many squadron babies are born nine months after homecoming. 

I applaud that woman, and I hope she and her husband enjoyed a marvelous homecoming.  Mine was usually so tired after flying halfway around the world that the first order of business was a long nap with the kids piled on top of him.  LOL.  But trust me, there was a joyous poignancy just in watching him sleep.

So many of our men and women never come home, except in a flag-draped coffin. We should all stand up and cheer for the ones who come home alive, and wearing fancy shoes while we do it is just frosting on the cake.

Jesus, can’t a bitch wear pretty shoes on a happy day? 

Seriously—to me, the picture was all about a woman greeting her husband after a long absence.  She wanted to look pretty, and dammit, she had the legs to do it.  Why go off and fight if you don’t have a damned good idea of what you’re fighting for?  I’m with you—I hope the sex was SPECTACULAR.  I hope military wives start a movement with pink fm stilettos that have ‘None of your business’ written up the sides of the heels, because if anybody deserves to look FABULOUS, make a first impression, and celebrate life in a big lusty HUMAN way, it would be someone who has waited 7 months to see her husband. 

But I’m not surprised at the ‘asexualization’ of the pundits.  In my experience (i.e., my high school staff room) the most easily offended people on the planet are the people who forget the basic animal human nature of our humanity.  Perhaps because women get constant physical reminders of our animal-human (menstruation, hormones, pregnancy, child-care etc.) we are less squeamish about announcing to the world that it exists, and that it deserves to be fed. 

Also (and this is fresh out of teaching Orwell, mind you), if her sailor is coming home with more on his mind than patriotism, that means he can’t put all his energy into defending his government, and DAMN IT, we can’t have that!

I quite like the photo, stickers and all. The fact that the stickers are still there tells me that she bought these just for the homecoming and was so anxious/excited to get there that she didn’t bother with the tags.

Alesia, I loved your line about your husband taking a nap under a pile of kids, what a lovely image to share.

Loved the photo– used to have a pair of similar style in pink dyed lizard skin. Those things hurt my feet. A lot. 

So where’s the sexy husband waiting for his wife picture?

I have to say, the only thing about the photo that bothers me is the price tag and size stickers on the undersides of her shoes.

Apart from that?

Love it.

Love the shoes themselves, think her tattoo’s cute, love the composition of the photo, love how personal it (and the caption) are (names), without actually showing us their faces, love the fact that it evokes that VJ-Day photo, love the fact that it is a happy photo, love the idea that she wanted to wear something special to welcome her husband home, but most of all, love the fact that her husband came home safe for her to celebrate. As a woman with a brother in the (British) Army, any celebration of boys in the Forces coming home, whatever form it takes, whether it’s a parade with speeches and a band, or a pair of new shoes and smexxing on the cards, is a good one in my book.

I like it. It’s great. I don’t know why any woman would feel embarassed about waiting expectantly for her husband to come home. If you love someone, it’s what you do for them.

Gawd .
Where’s the 4000 + photographs of the family members who pick up their returning military in coffins? Anyone want to pick on their shoes too?

In the big scheme of things what a non issue to choose to pick on. 

I"m glad her man came home safe and she was able to tart up for his homecoming!

As one who pretends to be a photographer at times, I think the photo is stunning, for several different reasons. It’s subjective, to be sure, but to me it certainly isn’t screaming cheap or classless or… anything negative.

I dare to ask, what if those shoes were navy, or black, or brown? Then what? Then nothing, I suppose. The photo might not have even been run, no one would talk about it. Just because those pumps are bold and sassy doesn’t mean a damn thing other than it makes a eye-catching picture. And what, degree’d professional women can’t wear shoes in bright colors? *snort*

I can’t speak for this woman, or any of the others who have been away from their men for a length of time while they serve, but I can say with pretty doggone certainty that I’d be dressing myself up and lookin’ my finest for my man when he steps off that ship. If that meant some cute little dress and hot pink heels, so be it.

Others might find a way to be offended, but I’m guessing her husband was not. Good for her.

That is a fabulous photograph.

I love you all.  Just wanted to say that.

That is a great picture!

Given the daily bombardment of depressing and heartbreaking news we see or read about the war or the economy, it’s heartwarming to see someone had something exciting to look forward to that day!

If I could pull those shoes off, I’d wear em too.

I think its a touching picture and makes me think of what a great homecoming they’ll have together. Who cares what we think about her shoes- its done for them, not for us.

Still wish I could pull off that look tho. I just end up looking like a boy in drag.

I think the photo’s great—hot and sweet at the same time. (Yes, take the stickers off). But even with the stickers it’s just a great image. Even the way she’s standing says anticipation, nerves, joy.

It works beautifully for me.

I see nothing cheap or trashy. I have an ankle tattoo myself, and never thought of it as cheap or trashy either. Hers is cute.

And I hope her sailor lifted her right out of those hot pink shoes with the first embrace.

~But trust me, there was a joyous poignancy just in watching him sleep.~

Awww. This actually made my eyes sting.

It’s only tacky if the shoes don’t match the dress.

Love the picture, the composition is fabulous, and it tells such a story in one image.  I hope their homecoming was memorable.

I didn’t realize that once I earned my degree, I had to give up the FM pumps, dammit.  Why don’t the guidance counselors tell you these things in high school????

Want to say that I think the stickers make the picture.  There’s something a little awkward and touching about that.

Award-winning photo, IMO.  Vivid, well-composed, tells a very complex and human story without anyone saying a word.    I hope they had an excellent homecoming.  Cheers to them. 

It’s only tacky if she tries to return the shoes after she’s worn them.  ;-)

Jesus, can’t a bitch wear pretty shoes on a happy day?

Well, that pretty much summed up my reaction to the anti-pink-shoes brigade.

On another note, my first reaction was, “Awwww, how sweet.”

I love the picture, and I love the sentiment in evokes.  Having been deployed and come home to find my man dressed up and waiting for me at the tarmack, I can say without doubt those shoes tell the entire story.  The rush of the day coming, the excitement about having someone to wear something pretty for again, the joy of knowing you’ll be able to be naked with your lover, the sights and sounds of others going through the same thing (even though it’s just like in that picture—hazy and out of focus, because at that time, it’s all about you and finding him), the knowledge that things are different, YOU are different, HE is different, but now it’s time to relearn each other and live again.

Anybody who wants to criticize that lady’s shoes should walk a mile in ‘em.

Also, I was squinting at the tag to see if I could tell what brand they were, because they’re cute!

Alesia~I LOVE how you expressed your feelings about this.  I have never been in your shoes (pun totally not intended!) but I’ve read enough milblogs and spouseblogs to have read about those crazy days leading up to homecoming.  A good friend of mine was late picking up her hubby because they kept changing the time and the last change said “they’ll be at the airport in 45 minutes!!” She lives an hour from the airport!!  I think she was glad to have her and the kids dressed and out the door in 5 minutes!!

I like the picture because it’s joyful to me. She’s waiting for her man and you can tell by the way she’s standing that she can hardly wait to see him.  I bet her man LOVED those shoes. 

Alesia and hubby~thanks for your service.

Oh, and the book Alesia mentioned is called “Emails to the Front” and I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants at some parts. Then in others I was dabbing at tears.  The email about artificial nipples still makes me giggle.

Loved the photo…damn, wish I had her ankles!

The stickers made the whole thing so human…we’ve all done that one!

I think it’s great!

1. I love this photo, for both its artistry and the joyous homecoming it represents.

2. I, too, find it interesting how many of the commentators on the original photo (not the Bitchery) were trying to desexualize the homecoming. Is that because they (subconsciously) want to distance it from the highly sexual cliches attached to the Navy (“spending money like a drunken sailor on leave” or “a girl in every port”)?

3. I think her tattoo is super-cute.

AgTigress, many Americans no longer wear nylons *at all*. Not to the office, not to the White House, not ever.

I’m in Canada and I haven’t seen nylons on anyone under 60 in five years. And it gets cold here.

Did anyone else want to take the esteemed professor from Old Dominion aside, slap him, and yell, “Snap out of it!”

Seriously—that photograph is all about anticipation and joy.  To try to overintellectualize it devalues the emotion.

And I’m with Nadia—I didn’t realize my degrees meant I had to give up the FM shoes.  If I had to give up the degree or the shoe wardrobe, I know which one would be going.  :)

I believe those are a pair of shoes I’m waiting to buy when they go on sale at a local store.  I recognize the color.

I see nothing cheap or tasteless about this photo.  The composition is incredible and the color of the shoes makes it stunning.  And since when are bright pink pumps tarty?  They’re cute, depending on whether her outfit matches.

As for the bare legs with heels someone pointed out, Norfolk Naval Station is in Virginia.  It’s summer, she’s waiting outside, hose would would get really uncomfortable fast.  She wants to look nice, not like an itchy sweaty mess.

The sticker, while it detracts some from the overall photo, definitely does not cause her to look cheap.  It shows that instead of wearing any old pair of heels she went out and bought a new pair.  You buy new heels for special occasions.  She might have even bought that color specifically to match an outfit she found and thought perfect.

Some people like to complain about anything.

I agree with Melani that the photo would likely have been no big deal if the shoes were a more conservative color and that really bites.  Maybe the woman just likes pink.  Or maybe she chose the color in order to make it easier for her guy to find her in the crowd.  Every picture I’ve ever seen of a returning ship looked like a total mad house and I can see wanting to do something that would cut down on the time it took to connect.  In any case folks really need to find better things to do with their time than criticize people who are already dealing with more than enough.

I had a mixed reaction to this photo:

1) I like it because, as was mentioned above, it’s just an example of skilled photography.

2) I like it because, as was also mentioned above, I find it problematic to ignore or deny the sexuality of these homecomings. This photo foregrounds it, and doing so is not in and of itself a “negative” or “sexist” thing to do.

3) I hesitate because I have always had an issue with the fragmentation of women’s bodies in photographs. Usually in the context of marketing and advertising, so, my issues might not fit this particular context. However, I have always found this (common) practise troubling because it a) negates the complexity of women’s identity, and b) situates that identity firmly in the body at the expense of the mind.

HOWEVER, that is not to say that women are not sexual beings. We are, and should be recognised as such. And female sexual identity should be affirmed. It’s only when that identity is presented at the exclusion of others that it causes me to pause.

In this particular case, though, when we’ve been talking about how sexuality is either ignored or denied in the context of these homecomings, perhaps a photo that focuses exclusively on this aspect is a positive thing?

Oh, complex reactions! At least they make me think!

The pink shoes tell a story.  The ankle tattoo and price sticker make it Jenny’s Story.

It’s all in the details.  The photographer knew this.

Jesus, can’t a bitch wear pretty shoes on a happy day? 

Good one Amy.  I think it’s a fun picture.  But sweetie, the stickers really must go.  Then again, I pick the brand labels off my jeans (if manufacturers want their advertising on my ass, they can pay me not vice versa).  Personally love my high heels, and finally bought $150 arch supports so I could keep wearing them.

Anyway, what did they want the woman to wear while greeting her long absent hubby?  Baggy sweat pants and flip flops…maybe Birkenstocks? Oh, welcome home honey (not). Yesh. 

IMO there is an American epedemic of underdressed women.  My son graduated from high school last week.  At the ceremony, there were significant numbers of women/parents wearing jeans & sweat shirts…some were overheard saying that was all they owned. Can we 86 them from the female sex? 

All the students were wearing matching caps and gowns, so what did I check out while they were walking?  The cute shoes of course!  Afterwards, I congradulated the appropriate girls on their excellent taste in footwear…and graduation too!

As a former newspaper photographer, all I could think was that it was a great shot. It conveys emotion and captures a moment that won’t ever happen again. I bet it’ll win awards, as I think it should! The sticker is funny - I’m sure she had no idea there’d be some photographer lying on the ground behind her. Bet she takes ‘em off next time! And yeah,

Jesus, can’t a bitch wear pretty shoes on a happy day?

PS - you guys are awesome!

it’s been a while since a post made me weepy and proud and glad to be female all at one time ... everything that Alesia Holliday said was all that needed to be said. She’s my hero now….

(and hats off to anyone who’s ever waited for a ship to come in with their returning warrior—- no matter what they were wearing at the time)

AgTigress, many Americans no longer wear nylons *at all*. Not to the office, not to the White House, not ever.

I know.  ;)  The same is true here in many social circles.  That is why I emphasised that I am elderly (as well as a foreigner), so that my bad-taste meter is triggered by things that may not raise an eyebrow amongst younger people. 

It’s interesting that the price-stickers are a troubling issue for some people:  that does not bother me in the least - in fact, I think it is rather sweet, emphasising the fact that the shoes are being worn for the first time on this momentous occasion.

I do think it is a classic photograph, which will probably still be famous many years from now.

codeword:  ‘woman82’;  well, I am not 82 yet.

It’s a great photo. I honestly wouldn’t have thought about/noticed the stickers if they hadn’t been pointed out, but now that they have been, I think the newness of the shoes is really poignant and sweet. And the heart tattoo on her ankle is like a caption to the whole thing. Pretty, sexy, legs crossed in anticipation, new shoes, great composition—it’s a great art shot.

You know, there are times when I get tired of sex, sex, everywhere, but this is not one of them. He just came back from war, for Christ’s sake. Bring on the life-affirming nookie. I hope she keeps the shoes on.

Alesia, you just made me get all misty and teary at work.

*sniff*

I love her shoes, stickers and all.

I love the photo. And to me, it conveys a lot of things. On the surface it’s a wife who wants to look hot for her hubby coming home, on a joyful and sunny day.

But I also see it as poignant. I see tentativeness and nervousness too—in the crossed legs, and yes, in the price sticker, which speaks to being anxious to look her best and buying a brand new pair of shoes to make sure she does. I picture her going shopping, picking out the dress, making sure her tan looks good. I picture her shaving that morning and putting on the new shoes. Spending minutes in front of the mirror. Fixing her hair and makeup. She loves him, she’s missed him, now he’s home. She’s jiggling with impatience, ready to see him.

I love it. I hope it wins awards. It should.

Hah. My submit word is national12.

Alesia Holliday,

Your post, the entire thing…right on. Standing ovation, m’dear.

I loved the photo on sight. My man isn’t in the military, but my dad was and I know plenty of people whose spouses are ATM or were. Thank the Lord for every single one of them.

As for the pic itself and it’s implications…I thought it was all things sassy and fun.

BTW, really nice post, SBSarah.

I love this photo. It’s perfect in every way for the article and the situation, IMO.

AgTigress, the thing that makes me crazy (and I see it all the time, even in ads for major department stores) is nylons worn with open toes shoes. T*A*C*K*Y

open toe. toe. not toes. where to those damn extra letters come from, and why do I only see them after I hit submit?

What does this photo say about the woman in it? She missed her man and she’s going to show him exactly how much she missed him as soon as she gets him home. Probably while still wearing those shoes.

What does this photo say about the photographer? Clearly he’s a leg man with a good photographer’s eye for a striking image.

What does this photo say about all the people who are upset about it? They need to get some. Really.

Once again we’re reminded that we are still a weirdly conflicted society when it comes to sex. Women with degrees and careers = not sexy. Women with good legs and hot pink shoes = not smart. The worst part is that this point of view seems to be more prevalent among women - and a specific class of women - than it is among men. The whole sex thing upsets this particular type of woman more than it did my high school physics nun, who told anyone who would listen that a girl should “experience men” before even considering giving them up to become a nun.

Someday our society at large is going to get that you can be smart, have degrees out the wazoo AND wear really sexy hot pink shoes. This I believe. . .

I love the photo. I think it ‘s a very emotional and special photo.
I am a military wife an a service member as well. When my husband returned from deployment last year I sincerely thought about what I would wear and how he would see me for the first time in a long time.
Once again we are faced with deployment in the next month and I imagine it will be the same again. You are seperated from your other half for long periods of time and you want to conect again. Men are very visual and why not dress up? I do.
I have seen so many military home comings, happy to see my comrads return and been part of them as well. It is amazing how those first few moment off the aircraft can be burned in your mind forever.
That lucky sailor will have the picture of his wife in hot pink sexy shoes! That is a lucky man.

It’s a pair of shoes!  What’s the big deal?

Absolutely absurd. That is a fabulous photograph. If my man was coming home from a seven month deployment I’d be wearing the shoes and nothing else. And dare somebody to say something. That woman has earned the right to celebrate her husband’s homecoming any way she pleases.

As an aside, I’ve got quite a few degrees myself and I own a very similar dress. What’s worse, I wear them with an exact replica of Marilyn Monroe’s ‘Seven Year Itch Dress.’

Of course, that should be similar shoes.

As a military member who went on a year-long deployment, I would juts like to say I would’ve loved to have my boyfriend/husband/whatever greet me all dressed up. But I was newly single and my friend who picked me up was in her work clothes: BDUs. It was awesome to see her, but I would’ve loved to be swept up in a hug like my friend Kip when his wife saw him. And yes, all the family members were dressed up.

My sister wears nice clothes when her husband (he’s in the Navy) returns from his deployments and she would probably kill to wear those shoes for him. People need to lighten up. And I like the sticker-it makes her seem human!

If my man was coming home from a seven month deployment I’d be wearing the shoes and nothing else. And dare somebody to say something. That woman has earned the right to celebrate her husband’s homecoming any way she pleases.

I couldn’t agree more.  I bet her fella liked those shoes, and who else really matters?  She was wearing them for him.

As a former Navy wife, I can say that I wore similarly sexy clothes when my first husband (whom I still care for) returned from a six-month deployment.  Man and wife + apart six months = want sex. 

Pink shoes are part of it.

The young woman has great legs, a wonderful tan, a very cute tat ... so what is wrong with that?  Lucky sailor who comes home to such a woman! 

IMO, some women simply want to degrade such charm because they don’t have it themselves.

I like the picture, and the stickers are my favorite part.  That little aspect says so much about buying something new and special, being rushed to get all the welcome home details done—it’s just great.

Actually, I liked the Old Dominion professor’s connection of this to mythic images like Penelope waiting patiently for Odysseus.  I think he has an excellent point.  I feel sorry for the letter-writer who felt that this photo somehow cast aspersions on military wives or devalued her professional degrees and standing.

By the way, I loved this
[
quote]you can bet your red white and blue ass that I wore my share of stilettos to homecomings

and this

We should all stand up and cheer for the ones who come home alive, and wearing fancy shoes while we do it is just frosting on the cake.

Thanks Alesia.

Dear Sarah,
I knew you would create a great article about the PINK SHOES photo and the local reactions to it! Thank you. I believe that those who responded negatively did so more because it appeared on the top of the front page of the paper that day. There were more “traditional” photos with the article on pages 10-11—with children, parents and children embracing, one couple hugging and kissing, and one of a wife’s back with a new tattoo of an anchor with a heart and “Sailor” in cursive below it.
Kay

AgTigress, the thing that makes me crazy (and I see it all the time, even in ads for major department stores) is nylons worn with open toed shoes. T*A*C*K*Y

LOL!  But I have just been told that Americans don’t wear nylons at all any more!  And I have observed that many youngsters in this country seldom wear them these days - though they will often wear much hotter and more constricting garments on the hottest days.  I think the younger generation must have amazingly tough skin;  I cannot wear anything other than a house-slipper on a naked foot for more than about an hour without getting blisters.

Details like this really do send different messages in different cultures:  in England, white stiletto-heeled shoes have a whole heap of associations, especially when worn on bare feet.  Red and hot pink shoes, perhaps surprisingly, are not bywords in the same way.  I think the shoes, in themselves, are pretty, and as people have said, the lady has great ankles.

The variety of reactions, even amongst the Americans here, is instructive, and shows how dangerous it is to assume that visual imagery works in the same way and conveys the same messages to all viewers.

Oh for fuck’s sake, I could deconstruct that photo much better than the stuffy old professor did. Grrargh. (But I won’t. I started to, but I won’t, because if I’m gonna go academic, I really do have other things I should be working on.)

Those shoes did not look cheap and trashy to me.  They looked like something only a truly confident woman could carry off.  She clearly wanted to look fine for her man—who quite likely got hold of a small bouquet of flowers for her before leaving the ship. 

I’ve seen plenty of homecoming footage and sailors nearly always have a handful of roses for their ladies.  How come no one is offended by that image of “bribery?” 

It is an arresting shot, and I suppose only a tight-ass would find it offensive.

On the other end of the spectrum it’s going to be a fav with foot fetishists.

Forget them.  There is a bigger issue here. 

The thing that REALLY matters—-

Her hubby is home safe, and I hope that they have a fantastic time together.

Hope it’s OK if I go off on a bit of a tangent, but the issue of cultural differences was raised, so I hope this isn’t too off-topic. In the course of a discussion over at Dear Author Robin wrote that “As for pedicures and fake tans — that’s the stuff of every CA strip mall, meaning cheap nail and tanning salons are EVERYWHERE”. A couple of people have mentioned the woman in the photo’s “tan”. I assumed that was her natural skin-colour. So in the parts of the US where it’s normal to either get very tanned naturally, or to use a tanning salon, is it normal for white people to get quite this tanned? Or is it just that the pixels in my aged monitor are making everything look darker than they are on other people’s computers?

A couple of people have mentioned the woman in the photo’s “tan”. I assumed that was her natural skin-colour. So in the parts of the US where it’s normal to either get very tanned naturally, or to use a tanning salon, is it normal for white people to get quite this tanned?

Yes, it is normal. Tanning season begins here in April, if the weather is warm enough; there are also lots of tanning salons. However, Candice’s legs don’t look that dark to me in my copy of the newspaper.

Kay

I love the picture.  It’s the type of thing that, if I were a sailor’s wife instead of a soldier’s wife, I’d try to buy a print of.

Secondly, I’m not a pink type of girl.  I’m a bright-ass, come eff me red type of girl.  I wonder how that would have gone over.

A few responses.

First, I love the picture. Love the shoes, love the composition—great pic all around.

Second, my only problem with the picture is hinted at in DS’s comment. Where’s the husband waiting for his wife? I know that the majority of military spouses are women, but I would like—just once!—to see a man waiting for his wife to be the iconic image. That OD professor’s comparison to the Odyssey put a bad taste in my mouth, b/c perpetuates the gender stereotypes that devalue women servicemembers’ participation in this war.

Third, about nylons in the US. It’s not that no one under age 50 wears them now. It has a lot to do with demographics. In certain parts of the South, for instance, I think they’re still expected for certain occasions. And FWIW, I think one major reason for their decline is the rise in open-toed formal shoes. Just a theory.

LOVE the picture, love the sentiment. This woman prettied herself up for her man, not because he expects it of her and his woman better look like he wants her to, but because she CHOSE to greet him in this manner. I think it shows her love (and yes, her lust) that she wanted to look good for him. Good for her.

AgTigress - What associations do bare legs with white stilettos have?  I am rather curious as I own a pair and usually wear them bare-legged since they are summer formal shoes, and I can’t stand hose in the heat.

confirmation word: play74 - I hope I’m as playful as Candice when I’m 74.

My first thought about the sticker—Military families with the main bread winner deployed often have a very difficult time financially and I hope she didn’t agonize over spending the money on them, because by Dog she deserves them.

If he came home in a casket she’d probably be wearing black shoes.  Her choice is the polar opposite—affirming life, love and happiness.  (IMO pink=happier than red)

The only thing I could say in favor of desexualizing the homecoming is that it’s hard enough on MANY MANY MANY couples.  To see that pictures gives people looking at it the idea that’s it’s “sexy times” as soon as that sailor gets home.  It’s time for kids and family.  And if you don’t have kids or other family around then it’s time to get the know the person before you bump uglies.

The funny thing is… they tell you NOT to get home and shag on the floor.  Why?  Main reason is that you’ve been away for so long and he/she has been through so much (possibly life threatening) that you REALLY need to get to know each other again.

To me the pink shoes scream “SEXAY TIMES!”  And not everyone wants or needs to see that at a homecoming.  You can look nice and make sure you look your best without making it sexual.  The first thing that should be in your mind is “Thank God they are home ALIVE” not “Do these pink shoes look hot?”

I don’t really care one way or another.  I just think it’s a stupid image to have up there.  The focus should have been on the men coming home.  Not on this stupid woman’s stupid shoes.

What associations do bare legs with white stilettos have?

They’re an Essex Girl accessory.

Still on the topic of footwear, someone mentioned Birkenstocks. They make them in a variety of colours, including bright pink.

Wow, Flo, talk about harsh.  None of us know nothing about this woman other than she cares enough about her husband and about seeing him for the first time in seven months to dress up.  For all we know, he loves her in hot pink.  Maybe it holds some special meaning for them.  Maybe she just wanted to look nice for her husband and who are we to judge in what way that desire manifests itself.

I live in Hampton Roads, my husband is currently deployed (for another 4 months) and I’ve been to many homecomings (7, at last count).  High heels, short skirts, fishnets and trench coats (with little or nothing underneath) have made their appearance on the piers over the years—in all kinds of weather—as have new babies, pregnant wives and girlfriends, proud parents and grandparents, and “life partners” who don’t ask and don’t tell—and don’t have to, because the pure joy reflected on their faces when they see their loves tells the story.

I saved the pink shoes picture—as well as one that was featured on the front page of the business section of the Virginian Pilot on the same day.  The business section featured a photo of Deborah Ransom, a 46 year old independent trucker, whose muscular arms flexed impressively as she pumped gas.  I think those two photos reflect different kinds of female strength—one woman who has put in seven months waiting for her husband, another woman trying to make ends meet in a very tough economy—and neither is offensive.

To anyone who finds the pink shoes offensive, I’d say walk a mile in them first.

Harsh… sure.  It’s my opinion.  If I had to go pick up my husband surrounded by high heeled chickies he’d ask ME why I wasn’t doing that.  Which would then create that awkward moment of “Shit I’m now inadequate compared to these other wives.”  Even if it’s just joking at that point you’re meeting again after a very long time apart so it’s hard to get back in your pattern of understanding jokes and real requests.

If you don’t think that happens after 6 months apart while he’s in a war zone… well you’re lucky then.

Maybe it is a special thing for them.  Deal is, it’s not just about them.  It’s about the entire unit getting home.  Trench coats, fishnets, I’ve seen it all.  And the more sexualized the person gets the more uncomfortable it is for others.  If you want sexy times.  Fine.  Go do it at home.  Where no one else has to see it.  Keep your private proclivities private.

I can honestly say that when I haven’t seen my husband for six months, I don’t really notice what anyone else is wearing or doing—I only have eyes for him.  Homecoming is a joyous occasion and service members (and their families) should be able to celebrate it whatever way they choose.  As long as it’s legal, of course. :) 

(Just an aside: If my husband ever said, “Why aren’t you wearing that,” he’d get left at the pier.  But I know he’s not looking at any other “chickie” but the one he married—and the one he’s going home with!)

So… they’re supposed to second guess what might make thousands of others feel uncomfortable and dress accordingly?

And I respectfully disagree that it’s not just about them, given what the other military spouses have said just on this board alone.  It seems as if for many of them, in that moment of homecoming, it is just about them—that the rest of the world fades away to the blurry background that picture depicted.

Dear Goddess…don’t people have bigger problems than other people’s shoes?  I sure as hell do.

Thinking more about the pink shoes in the photo, I’m wondering why they’re making everyone think about sex.  Whether I’d think of high heels as “sexy” would really depend on what was/wasn’t being worn with them, including what expression was on the wearer’s face. And possibly the style of the shoe, but in this case the shoes looked to me like a fairly normal pair of high heels, so to me they say “dressed up” but not “hyper-sexy.”

Maybe it’s because I associate high heels with Mrs Thatcher and 1950s fashion as much as with anything overtly raunchy.

You can bet your ass when my guy comes home from Iraq this winter, I’ll be in whatever shoes he likes best…spiky heels in the snow or Uggs!

And what a great picture overall!

Anything I say will pretty much echo the sentiments here, but as a former military wife (Marines thank you very much), this picture made me tear up remembering all the waiting and anticipation of my husband coming home. I think the photographer captured everything beautifully and it’s kinda cute that the tag is still there b/c taking it off was the last thing on her mind ;)

I love the picture. It’s a great shot of a very human moment anticipating joy. In the composition, there’s a lovely juxtaposition, too, between the pink and the whites and grays of the ship and its sailors.

I’m always slightly puzzled, though, at how much people see a single photo as representing more than it does. This is a photo of one moment; one woman out of thousands waiting for her husband. With 7,000 sailors returning on that ship, there’s probably 20,000+ people anxiously waiting for first glimpses of their loved ones.

It doesn’t matter whether Candice has a triple doctorate and squillions, or is from the wrong side of the tracks: her brand new pink shoes suggest joy and love for her husband, and I love catching a glimpse of that. If we had photos of those other 20,000+ plus people, there’d be a huge range of other moments, emotions, stories - some of which may share elements of Candice’s and John’s, others of which won’t - but each of them human and important. To read too much into a single photo probably says more about the commentator than the subject.

I wish we could all have pink-shoe moments of optimism, love, and joie de vivre!

I too am a military wife and loudly join in the rest of the chorus - the second you see your spouse coming off the plane/boat/etc. the rest of the universe just does NOT exist! It’s just you two. All the emotions come into play - happiness he’s home, gratefulness he’s home safe, terror and sadness at the coffins being unloaded and yes horniness that you’ll be able to sleep with him (whether it’s a long nap or passionate sex or any combination thereof)!

I tried on 4 different outfits, at least 5 pairs of shoes and ended up wearing an outfit he’d once told me made me look hot - AND HEELS (although they were blue, not pink). I couldn’t have cared less what other people wore and I seriously doubt they were looking at me thinking, “Oh Gosh, I’m so uncomfortable. Couldn’t that tramp wear something else?” They didn’t care and neither did I. I only wanted to see him.

Also, as a quick side note. Even in the desert or on ships, communications are a bit easier during seperations than they were in other wars. The guys usually have access to some form of email or vid-phones or telephone. I was able to “hear” from him at least once a week. So while we were thousands of miles apart and there were nights I cried my heart out (not letting the kids hear, of course) worrying for him, we were still able to talk to each other and that made it a bit more bearable.

Eve, a fellow military spouse

I love that picture.  It’s beautiful.  Not trashy.  Maybe you have to be away from your significant other to understand why someone would buy new, pink shoes and be a little bit nervous.
I agree.  I sure hope ALL the spouses who met their loved ones had a day, a night—hell, a WEEK—to kick their shoes off.

Hot damn, we’re alive!

That’s what the picture says to me.

Oh, for corn’s sake! 

I’m a professional photographer and I can tell you exactly what was going through that photographer’s head when he took that shot.  “Bright color!  Easy position for a cool depth of field shot!  Her ankles are even crossed cutely!  What a creative angle!  This is a great opportunity!”  He sprawled out on the ground with his camera in front of him and fired off a few frames.  At no point did any of the following cross his mind:  “I bet if I take this photograph, it will be interpreted as portraying military wives as cheep floozies who stand around waiting for their husbands, and that is precisely the image I wish to convey.” 

Nope, sorry.  That kind of forethought and planning and desire to convey a hidden message goes into studio shots, not into photojournalism, which is largely done on the fly.  The primary goal of any photojournalist is to illustrate true moments as they happen, and to appeal to your emotions by making you feel like you’re in the immediate situation.  They don’t plot out subversive ways to convey hidden messages to their viewers.

These people need to lighten up.  It’s a great shot.  I would love to have that in my portfolio.

God bless her pink-stilettoed, price tag wearing, tattooed heart!

The way her ankles are crossed, it makes me think she’s about to come out of her skin she’s so excited.

Our son serves on a fast attack submarine and recently got married. He’ll be leaving on deployment again in a few months. When he gets back, if his wife wants to wear pink stilettos to welcome him home, I’ll buy them for her myself!

What a shame that this woman is criticized for being happy her man is back safe. She’s more than earned the right to welcome him anyway she pleases by the sacrifices she’s made.

I wish every Sailor had someone waiting on the pier for them who was that glad to see them.

Picture of a woman?  It looks like an ad for shoes, or a not-terribly-original cover for yet another chick-lit saga about a woman with a fetish for expensive, uncomfortable footwear.  The WW2 picture showed two human beings embracing, not a pair of what my dad would’ve called toad-stickers.  Glad the lady’s husband made it home all right, but ... meh.

The thing I don’t like about the photograph is the awkwardness of the stance—it may be visually interesting to see the ankles crossed like that, but it doesn’t convey anything interesting to me about the human emotions behind the story (it doesn’t look like joy or anticipation and certainly doesn’t look sexy to me) and it just looks uncomfortable.

What a shame that this woman is criticized for being happy her man is back safe. She’s more than earned the right to welcome him anyway she pleases by the sacrifices she’s made.

I thought the criticism was directed at the newspaper for choosing to run this photo as the most prominent representation of the scene, not the woman for any reason.

I thought the criticism was directed at the newspaper for choosing to run this photo as the most prominent representation of the scene, not the woman for any reason.

Comments were made that the picture “conveys a message that military wives are cheap and trashy.”

You know what the photo says to me?

“Hot DAMN he’s HOME and I’m SO EXCITED I can barely restrain myself from running across the pier!”

We should all have a pair of cute sexy shoes to wear :) I’m not a military wife AT ALL (my partner’s a musician) but when we were separated last year (I moved across the country about a month before he could come), you can bet your ass I got dressed up, in my cute jeans and high heels, to go meet him at the train station!

It conveys a sense of thrill and excitement at the return of a loved one. People display it differently. To me the shoes, complete with stickers (and they look new, they’re not scuffed at all), tells me that she was excited and in a hurry and just wanted to get out there.  Good for her.

Everyone that’s got a negative opinion of it? *blows a raspberry*

“Everyone that’s got a negative opinion of it? *blows a raspberry*”

Well said…erm…well *sounded*

I was in the military for 12 years, my husband is, so is my brother and his wife, my father was, as did my husband’s father. I’ve been to a few departures and arrivals… And that picture froze a special moment that is, as the Bitchery often says, full of awesome and goodness.

As for the “pressures” and expectations pretty/sexy outfits and shoes create in others waiting for their loved ones, well, that’s a personal issue that they have to deal with. Plus, I’d be interested to know if those feelings of comparison and “inadequacy” aren’t really in themselves, you know, and have nothing to do with a girl in pretty pink shoes.

It’s unfortunate Candace was named because she’s being called cheap, tawdry and worse for everything from leaving the stickers on the shoes to having a tat.

Reading the comments, taking another look at the photo, I’m changing my mind about the stickers. I’m agreeing with those who said they show another level of her excitement.

It’s just a great shot. I like it more every time I look at it.

Re hose and heels. I only wear hose if I know it’s going to be cold. Re blisters: Slather feet in body lotion or hand cream before putting on those great pumps. It helps.

Great picture. I hope they had a wonderful reunion.

As for nylons - I won’t wear them unless I *have* to. The best invention I’ve come across recently are nylon footies that you can wear with pumps. They cover only the bottom of your foot and don’t show - preventing blisters!

That kind of forethought and planning and desire to convey a hidden message goes into studio shots, not into photojournalism, which is largely done on the fly.

But Libbie, a skilled photographer does this kind of thing ‘on the fly’ as a result of a combination of innate skill and experience:  the human brain can assess and weigh things up faster than any computer, and the fact that there has been no conscious planning, no conscious consideration of symbolism and sub-texts, does not mean that they are absent.  It simply means that the artist was good enough to hit the exact target without having to think about it.

We can all (I hope) agree that this is an outstanding, memorable photograph, and that it is a happiness to see military personnel returning safe and sound to their homes:  most other elements of the picture are seen through the filters of our individual generation, nationality, class, personal experience, and general cultural conditioning.

...in this case the shoes looked to me like a fairly normal pair of high heels, so to me they say “dressed up” but not “hyper-sexy.”
Maybe it’s because I associate high heels with Mrs Thatcher and 1950s fashion as much as with anything overtly raunchy.

Hear, hear - but we both see with British eyes.  High-heeled court shoes (Am. ‘pumps’) are traditionally regarded in our culture as quite formal wear:  bare legs are the ultimate in informality.  This is why the combination of stiletto heeled shoes - especially in a striking colour - with bare legs is a dislocation of what, in spoken language, one would call register.  It is the visual equivalent of being introduced to someone and saying, ‘How do you do?  I am so honoured to meet you!’ and following up in the same breath with, ‘Cor, mate, it ain’t ‘alf ‘ot today, innit?’  There is nothing wrong with either form of conversation, but it is a solecism to mix them.

To me, the shoes, even in pink, go with stockings and a tailored suit with a skirt:  the bare legs go with flat sandals and a full-skirted summer dress.  But I cannot emphasise too strongly that the implications strike people quite differently according to their culture and background.  We are all well aware (or should be) that the social messages of clothing are read quite differently in different quarters.  This is not a case of right or wrong, but simply of instinctive response. 

Although it was published quite a while ago (1981) I would still strongly recommend Alison Lurie’s The Language of Clothes on this subject - witty and accurate.  And Laura, it occurs to me that, though I enthusiastically wore stiletto heels when they were first fashionable in the late 1950s, it may have been that Thatcher association that caused me to give up wearing any high heels around, oh, about 1979 or so…
;-)

Re hose and heels. I only wear hose if I know it’s going to be cold. Re blisters: Slather feet in body lotion or hand cream before putting on those great pumps. It helps.

Bodyglide.  It’s the same stuff that long distance runners and competitive cyclists use to prevent chafing and blisters.  Never go to Nationals without it.  :-)

I didn’t realize heels and bare legs weren’t more or less usual in GB as they are in the US. It’s interesting.

I’ll second AgTigress’s recommendation of Alison Lurie’s The Language of Clothes (I read a revised edition, from 1992).

it may have been that Thatcher association that caused me to give up wearing any high heels around, oh, about 1979 or so…
;-)

I can’t hear the phrase “you know” used now without thinking about Tony Blair. I bet he wouldn’t have imagined that could be part of his “legacy.”

I didn’t realize heels and bare legs weren’t more or less usual in GB as they are in the US. It’s interesting.

The more time I spend on boards/sites with lots of US posters, and the more romances I read by US authors, the more I realise how very, very different the US and UK are. Not that I think I’m in any way representative of the norm in the UK (I’m not sure who would be), but there’s quite a lot of cultural background which people of the same nationality might share (even if they have different opinions about it), and there’s a lot of it that I wouldn’t ever have thought twice about until I came into contact with Americans.

This just made me grin ‘cause it reminded me of a family story:  In 1944 my sailor father invited my mom, to whom he was engaged, to take the train to NY and join him at the commissioning of a new aircraft carrier.  My mom (may she rest in peace) was a good girl, and assured my worried grandmother that she’d stay at a cousin’s house so there was no hanky-panky.

50 some years later I learned my mom bribed her cousin, checked into a hotel with my dad, and didn’t come up for air for three days.

Hot pink shoes send a positive statement of “Dang, I’m glad your home, sailor boy!”  I just hope someday we’ll see the shot of some stud wearing a leopard print thong and a long stemmed rose between his teeth, waiting for his sweetie to finish her tour of duty and return home to his arms.

The more time I spend on boards/sites with lots of US posters, and the more romances I read by US authors, the more I realise how very, very different the US and UK are.

This is so very true.  I have a fair number of good American friends, both there and here;  I have been reading American books for more than 50 years;  I have visited the USA more than a dozen times, including one stay of four months.  I still get caught out by words, turns of phrase, attitudes, beliefs and assumptions that startle me by their sheer unfamiliarity. 

Of course, at my age, there are many things about young Brits that startle me, too!  As you say, Laura, it is simply not possible to pin down who is ‘representative’ of any culture.  But it behoves all of us to be cautious in our judgements and to be aware of our own cultural conditioning.

The stickers on the bottom of the shoes are the best part of that picture. As moving as the images of homecomings are on tv, you can’t possibly understand the undercurrents of emotion that are present. If Candice is anything like me, she had spent the previous days with one thought running through her mind, “I am going to puke.” Mundane thoughts like removing those stickers wouldn’t have even crossed her mind. It’s pretty common for women to spend the few weeks leading up to a homecoming putting a great deal of thought into what they are going to wear that day. A lot of us look remarkably different at homecomings than we did when our spouses left. Some women pass the time by embracing a fitness goal and work hard to look fabulous on that pier or parade deck or tarmac. Some of us go from rail thin to 9 months pregnant or from 9 months pregnant to mother for the first time. Both of which I did during my husband’s vacations in Iraq. For many of us, we just want the first image our spouses’ see to be a perfect one. Maybe for Candice’s husband, those hot pink stiletto pumps are perfection. Who the hell is anyone to degrade her for that? I’m sure those same people would have thought my skirt was too short the first time I welcomed my husband back from Iraq. I’m sure I also wouldn’t have given a crap and the idea that I should dress down or contain my enthusiasm because someone else’s husband is an asshole is laughable. All the name calling and degrading of this woman over her shoes only makes me thinks that some people wish they had the legs or the balls to pull off hot pink pumps.

I can do no more than agree with almost everyone in that I think that picture is perfect! I hope she and her sailor had a wonderful homecoming! And shame on those who criticized her choice of footwear. Her life- her choice!

And as far as pantyhose- I don’t wear them unless it’s absolutely necessary!  Down here (Fla), I’d be likely to get a heat rash from the darn things most days lol! Though truth be told, I rarely wear heels, and kick them off first chance if I do… ;-)

Kelly, Warrior Princess! RRAAOW! (I like that, SB Sarah!)

You know, I only vaguely remember the last deployment Dad had - he was gone a lot when I was pre-memory, but got out when I was around 5 or 6. But even that last homecoming, when I was maybe 3 or 4, I remember being excited and scared and wanting to look pretty for Daddy.

It’s sad, the people who’re projecting such whore-ish images on Candace. They’re assuming her hot pink shoes mean she must be wearing some micro mini and tube top. But what if she had on a full, 50s style, bright pink and white frock (like something you’d expect to see Chuck from Pushing Daisies wear)? It certainly takes on a much different “feel” if you imagine her in something much more modest. (And even if she had on the shortest skirt and barest top possible, what business is it of people to judge what she’s wearing? Maybe it’s the outfit she wore when they met, updated with new shoes? Maybe it’s something they picked out together while he was gone? Maybe it shows off her hot new body, or her pregnancy, or any number of things.)

Ultimately, I think what you opt to take away from a pair of crossed ankles in pink patent heels says much more about you than it does the photographer or the model. And keep in mind, it’s easy enough for people to Google their name and see what comes up about them - how, precisely, would you feel if Candace showed up here to see what people were saying and got to see people chiding her, or calling her a whore, because of a photo someone else took of her feet while she was waiting for her sailor?

Actually, I thought it was kinda cute. The fact that she didn’t take off the price tag makes me think she was so excited to have her man back, she ran off to buy something new to wear for him. I’m really tired of women turning on other women for their clothing choices. A pair of pink high heels says ‘trashy’?  Since when?  Can you even see the outfit she has on?  Maybe it’s a particularly sweet pink sundress. Who the hell knows?

What I would have liked, though, was an image of a man’s shoes and bare legs! The navy has a TON of women now. What about the guy who’s waiting at home for his lady to come back?  Now that would have been nice!

More power to the woman who bought the shoes she wanted and wore them! I won’t judge her on her shoe choices, if she won’t judge me for wearing slob clothes most of the time.  :-)

After ten years in the Navy I can say the pink shoes are fine.
It was the mom jeans or bikini tops I always thought were tacky.

Now if you really want to be cutting edge take a picture of the sailor in civies next to her trying not to look excited “not gay” waiting for his SO.

Actually, I rather hope Candice DOES get to see some of the comments here—almost everyone is supporting her, which is a hell of an improvement over those newspaper articles. :/

I was figuring the photographer actually picked her out for the price-tag, to emphasize the “specialness” of the event for those involved.  I thought the shoes were kinda tacky, but that’s just my taste, and she is dressing for herself and her husband, not an audience, whether the crowd around her or the viewers of the newspaper. I’m sure she knows her man’s taste and that he loved her shoes (even if the love took the form of “aww, that’s my baby and why do women buy so many shoes?”).

As for nylons, I think the “rules” for wear vary drastically with demography, weather, formality of event, comfort of shoes, etc.  I am 30ish and grew up in San Francisco, where nylons were pretty standard, but no one would have thought anything of someone NOT wearing them except at maybe a black-tie event. Now I’ve moved to Santa Rosa, which quite hot, and I hardly ever see anyone wearing nylons. I’ve only worn a pair once since moving here, and that was because I bruised my shin.

I wonder if JulieAnn Singleton-Smith’s husband ever returns home to his sensibly and professionally clad wife and looks over at his buddy being greeted by a hottie in pink stilettos and thinks “Wouldn’t it be nice if….”

You know what is, in a tangential way to the military wife issue, quite sad about all of this?  That so many women, such as the commenters to the Virginia paper (not, I"m thrilled to say, most of us here at SB) are spending so much time judging another woman on her appearance.  We’ve just had a woman get thisclose to the presidency, and yet many of us are still wasting time and brain cells in this kind of catty speculation.  I hate to see snarky bitchiness from women about women, and it makes me wonder what we could accomplish if we’d let it go.  Maybe it’s because I came to writing from a male-dominated profession, but I’ve worked with an awful lot of guys and I’ve never heard them passing judgment on another guy because of his shoes.

Remember those commercials where the two guys were in the bar and one asked the other if his thighs looked fat?  It was so funny because it was so unexpected.  I’d love for my daughter to grow up to a day where it would be unexpected—rather than commonplace—for women to cut down other women because of their appearance or clothes.  Just living in a fantasy land, I guess.  Although I do think I"m going to wear my own pink stilettos when my husband comes back from his next deployment . . .:)

This is apropos of absolutely nothing else in this thread, except I did something heinous and now I can’t correct it:

I wrote “you” instead of “you’re”. 

I know, I’m writer scum. 

Anyway, since we’re mentioning the women coming home from deployment as well as the men, check out Band of Sisters by Kirsten Holmstedt.  Fascinating tales of American women serving today.

I’ve never heard them passing judgment on another guy because of his shoes.

Probably not, because most men don’t talk as openly about clothing as many women do, but this does not mean that they are oblivious to the visual impression made by clothing and personal presentation.  Men, like women, do judge other men initially on their outward appearance.  We are a visually-oriented species.  There are plenty of powerful stereotypes about male dress and personal presentation, and they operate just as much in the USA as in other countries.

A man might not say to a friend, ’ And my dear, you should have seen his SHOES!’  but he might easily form a private opinion that he didn’t have much in common with some other chap without even analysing that the latter’s clothing and appearance had triggered that feeling.

But do they match her purse?  That’s what’s gonna make or break the look.

Holy cow, the Lurie book is $25 on Amazon.  I’ll have to look around local stores to see if I can find a copy.

I agree with AgTigress that men notice clothes even if they don’t run a commentary with a buddy afterwards.  One important aspect is how a man’s tie is knotted.  If it’s sloppy, I guarantee you other men in the room noticed.

I love this picture!

The caption made my mind blossom up a short story around a reuniting military couple, and the pink shoes were a symbol.  My couple had been negotiating a big, life-changing decision, and it was all resting on her, and the pink shoes signified her agreement.  So, when hubby gets off the ship and sees the pink shoes, he knows instantly that she’s made a decision, and it’s the one he wanted her to make, so not only are they together again after an extended separation, but their life is going to change hugely in a positive way, and he knows it just by seeing her.

Or, the pink shoes are a visual shorthand for I love you, and I’m not wearing any underwear.  Or, I love you, and I caulked the bathroom last night, hugs and kisses, honey!

Or, if it were a man waiting for his wife, he could be wearing a visual symbol, too.  Like a pearl necklace because it’s an inside joke, or a cowboy hat, because it, too, is an inside joke and a non-verbal message.  Or he got his nose pierced.  Hmn.

Happy sigh, hugged by my own arms, big romantic girlie moment.  Excuse me while I write this nascent story idea down.

normal91 - not really normal, and certainly not 91.

Also, I almost never take stickers off the bottoms of my new shoes, because it mostly just leaves a gluey mess with bits of torn paper behind.  I guess I’m just tacky.  Like glue.

...men notice clothes even if they don’t run a commentary with a buddy afterwards.  One important aspect is how a man’s tie is knotted.

Or, of course, whether he is wearing a tie at all.  This is about register and appropriateness again.  There are circumstances in which jeans and a T-shirt are suitable, and wearing a 3-piece suit, white shirt and tie would raise eyebrows.  And vice versa.

:-)

Clothing, and the messages it sends.  Way back when I was starting out as a secretary, er, administrative assistant (late 1980’s), I watched a video about presenting the appropriate image, and the thing that I can remember about it is that the presenter said that the more skin a person shows, male OR female, the less corporate power they’re perceived to have.

And I guess it’s true.  If you see a man in a short-sleeved shirt, you know he’s not the corporate big-wig.  The chick in the miniskirt isn’t the president.

...although it depends on the type of company it is, and what the context is.

On second thought, never mind :)

As an Air Force wife who’s facing her husband heading to Iraq in less than a month I have nothing but love for that photo. It shocks me a bit that people can’t think past a pair of pink shoes and wrap their heads around the fact that this woman’s husband was coming home.

Safe and alive.

That’s all that matters.

Bless her and all the other military families who face long days and nights alone not knowing if they’re ever going to see their loved ones again. Bless the ones who get to wear pink shoes to greet their husbands, and the ones who probably don’t even remember what color their shoes were when they went to pick up a flag draped coffin.

I think its damn sexy - a great picture.

Damn, that reminds me, people.  I need to go shoe shopping for a pair of CHEAP AND TRASHY HOT PINK HEELS for the Harlequin party at RWA Conference. Oh, and so I can trip Nora at the escalators again ;-).

Oh FFS! Seriously the things people get up in arms over!  It’s a pretty picture, stunning in the contrast of the vivid sky and the shoes. As for the bare legs, I rarely see women in hose during the days in the summer, I don’t wear them and letters behind my name notwithstanding, I don’t think it’s trashy or vulgar at all to not wear hose in the heat. (although I do have these nifty little hose inserts I wear under the shoe. I got them at a dance wear store - they fit my foot but you can’t see them outside the shoe at all) This could also be a coastal thing, I can’t speak for east coasters but I grew up in Southern California and have been in the northwest for twenty years and I rarely see women in hose in the summer - and tights are the norm up here for the winter.)

Back from tangentland here - the photo is poignant - she’s got her legs crossed in a way that shows her anxiousness and yes her stickers are still on the bottom but goodness if I hadn’t seen my husband in a year and worried he’d be killed every day, I don’t know if I’d be thinking of pulling the price tags off the bottom of my shoes anticipating this photo, LOL.

I don’t really know that I can say it any better than anyone else has. It astounds me that anyone could have anything negative to say about that photo. As has been pointed out already, to me it clearly says, HE’S HOME!!!! And I can’t wait to celebrate in the MOST FUN WAY POSSIBLE!!!! and look good doing it. Someone else also already said the price tag still stuck on the shoe just shows that she had more important things on her mind as she waited for her hubby to finally return home safe and sound than whether or not her freaking shoes still had a tag on. Who gives a sh*t? She certainly doesn’t—and I’ll bet her husband didn’t either. He probably thought they were fantastic and was focused on how hot his wife was and how great that she got dressed up just for him. Get over it people. The editor probably went with it because it was something different, not the father hugging kids/wife photo we’ve all seen a million times. In my opinion this shot is just as fabulous as the shoes. If I was subbing for my editor and I had that photo, I’d make it the lead too. Oh, and where did she get those, because I want a pair ... Guess I’m just a cheap tramp at heart.

“asexualization of the military”

This caught my eye as I read an article last quarter for school that discussed how we construct the “goodness of America”. The author, Benedict Anderson, commented about the military twice, but the second time he talked about our youth in the military as a symbol of strength, vitality and virility; of a celibate fraternity. He goes on to suggest that that is why there have been so many issues with gay, lesbian, and female soldiers. It makes “possible” sexual love.

I’ve clearly spent WAY too much time on Project Rungay’s blog because my first thought regarding the appropriateness/inappropriateness was, “Well, I’d have the see the dress, wouldn’t I?”

That photo is utterly brilliant. It highlights everything romance is about - anticipation, love, excitement…good shoes.

As for people desexualizing the homecoming of soldiers, Americans have such a twisted identity when it comes to sex this isn’t terribly surprising, IMO. These people take themselves way too seriously and they should learn to have fun.

Being ‘serious’ doesn’t make you a better American - acknowledging the sacrifices of the men and woman of the armed forces does. Because of them we live in a country where women can where hot pink shoes and not be stoned as a harlot (Iraq) and we have unfettered access to the internet (unlike China) - we owe it to those serving to wear pink shoes to celebrate and remember what this country was founded upon.

Can you tell I come from a long line of men who served? :)

Hi Sarah! I’m just going through the comments again. Yep, I’ve been home for about six weeks now. It’s fantastic! But the waiting for him to get home next…that really sucks!!! Somehow it’s easier when you’re both deployed…

Wow, so much fuss over a pair of pink shoes…

My honest first thought - I’d never be comfortable in a pair of shoes like that.  I always feel too wobbly and off-balance on heels that high.  So the fact that she’s wearing them suggests that she’s got far more balance than I - or at least isn’t worried about falling in the heels.

Second thought - I guess she likes pink.  Many people do, though I’m not big on wearing it.  And this is a very bright pink, not a powdery pastel.  It’s PINK! not pink.  She’s clearly not worried about what other people will say about her color choices.

And yes, I do hope that the shoes coordinate well with the rest of her outfit.  Good for her, wear whatever she feels suitable and appropriate for welcoming her husband home - note the key word.  What SHE feels suitable and appropriate.

Personally, I’d half expect her to be more freaked out that someone was crouching/laying behind her snapping photographs of her legs than the discussion about her shoes.

As for the tattoo on her ankle… so what?  If she wants on, why should the rest of us care?  I bet she has an assortment of heart shaped jewelry to coordinate with that little heart.

entire62 - no, I’m sure more than 62 people are too worked up.

Talking about Project Runway let’s all quote Tim Gunn…

Don’t defend the shoe to me!

I think that some people are straying a little from the point here.  I took us to be discussing the semiotics of that wonderful photograph - the style and colour of the shoes, the price-sticker, the pose, the bare legs, the tattoo - and thus the vastly different symbolic messages all those elements convey to different people.  Clothing is a language, and we cannot avoid conveying meaning to other humans by what we wear.  Likewise observers cannot avoid perceiving meaning, though some will understand exactly what is meant, and others will misunderstand.

We could also simply discuss the aesthetics of the photograph as a visual image - the choice of focus and depth of field, the colour contrast, the low viewpoint, the extreme cropping - and some of us have done that a little.

Neither of these things is the same as discussing the emotional impact on society and individuals of war and the separation of couples and families, let alone the individual woman who is wearing those shoes (even though she is named).  I can understand why some, especially if they have experienced these stresses at first hand, are offended by any negative comments on the personal taste so vividly conveyed by the picture, or are simply irritated by the ‘fuss’ over a pair of shoes, but I think it is interesting, and quite important, to be aware of the wide range of responses aroused by a particular image.

One of the most common reasons for misunderstanding is a lack of awareness of cultural, regional, class and generational differences.  We can easily unwittingly offend people by choosing words that are perfectly unremarkable in our own society, but have different nuances in another.  Nobody wants to give offence unintentionally, nor do we want people to draw false conclusions about us from the way we look and dress and act, so learning about the different ways in which different people interpret these things is valuable.  Greater awareness of the subtleties aids understanding and empathy.

What a sweet and poignant picture.  And how small-minded of those who think the subject is trashy for wearing them and OMGWTFBBQ, without hose too.

Chickie there’s probably crossed her ankles so she’s not bouncing up and down on her toes. Having just driven myself and my Mum home from sending my Dad out to the Middle East I say good on the girl.

And to those who complained about the fact an image that wasn’t of a family got the front page, how do they think these military types get a family? Wishful thinking? The American reverence for the military (trust me, your guys get a heck of a lot more respect than ours do, usually) seems to forget that ‘our boys and girls’ are human and shagging’s as much a part of that as wanting to hug our children and rejoice that we’re all alive and together.

I love this picture.  I love the pink shoes, I love the price tag.

To me, this picture is poignant and lovely. 
The tag says that she was too busy preparing for her soldier’s homecoming to worry about taking a silly tag off a pair of shoes.

Her crossed ankles say to me that she’s really excited and trying to restrain herself from jumping up and down/running to her husband and making a spectacle.

Finally, her tattoo makes her accessible.  1/4 of Americans under the age of 45 have tattoos.  Why should an army wife be any different from the rest of us?

Is it terrible that I covet those shoes?

1/4 of Americans under the age of 45 have tattoos.

That is such a perfect example of what I am talking about with the issue of cultural conditioning.  To a young American, the tattoo is therefore a comfortingly familiar, ‘accessible’ element:  to an old Brit, it is a deeply alienating one.  To you, the tattoo says, ‘here is someone just like me - I feel for her’.  To me, the tattoo marks her as a person with whom I have very little in common:  she belongs to a different generation, of course, but also to a culture in which the older associations of body mutilation have been turned on their heads and have become normalised.  This is very disturbing.

Please do not misunderstand me.  I am not criticising the vogue for tattoos as such - the practice is far more common in this country than it used to be, too, and the normalisation of a formerly subversive symbol is a common, indeed a standard, process.  All I am saying is that for me, the sight of a repectable young woman wearing a tattoo, even a discreet one, is still startling.  (I remember noticing Ms. Roberts’s ankle tattoo - and her extremely elegant shoes - at the 2003 RWA conference, and doing a double-take).  A parallel is the wearing of an ankle-chain.  I don’t know if it ever had any significance in the USA, but I was very taken aback when there was a brief vogue for gold ankle-chains in, I think, the 1980s, because they used in earlier decades to be worn specifically, and only, by working girls (professional prostitutes).  I suspect that everyone over 40 at that time who saw a nice young woman sporting an ankle-chain gasped at first, but the wearer would have been innocently oblivious.

I am not making value-judgements here.  I am not saying that tattoos are bad.  I am saying that the range of associations for me are very different from the associations for most of you, and thereby trying to point out the importance of cultural conditioning - and the importance of understanding and looking beyond it, of understaning the essential superficiality of a stereotype, analysing, and often rejecting it.  The fact that there were some negative comments in reaction to the original newspaper publication of the picture shows that some responses even within the USA hold echoes of the strictures that I have described.

And I LIKE the picture, I defend strongly the lady’s right to wear whatever shoes and body-decoration she likes, and I am glad that her husband made it home safely.  This is not about her:  it is about tradition, culture and semiotics.

Apologies for a couple of typos above.

No ‘edit’ button that I can see.  :( 

Your tattoo sounds unique!  Of course, a decoration that is seen only in intimate situations is different from one that is visible to every passer-by.  It is lingerie rather than outerwear, in that it speaks only to people, or a person, of your choice, whereas tattoos that are visible in ordinary day-clothes are part of a public persona.  The discreet little ankle tattoo in the pink-shoes picture is a mere whisper;  one might chat to its wearer every day without even noticing it (or, if one is observant but short-sighted, simply assuming she has a slightly bruised ankle).  But there are many tattoos around that are in-yer-face aggressive shouts, highly visible if their owner is wearing an ordinary short-sleeved, scoop-necked summer top, let alone an off-the-shoulder evening dress or a swimsuit.

I love that picture!

And ditto on everything Alesia said.

Every time my husband came off a long patrol (he’s in the Coast Guard, and currently at a desk job, but we’re going back to boat life next year,) I met him at the boat, dressed to the nines.  I dressed different for each return home, so he’d never know what he was getting.  (And let me just say, there were some rather…shocking…moments for him when we’d get home and he’d discover what was under the long coat! *g* )

It was a treat for both of us.

These guys are gone for a long time, and if a military wife wants to “tart” up a bit for fun, who is to say that’s wrong?  Maybe the tattoo is fake, maybe the shoes were bought for fun, and the person wearing them normally wears suits, a bun, and no makeup to her doctorate-degreed job?

Or maybe she always wears pink shoes, is tattooed up to her eyeballs, and has half her teeth missing. 

Does it matter?  She’s there to greet her husband.  I know a LOT of wives who have sent their husbands off to Iraq and didn’t even bother to drive them to the base to say goodbye, and who, when they return, make them find their own ride home.  (My brother’s wife was one of them.)

So I really, really do not see the issue here.

Oops, my soapbox just keeps growing, doesn’t it? LOL

Yawn. Another piece of propaganda glamorizing war.

Another piece of propaganda glamorizing war.

That’s an interesting interpretation, and while there is a lot of such propaganda about, I don’t actually perceive it at all in the sub-texts, either conscious or subliminal, of this particular picture.  On the contrary.

The image makes reference to the safe return of troops that have been on active service, and to the joy and relief arising from that return.  But that very response in itself depends on the knowledge that safe return is far from inevitable:  that some partners and families are not able to experience this relief because their loved ones do not return alive and well.  If all members of the armed forces came back safely as a matter of course, a picture like this could not exist.  It would be no more intense than a picture of someone welcoming their partner back from a few months abroad on a teaching or other professional exchange programme, for instance, a separation that might be irksome, but not dangerous and frightening.

Because that difference is implicit in the image, because we are being made to realise that safe return is not a foregone conclusion, I fail to see how it ‘glamourises’ war.  Could you analyse and explain your interpretation of the symbolism more fully?

Wow, Hellbound Alleee. Nice display of compassion there.

I hardly think a woman waiting for her husband’s *return* from war glamorizes war. But if you want to continue making the anti-war segment of the population (I’m one of them) look bad by refusing to acknowledge the struggle of those who have no choice but to fight…go right ahead.

AgTigress, your answer is much better than mine. :D I haven’t had my coffee yet.

~Yawn. Another piece of propaganda glamorizing war. ~

How?

I got to the party late, but….FWIW:

I love the picture, the implications of the pose the everything.

I hate hot pink. I hate high heeled shoes. I, too, think they look slightly trashy.

But even ‘slightly trashy’ people fall in love, and eagerly await the return of their lovers from dangerous sitations. I don’t care if she is a ten dollar whore, someone she loves is on that ship and as such, she deserves to be wholeheartedly congratulated on his safe return. And even more congratulated that she went to welcome him home instead of hiding in shame, as some people seem to think she should have.

And yes, I do slightly detest the personal snobbery that makes me think people are “trashy”. No one, regardless of their class or status, is trash. I’m getting better about it, the farther from my family’s rather moribund and unpleasantly Victorian values I get. :-)

Yawn. Another piece of propaganda glamorizing war.

Your flippant comment suggests you know absolutely nothing about the US Navy and have never lived in a military town.  Let me clarify something:  Navy ships go to sea regardless of what’s going on in the world.  It’s their job.  Year in, year out, in all kinds of weather, there are families standing pier side saying goodbye to their loved ones or welcoming them home after a long absence.  The Virginian Pilot and local news stations do an excellent job of covering every one of those somber deployments or joyous homecomings regardless of whether it’s a time of war or a time of peace.  It’s not propaganda—it’s respect.

So many great responses, so little time to read them all. 

My thoughts on the picture/controversy?  I’m jealous I don’t have the legs to make shoes like that work.  And I’ve always thought that so many problems in this world come from when we stick our noses where they don’t belong.  I’m much more concerned about the military having adequate health care and education benefits - a problem that legitimately belongs to all citizens, since the military serves our country - than the style in which their families are dressed.

Alesia, you said it all so beautifully.  I wish you and all military families, including Ms. Knilans’, many moments of joyous poignancy.

Thanks Nora, for the suggestion on lotion for stockingless feet and heels - I’ll have to try it.  Although I still don’t have the legs for those shoes.  Darn.

It might amuse you to know, AgTigress, that nearly every woman I’ve ever seen who habitually wears an ankle bracelet is older than I am, and quite, quite respectable.  I’m 55.  I do believe that the “fad” is rather older than the 1980s, to judge by their ages.  I know one lady in her 70s who has been wearing one for a good 40 years. Of course, again, these are US trends.

I think it’s um…bootless (ahem) to generalize about clothing and jewelry fads or what they mean about a person’s general status or demeanor from across an ocean.  My mother forced me to wear horrid little white gloves and hats until I was 12.  One would have though that would have made me grow up into a lady, wouldn’t one?  Ha!  I’m just as much of a smart bitch as the rest of this gang, and I’m not wearing pantyhose today myself , since it’s a roasting 85 in my home town.

...nearly every woman I’ve ever seen who habitually wears an ankle bracelet is older than I am, and quite, quite respectable.

LOL!  So if there had been British soldiers in the USA during the Second World War rather than GIs over here, there would have been some very, very major misunderstandings as they confidently propositioned those virtuous ankle-chain-wearing American young ladies!

Right on, Kristina Wright! The Marines deploy year round in times of “peace” as well. I don’t believe that the Army or Air Force does with the same frequency, but homecomings are not wartime only occurences.

They’re just friggin’ shoes. Does the photo imply that she’s trashy & is a reflection of every military wife’s lack of morals? Most likely “yes” on the first, & “Nah” on the second. People who call this photo “offensive” or stereotypical need to get a life. They can cry “stereotype” all they want, but there’s no denying the lack of opportunity in a town surrounding a military base. Usually, that military base IS the town. There is little civilian work available, & most businesses appeal or cater to enlisted individuals. Ex) strip clubs, car lots, tatoo shops, resturaunts & pawn shops & really cheap civilian housing (trailer parks & apartment buildings) because most enlisted people cannot afford a mortgage or much rent on military pay & choose to remain on base. I’m sure one can imagine the pool of interesting local ladies these guys have to chose from. Hence, the stereotype of trashy military wives.

They can cry “stereotype” all they want, but there’s no denying the lack of opportunity in a town surrounding a military base. Usually, that military base IS the town.

I have to imagine you’re not very familiar with the Norfolk area.  Nor, I guess, the role of civilians within the military environment.  The Department of Defense (DoD) hires over 600,000 civilian employees world wide, over 32% of whom have a bachelors degree or better.

Norfolk is the DoD’s largest Naval complex, employing over 78,000 people. (http://www.defenselink.mil/pubs/dod101/dod101.html)

Norfolk is a thriving community in its own right.  Granted if the Navy left, it would affect the local economy, but the Navy is not the entirety of it (http://www.norfolk.gov/about/).

I’m sure one can imagine the pool of interesting local ladies these guys have to chose from.

I happen to know quite a few of the “interesting local ladies” from the Norfolk area.  Some are lifelong residents of Virginia; others are ladies such as my cousin’s wife, who is college educated and moved there when my cousin was assigned there.  I have to think I possibly have greater insight into the “pool of interesting local ladies” than someone making inferences based on a pair of bright pink shoes.

She’s got sexy, brightly colored, cheerful-looking shoes to welcome her husband home in. Good for her. I hope she and her husband had an awesome reunion, too.

Brava Alesia Holliday!!!

and you can bet your red white and blue ass that I wore my share of stilettos to homecomings.  As I wrote in my book, there’s a reason why so many squadron babies are born nine months after homecoming.

I applaud that woman, and I hope she and her husband enjoyed a marvelous homecoming.  Mine was usually so tired after flying halfway around the world that the first order of business was a long nap with the kids piled on top of him.  LOL.  But trust me, there was a joyous poignancy just in watching him sleep.

So many of our men and women never come home, except in a flag-draped coffin. We should all stand up and cheer for the ones who come home alive, and wearing fancy shoes while we do it is just frosting on the cake.

I’ll bet the husband/lover of the woman wearing those pink shoes loved seeing her in them! I’d also be willing to bet they enjoyed some hot monkey sex as soon as got alone! Welcome home indeed!!! Love it!!! HOO RAH!

All out of touch critics - Get over yourselves!!!

Well said, Karen! Well said!

Oh please!  This is an awesome photo.  I like it better than the V-J Day photo because it’s not some random woman off the street.  She’s being sassy and proactive in welcoming him home.

BTW.  Her name is Candice.  Candi.  Get it?  I bet she was dolled out in cotton-candy pink.  If I were her, our song would totally be “I want Candy.”  I bet her man loved it.

I have to imagine you’re not very familiar with the Norfolk area.  Nor, I guess, the role of civilians within the military environment.  The Department of Defense (DoD) hires over 600,000 civilian employees world wide, over 32% of whom have a bachelors degree or better.

Thank you, Karen!  I wince when people seem to think Norfolk is something out of An Officer and a Gentleman and that all the women are just like Debra Winger, looking for a nice sailor to marry her. :)  For the record, our strippers can’t even dance naked (you have to go to North Carolina for bare breasts) and tattoo parlors have been fighting an uphill battle to be legalized in Norfolk (they are legal in other cities, but few and far between).

It’s been my observation, based on talking to and visiting friends who live in other parts of the country, that Hampton Roads (the area that encompasses Norfolk and several surrounding cities) is more insulated from the economic problems much of the country if facing.  If anything, thanks to the military, our location on the east coast and the constant need for more teachers, police and rescue (which signals growth), I think we have more to offer than the average American town.  Including pink shoes…

All I can say about that brilliant picture is; I grew up during the Viet Nam era and wish I’d had a chance to stand like that in a pair of pink shoes and welcome home the man I loved.  I never did. He never came home. So for all of the people who lined up on the trashy side of that picture, (and I don’t see that line here) I say, be glad you’re not that woman who lived all those months wondering if she’d ever have the chance to wear something like that to welcome her man home, or would she be wearing black.

What a sad social commentary to think that people overlook what that picture truly stands for because all they can see is a ‘trashy pair of pink shoes’.

I can’t quite fathom how looking pretty for your man to show that you missed him makes you smutty or slutty or whorish.

What’s in the picture besides romance?  Oh wait, the ultimate goal of romance is to procreate…how utterly DIRTY!  /end sarcasm

The way I figure it, being offended by a woman who obviously went out of her way to be attractive for her mate is either reverse sexism (read: women’s lib gone wild) or good old-fashioned jealousy.

I’m sure everyone has encountered the female who gets seriously offended when a male holds open a door for her.  I do wish someone would explain to me why that could possibly diminish your person-hood somehow, but I suppose if one did have that mindset, the picture might be offensive in a moral sort of way.  ::ponder::

Or…the offended has a huge chip on her shoulder and such a sour disposition that no amount of pink shoes or hearts and flowers and candy would make coming home to them (the offended ones, that is) preferable to being on a ship with a few hundred hairy men rather than a hairy-legged, bitchy, self-righteous female wearing Birkenstock’s.  Jealousy makes anything you want and can’t/don’t have seem pretty offensive, right?  ::rolls her eyes::  Don’t forget, dearie:  you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!

You folks think that if her shoes the same style but in red, white, and blue it would’ve been less “smut” and more patriotism?  Maybe for the small-minded.  Remember what patriotism is?  “devoted love, support, and defense of one’s country” (dictionary.com)  Nowhere do I read that one has to prove one’s patriotism by wearing red, white and blue and waving the flag around.  America is all about freedom of speech and freedom of religion and freedom to be a self-righteous, whiny asshole if you get your panties in a wad about something stupid.  It means you can get a tattoo and go without stockings with your pink high heels, too!

Welcoming a soldier home wearing something that’ll bring a smile to his face and remember what it was he was fighting for makes pink high heels pretty patriotic in my book.

Now, if y’all will excuse me, I’ll be the one in the kitchen (barefoot, of course…but my toenails are painted hot pink!) cooking dinner for my man because he deserves it.

Cheers!