Bitchin' Blog Posts
LOLHoff: A Contest of Hofftastic Awesomeness
by SB Sarah | June 29, 2007 | Friday at 4:51 pm | 86 CommentsIt’s time for another SBTB Fark-style contest of complete madness and hi-freaking-larity.
Behold: The Hasselhoff. You thought the joke was dead? Not so, says the copies of the Hoffobiography now in my dining room.
Your challenge! Create a LOLHoff using any of the many fine images of the Hoffster that you can find on that wily interweb. For those unsure of that of which I write, an LOLHoff is similar to a LOLCat or a LOLHunk.
You can post your LOLHoff (plsplspls, don’t make it bigger than 300x300 px) in the comments using an IMG HTML tag or you can email them to Candy or I and we will upload and post them for you.
We shall laugh and post and Hoff and vote all in this thread, and discuss who has best used their skills for their LOLHoff. Voting will end on Monday July 2, whenever we decide to stop counting.
There be Winners? Then let there be prizes!
1st place: The official Hoffobiography of your very own, and a $25 Amazon gift certificate.
2nd place: The official Hoffobiography and a $10 Amazon gift certificate.
3rd place: The official Hoffobiography and a Hoff Plane of your very own (paper not Boeing).
EDITED TO ADD: Should you win the Hoffatstic biography prize, please consider that we’d welcome your Guest Bitch Reviewâ„¢ of the content therein, because there can never be too much Hoff.
But of course, you can has samples:
Bella said on 06.29.07 at 05:22 PM
oh, god… not sure that i want to win that *ahem* hofftastic prize… but the amazon cert is tempting!
Rhonda Stapleton said on 06.29.07 at 06:16 PM
ROFL—awesome!
But when is the deadline for posting? Did I miss it? Am I not awake? haha
rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 06:29 PM
i cut his head off…
sorry! lol
[URL=http://img408.imageshack.us/my.php?image=motivator1862635vd5.jpg][IMG]http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/262/motivator1862635vd5.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 06:49 PM
is this one better?
[URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/313/hffel9.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Bella said on 06.29.07 at 08:03 PM
awesome Rebyj!!!! *gigglesnort*
Dragonpaws said on 06.29.07 at 08:38 PM
Tah dah! The Hoff at Avenue Q
Amy said on 06.29.07 at 08:59 PM
rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 10:30 PM
lol this is too fun
my last one ..i think
[img=http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/9754/hffzn2.jpg]
rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 10:32 PM
whoops..
try again
[URL=http://img509.imageshack.us/my.php?image=hffzn2.jpg][IMG]http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/9754/hffzn2.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Whitemouse said on 06.29.07 at 11:08 PM
rebyj said on 06.29.07 at 11:15 PM
LMAO at the ” OH NOES” LOL
can’t wait till hoff shows up at the bitches book signing!
Charlene said on 06.29.07 at 11:29 PM
Whitemouse said on 06.29.07 at 11:41 PM
OMGWTFBBQ had me giggling like a idjit.
And the puppet secks one is also made of awesome. Like the Hoff himself, of course.
Invisigoth said on 06.30.07 at 12:06 AM
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c161/Shadowtracker/hasselndahoff.jpg
Karen Duvall said on 06.30.07 at 12:45 AM
I tried to paste a picture here but nothing happened.
darlynne said on 06.30.07 at 12:54 AM
Can I vote for all of them? Such a talented Bitchery.
Dragonpaws said on 06.30.07 at 01:29 AM
Two more—I couldn’t resist!
Whitemouse said on 06.30.07 at 01:53 AM
“Ah sex u” also cracked me up. I agree with Darlynne - these are all too good!
Holly said on 06.30.07 at 02:08 AM
This is my attempt.
Holly said on 06.30.07 at 02:08 AM
ok, well that didn’t work. Hmm
Candy said on 06.30.07 at 02:13 AM
To everyone who tried posting pictures, only to have it Not Work, just e-mail ‘em to either Sarah or me, and we’ll post them for you.
Holly said on 06.30.07 at 02:18 AM
Finally figured it out.
jaye said on 06.30.07 at 03:23 AM
jaye said on 06.30.07 at 03:28 AM
‘K, that didn’t work out… If this doesn’t work, I’ll just email it. (btw, love Ah Sex U, yes? lol!)
jaye said on 06.30.07 at 03:58 AM
One more… (this contest is addictive).
Da Hoff in “Da Club”
Sarah Frantz said on 06.30.07 at 04:10 AM
I LOVE the blindnzz one!
Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:02 AM
Can’t believe no one’s gone for this yet:
Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:10 AM
Hee hee…too much fun!
Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:20 AM
“I call heem Thunderplug.”
Soni said on 06.30.07 at 05:34 AM
anonymouse said on 06.30.07 at 05:38 AM
Can’t believe no one’s gone for this yet
Well, probably because addiction isn’t very funny.
But I like his “leetle” friend very much! :-D
Candy said on 06.30.07 at 06:19 AM
Soni: Holy shit, that is so, so wrong. My cats ran away when I started cackling helplessly.
Nora Roberts said on 06.30.07 at 11:53 AM
You guys, you guys!
You should all go on America’s Got Talent so The Hoff could vote for YOU.
DS said on 06.30.07 at 03:20 PM
Can’t believe no one’s gone for this yet:
I haven’t made my coffee yet or you would owe me a new keyboard.
word: post34
Laura C said on 06.30.07 at 04:43 PM
SB Sarah said on 06.30.07 at 05:26 PM
An Entry from TAM:
SB Sarah said on 06.30.07 at 05:27 PM
An entry from comment mistress:
Rosina Lippi said on 06.30.07 at 07:42 PM
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Candy said on 06.30.07 at 07:48 PM
This one’s from Nanna:
Candy said on 06.30.07 at 07:49 PM
And one from Karen:
Candy said on 06.30.07 at 07:51 PM
And two from arachniphobe aphobia:
Rosina Lippi said on 06.30.07 at 07:52 PM
Emma Wayne Porter said on 06.30.07 at 10:58 PM
This isn’t really what I did with the preceeding twenty minutes of my life. Really, it’s not.
Invisigoth said on 07.01.07 at 12:11 AM
bwahahahahahahaha!!!
they just keep getting better and better.
jaye said on 07.01.07 at 12:39 AM
And yet, another one.
Laura C said on 07.01.07 at 01:51 AM
I can’t stop. It’s like a disease.
mariskunk said on 07.01.07 at 05:36 AM
YAHOO
MamaNice said on 07.01.07 at 03:42 PM
Ok - I thought puppetsecks was da awessomest…then I saw the horn one and almost died. I’m going to hell, my ribald laughter brought my 4 year old running - and her comment, was, “Eeew, that guy’s gross.” Aw, Hoffster, so much grossness to lurve, my friend.
Keep em’ comin’ bitches! Maybe I’ll hoff it up and send one in too.
MamaNice said on 07.01.07 at 04:17 PM
It’s not too late ot enter, ees it?
Darlene Marshall said on 07.01.07 at 10:21 PM
OMG, too, too funny! I cannot pick a favorite, but the “WWND?” one still has me cackling. Soooo many possibilities here!
Josie said on 07.02.07 at 01:29 AM
Oh God, I can’t stop laughing.
It’s pretty close - Soni’s are hilarious and Nanna’s ‘invisible sex appeal’ is so spot on buuuuut I think I have to vote for Mariskunk!
‘I has a horn’. Just brilliant.
B said on 07.02.07 at 09:20 PM
I vote for ‘ah sex u’
rebyj said on 07.02.07 at 09:39 PM
i vote for charlenes omgwtfbbq one lol
i think his back hair is on fire LOLOL
Meredith said on 07.02.07 at 10:03 PM
Puppetsecks all the way.
Elaine said on 07.02.07 at 10:05 PM
My vote is for the one with
Hates ‘em, precious, we does.
m said on 07.02.07 at 10:13 PM
i vote for “o nooooes they stole my bucket”. smart. very smart.
Sandra D said on 07.02.07 at 10:22 PM
I have to vote for the Fisting one from rebyj. If I don’t, she’ll hurt me.
Stephanie said on 07.02.07 at 10:24 PM
My vote goes to puppet secks, though really all the contributions were astonishing.
Reneesance said on 07.02.07 at 10:25 PM
I loves the horn (honk honk)
And bitches goes in here
In that order
anadaslu said on 07.02.07 at 10:33 PM
1.Fisting
2.Ah sex u
MT said on 07.02.07 at 11:28 PM
1. My hand. Talk to it.
(Is that available in poster size?)
2. Beeches goes in here.
3. I has a horn.
Castiron said on 07.02.07 at 11:34 PM
1. Soni’s soap.
2. Fisting.
Honorable Mention: all the rest
Karen Duvall said on 07.02.07 at 11:44 PM
I love the “great big wiggly hairy balses, wanna pet ‘em?” Cracked me up!!!
Kimbelina said on 07.03.07 at 12:01 AM
All are absolutely & hilariously brilliant but my favs (in order) are:
1.ah secks u
2.invisible sex appeal
3.ohhh nooooes they stole my bucket
Helen M said on 07.03.07 at 12:30 AM
omg omg omg OMG. Am crying with laughter over here!
They’re all amazing, but my favourites in order are:
1. Ah sex u yes?
2. OMGWTFBBQ
3. Got mantitty?
(so fitting, that last one, given that my word submission is mans87)
Bella said on 07.03.07 at 01:04 AM
1. Ah sex u. Yes?
(That is so TOTALLY what he’s thinking!)
2. Fisting: ...
3. Say hello to mah leetle friend
they’re all so good!
Gail D said on 07.03.07 at 01:23 AM
My faves are 1. puppetsecks
2. ah sex you
and 3. I has a horn.
These are too-too-too funny. (snert!)
(Sekrit word: big77—which ought to be usable on a lolhoff somehow!)
Carrie Lofty said on 07.03.07 at 01:25 AM
Ah sex u. Totally.
Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 01:51 AM
I’s in ur contst, postin l8…
E.D'Trix said on 07.03.07 at 02:05 AM
1: My hand.
2: Fisting.
3: I has a horn.
4: Bitches goes in here?
Although frankly, all are HEAVENLY.
Carrie Lofty said on 07.03.07 at 02:09 AM
I can’t help being a joiner.
SB Sarah's Hubby said on 07.03.07 at 02:24 AM
I couldn’t choose, but then the Pepsi one was posted, which I love, so I’ll go with that.
darlynne said on 07.03.07 at 02:50 AM
Tough, very tough to choose. Is this like Chicago where we vote early and often, dead or alive?
1. Whitemouse’s Oh Noes.
2. Girly legs, hairy balls
3. Puppet seks
All were inspired. Thank you for much snorting.
Holly said on 07.03.07 at 03:09 AM
1. ah sex u
2. I haz a horn
3. My hand
lol so hard to choose
Katidid said on 07.03.07 at 03:22 AM
Ooooh! So hard!
I think, in the end, I have to go with Rug burns though.
But it was really close with Pepsi and fisting.
Well done!
secret password: society98: the society for hassling the hoff, perhaps?
MamaNice said on 07.03.07 at 03:51 AM
Though I do lurve the Hoff ditchin the bitches in Kit, I want to spread the lurve - so heres goes
1: Haz horn.
2: Puppet secks
3: Pepsi!
And, because I just can’t seem to help myself…
My vw is “time24” I know it’s time to stop, but it’s just so much fun!
I think LOLHoffs may be more addictive than Tetris.
smartmensab-tch said on 07.03.07 at 05:12 AM
ah sex u. Runner up: i’s in ur pepsi.
Lisa #2 said on 07.03.07 at 05:41 AM
Beeches goes in here…yes? It’s a winnah!
And the security word of the day is…
hot39
appropriate, no?
smoorman said on 07.03.07 at 06:41 AM
I vote for:
1: I’s in ur pepsi (makes me glad I’m drinking coke…and rum)
2: I has horn
I shall now go laugh hysterically. (this isn’t my first drink :))
Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 07:00 AM
This is far, far too addictive.
Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 07:03 AM
I’ll stop soon, I swear.
Amy "Fuckheady Bitchipants" E said on 07.03.07 at 07:11 AM
Last one, srsly.
... unless I find another irresistible Hoff pic…
jocelynnesimone said on 07.03.07 at 07:41 AM
It’s not midnight here yet so…
1. Puppet Secks
2. Ah sex u
3. Fisting
They were all bloody brilliant but these made me snort my soda and scare my dog.
fiveandfour said on 07.03.07 at 08:23 AM
Ho God, soooo hard to choose. But here goes:
1. Mah fingers, they smell like Hass
2. Beeches goes in here, yes?
3. Fisting…if I can take it so can you
And honorable mention for I can have puppet secks? and I Can Haz Cheezburgers (so wrong it’s right).
Chez said on 07.03.07 at 11:29 AM
1. Puppetsechs
2. Fisting
3. Ah sex u
SB Sarah said on 07.03.07 at 02:14 PM
I iz closing comments now. Thank you for Hoffing!
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