Bitchin' Blog Posts
Making Tonda Cry, One Cover at a Time
by SB Sarah | May 31, 2006 | Wednesday at 4:38 pm | 16 CommentsLovelysalome answered the call - damn fast, too - and found us an image of Touched by Thorns. I’m thinking that the deep historical inaccuracies on this cover will make Tonda wish for some of those thorns with which to gouge out her eyes. Check it out:
And for her efforts, I hereby dub Lovelysalome, who braved the frontier of Chinese eBay for our fine graphic display, a member of the Smart Bitch peerage:
lovelysalome said on 05.31.06 at 05:28 PM • [comment link]
I am honored to join the peerage. ¡Gracias, putas inteligentes!
Miri said on 05.31.06 at 05:36 PM • [comment link]
Congrats Tonda!
About the cover though ... is she topless? If so, she’s got no nipples man! She’s .. she’s nippless.
Its_Just_Me said on 05.31.06 at 06:16 PM • [comment link]
No, she’s not quite topless. But she’s got some serious saggy-ness going. Her boobs are down to her bellybutton! Or maybe her boobs are growing out of her stomach…
Darlene Marshall said on 05.31.06 at 06:18 PM • [comment link]
Poor Tonda! To have this inflicted upon her with scant warning.
And congratulations to the Baroness. Truly, this was above and beyond the call of duty.
Polargirl said on 05.31.06 at 06:45 PM • [comment link]
What’s with the collar? Is she a clown? Did she just get back from the vet after being neutered? Better not bite at those sutures missy!
ElaineMc said on 05.31.06 at 07:29 PM • [comment link]
Wait, the—she—the ruff, and—wait, WHAT??
Tonda said on 05.31.06 at 08:49 PM • [comment link]
My eyes! My eyes!!! You bitches. WTF is going on on this cover? Is she wearing a neclace under that ruff?
Must look away . . . .
Stef said on 05.31.06 at 08:51 PM • [comment link]
For the love of God, is NO ONE going to say anything about her HAIR??? I’m thinking Aqua-Net. Two cans, minimum. And the dude’s sniffing it for a good head-buzz before he has to tackle that doily gone mad around her neck.
lovelysalome said on 05.31.06 at 09:29 PM • [comment link]
What hair? The ruff…. can’t look away!
Victoria Dahl said on 05.31.06 at 09:57 PM • [comment link]
The necklace under the ruff! PAH-HAHAHAHA It’s like they drew the whole bad cover, then someone said, “Wait! Didn’t they wear ruffs back in the Elizabethan era? Put one of those in there too. Mm, perfect.”
What’s with heroes sniffing hairlines? Is this some erogenous zone I don’t know about? Do I have tiny pheromone glands at my hairline that constantly secrete delicious musk? Or did she just scratch her head after masturbating?
April said on 06.01.06 at 12:30 AM • [comment link]
LOL. “Doily gone mad” just totally made my day.
Letitia LeStrange said on 06.01.06 at 01:08 AM • [comment link]
Oh. My. God. You are going to kill me. Where do you go to find a cover like that?
Danielle said on 06.01.06 at 03:29 AM • [comment link]
You FOUND it! I bow before lovelysalome.
Now you can all see the image that haunted my nightmares for weeks.
Caro said on 06.01.06 at 05:02 AM • [comment link]
I have this book. I even know where my copy is—unfortunately, I don’t have a working scanner. One hysterical detail you can’t see in this version is that the artist very carefully detailed the stitching for the elastic casing around the wrist of the dress.
Remember those boufant prom gowns that were popular in the late 80s/early 90’s? The ones that hung off the shoulder and usually had an elastic band inside the top of the sleeve to keep them up? That is always what this dress looked like to me.
I don’t remember caring for the book too much, but I ended up keeping it because the costume was just too damn funny.
Catherine J. said on 04.21.07 at 10:21 PM • [comment link]
Holy crud, it’s Captain Janeway!
Man, the holodeck’s really gone screwy this time ‘round . . .
Ehren said on 06.11.07 at 09:19 AM • [comment link]
God Almighty, what is up with that outfit. It’s bad enough they’ve got a ruff around her neck without the odd Tudor dress to complicate the thing. What period were they trying for? =w=;; Whatever it is, they failed miserably.
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