Bitchin' Blog Posts
Links!
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | January 09, 2009 | Friday at 10:37 pm | 26 CommentsOne of these things is not like the others. and that one thing opens beer.
[Thanks to Janice for the link!]
Need a hot spicy fangirl fantasy, heavily influenced by anime tropes? Of course the internet can help! What were you thinking, going to the library for that!
[Thanks to Snameless for the link.]
At the part where oozing liquid was described in this product promotion, I had to go lie down for awhile. Holy crap (NSFW).
[Thanks to Silver James and JenB for the link. (I think. I might not recover from this one.)]
And finally, Christine asks a key question: if Apple rejects books for the iPhone based on content, “how many romance novels will be excluded?” Good question. Bad Apple, no cookie for you.
Filed: General Bitching, The Link-O-Lator
GrowlyCub said on 01.09.09 at 11:32 PM • [link]
Kalen will *really* like the ‘oozing liquid’ one, grin…
I guess they don’t know where they hymen is located either. But I shouldn’t scoff, after all I didn’t know until she brought it up on DA and educated us all.
GrowlyCub said on 01.09.09 at 11:34 PM • [link]
Oh, and while the gents in the first link didn’t do much for me, the following ones…
Stallions
Oh, la la, I might just have to buy myself an early b-day present. :)
Except, the husband might not approve… grin
MoJo said on 01.09.09 at 11:46 PM • [link]
Yup. Me, too.
JenB said on 01.10.09 at 12:14 AM • [link]
But come on…a brand spankin’ new hymen for only $15?? That’s a steal! Now my billionaire tycoon sheikh boss husband will never know that I spent the last eight years as a prostitute. Brilliant, I say. :)
I’m kind of wondering what clean-up would be like after using the fake hymen. I mean…if he pulls out and it’s stuck to the end of his manly love sword, the gig is up!
JaneyD said on 01.10.09 at 12:22 AM • [link]
Share with a friend!
:dies laughing:
JoanneL said on 01.10.09 at 12:25 AM • [link]
Maybe it’s just the Friday afternoon-tired-to-death-blues but everything, absolutely everything about the sale of a new hymen bothers me—- if it’s used for anything other then a joke gift for your newly divorced friend or your traveling grandma.
That it will be used by some woman because it’s the only way to save her own life or her families pride is just C.R.A.Z.Y.
That it comes from China….. I just can’t even go there.
The calendars on the other hand. Yup. Cheered me up.
Victoria Dahl said on 01.10.09 at 12:41 AM • [link]
“This item will be shipped from China.”
Fake human blood to be inserted into the vagina. From CHINA? Oh, god.
theo said on 01.10.09 at 12:53 AM • [link]
That’s just…so wrong!! And…ewww. Although you have women having plastic surgery to replace theirs so they really can feel like it’s the first time again. ugh…makes me cringe.
We must really be getting liberal here in our advertising though. Has anyone else seen this advertised on TV yet?
http://www.trojancondoms.com/Product/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductId=47
Makes me cringe every time I see that commercial too!!
HAH! Spam word: physical69 LOL!!
Keira said on 01.10.09 at 01:16 AM • [link]
Become a Virgin again and again for just $15!
GrowlyCub said on 01.10.09 at 01:37 AM • [link]
Btw, did anybody besides me watch Nightline last night and saw the story about chest hair on men having a renaissance? They even had a surgeon on who does chest hair transplants… the mind boggles.
Call me mean, but if I have to shave all kinds of places, guys have to have naked chests! I hope they were wrong. I don’t want to see all those lovely 6-packs obscured!
ArkansasCyndi said on 01.10.09 at 01:40 AM • [link]
My favorite line for the “buy Artificial Virginity”...
Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use
NO PAIN TO USE??? BRAWAHAHAHAHA
Silver James said on 01.10.09 at 02:28 AM • [link]
JenB, I am soooo glad I wasn’t the only one to tumble across that thing. It took me ten minutes to catch my breath.
And why does my Muse need a date with a lavender-haired half-dragon with slate-colored eyes? I need a date with him!
Jennifer Armintrout said on 01.10.09 at 02:33 AM • [link]
The fake hymen was invented in Japan.
Huh.
That sounds about right.
SonomaLass said on 01.10.09 at 02:58 AM • [link]
I could REALLY have done without the “after” picture of the artificial hymen.
I like the idea that you get a discount if you buy them in bulk. There has to be a romance novel in that idea…
KimberlyD said on 01.10.09 at 03:07 AM • [link]
The punctuation in the hymen ad really, really bothered me. Probably more than it should have.
Alex said on 01.10.09 at 04:06 AM • [link]
I’m rather enjoying the fangirl fantasy generator. Of course, I submitted it, so…
Here’s some of the better ones that have come up in the past five minutes or so…
Lori P. said on 01.10.09 at 04:28 AM • [link]
This was my fantasy fangirl generated fantasy
“This beastman has abandonment issues and needs love. His penetrating eyes are like two pools of water. His wild hair is lemon-yellow. His outfits are exotic, he has a preference for black, and he has a thing for outfits that include an exposed navel.”
ROFL!!!
GrowlyCub said on 01.10.09 at 04:36 AM • [link]
I decided I had to try out the fantasy generator too. ;)
How did they know I breed Maine Coon cats with well-tufted ears and that my favorite color is red? And you’d better not wake any of them up or mayhem ensues… grin
If you want to see the newest litter go to my LJ. Two red-silvers, a brown patched tabby with white and a blue patched tabby. They are a riot! :)
Carmen said on 01.10.09 at 04:42 AM • [link]
The best thing about your new hymen? It comes in discreet packaging so that “your mom will never know.”
Couple15 - oh yeah, someone coupled all right.
Susie said on 01.10.09 at 04:45 AM • [link]
Not even going to mention the hymen thingy.
Now the calendars, I L-O-V-E!!! And I have purchased before. I have had the “Daily Hunk” on my work desk before. But this year I have the “Daily Bitch”. Some great bitchery to read everyday and share with my coworkers!!!
sadieloree said on 01.10.09 at 05:18 AM • [link]
O. Good. Lord. *snort*
And hey, $15 hymens? Must have been created for those with a deflowering fetish… ew.
amy lane said on 01.10.09 at 09:00 AM • [link]
Holy bat, crapman! Finally an answer to “I didn’t know what it was and what it was doing down there!” (coming23—but you really CAN be a virgin after coming 23 times!)
Elizabeth Wadsworth said on 01.10.09 at 07:03 PM • [link]
I’ve read of a number of medieval heroines who faked virginity by breaking a small vial of pig’s blood on the wedding night, which strikes me as altogether simpler (and probably more sanitary) than an artificial hymen. Especially one from China, which has had more than its share of problems lately with quality control. And the weird grammar bothered me, too—it made the whole thing sound more sinister and sleazy, somehow.
Debra said on 01.10.09 at 07:30 PM • [link]
This guy would have me getting out my pepper spray! Yuk!! I think I would probably need those artificial hymens with him.
mirain said on 01.10.09 at 07:40 PM • [link]
Woo-hoo! It isn’t too late for me to snag a good Catholic boy after all.
And since they come in two packs, you can use the first in a “practice run” to make sure you know how to insert it correctly (since we virgins know nothing of insertion).
Cat K. said on 01.11.09 at 01:39 AM • [link]
oh yuck, yucky post-de-virginatated fake hymen (I threw up a whole lot in my mouth). Yuck!!! Then wtf at the top reasons for losing yr virginity “childhood accident (hard object)”. Da fluff?
And “Finally, cleans the vulva after having sexual intercourse.”- ya think? Total weirdness.
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