Bitchin' Blog Posts

LOLHoff: A Contest of Hofftastic Awesomeness

by SB Sarah | June 29, 2007 | Friday at 4:51 pm | 86 Comments

It’s time for another SBTB Fark-style contest of complete madness and hi-freaking-larity.

Behold: The Hasselhoff. You thought the joke was dead? Not so, says the copies of the Hoffobiography now in my dining room.

Your challenge! Create a LOLHoff using any of the many fine images of the Hoffster that you can find on that wily interweb. For those unsure of that of which I write, an LOLHoff is similar to a LOLCat or a LOLHunk.

You can post your LOLHoff (plsplspls, don’t make it bigger than 300x300 px)  in the comments using an IMG HTML tag or you can email them to Candy or I and we will upload and post them for you.

We shall laugh and post and Hoff and vote all in this thread, and discuss who has best used their skills for their LOLHoff. Voting will end on Monday July 2, whenever we decide to stop counting.

There be Winners? Then let there be prizes!

1st place: The official Hoffobiography of your very own, and a $25 Amazon gift certificate.

2nd place: The official Hoffobiography and a $10 Amazon gift certificate.

3rd place: The official Hoffobiography and a Hoff Plane of your very own (paper not Boeing).

EDITED TO ADD: Should you win the Hoffatstic biography prize, please consider that we’d welcome your Guest Bitch Reviewâ„¢ of the content therein, because there can never be too much Hoff.

But of course, you can has samples:

Dogs

 

Hoff

 

image

 

image

 

image

Filed: But...that's not really about romance novels, Go Ahead, Win Some Shit

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  1. Bella said on 06.29.07 at 05:22 PM • [comment link]

    oh, god… not sure that i want to win that *ahem* hofftastic prize…  but the amazon cert is tempting!

  2. Rhonda Stapleton said on 06.29.07 at 06:16 PM • [comment link]

    ROFL—awesome!

    But when is the deadline for posting?  Did I miss it?  Am I not awake?  haha

  3. rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 06:29 PM • [comment link]

    i cut his head off…
    sorry! lol


  4. rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 06:49 PM • [comment link]

    is this one better?


  5. Bella said on 06.29.07 at 08:03 PM • [comment link]

    awesome Rebyj!!!!  *gigglesnort*

  6. Dragonpaws said on 06.29.07 at 08:38 PM • [comment link]

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Tah dah!  The Hoff at Avenue Q

  7. Amy said on 06.29.07 at 08:59 PM • [comment link]

  8. rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 10:30 PM • [comment link]

    lol this is too fun

    my last one ..i think


    [img=http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/9754/hffzn2.jpg]

  9. rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 10:32 PM • [comment link]

    whoops..
    try again

  10. Whitemouse said on 06.29.07 at 11:08 PM • [comment link]

  11. rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 11:15 PM • [comment link]

    LMAO at the ” OH NOES” LOL
    can’t wait till hoff shows up at the bitches book signing!

  12. Charlene said on 06.29.07 at 11:29 PM • [comment link]

  13. Whitemouse said on 06.29.07 at 11:41 PM • [comment link]

    OMGWTFBBQ had me giggling like a idjit.

    And the puppet secks one is also made of awesome. Like the Hoff himself, of course.

  14. Invisigoth said on 06.30.07 at 12:06 AM • [comment link]

  15. Karen Duvall said on 06.30.07 at 12:45 AM • [comment link]

    I tried to paste a picture here but nothing happened.

  16. darlynne said on 06.30.07 at 12:54 AM • [comment link]

    Can I vote for all of them? Such a talented Bitchery.

  17. Dragonpaws said on 06.30.07 at 01:29 AM • [comment link]

    Two more—I couldn’t resist!

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

  18. Whitemouse said on 06.30.07 at 01:53 AM • [comment link]

    “Ah sex u” also cracked me up. I agree with Darlynne - these are all too good!

  19. Holly said on 06.30.07 at 02:08 AM • [comment link]

    This is my attempt.

  20. Holly said on 06.30.07 at 02:08 AM • [comment link]

    ok, well that didn’t work. Hmm

  21. Candy said on 06.30.07 at 02:13 AM • [comment link]

    To everyone who tried posting pictures, only to have it Not Work, just e-mail ‘em to either Sarah or me, and we’ll post them for you.

  22. Holly said on 06.30.07 at 02:18 AM • [comment link]

    Finally figured it out.

  23. jaye said on 06.30.07 at 03:23 AM • [comment link]

  24. jaye said on 06.30.07 at 03:28 AM • [comment link]

    ‘K, that didn’t work out…  If this doesn’t work, I’ll just email it. (btw, love Ah Sex U, yes? lol!)

  25. jaye said on 06.30.07 at 03:58 AM • [comment link]

    One more… (this contest is addictive).

    Da Hoff in “Da Club”

  26. Sarah Frantz said on 06.30.07 at 04:10 AM • [comment link]

    I LOVE the blindnzz one!

  27. Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:02 AM • [comment link]

    Can’t believe no one’s gone for this yet:

    HOFFBURGER2

  28. Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:10 AM • [comment link]

    Hee hee…too much fun!

    stolenhoffbucket

  29. Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:20 AM • [comment link]

    “I call heem Thunderplug.”

    thunderplug

  30. Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:34 AM • [comment link]

    fingerhass

  31. anonymouse said on 06.30.07 at 05:38 AM • [comment link]

    Can’t believe no one’s gone for this yet

    Well, probably because addiction isn’t very funny.

    But I like his “leetle” friend very much! :-D

  32. Candy said on 06.30.07 at 06:19 AM • [comment link]

    Soni: Holy shit, that is so, so wrong. My cats ran away when I started cackling helplessly.

  33. Nora Roberts said on 06.30.07 at 11:53 AM • [comment link]

    You guys, you guys!

    You should all go on America’s Got Talent so The Hoff could vote for YOU.

  34. DS said on 06.30.07 at 03:20 PM • [comment link]

    Can’t believe no one’s gone for this yet:

    I haven’t made my coffee yet or you would owe me a new keyboard.

    word:  post34

  35. Laura C said on 06.30.07 at 04:43 PM • [comment link]

  36. SB Sarah said on 06.30.07 at 05:26 PM • [comment link]

    An Entry from TAM:

  37. SB Sarah said on 06.30.07 at 05:27 PM • [comment link]

    An entry from comment mistress:

  38. Rosina Lippi said on 06.30.07 at 07:42 PM • [comment link]

    Hasselhoff3

    I can’t believe I’m doing this.

  39. Candy said on 06.30.07 at 07:48 PM • [comment link]

    This one’s from Nanna:

    LOLHOFF by Nanna

  40. Candy said on 06.30.07 at 07:49 PM • [comment link]

    And one from Karen:

    LOLHOFF by Karen

  41. Candy said on 06.30.07 at 07:51 PM • [comment link]

    And two from arachniphobe aphobia:

    LOLHOFF by arachniphobe aphobia

    Another LOLHOOFF by arachniphobe aphobia

  42. Rosina Lippi said on 06.30.07 at 07:52 PM • [comment link]

    Hasselhoff1

  43. Emma Wayne Porter said on 06.30.07 at 10:58 PM • [comment link]

    This isn’t really what I did with the preceeding twenty minutes of my life. Really, it’s not.

  44. Invisigoth said on 07.01.07 at 12:11 AM • [comment link]

    bwahahahahahahaha!!!

    they just keep getting better and better.

  45. jaye said on 07.01.07 at 12:39 AM • [comment link]

    And yet, another one.

  46. Laura C said on 07.01.07 at 01:51 AM • [comment link]

    I can’t stop. It’s like a disease.

  47. mariskunk said on 07.01.07 at 05:36 AM • [comment link]

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    YAHOO

  48. MamaNice said on 07.01.07 at 03:42 PM • [comment link]

    Ok - I thought puppetsecks was da awessomest…then I saw the horn one and almost died. I’m going to hell, my ribald laughter brought my 4 year old running - and her comment, was, “Eeew, that guy’s gross.” Aw, Hoffster, so much grossness to lurve, my friend.
    Keep em’ comin’ bitches! Maybe I’ll hoff it up and send one in too.

  49. MamaNice said on 07.01.07 at 04:17 PM • [comment link]

    It’s not too late ot enter, ees it?

    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

  50. Darlene Marshall said on 07.01.07 at 10:21 PM • [comment link]

    OMG, too, too funny!  I cannot pick a favorite, but the “WWND?” one still has me cackling.  Soooo many possibilities here!

  51. Josie said on 07.02.07 at 01:29 AM • [comment link]

    Oh God, I can’t stop laughing.

    It’s pretty close - Soni’s are hilarious and Nanna’s ‘invisible sex appeal’ is so spot on buuuuut I think I have to vote for Mariskunk!

    ‘I has a horn’. Just brilliant.

  52. B said on 07.02.07 at 09:20 PM • [comment link]

    I vote for ‘ah sex u’

  53. rebyj said on 07.02.07 at 09:39 PM • [comment link]

    i vote for charlenes omgwtfbbq one lol

    i think his back hair is on fire LOLOL

  54. Meredith said on 07.02.07 at 10:03 PM • [comment link]

    Puppetsecks all the way.

  55. Elaine said on 07.02.07 at 10:05 PM • [comment link]

    My vote is for the one with

    Hates ‘em, precious, we does.

  56. m said on 07.02.07 at 10:13 PM • [comment link]

    i vote for “o nooooes they stole my bucket”.  smart. very smart.

  57. Sandra D said on 07.02.07 at 10:22 PM • [comment link]

    I have to vote for the Fisting one from rebyj. If I don’t, she’ll hurt me.

  58. Stephanie said on 07.02.07 at 10:24 PM • [comment link]

    My vote goes to puppet secks, though really all the contributions were astonishing.

  59. Reneesance said on 07.02.07 at 10:25 PM • [comment link]

    I loves the horn (honk honk)

    And bitches goes in here

    In that order

  60. anadaslu said on 07.02.07 at 10:33 PM • [comment link]

    1.Fisting
    2.Ah sex u

  61. MT said on 07.02.07 at 11:28 PM • [comment link]

    1. My hand.  Talk to it.
    (Is that available in poster size?)
    2. Beeches goes in here.
    3. I has a horn.

  62. Castiron said on 07.02.07 at 11:34 PM • [comment link]

    1. Soni’s soap.
    2. Fisting.
    Honorable Mention: all the rest

  63. Karen Duvall said on 07.02.07 at 11:44 PM • [comment link]

    I love the “great big wiggly hairy balses, wanna pet ‘em?” Cracked me up!!!

  64. Kimbelina said on 07.03.07 at 12:01 AM • [comment link]

    All are absolutely & hilariously brilliant but my favs (in order) are:

    1.ah secks u
    2.invisible sex appeal
    3.ohhh nooooes they stole my bucket

  65. Helen M said on 07.03.07 at 12:30 AM • [comment link]

    omg omg omg OMG. Am crying with laughter over here!

    They’re all amazing, but my favourites in order are:
    1. Ah sex u yes?
    2. OMGWTFBBQ
    3. Got mantitty?

    (so fitting, that last one, given that my word submission is mans87)

  66. Bella said on 07.03.07 at 01:04 AM • [comment link]

    1. Ah sex u. Yes?
      (That is so TOTALLY what he’s thinking!)
    2. Fisting: ...
    3. Say hello to mah leetle friend


    they’re all so good!

  67. Gail D said on 07.03.07 at 01:23 AM • [comment link]

    My faves are 1. puppetsecks
    2. ah sex you
    and 3. I has a horn.

    These are too-too-too funny. (snert!)

    (Sekrit word: big77—which ought to be usable on a lolhoff somehow!)

  68. Carrie Lofty said on 07.03.07 at 01:25 AM • [comment link]

    Ah sex u. Totally.

  69. Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 01:51 AM • [comment link]

    I’s in ur contst, postin l8…

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

  70. E.D'Trix said on 07.03.07 at 02:05 AM • [comment link]

    1: My hand.
    2: Fisting.
    3: I has a horn.
    4: Bitches goes in here?

    Although frankly, all are HEAVENLY.

  71. Carrie Lofty said on 07.03.07 at 02:09 AM • [comment link]

    I can’t help being a joiner.

  72. SB Sarah's Hubby said on 07.03.07 at 02:24 AM • [comment link]

    I couldn’t choose, but then the Pepsi one was posted, which I love, so I’ll go with that.

  73. darlynne said on 07.03.07 at 02:50 AM • [comment link]

    Tough, very tough to choose. Is this like Chicago where we vote early and often, dead or alive?

    1. Whitemouse’s Oh Noes.
    2. Girly legs, hairy balls
    3. Puppet seks

    All were inspired. Thank you for much snorting.

  74. Holly said on 07.03.07 at 03:09 AM • [comment link]

    1. ah sex u
    2. I haz a horn
    3. My hand

    lol so hard to choose

  75. Katidid said on 07.03.07 at 03:22 AM • [comment link]

    Ooooh! So hard!

    I think, in the end, I have to go with Rug burns though.

    But it was really close with Pepsi and fisting.

    Well done!

    secret password: society98: the society for hassling the hoff, perhaps?

  76. MamaNice said on 07.03.07 at 03:51 AM • [comment link]

    Though I do lurve the Hoff ditchin the bitches in Kit, I want to spread the lurve - so heres goes
    1: Haz horn.
    2: Puppet secks
    3: Pepsi!

    And, because I just can’t seem to help myself…


    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

    My vw is “time24” I know it’s time to stop, but it’s just so much fun!

    I think LOLHoffs may be more addictive than Tetris.

  77. smartmensab-tch said on 07.03.07 at 05:12 AM • [comment link]

    ah sex u. Runner up:  i’s in ur pepsi.

  78. Lisa #2 said on 07.03.07 at 05:41 AM • [comment link]

    Beeches goes in here…yes?  It’s a winnah!

    And the security word of the day is…

    hot39

    appropriate, no?

  79. smoorman said on 07.03.07 at 06:41 AM • [comment link]

    I vote for:

    1: I’s in ur pepsi (makes me glad I’m drinking coke…and rum)

    2: I has horn

    I shall now go laugh hysterically. (this isn’t my first drink :))

  80. Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 07:00 AM • [comment link]

    This is far, far too addictive.

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

  81. Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 07:03 AM • [comment link]

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    I’ll stop soon, I swear.

  82. Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 07:11 AM • [comment link]

    Last one, srsly. 

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    ... unless I find another irresistible Hoff pic…

  83. jocelynnesimone said on 07.03.07 at 07:41 AM • [comment link]

    It’s not midnight here yet so…

    1. Puppet Secks
    2. Ah sex u
    3. Fisting

    They were all bloody brilliant but these made me snort my soda and scare my dog.

  84. fiveandfour said on 07.03.07 at 08:23 AM • [comment link]

    Ho God, soooo hard to choose.  But here goes:

    1.  Mah fingers, they smell like Hass
    2.  Beeches goes in here, yes?
    3.  Fisting…if I can take it so can you

    And honorable mention for I can have puppet secks? and I Can Haz Cheezburgers (so wrong it’s right).

  85. Chez said on 07.03.07 at 11:29 AM • [comment link]

    1. Puppetsechs
    2. Fisting
    3. Ah sex u

  86. SB Sarah said on 07.03.07 at 02:14 PM • [comment link]

    I iz closing comments now. Thank you for Hoffing!

  87. Add a Comment

    Sorry, comments are now closed for this post.

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