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Bitchin' Blog Posts

by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | December 10, 2011 | Saturday at 10:55 am | 13 Comments

There's a lot going on here there and everywhere.

The winner of the Bad Sex award has been announced. The winner was David Guterson for "Ed King," a retelling of Oedipus. The winning, ahem, passage:

"In the shower, Ed stood with his hands at the back of his head, like someone just arrested, while she abused him with a bar of soap. After a while he shut his eyes, and Diane, wielding her fingernails now and staring at his face, helped him out with two practiced hands, one squeezing the family jewels, the other vigorous with the soap-and-warm-water treatment. It didn't take long for the beautiful and perfect Ed King to ejaculate for the fifth time in twelve hours, while looking like Roman public-bath statuary. Then they rinsed, dried, dressed, and went to an expensive restaurant for lunch."

Dude. Yawn.

I'm still taking suggestions for our bad sex 2011 award, which will be voted on shortly. Email me if you have a bad sex scene to suggest. Graceful curtsey to Deborah for the link.

The Department of Justice, following the lead of the EU, has started investigating ebook pricing.

COLOR ME SHOCKED. What color is that, anyway? I'm the opposite of that color.

As Jane said in her entry, "Either the publishers are right or they are really, really wrong and it will present an expensive mistake." Ayup.

Graceful curtsey to Lisa for the CR link.

M. sent me the following very thought-provoking link, from the Social Justice League about liking problemating things. She said it reminded her of the "The Grand Sophy" conversation following my negative review.

Liking problematic things doesn’t make you an asshole. In fact, you can like really problematic things and still be not only a good person, but a good social justice activist (TM)! After all, most texts have some problematic elements in them, because they’re produced by humans, who are well-known to be imperfect. But it can be surprisingly difficult to own up to the problematic things in the media you like, particularly when you feel strongly about it, as many fans do. We need to find a way to enjoy the media we like without hurting other people and marginalised groups.

Agreed, there. If someone really likes The Grand Sophy, which I disliked because of a wooden anti-Semitic charicature, I do not automatically think that the person who likes it is themselves anti-Semitic. But I also don't think it's excusable that Heyer included it. Opinions on that one vary. A lot. Heh.

I think this is my favorite part:

In real life, people have to go to the bathroom. In movies and books, they don’t show that very much, because it’s boring and gross. Well, guess what: bigotry is also boring and gross. But everyone is just dying to keep that in the script.

This entry has given me a lot to think about in terms of romance, as well, specifically the problematic things within it, and the ways in which we discuss them. My brain is a big ol' box of "Hrmmmmm" now. Especially because, unless I'm mistaken, I'm seeing a bit more of characters using the chamber pot in historical. I could just be getting lucky with pot references, though.

Filed: General Bitching, The Link-O-Lator

Tagged: sex, romance, publishers, jane, historical

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JB Hunt said on 12.10.11 at 07:13 PM • [link]

“Yawn” is right. This is the same guy who wrote that hot shower sex scene in Snow Falling on Cedars? He’s…slipping.
The Other Susan said on 12.10.11 at 09:53 PM • [link]

I’m stuck on just *how* “she abused him with a bar of soap.” If it’s what I think, probably not a good thing to try at home. Soap doesn’t really belong there.

Probably the author didn’t mean what I think, though.
Riwally said on 12.10.11 at 11:58 PM • [link]

Oh, was that a sex scene? ‘Cuz it sounded like a shower scene with a hand job thrown in. Was this just some extraneous words to fill in space? See me nodding off? That was my head hitting the table which was more exciting than that “scene”.
Carolyn Jewel said on 12.11.11 at 12:30 PM • [link]

Abused with a bar of soap? OMG. SBTB, we need a contest for BEST sex scene.
DreadPirateRachel said on 12.11.11 at 04:21 PM • [link]

It’s never a good thing when you read a sex scene that includes euphemisms which, read literally, could indicate a torture scene. Abuse, indeed! O_o
Barbara W. said on 12.11.11 at 04:44 PM • [link]

If you have a strong stomach, I dare you to read the entry from “Dead Europe.” It’s so revolting, I swear this guy tried to win the bad sex scene award just by being the grossest.

There was a similar act performed in the book “Endless Love” by Scott Spencer and I thought that grossed me out at the time (hey, I read it when the movie came out, what was I, 13?).
Vicki said on 12.11.11 at 08:44 PM • [link]

Wait, that was from a real book? OMG, editor asleep at the switch much?
The Other Susan said on 12.12.11 at 04:36 AM • [link]

On the soap, no doubt (hur hur.)
MichelleLaura said on 12.12.11 at 12:07 PM • [link]

On liking problematic things: why do I love “Gone with the Wind”? I swear, I hear that music and I want to drop everything and watch it. Why? Why? It could be retitled “Terrible People in the Old South”, and yet I love it.
Jenny Lyn said on 12.12.11 at 12:35 PM • [link]

Wow, five times in twelve hours! Not only was Mr. Ed King “beautiful” and “perfect”, he’s also quite, erm, prolific. I’m sure there are many men out there who’d add lucky as well.
Clau said on 12.13.11 at 10:53 AM • [link]

Barbara, like a terrible car accident I couldn’t stop myself when you said “if you have a strong stomach” I must tell you I read 3 or 4 lines and I almost throw up and I do have a strong stomach so so gross. puaj!!!!
HellyBelly said on 12.14.11 at 11:00 AM • [link]

Gaaahhhh, I had to rubberneckclick my way to Dead Europe and it was absolutely gross. Yuck city!
Elemental said on 12.14.11 at 05:25 PM • [link]

From a lot of “bad sex” entries, I get the feeling that the authors want the thrill of writing something dirty, but feel they have to dress it up with weird metaphors and strange language, to guard against the possibility that someone might accuse them of enjoying it—no really, it’s totally vital to the plot. So you end up with a scene that is gratuitous and forced, while not actually being that titillating either.