Bitchin' Blog Posts
Merry Cover Snark, from the Smart Bitches
by SB Sarah | December 25, 2005 | Sunday at 7:53 pm | 11 Comments
Sarah:Isn’t she a little, um, small? For his Night Stalker? Unless she uses those little arms to pull out his most recent kidney stone. Merry Christmas! It’s a calcification in your urethra!
Candy: What the fuck, people? Look, if the sexes had been reversed, that pixie thing would’ve made a barely satisfactory dildo. How in the hell is the nookifying supposed to work in this case? He diddles her with a lubricated Q-tip? She swims up his ass and tickles his prostate? Inquiring minds want to know.
Wait, scratch that, they DON’T.
Sarah:Ah, yet another reason to be glad I converted to Judaism six years ago. I don’t ever have to worry that one day, I’ll wake up, and Thor the Vacant-Eyed Cookie Thief will be lounging in his altogether under my tree.
I don’t think Thor needs a cookie that big, either.
Candy: Man, if I found that under my Christmas tree, I’d run for a shotgun. Not that I own a shotgun, but the thought of something like that lurking in my house is making me itch to buy one.
Sarah:Merry Christmas! There’s a teeny little dead guy perched by his man titties, dangling in your sock.
Candy: Nothing says “CHRISTMAS SPIRIT” like miniature corpses and midget necrophilia.
Darlene Marshall said on 12.25.05 at 08:54 PM • [comment link]
I’m with you, Sarah. No one has yet inflicted bad naked Judah Maccabee poser cover art on us—and I’m darn glad of it.
Amy E said on 12.25.05 at 10:29 PM • [comment link]
Very funny—ho ho ho indeed. I miss the print covers, though. I’ll look and see if I’ve got any I can nominate and email ‘em to you. Happy Chranusticnza!
DebR said on 12.25.05 at 10:46 PM • [comment link]
Geeeze. Where did bad cover art come from before some psycho crack-head invented Poser? It must have been much harder work to create hideous covers in the days BP.
Deena said on 12.25.05 at 10:55 PM • [comment link]
I kept reading the series title as “Hot Toddlers.” Talk about throwing up in one’s mouth.
Doug Hoffman said on 12.28.05 at 12:31 AM • [comment link]
Christmas vampires like buggering little gingerbread boys. Who knew?
(if that doesn’t work, here’s the link. Now, Candy, when are you coming over to Kate’s place to play our game?)
Shan Baro said on 12.28.05 at 05:55 AM • [comment link]
Who the hell would eat that cookie?
celeste said on 12.28.05 at 06:27 AM • [comment link]
Okay, the vampire abrading his private parts with a gingerbread man has pushed me over the edge. If a publisher tried to foist a cover like this on me, I think I’d have to challenge someone to a paint ball duel.
Angela Knight’s an established author, so wouldn’t she have had more say in how her cover turned out, particularly with a small publisher like Changeling? Or did she actually approve of this cover?
SB Sarah said on 12.28.05 at 07:23 AM • [comment link]
No wonder that gingerbread man looks so very, very upset. That is not the “Oh face” he had in mind when promised a night of warm fresh-baked fun.
Nicole said on 12.30.05 at 07:06 AM • [comment link]
Celeste, she didn’t just approve of it, Angela Knight is the artist for that cover!
CindyS said on 12.31.05 at 11:37 AM • [comment link]
What a way to ruin a perfectly good cookie! Gives a whole new meaning to ‘don’t fuck with my baking!’
Also, the first clue your man is gay - he’s playing with a gingerbread MAN!! Thanks to Oprah for that clue.
CindyS
Bernita said on 01.01.06 at 05:55 PM • [comment link]
Why do they all look like dead plastic action toys?
Is this a new trend?
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