Bitchin' Blog Posts
I notice that when I read romances, I really enjoy scenes from the hero's point of view. I love the change in perspective, but more importantly, I love scenes where, because I know the character from the prose, I almost know already what he's thinking.
But then, I realized, we've known for a long time what men are thinking in romanceland. Take, for example, these marvelous examples of portraiture which are all courtesy of the amazing old skool collection of JamiSings, who scanned and sent all these images to me.
I think we've been subtly taught by these cover images what the romance hero is thinking, particularly about fashion. These heroes are here to guide us through important heroic wardrobe decisions.
Wardrobe is very important. Whether you're in the dazzling Tudor court or the sparkling Regency or the semi-carbonated Jacobean era, what you wear is crucial. See? This poor man looks miserable.
"It's cold and windy. I'm in the Highlands. The weather forecast is ALWAYS 'chance of cold and windy.' So why in the name of bridle fringe didn't I wear a shirt today? Flat Male Nipples do not keep a man warm."
When it comes to fashion, a hero worth the designation has his limits as to what kind of suggestions he will allow from the heroine.
"Look, this is my LUCKY SPARKLE VEST. You may not wear it. You haven't even pulled your Spanx all the way up and you're wearing TWO SCARVES. Fix that before you even speak of my Lucky Sparkle Vest."
And some heroes are easily distracted by other people's wardrobe decisions:
"I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was transfixed by, um, the, uh, puckered rosebuds. Yeah."
And yet some heroes remain a mystery to me, to you, possibly to everyone.
Horse: "Look. He's the Prince of Mom Jeans and Duke of Combover, not Viscount Google Maps. Do you really want to ask him for directions? I didn't think so. Move along, nothing to see here."
Seriously, I'm not sure about that last guy. I'm not sure what he's thinking. What do you think?