Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Oh my. Penis goes where? Perfect.

I love these sample covers!!! I did some hunting and found a HI-larious site:
www.worldoflongmire.com (under features) that spoofs romance book covers.  Funny, funny!

#2: SRY U WUZ SAYIN SOMETHIN?

LMAO! Psssst You is adopted! LMAO!!!

Ohhhh… penis goes there LOL! The double penis one is amazing. ;D

But I have to admit, I think Logmire has you beat with his The Love Bum cover:

I think changing the tag-line under the title and the ‘Author of’ part to match the title was a particularly brilliant touch. I mean, The Love Bum: The stars were his ceiling, a refrigerator box his den of love…” ROFL!

I really wish I had Photoshop now…

And because fart jokes never get old, one more:

LOL!

I really needed these today.

#5 NOM NOM NOM!!

OR

#6 UR ASS I FINDZ IT… NO SRSLY I FINDZ IT… NO WAITZ…

http://www.geekflirt.com/ucats/saved/1208378728583.jpg

#1: Ur man-titty iz makin me hungrys.

#4: Want oral first! kthx.
or
Ur conditioner.  I needs some.

#5: Ur Man-titty. Do Not Want!

Trying again to post directly into comment….

ok, here’s a lame one I did with one of my own covers! LOL!

#1 - I CAN HAS UR PENIS NAO?

#2 - I M IN UR EAR, NOMMING UR EARWIGS

#3 - I HAS SEKRIT BEBEH.

#3:  My adamz apple…I hides it.

#1
MMM, I LICK OFF ALL YOUR HAIR

#5
DAMN, YOU IS UGLY

#7
WAIT, THE SWAN IS WATCHING!

Ye gods, I’m channelling Jimmy Buffett:

I don’t know -
I don’t know -
I don’t know where it’sa gonna go,
Butt it ain’t goin’ there!

#3 Man Titteh…I needz it

I’m a lurker but I’ve being compelled by the LOLgawds to comment.

#1 - Nao move hand leetle more 2 center.  Guuuud.

#5 - I sayz stop!  Americanz Idul iz on!!

Personally I love the Penis Sequels…and now I’m going to go off and look for some of my own to Photoshop.  But in the meantime:

1.  Turn ma ribbon key: I iz winding down
2.  Plz help cover up ma wardrobe malfunction kthx
3.  Look in2 ma eyz, U is feelin sleepy…now tell me ur bank detailz
4.  I’s a redhead in pink…kill me now
5.  Get this eegle off my hed…I payz U kthx
6.  Ow!  U broke by dose!
7.  Dude…iz U wearin nail polish?

logmire’s “Pull My Finger” cover almost made me piss myself. 

A few of my LOLCoverz…

#4 I HAZ STOCKHOLM SYNDROME KTHXBAI
#5 - PSSSST…THAT BIG_ASS BIRD JUST CRAPPED ON MY BACK.

Because I have way too much time on my hands…

#1   My leg broke. Carry me wid stubby armz.
#2   Fall asleep, Mr.? I wake you with lil’ purpl Tazr!
#3   Tweezy nose hairs fall in lip gloss. I hidez.
#4   Fabio! Why U no CALL me?!
#5   Srry. No spirit animal in 3-some.
#6   2 many Mojitos. U carry me.
#7   Leda’s boyfriend’s ASS. I kickt it.

One more for #1…

Sansabelt and Mullet…

I can has?

Can’t stop. Another for #1.

Fabio!

My name iz KIM!

Dangit! That was for #4

“Fabio!

My name iz KIM!”

#5  

Urk..

Fly-by wedgie.

Fun. Must stop now. :)

Gemma! Ha! LOve the buttsecks one. I love that a cover like that exists. In fact, I might have to look that up and buy it.

#1   invisable cloze brush
#2   android luv.  We haz it
#3   green scum.  It etz us.

Jennifer! You made me LOL at the ‘hooha’ cover. Hands down, iz mah favorite.

The “My Philips’ Head…” one is brilliant!

“My Phillips Head” for the win.

Can I vote for myself? Because I laughed myself silly making this one.

I love the phillips head one too!  It definitely has my vote!  I even brought my husband over and he chuckled too!

Oh bother! I just relocated, and all my books are still packed (and my scanner not set up). I keep meaning to post the vintage Johanna Lindsey cover where the nekkid man has a burst (pointy seal with publisher’s blurb) covering his butt.

Anyway…

#1: I PULL STRING. WHY U NO EAT?

#2: I LUVS YOU, ANDROID GURL.

#3: DIS NOT FAN. I FRILL-NECKED LIZARD WERE.

#4: UR HAIR BLOCKS MAH VIEW UF CEILING CAT.

#7. UR SKIN…IT’S SO…GROOVY. EVERYTING SO TRIPPY…

Chicken pocks one has mine.  LMAO.  Brillaint.  Beyond brillaint.

Laughing myself silly. “I iz doktor.” Brilliant.

The mantittie milk one is brilliant ! Also the Philips head one made me chucklet too.

Testing to see if I can do this ...

Oh oh, I figured it out!!!

— Bonz

I had to try this, heh heh. Hopefully I won’t screw up the HTML…

Oops. Glaggh. Sorry about that. I emailed mine to Sarah. Just tape a big DOH! onto my forehead.

Trying again. If I mess up this time with the HTML, I am officially going to go blow my husband and call it a night…

Help!  I don’t know how to add my picture!

Ok,  I iz doktor was my fave….but I about busted a gut when I saw “speshul bubbles”!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Srsly.

Oh, special bubbles for the win!  I’m eating dinner and I almost snorted corn!  That’s what I get for reading these while eating.  :)

Okay, I’ve got two

and my favorite

Check out mt l33t photoshop skills.  I just hope they show, my html isn’t really to par

OK, I have no idea if this will work, so DIS IZ TEST:

Spamword: island77 - yes I was born on an island in ‘77!  this thing is magic!

Trying again ...

Sooo addicting, but I promise ... no morez!

— bonz

*snort* my captcha code was piece69…

What a glorious comeback.
And thanks for thinking of us down under….

I’m laughing too hard to come up with a lolcat… I mean, lolbookcovva.

Moar! Moar!

Hope this works…

But wait, I had an idea…

These aren’t mine, but they are my favorite thing on the internet ever so I wanted to share them:

Romance novel parodies by VeryBigJen

It helps that she’s a photoshop pro, I mean a real pro.

Buttseks plan, LOL!  In ur hoo ha, LOL!  Leroy Jenkins!?!?! OMG, I’m gonna die, srsly!!

spamword:  yet98.  No, I’m not (but I’ll be halfway there this summer).

LOL!!! Leroy Jenkins :)

I’ve srsly busted a gut over all of these!

After this, I promise I’m going to turn the computer off and go to sleep ...

— Bonz

Leroy Jenkins FTW!

But “My philips head..” was a close close second for me.

So many great covers, so hard to choose!

I loved the phillips head and the special bubbles but Gemma’s buttsecks plan was my absolute fav!

o, the laffs tey hrt.

I vote fore “IM in ur hoo ha, bein so ded”

Okay, I’ve never posted here before but I couldn’t resist coming up with something for this contest.  Let’s hope this works…

Trying this one more time (I’m bad with coding if it isn’t obvious)

These are great!  Love the ‘buttsecks plan’ cover and the ‘speshul bubbles’.  Hmmm…wonder if I can come up with something….

Lord, I hope this works. My abject and groveling if it don’t.

Well, crap. I suk. Let’s try this again.

It’s either Philips Head or Chikin Poks for me.

Or… (just checking I can get the code right)

Groovy.

Phillips Head?!1!  Leroy Jenkins!??11

Oh noes, 2 much laffin!

Iz ded.

ROFLMAO!  You all are WAY more creative and talented than me!

BRAVO!!!!!!!

(My verification word is “average82”! That’s me! Snort!!)

LMAO- Cat Marsters Buttsecks covers are killing me!

My votes go to “I can has methadone”, closely followed by the two-fer of Cat Marsten’s buttsecks combo.

The mantitty milk one was brilliant.

I like the “If you find it” one the best so far, but all of these are excellent.

I inspired a contest?! YAY.

My brain iz ded, though. :( My only good idea is already up there as a sample. BUT EVERYONE ELSE’S ARE AWESOME.

(What, no ‘preview’ option?  Hope that worked.)

Thanks everyone for LOLing at my Phillips’ Head one. :-)

And because I can’t stop doing these…

My verification word was “bring34.” I’m sure I could find 34 more of these if it wasn’t for that little thing called a job.

BTW, I love the secret bubbles one. I almost spit out my frappuccino.

so many funny ones!

  Gemma’s mantitty milk one made me laugh the hardest.

My faves so far are the Phillips Head one and the man-titty milk (last night at choir, we were singing a Handel piece, which has the line “kings shall be our nursing fathers”).

Mrm. I don’t think mine worked, so here’s another try, different host.  Sorry if they in fact DID work and you’re forced to see ‘em twice—I’d delete the other tries if I could.

P.S.: I love “Leroy Jenkins” and “You eated my cookie?”!

Ok, coversnark is really making me miss the pop-up comments window :(
So much better when I could read the comments and look at the covers side-by-side. Though I suppose I could always open another window…..... But that little pink window sure came in handy and was easily hidden when I had to look busy at work!

Props to Eva Lynn. I was trying to work out how you could get ceiling cat in, but gave up. You carried it off with panache.

I have about fifteen favourite entries so far. I don’t think I can bring myself to vote against fourteen of them. Hmmm.

Okay, I know this is past time. Here are mine. I hope these show up:

iz ready to make cheezeburger.jpg

deh fish was dis big.jpg

control_he needs it2.jpg

Darn. I don’t know how to upload the pics.

Can someone help me?

R

Thanks, Gemma! :)

Rebecca—to put the pics here, you have to first upload them to another server (Photobucket works for sure, I had trouble with a couple others first).  Then you copy the url to the picture, and paste it in here so that it looks something like this:

<img src=“http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk100/yourusername/
yourgallery/yourpicture.jpg”>

Of course your url (the part between the quotes) will be different, but… that’s basically how.

Jennifer Crusie’s “You Eated My Cookie” for the WIN!

I snorted my 7 Up over IM IN UR HOO HA BEIN DED.

A question that comes to my mind [besides the requisite wtf-moment] damn near every time I see a romance cover:

What the hell is it with the woman’s hair?

Gah!  Candidly, those huge,  mushroom clouds of varying hues billowing out of women’s craniums are even more disturbing to me than Men with Mullets.

back84 - no, no, no, way worse than it was back in ‘84.

And a vote for the nose hair mullet :)

Well, that didn’t upload. How about this:

Alas I don’t have Photoshop skillz but allow me to riff off Rebecca J.‘s and Sara R.‘s excellent work: 

Rebecca J’s Giant Brides cover:  “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Bride”

Rebecca J’s purple Nocturne cover:  “Yes, My Balls ARE This Big”

Sara R.s “Sassy” cover:  “The Guys Just Call Me Twink”

i’m LMAO@Cheezburger inferno!

3rd place goes to ” They call him SassY”. Made me laugh out loud.

Thank you Phyllis for doing what I was thinking, only better.

Tinkerbon, you are insanely good.
(growth 15… what’s this trying to tell me?)

Am definitely having too much fun wasting time with this today.

(half the romance novels in the world set in Scotland, and this was the ONLY romance I could find with a sheep in view…)

Oh, these were good.  But freakin’ Longmire RULES.  (I swear, as often as I’ve seen those covers, they still make me laugh-cry.)  The Toy in Daddy’s Pants.  Lord of the Hissy-Fit.  CLASSICS.

Oops, forgot to add I loved Sara R’s They Call Him Sassy.  Perfect in every way!

Thanks for the votes of confidence, guys, and thanks to Candy for uploading my images, since I couldn’t figure it out! ;)

I ought to add my apologies to Lori Foster for snagging her cover for my “Sassy” fella, but I just couldn’t resist. She can wring my neck at the Get-Together in June, heh heh heh

I’m dying over the “Invisible Neck” one. Brilliant. heh heh

I vote for Mr. Phillips Head.

For anyone clueless about WOW, Leeroy Jenkins videos can be seen at http://www.leeroyjenkins.net/ (it helps explain the cover snark)

Can’t stop the signal ...

And totally off topic, but I went on a rampage a few years ago when we were seeing “The Running Couple” on every second romance cover ...

These days I *try* to use my photoshop powers for good, not evil. Heh.

— Bonz

- Or alternatively, for Mr. Phillips Head -
ORANGE U GLAD I HAS A BANANA?ORANGE U GLAD I HAS A BANANA?

Okay, me + uploading pictures usually = suck, but I will try.  Mind you, this isn’t a book cover, but it is romance snark and I loves it.

1. Invisible Neck
2. They Call Him Sassy
3. Serious Cowboy (the idea was PERFECT, though the full title was a bit confusing)

SonomaLass, that was frickin hilarious!!!!  Did you do that one?

1. Savage Crotch by Jadawuf
2. Cultural Sensitivity - Ur doin it wrong by Eva Lynn

OMG, these were hilarious!

I have a sudden need for fringed buckskin…

Where’s your nearest International Male store?

Lorelie,

Thanx!  Yeah, that’s all mine (with some input from my DP).  Glad it made you laugh.

Thanks for uploading my covers, Candy!

Thanks for the instructions, Eva Lynn. :)

Glad the rest of you liked my covers.

I may be too late, but I’m still gonna try it…

Issues!  I srsly haz dem!  Dangit!

I wanted to do the Midnight Fantasies cover, because the heronie on the cover looks like a trannie who’s about to give the her a big suprise.

but I couldn’t get a big enough copy of the pic.

Note to self: Finish thoughts before clicking submit. Drinking is no excuse!