Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Wait, wait, wait…Sarah, when was this published? If it was in the last ten years…This adds a new bit of funny for me.

See, when I see the name Tangela, this is what comes to mind:

http://o.guidesmedia.ign.com/guides/12045/images/tangela.gif

A little plant-type Pokemon from ten years ago.

Anyway, this Warrick…I hate that male bastard just from what I saw and I *am* one.

Edit: Too good to pass up. Spamword: I hadn’t ever seen the word ‘Tangela’ until 98. Which is when Pokemon came out.

“Tangela”: what a ridiculous name.  It sounds like a phoney, oevr-sweetened fruit-flavoured fizzy drink.

The man thinks in cover copy!

Practically everything you quoted from the book sounded like advertising copy to me, e.g.

Her host mother, Ima, was weight-conscious and took great pride in preparing tasty, low-calorie meals for the family.

.  Who really uses phrases like ‘tasty, low-calorie meals’  in ordinary verbal communication? 
And I agree about the effortless, unconscious and unintentional weight-loss.  I hate magic in any book, which is why I avoid whole genres like fantasy, but magic in a would-be real-life contemporary is a non-starter.  The only common way of losing weight unintentionally and very fast is by means of a severe and prolonged bout of gastro-enteritis.  And of course the weight returns with normal health.

@Scrin
You weren’t the only one.  I kept picturing the pokemon and Warrick from CSI.  What an odd combo.

Leonard Butkiss?

LEONARD BUTKISS?!?!?!?

That is all (except that as described, he sounds like Christopher Eccleston. Rawr.).

Jude Deveraux did literal magic weight-loss in Wishes. It was another situation where the heroine was healthy before, and the hero wanted her before… It makes me think the author is being disingenuous on whether or not she really thinks a plump heroine is as good as a thin one. Or, here comes the pun, wanting to have her cake and eat it too. A hero who really, really would love the heroine anyhow were she large, but—thankfully—without the heroine actually being large.

There’s a female basketball player named Tangela, I think. I rather like the name.

summer69: Really? Awesome in so many ways.

I just have to say that sometimes weight “magically” falling off does happen if someone changes locale and thereby lifestyle.  It happened to me when I took a summer internship with the NPS.  I went from being a student sitting a lot to literally having to bike at least 6 miles a day plus climb around 5 flights of stairs 5 times a day.  When you combine that with an intern’s food budget, my weight did literally fall off.  I lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks.  Just sayin.  It *can* happen.

I dislike weight loss as plot device like this.  She lost weight and finds out that the man who dumped her when she was fat would love her at any size?  Oh, that’s sweet.  I bet it’s a whole lot easier to love someone “at any size” when they’re a size 6. 

I’m gonna write a Blaze where the heroine gains sixty pounds and gains heaps of sexual confidence.

Oh, dear.  I hate to say it, but this reads like one of my NaNoWriMo rough drafts that I would never show to anybody.

I’d read it, Jennifer. :)

I think I caught a few moments of snooze time in the middle of the Return-from-the-lounge-washroom-check-the-black-berry-thingy-look-at-scores scene.  Thanks! I feel refreshed! =)

Why has nobody written me as a romance heroine?  I’d love to have the weight magically fall off like that.  I’d be willing to toss my head and ruminate plenty for that kind of magic.

Weight loss as a plot device doesn’t work for me, either. But yes, I know people who lost 15 pounds in a couple of weeks during travel overseas. One was my husband. It wasn’t just the diet, it was the exercise. He did a lot of walking.

And it all goes right on my hips. *sigh.*

(And the captcha is “feet43.” How apropos.)

Woot!  Let the snark fly.  This is gonna be funny.  :0)

Gaaah.  I’ve read a few Kimani romances, attempting to at least try to do something about the whitewashed romance reading, and the trademark/brand name-checking and cover copy dialogue have been an issue in all bar one of them.

All the brand-name dropping makes me wonder if the author gets program placement deals…here $XXXX$ if you mention Charmin toilet paper when he goes to the washroom.  Here’s $XXXX$ if he watches a Sony TV with picture-in-picture feature.

[blank stare]

Huh? Oh, I’m sorry. I was reflecting about my relationship with the cinnamon scone I had this morning with my coffee. It was—oops, hang on, I’ve got a call coming in on my EV3 handheld.

[phone conversation redacted]

As I was saying, that scone was amazing. Also, I doubt I’d be able to finish this book, either, based on the magical!weight-loss, but I’d also find it super-distracting that the hero is named Warrick. I can only assume the author wanted the reader to picture Gary Dourdan as the hero.

Come on Bitches. How could you not want to read Tangela and Warrick? I mean, the Names! They just SIZZLE with possibilities! Now that I know the Pokemon connection it’s even more enticing! How can you pass on the possibility that Warrick is really an ancient Earl come back from defending the Queen (or was he plotting against her?) to make all right in the world for Tangela, who somehow escaped from a grubby stack of cards that went through the washing machine cuz his mom TOOK HIS JEANS off the floor when he wasn’t looking and that Tangela one fled to Harlequin’s fond embrace! If only SBSarah hadn’t forewarned me…

I had no idea that they made iPhones and Blackberries that weren’t handheld. Hmmm.

The best “weight falls off” I’ve ever seen in a book was Jennifer Weiner’s Good in Bed where the heroine delivers her baby prematurely after a trauma and spends weeks just walking for no other reason than escape. She finally looks the way she always wanted but only because she is wretchedly miserable and afraid for her child. Weight loss explained AND it did not magically make the heroine’s life perfect to find that she was suddenly thin. In fact, she didn’t even care.

However, in real life…I have experienced the “weight falls off” phenomenon. So has my mom. I chalked mine up to something mysterious and hormonal…sometime in the baby’s second year food turned into a chore instead of a pleasure. I dropped 40 lbs, which actually wasn’t a great thing since my starting weight was healthy. Of amazon stature and a size 4 makes you look vaguely insectile plus nothing that fits is long enough.

Soooo…magical weight loss is not a deal breaker for me. Magical weight loss to drive an entire plot? Problematic. Add in crappy writing and I think I’ll pass.

iPhone handheld? BlackBerry handheld? Really? Who says that?

Years and years ago, when I subscribed to Writers Digest, they used to run ads from companies trying to protect their trademarks.  The ads insisted that writers shouldn’t have characters dry their tears with a Kleenex; they should use a Kleenex-brand facial tissue.  And no one should apply disinfectant to a knife wound with a Q-tip, they should use Q-tip brand cotton swabs. 

I’m betting the “handheld” is part of some mandate to protect trademarks.

I’m gonna write a Blaze where the heroine gains sixty pounds and gains heaps of sexual confidence.

Go for it!

Okay, I now believe that one can lose a stone (14 pounds) in a fortnight (two weeks) by eating very little and exercising intensely.  But I don’t think it happens too often. 
:-)

Jude Deveraux did literal magic weight-loss in Wishes. It was another situation where the heroine was healthy before, and the hero wanted her before…

Ah, but the point there was that her fairy godmother assumed that being skinny would make the heroine happy, without bothering to find out what was actually making her unhappy in the first place (it wasn’t her weight, although I do recall she had a beautiful sister who sniped at her about it). Of course, the weight magically dropping off didn’t make her any happier, and neither did it hasten her happy ever after with a hero who rather liked her with the extra weight. In fact, it only served to make both hero and heroine rather confused!

As for ‘Tangela’ my eyes bugged out at the name. I pictured an ordinary girl called Angela, at whom someone threw a load of orange paint and yelled, “You know when you’ve been Tangoed!”

Yep, I recall it was her fairy godmother at work and missing the point, but it still read to me like a device to make her thin without acknowledging the weight as being a negative. Yes, the heroine didn’t want it, but it wasn’t reversed either. Wasn’t it also impossible for her to gain weight? Could be misremembering. I think that speaks to how conflicted women feel. Ah, but Jude Deveraux books do tend to fixate on food and eating.

I’m still stuck on Tangela.  Its making me think of the Tangeloes that my sister-in-law eats.  Although if Gwenith Paltrow can name her kid Apple someone else can name theirs Tangelo, oops I mean Tangela.

Re: Tangela

I think my daughter went to school with a Tangela.  Still sounds like that Sinbad skit about naming the kids after things found in your medicine cabinet.

As someone who has struggled with self-esteem related to weight most of my life, I cannot tell you HOW much I HATE weight used as a plot device. All my life, it’s been drummed into my head that skinny = beautiful and fat = not just ugly, but ugly, sloppy, and lazy (why else would someone “let themselves get fat”?)

Hence though I was a very thin child, and practically emaciated in my 20s and early 30s, I was never happy with my weight. Then as age happened, so did pounds. For the past three years I’ve been working very hard on getting fit and active and I have taken off 35 pounds, but that’s beside the point. The thing I’ve worked hardest on is trying not to make weight affect my confidence or self-esteem, which is much more difficult. And I do have more weight I need to take off, and it’s hard not to obsess about it or get disappointed when, at almost 50, the pounds not only don’t melt off, they sit there and glare at me with mocking grins.

Anyway, yes, you can take 12 pounds off in two weeks. But fast weight loss is not safe or permanent weight loss. One thing I’ve learned in my journey is that diets don’t work, and that if you really want to be slimmer slow, gradual weight loss is the way to do it. Never more than 2 pounds per week, max. Not unless you want it back, plus more, a few years down the line.

Right, that’s it.  Time to start penning my magical weight-gain novel in which size-0 model, Tangerina, magically turns into a size 22W model overnight.  And boy does she look fabulous!  So much so that her high-school sweetheart, Coventry, who stopped dating her because he was scared he was going to break her by mistake, gets back in touch via his Apple Tablet (other medicinal computing devices are available).  They end up staying in a house made from mirrors, enabling them to spend all day reflecting on Tangerina’s newfound curves and enormous bosoms.  Happy ever after.

I once read a book (a thriller) where everything the hero ate, wore, drove, or drank, was named by brand. “Hero” rolled out of his IKEA Schnorrer bed in the morning, slipped into his Levi Jeans and his Gap tshirt, drank some Sunny Delite, and left the house in his T-bird. It was the most distracting thing.
I worked at a bookstore, and the guy came to do a reading, and it turns out he did it on purpose, to get support for the book. The ‘hero’  drank a particular brand of scotch, and that ACTUAL COMPANY gave him bottles of scotch so that his readings were also scotch tastings. I assume he approached all the other companies too, about ‘sponsorships.’ I loathed him, his book, and the whole idea that the book was just a vehicle for advertising.

I have never read a Kimani book, and this doesn’t really encourage me to experiment there.

Just to comment on the weight loss issue: I can confirm that the weight loss described in the book is possible.  I lost 55 pounds all in all over a period of about 8 months away from home, most of it because of increased exercise, less candy and soda consumption and the low-calorie food they served at the school I was attending. The final 15 or so pounds (which I could not afford to lose) melted away in two long bouts of traveller’s stomach bug. However, when I got back home, I put all of it back on over the course of 3 years. I wonder if that happens to the heroine? (somehow I doubt it)

I loathed him, his book, and the whole idea that the book was just a vehicle for advertising.

Ugh. The late Olivia Goldsmith did something similar with The Bulgari Connection, in which she received money for mentioning the jewelry company in the book a certain number of times. I’ll put up with advertising in magazines, but not in novels.

A few weeks ago I was watching Bones and it was the least subtle commercial ever. Several of the characters took turns waiting in line for Avatar tickets. A clip was shown with the characters talking about how good it looked, and there was even a description clearly meant to entice.

It gave me both The Sads and The Angrys.

Yep, I recall it was her fairy godmother at work and missing the point, but it still read to me like a device to make her thin without acknowledging the weight as being a negative. Yes, the heroine didn’t want it, but it wasn’t reversed either.

I’m almost positive, in a subsequent Montgomery/Taggert book, the hero is the son of the H/H of Wishes. In that one, the mom is described as rather plump. So I assume, after a few kids (probably a dozen, going on the fertility of the rest of that family), it was reversed :).

I’m surprised I remember that, but I think it was because I was happy she ended up chubby.

A few weeks ago I was watching Bones and it was the least subtle commercial ever. Several of the characters took turns waiting in line for Avatar tickets. A clip was shown with the characters talking about how good it looked, and there was even a description clearly meant to entice.

Yes! That made me so angry. It was an episode long commercial. Although, they managed to turn that commercial into something funny and interesting… but still. Commercial. Yuck.

Growing up I had a friend named Tangela, so the name seemed normal to me. But Warrick? Is unacceptable. You can’t see that name without thinking of CSI. It’s like naming a character Buffy and expecting every one to forget about her vampire slaying past.

I’m almost positive, in a subsequent Montgomery/Taggert book, the hero is the son of the H/H of Wishes. In that one, the mom is described as rather plump. So I assume, after a few kids (probably a dozen, going on the fertility of the rest of that family), it was reversed :).

I thought that is in Wishes itself.  The hero of Wishes, Jocelyn Montgomery, is the son of the H/H of Mountain Laurel.  The heroine of Mountain Laurel is an opera singer and Jocelyn has fond memories of growing up around women of operatic talent and size and appreciates/prefers them.

The son of Wishes is in “The Invitation.”  But I haven’t read that in so long so I could be wrong.  I’ll have to check it out tonight, which is going to make me sad because I wish she would go back to writing about the Montgomery/Taggert clan.  I dislike her more recent stuff.

I realize this won’t win me many friends, but in the past few months, I *have* been having the magic weight loss. Like, I’m not even really trying, but every few weeks I weigh myself and *whoops* there’s another couple of pounds gone.

Magical weight loss? I wish!

Two years ago I experienced just the opposite— a magical, very sudden weight gain, which turned out to be ovarian cancer. And yes, it may seem silly, but I have been known to gripe to my husband, “But everyone else with cancer loses weight! How come I have to get heavier?”

So I try and keep away from stories where the heroine loses weight without a struggle. Because I still haven’t worked my way back to what I consider my normal weight, even though I do prepare “tasty, low-calorie meals.”

Spamword: perhaps34. Perhaps in 34 more months I’ll get my old figure back…

I’ve heard that the Gossip Girl series uses a lot of product placement, and it’s also a mass-produced set of books (only targeted at teenagers) so my mind does go immediately to “they were asked to do that.”  But calling the mobile devices “handhelds” calls that into question, like Harry said.

That said, what’s so wrong with just saying “cell phone”? Is it that important of a plot point that the hero be able to send e-mail and access the Internet and play Bejeweled on the device he left in his jacket pocket? And aren’t there things called “phones” that do that anyway these days?

@JoAnn Chartier

I am so glad I’m not the only one who read this and immediately thought of Warrick the Kingmaker. I kept expecting the Woodvilles to show up somewhere and start stealing important lands and titles for themselves.

The son of Wishes is in “The Invitation.”  But I haven’t read that in so long so I could be wrong.

I think it is in The Invitation, where the heroine meets the hero’s mom, and she’s described as soft and plump. I think she has a picnic basket on her arm, and she’s climbing up a mountain toward the heroine.

Funny how certain scenes stay with you. For the life of me, I can’t remember a single other part of that book.

I am another one who can attest that the magic weight lost can happen - I lost at least 10 kg within one year once. I was living abroad and arrived with two suitcases total, so I had to buy a lot of stuff and really did not notice that I had lost all that weight until I came home and put on a suit that had fit perfectly before and made me look like a starved rat then!

The thing is, although I did not notice, I do understand what happened - I definitly ate less than I do at home, and to a certain extend I ate differently, too - next to no meat and very little cake, for example, because I was worried about the hormones in meat and did not like most of the cakes…

So I think the magic weight loss is not magic at all, but the result of a change in diet and/or exercise. And the fact that you are not thinking about weight/weight loss actually contributes too. I am sure that as soon as you think about wanting to lose weight, it does not happen or gets much harder.

That said, I dislike the topic as a driving force in a novel as it is so loaded. Sure, I know that wieght loss can be empowering to some, but it can also project the insecurities of our society (ie only thin people are lovable)...

The book sounds ridiculous btw. the handhelt blackberry cracked me up though - how else would you hold it? with your toes?

I’ll go back up and read all the comments in a second. I’ve got to type this:

#1) I’d never read a book with a heroine named Tangela and a hero named Warrick, especially if it’s set in present day. Warrick, really?? It reminds me of a novel cover that featured Fabio with his blonde locks blowing in the wind.  And Tangela? The name seems awkward and forced.

#2) I’d also suspect the author of this novel isn’t fat or anywhere near a size 18 or 10 for that matter. I mean losing enough weight to drop from and 18 to a 10 would be noticible, but not enough that People would feature it. I mean a size 18 is big to some, and hey, someone who is thin would probably think those ladies on the Biggest Loser are wearing 18’s, but the difference from an 18 to a 10 isn’t magazine worthy is it? Maybe it is, but I don’t think so.

All this product placement with blackberries, iphones and such reminds me of a book I read that was written 30 or so years ago. The author, in order to make his hero seem so hip, rich and cutting edge, had his character own the only Betamax in the ‘hood. Does anyone nowadays even know what a Betamax is? I had to have a laugh when I read that. And so, years from now, readers may get a laugh out of all the obsolete technology Warrick uses in this book.

Unless it’s something vitally important to the story (like “The kidnappers got away in a red Honda Civic.”), then leave the product names behind and stick with simple generic terms.

A few weeks ago I was watching Bones and it was the least subtle commercial ever. Several of the characters took turns waiting in line for Avatar tickets. A clip was shown with the characters talking about how good it looked, and there was even a description clearly meant to entice.

They earned maximum whoredom points because the one of the “Bones” semi-regulars waiting in line (Joel David Moore), appears in “Avatar” as Dr. Norm Spellman. 

HURL.

I lost about 20 pounds in a few weeks once.

The Stroke Weight Loss Plan - not recommended.

P.S.  Those damned Woodvilles!

A few weeks ago I was watching Bones and it was the least subtle commercial ever. Several of the characters took turns waiting in line for Avatar tickets. A clip was shown with the characters talking about how good it looked, and there was even a description clearly meant to entice.

I can see where people could be bothered by this, but to me, having the uber-geeks excited didn’t seem out of the range of possibilities.

Then, when I saw Avatar, I realized that tall, goth Bones intern was one of the main supporting characters in Avatar and it made a lot of sense that he was the one with tickets. :)

Well, here’s one for me to avoid.

I mean, MY GOD! Just the weight loss thing alone is enough to keep me far away. The ONLY time I accepted that was in a romance novel I read where a woman who died is sent back to the old west to play guardian angel/matchmaker for a distance ancestor of her’s - who happens to be fat. When the hero breaks her heart, the guardian angel, who was shallow when she was alive, magically makes the heroine lose a ton of weight without trying.

Divine intervention I can accept for weight loss. Anything else - NO!

Thank you for helping me avoid a book I’d want to throw across the room.

There’s a song by Here We Go Magic called “Fangela,” and the second I read this review, it popped into my head and won’t go away, so I already hated the book for that. I’ll hate it even more for the weak writing, sure.
Magical weight loss? When I turned 30, my mother gloated that now my metabolism would change and I had better be more careful about my eating habits. (Seriously, she’d been waiting for that for AGES.) After I lost 10 pounds for absolutely no reason, she stopped asking about my weight.

She’d lost the weight without even trying.

Ok, right there the heroine should have been dragged out and shot.

When authors make stupid statements like this I wonder what their reason is as to why the character waited to lose the weight if she was capable of losing it at any point in time? And why the character isn’t making millions selling this “weight loss without even trying” idea….

Well I must admit that I did once lose 22 pounds in 3 weeks but I can’t say it made me a better person or more romantic. In fact I was so angry all the time from being deprived of my carbs that I wanted to kill my family. Since the “halibut Incident’ my kids never want me to diet again :)

I lost a bunch of weight without trying, but I was 16, and it was puppy fat, and it was hormonal.  When the hormones calmed down and my “food is wonderful and exercise is boring” lifestyle continued, I got fat, and stayed fat.  I keep wishing for that effortless shrinking to occur again, but somehow I think puberty just isn’t going to happen again.  Except for the acne, moodswings…  Damn it.

@Suze, I call it “approaching menopause.”

Oy. I have the acne, the greasy hair, the mood swings, cramps (granted, on an ever-decreasing basis), and so on. Only now I don’t have the thick glasses (thanks to contacts. And I have friends. :-)

Only the bloat comes on and never goes away!!!!

(My captcha is “sat82.” I’ve sat at the computer for the last 82 hours [which helps explain my weight] and I’m still no closer to making my deadline.)

@Cat

Ah, but the point there was that her fairy godmother assumed that being skinny would make the heroine happy, without bothering to find out what was actually making her unhappy in the first place (it wasn’t her weight, although I do recall she had a beautiful sister who sniped at her about it).

Now that I actually took the time to read the comments -

Not fairy godmother. Guardian Angel. Shallow woman living in the 1980s (or maybe it was the 1990s) dies in a car accident. In Heaven she finds out she has to play guardian angel/matchmaker for an ancestor of her’s. Said ancestor is fat. At one point the angel in charge of our shallow angel is getting on her because she’s spending so much time staring into a mirror rather then helping her depressed charge, so the GA waves her hand and makes her charge magically lose weight, saying that it will fix everything. Of course she’s shocked when it doesn’t work.

And the fat heroine had both a beautiful sister and a nasty father who constantly verbally, emotionally, and mentally abused her for being fat. Then when she was thin, abused her for that because she was too depressed to even wash her hair.

While others have said magical weight loss happens, still would tick me off in a book without a supernatural or divine intervention.

Anyway, why does the heroine have to go from fat to thin? Dang it, this is just ONE of the many reasons an author would base a character on me. (Along with all my other issues.) Let the fat girl win love without losing weight!

I lost weight like that in a couple weeks once. Twice, actually. Funny, now I have these two kids…

I don’t mind reading about a heroine working hard to lose weight or change herself / her life in some way, but I prefer seeing it in a women’s fic than a romance. It seems like authors do it justice when they concentrate on the journey rather than toss it in as a segment of a story about a relationship. It tends to “shallow the issue” in a way that clearly doesn’t work for a lot of readers.

Six months later, she was down to a size fourteen and by the end of the year, she was at the lowest weight she’d ever been.

“after a few weeks of heart palpitations, mood swings, and insomnia, tangela visited her doctor, where he tested her thyroid hormone levels. oh look! hyperthyroidism! who knew?”

after all, thyroid disease effects 1 in 10 women. *grins* sorry, all this talk about “magical weight loss”...i just HAD to make a plug for www.thyroidawarenessmonth.com

The only romance revolving around weight loss I ever liked was THIN WOMAN, by Dorothy Cannell.  (Well, sold as a mystery, but I loved it for the romance).  And the heroine worked d*mn hard at it, and was upfront about the psychological toll of obsessing about it.

And the best thing about it was that this mental cost continues to be an issue during the entire series, with the heroine continuing to struggle with her body image and food insecurities, and her chef husband lovingly but not so patiently trying to cope with it.

iPhone handheld? BlackBerry handheld? Really? Who says that?

Is JR Ward writing under a different name?

I think the reason people refer to the character in Wishes as a fairly godmother is that the book was written as a definite homage to Cinderella. I know she was a self-involved woman who died, but helping the heroine was penance, and the relationship was pretty Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo.  Pretty much every discussion on the book that I’ve ever seen called her that also.

My problem with the book is more a back-handed compliment. The author is not afraid to try new things, and sometimes that bites her in the rear and she writes herself into a corner. In Wishes, she actually made the heroine inadvertently make a wish that made her TSTL and spineless in order to keep the couple apart.

In Remembrance she wrote herself into another corner where the hero couldn’t sleep with the heroine due to a past life dealio. The solution to that goes down in history as a classic “Wait, what? No!!”

hear69: earlier I had summer69. Is there a message there?

Is JR Ward writing under a different name?

HAHA!  I was thinking the exact same thing.  If the BDB was such total chrack, I would throw them across the room for the sheer number of times she refers to scotch as “Lag”.

I know I’m a total hypocrite, but the Bones episode actually didn’t bother me at all.  In fact, I loved it and thought it was absolutely hilarious.  It was a total geek thing to do and so completely believable.  Bones often refers to current events, pop culture, or whatnot, so it didn’t feel like a “commercial” to me, just a usual part of the show.

As for “magical weight loss”... gag me.  Those of us who have struggled our whole lives with our weight (and been humilated, berated, and abused for it) do not enjoy having “magical weight loss” thrust in our faces.  It would be nice to read more books with “plump” heroines who save the day AND get the guy. :-)

SPAM: Having63… forget having63.  I want to have it ALL!

I meant to say “if the BDB WASN’T such total chrack”!

(Someone needs to proofread! lol)

@Buffy

You’re right on about sizes. Size 18 just isn’t very large. It only seems large to people who are tiny. Try size 52 for large, or 6X. The women on the Biggest Loser often are quite short, which helps to account for how rotund they appear.

You know, maybe this author thought that magical weight loss was appropriate for the wish-fulfillment aspect of a romance. The only trouble is, we believe we can find the perfect mate. We don’t believe we can ever lose the pounds for good. Hence, not appropriate.

I’ll put up with advertising in magazines, but not in novels.

I do remember reading a few years back about a chick-lit author who’d actually got a sponsorship deal with Ford (I think). In return for a retainer, she had to give her main characters Fords (and of course cast them in a pleasant light. No good saying, “Jane got into her rust-bucket of a Fiesta and prayed it’d last the drive to work.”)

I know authors who would KILL for that kind of deal. Hey. if I put all my heroines in Manolo Blahniks, do you think he’ll start sending me some?

It’s irritating to have every single item name-checked, but in some cases its actually a useful insight into the character. Is this the sort of person who actually cares what sort of phone they carry? Does the model of car they drive say something about them? “He drove a mid-size saloon” could mean anything, “He drove a Saab,” means he’s probably an architect. On the flipside, any hero who drives a Lamborghini without irony makes me want to throw the book across the room. Nobody with a full head of hair, an unlined face and a large penis ever drove a Lambo. Especially not a yellow one.

And as for iPhones, I KNOW I’ve heard people put that little extra vowel in front on purpose. “I’ll call you on my iPhone.” “Let me just check on my iPhone.” “Look at the apps I have on my iPhone.”

They might as well just admit they all have tiny penises and have done with it.

I can’t speak to the penis size, but I’ve known a guy who made a fortune from nothing, grew his hair Fabio length and was often mistaken for him, was youngish, and had his own Lamborghini. Evidently the deal with the cars is that so many rich guys want them that there’s a waiting list. After he had ordered his, the car dealership offered him $75,000 just to be bumped down the list a little in favor of some other guy. Nope. Wouldn’t do it.

“shall93” should be “shallow” and 1993 was about when he bought it, too.

Oooh, I had some weight just “magically” fall off my body, too!  It happened quite literally overnight!  35 POUNDS went overnight!

Of course, the next morning, I woke up with a newborn, and I wouldn’t actually call that process “magical” come to think of it…. nevermind.

Weight loss sucks and it pisses me off to see it staged as easy or magical or I wasn’t even thinking about it.  At least show the heroine sweating a little at the new five mile walk she makes twice a day and I’ll be happy to buy it, okay?  Okay?

I do remember reading a few years back about a chick-lit author who’d actually got a sponsorship deal with Ford (I think). In return for a retainer, she had to give her main characters Fords (and of course cast them in a pleasant light. No good saying, “Jane got into her rust-bucket of a Fiesta and prayed it’d last the drive to work.”)

LOL.  My work in progress has the characters driving a beat-up ‘38 Chevy they refer to as the Piece of Shit.  I doubt it’ll get me any sponsorship deals any time soon.

The thing is, though in some rare cases weight can seem to kind of ‘magically’ come off when we have a major, rapid lifestyle change (even if that change is temporary, like a summer internship or whatever), the vast majority of people really struggle with weight. And the older you get, the less “magical” the weight loss gets.

The “weight loss is magic/easy mindset is a direct slap in the face to those who have an incredibly difficult time shedding pounds. And those people already have a lot of sentiment against them; like I said in my other post, many thin people look at heavy people and think they are lazy disgusting slobs who have “let themselves go” and just need to be stronger. The obesity epidemic in the U.S. proves it’s just not that simple.

Am I the only one bothered by the host mother’s name being “Ima”?  In most Street Lit (and my students’ essays, alas), “Ima” (pronounced to rhyme with lima as in the bean, not the city) functions as a contraction of “I’m going to” as in “Ima pop her *#(”  I suppose it COULD be short for “Immaculata” or something of that sort, but it seems unfortunate.

And just as a funny; the country with the highest rate of childhood obesity is….Mexico.  So tasty meals, yes definitely.  Frequently healthy ones, if non-processed ingredients are used.  Low calorie, not so much.

@Stacia K

Thanks—glad to know I’m not alone out there with all that king stuff.

Warrick—how he’s aged me. Who is this CSI guy? I mean, those CSI type shows are all so DARK?  Like, there is almost no light in government agency offices?  Hello—it’s a wonder they find anything there. Okay, now you know I have grandchildren who don’t know from “ancient history” and probably don’t watch CSI either, being too busy twittering and twaddling on with their lives in the brave new 21st century.

I wonder—do they read? Romance? When do they have the time with all their handheld devices and stuff….

Hah! spamword: trade65—no way—I worked dang hard to get here

@Robin -

like I said in my other post, many thin people look at heavy people and think they are lazy disgusting slobs who have “let themselves go” and just need to be stronger.

And that is why I stopped reading Cornwell’s books. Seems like she was always saying something nasty about fat people. Fat people and moms. All her serial killers have bad mothers and it’s mommy’s fault according to Scarpetta and Cornwell that the killers kill people.

Both my husband and I lose weight every time we move to a new country - it does just fall off.  And then, after a year, it steadily comes back on.  We’re about to move back across the Atlantic to Virginia, and the only thing I’m looking forward to in yet ANOTHER move is the novelty of being able to wear clothes two sizes smaller than I usually do.

One question, though (from a non-American) - there’s been a lot of fun pointed at the names in this novel, but aren’t the protagonists African-American and isn’t there an AA tradition of more creative naming?  Looking up the name ‘Tangela’ on the Baby Name Wizard site, the following sibling names are listed: Carvis, Keshia, Jamaar.

One question, though (from a non-American) - there’s been a lot of fun pointed at the names in this novel, but aren’t the protagonists African-American and isn’t there an AA tradition of more creative naming?  Looking up the name ‘Tangela’ on the Baby Name Wizard site, the following sibling names are listed: Carvis, Keshia, Jamaar.

poking fun at names that are unusual or creative is, to me, a sign of being closed-minded…most of the novels that i’ve read have heroines with similar names: maggie, susie, molly, beth or claire..the hero, more often as not, has the ‘unusual’ name…
i wonder what the comments would be if the characters were asian or hispanic or would their names be considered “typical”?

Beverly Sills famously described a character in Tales of Hoffmann as “Schlemiel…that’s his name, not a description.”

We all make connections that strike us as incongruous or funny. Tangela being one letter off tangelo is reasonable. So is Butkiss, for gosh sakes. That’s not racism. If we remember our youth, there always was some kid on the playground who could come up with an insulting version of any name. We laughed when it wasn’t our own.

I have to say my son spent a semester in Guadalajara and gained weight while he was there. “Tasty low-fat meals” are nearly non-existent, there’s taco stands, convenience stores and American fast food joints everywhere in that city. Even if she does walk everywhere weight is not just going to fall off, not unless she’s got a tapeworm. Which she could get from fresh unwashed fruit or vegetables but otherwise, not likely.

I have to admit I love the name Tangela.

All I have to say is that I am glad I’m not the only one who kept picturing a Pokemon while reading this.

In honor of the best crossover couple of all time: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/CannonBabe/epicromance.png

The cheapest weight loss plan ever? Dysentery. After two years in the Peace Corps I was able to get back into my 1986 Limited jeans (they taunt me even now from the furthest reaches of my closet). I could eat anything I wanted (or could find) in any quantity, but just had make sure I was near the facilities within 15 minutes. Tres sexy! Then I moved to France and cream sauces took hold. I don’t care for the magical weight loss trope. if I am in the mood for it to even be mentioned, then I think I will skip this one and reread Bet Me

@Tam - Well, Tanglela IS the name of a Pokemon. So it’s kind of hard to not poke fun. Especially since she’d have to be way young and her parents would’ve had to have had her as teenagers if she was named for a Pokemon.

As long as people are mentioning illness - time I lost the most weight was when I had mono. Sleeping 23 hours a day and only eating when mom would force me to sit up and eat will do that to you. (At the most I could take three spoonfuls of soup at a time before falling back to sleep.)

I actually laughed out loud reading some of the things you gals wrote! It’s amazing that SO many people commented on a book that they haven’t read. Why not read the book first, then comment? Just a suggestion, take it or leave it.

As for Tangela losing weight without trying, it happened to me and a whole bunch of my co-workers who moved to Korea to teach English. Not far fetched, it happens. Warrick and Tangela aren’t names that I made up either; they can be found in any baby book.

I’m sorry that you didn’t enjoy, LOVE ON THE ROCKS, Sarah, but don’t give up on Kimani Romances. I don’t write the kind of book you enjoy, and that’s okay. Keep reading and I am sure you’ll find an AA author that you’ll like.

Pamela Yaye

Um, on a different topic than names, or the whole weight-loss thing (which I’m not even going to TOUCH because, believe me, I would go on for a very long while)—as a Seattlite, I have to say:
The Mariners would never

EVER

beat the Yankees.

I love them, but they really suck. That is all.