Bitchin' Blog Posts

Introducing The Smart Bitches Trashy Store

by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | September 10, 2008 | Wednesday at 3:42 am | 28 Comments

imageIntroducing: Smart Bitch Gelaskins for your iPod classic, iPod Touch, iPhone 3G, and your 15” or 13” laptop. Featuring The Ladies and the phrase, “Smart Bitches Read Romance,” they turn your favorite electronic device into a bright red piece of awesome.

Want one? Visit the new Smart Bitches Trashy Store.

Special note: I just finished the store arrangement, and payment is currently accepted via Paypal and Google Checkout. Orders shipped in Jersey are subject to sales tax (hi neighbor!) Please please please let me know via email if you have any problems. It’s me (and Hubby) on the other end fulfilling orders, so it’s not like I’ve farmed this out to a faraway fulfillment center. Any problems, please let me know.

And thanks to Gelaskins for the custom design work.

Filed: General Bitching

Tagged: store, ipod, iphone, gelaskins

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  1. Sarah Frantz said on 09.10.08 at 04:05 AM • [link]

    Dammit, I thought you meant like a CafePress store with cool SB stuff with fabulous quotes I could wear around town and shock the populace!

  2. clostecrafter said on 09.10.08 at 04:05 AM • [link]

    Dude, what is with the tattoo poll?  Hilarious. How small do you think an inker can write “Stay for the Man titty”?

  3. SB Sarah said on 09.10.08 at 04:12 AM • [link]

    Soon come, Sarah, soon come.

  4. Victoria Dahl said on 09.10.08 at 04:24 AM • [link]

    Gelaskins rocks!!! Go Smart Bitches!

  5. Zumie said on 09.10.08 at 04:27 AM • [link]

    Drat! My computer is 11 1/2. >.<

    *laments*

  6. ev said on 09.10.08 at 04:38 AM • [link]

    I have to wait for a bit, but I definately want the itouch one!!!

    I voted yes for the tat- hell, it’s not me getting it!! LOL

    I want a dragon, reading a book, a cocktail in the other hand and a doobie in his mouth. My daughter said I can’t have the doobie, so I guess a bong in his tail and smoke coming out his nostrils??

  7. Jessica said on 09.10.08 at 04:39 AM • [link]

    Oooh, you’re making me wish I had a cell phone, not to mention an iPhone.  It’s too bad I refuse to go down that particular road.  You’re making me rethink my whole life philosophy just to have this . . . .

  8. Darlene Marshall said on 09.10.08 at 04:59 AM • [link]

    What Jessica said.  Now I want the electronic toys so I can get the skins. 

    And my notebook’s the wrong size too, dang it.

  9. Diane Whiteside said on 09.10.08 at 06:37 AM • [link]

    Drat it, I can only put one of these on my corporate cell phone or corporate laptop!

  10. Wirdald said on 09.10.08 at 06:46 AM • [link]

    I third Jessica and Darlene. I have nothing that could show off a cool skin. I was all excited, thinking I could get a SBTB shirt with maybe the Top 10 Ways to Recognize a Romance Hero. (Mullet. Tucked-in shirt. That is also unbuttoned. Etc.)

    Ooh, wait! I’m typing on a laptop as we speak (er, converse via the Internetz ... if this can be considered conversing. Anywho…)! But how big is it? I need a ruler.

  11. Midknyt said on 09.10.08 at 08:26 AM • [link]

    I was hoping you guys had done it through skinit or tego so I could get one for my Sony Reader.  How appropriate would that be?  :)  They might even have them for you drinkers of the Kindle-aide.  (I know enough people requested the Sony on skinit that they added it as a skin). 

    Spamword: involved78…Sounds painful.

  12. karibelle said on 09.10.08 at 08:33 AM • [link]

    I am with the other technology deprived bitches.  The skins are great but I am anxiously awaiting the t-shirts, coffee mugs, and mouse pads!

  13. eaeaea said on 09.10.08 at 01:33 PM • [link]

    I am with the other technology deprived bitches.  The skins are great but I am anxiously awaiting the t-shirts, coffee mugs, and mouse pads!

    Me, too!
    I would also buy bookmarks and those cute bookcovers that sit over a boring cover done SBTB-style, in a nanosecond.

  14. karmelrio said on 09.10.08 at 03:05 PM • [link]

    I can haz t-shirt?  Pls?

  15. SB Sarah said on 09.10.08 at 03:10 PM • [link]

    Don’t worry - no one wants tshirts more than me! I wear nothing but with Sir Baba of Reflux in the house!

    The problem is that I am not always impressed with Cafe Press’ quality as some of the shirts I’ve ordered from them have had the screen printing wash off after 4 or 5 washings. See above re: Reflux. Lots o’ laundry in my house.

    I’m hoping to do spiffy shirts that are soft and awesome but also not hideously expensive. Anyone have design ideas or suggestions, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

  16. Sonja said on 09.10.08 at 03:50 PM • [link]

    GAH! I neeeeed one of these. I might even have to buy a 3G phone just so I can have one… You wouldn’t possibly be able to make them for the “classic” iPhone, for those of us who aren’t quite cool enough for the 3G?

  17. Leslie Dicken said on 09.10.08 at 04:15 PM • [link]

    COOL BEANS!  Too bad I ain’t got an iPod (shhh, don’t tell anyone) or an iPhone.  My only laptop is for work (think they’ll care?).

    But, Sarah, I must question you about your poll—a tattoo?  Not that it wouldn’t look smashing…but isn’t there that whole Jewish thou-shall-not-mark-thy-body thang?  Of course, my favorite foods are shrimp, crabs, and pork chops, so I’m not one to talk about Jewish tradition! LOL!

  18. Marsha said on 09.10.08 at 04:15 PM • [link]

    I share my home laptop with my husband and I am almost 2000% sure he will not allow these kind of shenanigans.  My work laptop technically belongs to my employer and…ditto.  My cell phone is a singularly unsexy model by Motorola.

    Hm.  What do to, what to do?  I know!  New husband, new job and new phone.  No prob.

    **called13 - snort!  maybe I need the new phone first?

  19. SB Sarah said on 09.10.08 at 04:28 PM • [link]

    But, Sarah, I must question you about your poll—a tattoo?  Not that it wouldn’t look smashing…but isn’t there that whole Jewish thou-shall-not-mark-thy-body thang?

    Funny you should ask! According to the NY Times, it’s a Jewish urban legend, dating back to the forced tattooing of the Holocaust victims, but like anything, well, Jewish, there’s about 46 opinions for every 4 people. Many Jewish women have their ears pierced, while others argue that doing so violates the same law referred to by tattooing:

    Jewish law on tattooing is slippery. Leviticus 19:28 states, “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead nor incise any marks on yourself: I am the Lord.” For Rabbi Washofsky, it’s unclear whether the passage strictly outlaws tattoos that refer to a god, or whether it generally condemns any personal adornment. Ear piercing, he added, is not controversial.

    For Mr. Klaven, historical context is key. When Leviticus was written, tattooing was largely a pagan practice, done to mark slaves or to show devotion to a pharaoh, Mr. Klaven said. Since tattooing has evolved, he thinks the rule may be outdated.

    Not all scholars agree. Rabbi Alan Bright, a spokesman for the Jewish Funeral Directors of America, dismissed the cemetery adage as “a load of rubbish,” but he said that tattooing was a no-no. He quotes Deuteronomy 4:15, which commands Jews to take care of their bodies, as evidence.

    But he noted that Jewish law prohibits many things that secular Jews do without a second thought. “The Torah prohibits anything negative that affects the body,” he said. “Smoking is more of a violation of Jewish law.” As are drinking alcohol in excess and overeating.

    That said, I have a tattoo, and though I converted to Judaism 9 years ago, my mother in law is still a bit flipped out by it, I think. My sister in law told me under her breath that she heard I could still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.

    But there are many, many young Jewish folks I know who are very devout who have tattoos - some in Hebrew, some in English. One guy I know has the “OU” kosher symbol on his right butt cheek, which totally cracks me up. He’s kosher!

    So the long answer is: I personally don’t find decorating my body the same as marking it, and I had enough problems finding a mohel for my sons who would consider my Reform conversion suitable in terms of thus considering my newborn boys sufficiently Jewish for them to perform the brit milah. Don’t get me started on that one - why tell the hormonal post-partum woman that she’s not really Jewish?! This was exceptionally tricky with Baba, whose bris was on Yom Kippur.

    But plenty of people disagree with me on that one. What else is new?

  20. JennK said on 09.10.08 at 04:54 PM • [link]

    I’ve got Gelaskins on my Macbook and iPod Touch, and I heart them so much. I’d love to get the Smart Bitches skin for my laptop, but I have a feeling some of the homeschool moms I see on a regular basis would get skeeved about their precious little ones being exposed to the word bitch. Maybe for my Touch, though…

    Re: the tattoo/Judaism question, in my family it’s more a matter of Jews being tattooed during the Holocaust, so to mark ourselves in that way would be to negate the suffering of members of our family. I’d love to get a small tattoo on my ankle, but that shattering of glass in your homes would be from my mother’s screams. Never mind that I’m 42 and live 2600 miles away from her, some things she just wouldn’t get over.

  21. mirain said on 09.10.08 at 05:59 PM • [link]

    My grandmother grew up well before the Holocaust (and in the Bronx) and tattoos and ear-piercing were both absolutely forbidden in her family. She was very upset when my parents let my sister piece her ears. I have a feeling the word “bitch” wouldn’t go over well, either ;-)

  22. darlynne said on 09.10.08 at 06:14 PM • [link]

    Re: the tattoo discussion

    My niece married a young man from Israel in 2001. He has numerous tattoos and all of his friends upon leaving the army immediately had extensive and quite obvious tattooing done. It seemed almost like a right of passage for them and I had no idea about the strictures against it. Maybe their generation, their kibbutz ... ? I learn so much here at SB Central.

  23. Leslie Dicken said on 09.10.08 at 06:56 PM • [link]

    According to the NY Times, it’s a Jewish urban legend, dating back to the forced tattooing of the Holocaust victims, but like anything, well, Jewish, there’s about 46 opinions for every 4 people. Many Jewish women have their ears pierced, while others argue that doing so violates the same law referred to by tattooing:

    WOW!  Well, how about that?!  And here I thought I’d not be allowed to be buried in a Jewish cemetary! OY!

    In that case—girl, hell yeah you should get a tat of the SBTB gals!  Just make sure it’s in a place I can see it when/if we meet again!

  24. jessica said on 09.10.08 at 08:25 PM • [link]

    Yay, I can have the gelskin for my ipod!! So excited!!
    Re: The tattoo discussion
    I think it’s both from the Bible and became custom, especially after the Holocaust. That being said, if I ever got a tattoo I think I’d be killed by my family (bu I can be buried in the jewish cemetary so yay me) so I won’t get one. But this orthodox jew wishes like no one’s business to get one. And I do know Orthodox people who have tats.

  25. Tae said on 09.11.08 at 02:25 AM • [link]

    damn my laptop is to small, but I plan on getting a new one in the next year or so, so I will patiently wait

  26. Cheyenne McCray said on 09.11.08 at 02:49 AM • [link]

    Way cool! Wait ‘til I go write in Starbucks or the Borders cafe with this gel skin on. I currently have pretty flowers. Pitch the flowers and come on SB. Thanks for having PayPal as a payment choice. I SO hate digging out my wallet and entering my CC information.

    Awww, my word is friends28. I guess that means I have more close friends than I thought I did.

  27. sistergolden said on 09.11.08 at 04:02 AM • [link]

    Sweet!

    I so have one of these on order for my iPhone. I work in the construction industry, so it’ll be extry fun.  :D

    BTW, I’ve had nothing but great results with http://www.zazzle.com order,ing short runs for work (even ordered some prints on black t’s and after 2 years of washing the screenprinting is still in good shape). I think they recently set up a cafepress-like shop.

  28. TxVoodoo said on 09.17.08 at 10:40 AM • [link]

    What I want to know is why is there no KINDLE cover! Wouldn’t that be true synergy?

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