Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

And special thanks go to M C Escher for contributing the guy’s right arm!

HA HA HA that peen woman is LOLOLOL.  She’s “rising up out of the sea”!!

god, now I am snorting with laughter.

That’s what the world needs more of - more giant floating cat!

Magic word is “stay28”. I intend to. ;)

Good grief…besides the lighthouse, there’s a whole multiplication of peen with the candelabra and the suspiciously bulbous headboard bedposts.

I noticed the same thing about dude’s forearm.  Photoshop FAIL.  Same goes for the skin color of Ocean Lady’s elbow.

Were I laying on top of my beloved, gazing into his steely grey eyes, I don’t think I’d want to be squishing my boobs on top of his bony forearm. Ow. Why doesn’t he have his arm at his side, or around her?

The Surrealistic cat looks large from here. Whether we concentrate on light house and its image of communicating warnings to vessels at sea or the mad woman on the shore with her linguistic pose as a visible gesture of warning, they all seem to contain within them a kind of lol catness, radiating the same spirit of cheeseburger. Surrealist discourse expresses and incites us to WTF! Surrealism causes problems. It disturbs, as it wants to, even now it is saying you cannot has cheeseburger. It calls upon whatever energies we have to read the book or burn it for not letting us have our cheeseburger.

Did someone win it or did the auction just end?  I want to know who bought that???  I want a pussy cat on my wall.

LOL, what a surreal piece of art!  I especially love the disgusted expression on the cat’s face:  “Oh, God, here they go again!  And I thought the toms were bad when the moon was full…”

I LOVE that cover art!  It’s craptastically nauSEAting!

Besides the obvious problem the dark-cloaked woman conducting a giant feline oceanic orchestra of one, it’s not balanced or ascetically pleasing in any way shape or form.

And that brass headboard seems to be folding in on itself in an awkward way.  Guess it’s just echoing the position of the guy’s arm—and paying poor homage to MC Escher as Jessica so accurately pointed out.

WIN for Teddypig’s comments!

LOL @ Teddypig!

There are numerous pussy jokes here, but my brain hurts too much to make them.

I think this was a way for the cover artist to show those two having sex without actually depicting the sex - see, he’s the crashing waves, she’s the ocean, there’s phallic imagery, and the cat is…um…

Yes, I have a dirty mind.

I think this was a way for the cover artist to show those two having sex without actually depicting the sex - see, he’s the crashing waves, she’s the ocean, there’s phallic imagery, and the cat is…um…

Yes, I have a dirty mind.

I like this theory as it recalls all those old movies where the camera always cut away to crashing waves during the love scenes.  I do have to wonder, though, given the relative size of the lighthouse to the cat, what exactly the artist is implying about the couple on the bed.

I actually had no idea this was a market. Wall display? Archive? What?

That giant cat is a) an alien and b) totally boogieboarding.

Oh, Tamara’s right—that’s boogie-boarding if I ever saw it. And I’s seen me some boogie-boarding. But more importantly, who cut one? That cat is clearly smelling something, and I’m willing to bet it ain’t the lurve seeping surrealistically off the right-hand half of this masterpiece.

All that said, if this is an actual, factual painting, let’s hear some old skool props for the artist. I’ll bet Mr. Herring is sick to death of today’s digital artist-wannabes, slapping improbable arms on things willy-nilly with the click of a mouse. Or indeed using Photoshop’s Improbable Arm Scatter Brush tool. Artisans of yesterdecade, I salute you.

Is the little lady worshiping the the very straight and tall ;) lighthouse or the cat?

Lol.  I just looked at the larger version of this… um… image, and noticed there’s accidental (or maybe not!) dong at the top of the headboard - this painting has it all!

Oh, c’mon! You Photo Shopped the cat in!

You did… I mean… right?

(If not, I’m afraid he may be digesting a couple of the wee woman’s kinfolk. Oh, dear.)

There is no peen woman.  Only Zool.

So… am I the only person who sees a suspicious fold of bedsheet?  Perhaps an ACTUAL peen to go with the peen woman/lighthouse/bedposts/candles?

My mind is sick and twisted.  Anyway, it strikes me from the woman’s pose and state of dress (as opposed to McChesthair’s undress) that she must be coming to him from some sort of dream, which could explain bizarro-arm syndrome… and maybe he’s actually trapped in a lighthouse, and the only pussy he’s seen lately is a Himalayan cat?  There is nothing right about this picture.  And yet I want to become a professor and hang it on my wall.

I like to think that the woman is beseeching the lighthouse spirit to dispose of the giant cat that has beached itself.

What . . . ??
What book was this a cover for, and was its level of WTF as epic as this?

Am I the only one who thinks there’s more body parts?  Like a shoulder in the bed on the other side of the guy? 

Yeah, the rest sort of detracts but I would love to see a larger picture of this just to see what’s there between her chin and his right shoulder!

It almost reminds me of the Titanic…that scene with all the rushing water…

“Darling, we have to leave NOW—the boat is sinking.”

“But I’m soooo close, just a bit more, there’s still time…”

Why’s that little lady leaping out of the big lady’s butt?

Circus in town?

woah? what is going on? Im. so. confused?  I’ve heard of female ejaculation but this seems a bit much? How much did the lady have in there? Seriously to make an ocean, a tiny person, a peen tower and a giant fuzzy pu-...cat ;-) all come out of her hoo haa!? go on with your bad self lady. heck he must be that good in bed.

You people are amateurs. The symbolism is slapping you- wetly -across the face. The water is all on her bottom half: It’s her salty wet arousal! She’s so moist that the sheets become veritable waves, crashing over them as she orgasms. The tiny, rejoicing woman is her punani familiar, sending up thanks to the penis god, Lighthouse, for the wondrous phallus she’s enjoying. And the cat is… well, it’s a sated pussy. Even more obvious than “the eyes” in The Great Gatsby.

Read some more romances, bitches. You’ve just been SCHOOLED.

Victoria Dahl = WIN

And because I needed to know.

Spellbound by Ruth Alana Smith

Jacob Malone
A high-priced Boston attorney used to the good life. Money and women have always come to him easily—until now.

Denise Warren
A bewitching woman of mystery who won’t play by Jacob’s rules. Desiree has had to contend with nasty rumors her whole life; she needs a man who will be as steady as a rock.

For the first time, Jacob is forced to examine the very core of his soul: Does he have the moral courage required to become involved with a woman like Desiree? He prays he does, because she’s holding him spellbound….

The painting makes the book seem more interesting than the blurb. Although I’m not sure if Denise and Desiree are the same woman… Maybe Desiree is the woman praying to the peen lighthouse.

Well, I can’t really blame Jacob for being hesitant. 

I’d imagine it would take a lot of courage to date a woman that can summon a literal tsunami and a literal giant boogeyboarding pussy at will.  Although it is more impressive than the ping-pong ball trick… 

I will say the giant cat in question looks more exasperated than fierce.  It’s got the head tilt going, like, “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

Magic word: problems45.  Oh, think there are more than that.

It looks like it may still be available for the right motivated buyer.  I would have to be very motivated to pay $150 for it, though. 

Ok, now I’m wondering—it was obviously a work for hire and it’s been published—who owns the copyright?  Would it be possible to own the physical object (the painting) but not the right to the image?  This makes my head hurt.

Is that a bong on the bedside table?

“Hurry, darling. Let’s do it one more time before we drown.”
“But the cat!”
“F**k the cat! Do you know what all that cold water will do to my . . . “

I like how the bedside table has carefully painted brushes and a book to show how normal the bedroom is, and then look to the side and it’s giant cat! phallic lighthouse! little witch person by an ocean!

DS,

According to the listing it’s an oil painting. The original cover only had the right panel of the painting although I don’t know if there was an insert of the entire painting in the front of the book.

The owner of the painting owns the painting. Just as the owner of a print owns a print. The owner of the physical object never owns the rights to the image unless those rights were also purchased. Those rights may or may not be transferable. It depends on the language in the contract.

In this case, the publisher has licensed the coverart or outright purchased it via work-for-hire depending on the contract between the publisher and the artist so I’m not sure I understand your question.

Are you asking whether or not the purchaser of the painting could take the image and try to make money off of it beyond reselling the painting? The answer to that would be no. Are you asking whether it’s the publisher or the artist who has the right to have prints made for sale? Or if the publisher can use or change this cover slightly to use it for another title? We’d have no way of knowing without looking at the contract between the parties.

The cat is just so random. Each of the pictures kind of makes sense by itself, but then there’s a giant aquatic cat. No attempt to put it in it’s own picture or make it match the beach scene or anything, it’s just kinda….there.

Does the book feature an actual giant cat? That’s the only reason I can think of.

If you look closely at the enlarged version of this…
You’ll notice the woman seems to have only one foot.