Bitchin' Blog Posts
Her what now?
by SB Sarah | December 10, 2005 | Saturday at 5:34 am | 21 CommentsCan I just say, that since the gossip news broke that Brad Pitt adopted Angelina Jolie’s kids, all I can think of is Smart Bitches.
Why?
The kids’ last names are now “Jolie-Pitt.”
JOLIE-PITT? Tell me that’s not the BEST euphamism for vagina EVER?
Someone in the future is going to have their hero thrusting into someone’s jolie pitt real soon, I tell you.
Filed: Random Musings, The Link-O-Lator
Leona Hall said on 12.10.05 at 05:50 AM • [comment link]
Good one, Sarah. Yes, the Womb-Raider’s kids now have very vaginal names.
SB Sarah said on 12.10.05 at 05:59 AM • [comment link]
The Womb-Raider! HAHAHAHA. Ok now I’m totally amused.
Robyn said on 12.10.05 at 06:22 AM • [comment link]
Jolie Pitt it has been named, and Jolie Pitt it shall be.
Meghan said on 12.10.05 at 06:55 AM • [comment link]
Ha! On all counts.
Amanda said on 12.10.05 at 08:18 AM • [comment link]
O.M.G. I can’t breathe. Too too apropos on the entire situation. Womb Raider indeed.
Doug Hoffman said on 12.10.05 at 09:36 AM • [comment link]
I’m traumatized by future shock. Whatever happened to good old rubyfruit jungle?
Vera Nazarian said on 12.10.05 at 09:38 AM • [comment link]
Ok, now the task and the quest ahead of all us writers here is to use the spanking new euphemism in our future works! :-)
sarasco said on 12.10.05 at 10:22 AM • [comment link]
Hahahaha womb raider. That’s too funny.
I think that if anyone’s jolie pitt is to be plundered, it’s going to have to be some uppity French woman in an 18th c. historical. Maybe the prim, yet firey, daughter who is going to be debauched by some French nobleman? Oui, mon cheri.
Leona Hall said on 12.10.05 at 11:51 PM • [comment link]
Yes, I agree. The jolie-pitt needs to belong to a tarty little French girl. But the Anglicized version of the phrase would just be “comely-hole,” which sounds incredibly vulgar.
Darlene Marshall said on 12.11.05 at 07:25 AM • [comment link]
I think it’s a great heroine’s name: Lady Jolie Pitt, the virginal yet hot little minx whose feisty ways stole the heart of the saturnine and jaded Lord Anylplugh while they were attending a houseparty in the wilds of Kent.
Kate R said on 12.12.05 at 06:32 AM • [comment link]
You’re right. That is the perfect name. Nothing weirdly animal (pussy) or insulting (cunt) about it. Just descriptive and coy enough to be PERFECT.
Lilith Saintcrow said on 12.12.05 at 09:08 PM • [comment link]
I vote for the jolie pitt belonging to an Olde Englishe lasse. Perhaps an “actresse” with yon hearte of golde who is swepte away by a pirate who is really a Fabulouslye Weathye Lorde in disguise?
(agh, too many E’s. Shoot me now.)
Darlene Marshall said on 12.12.05 at 09:44 PM • [comment link]
That’s “pyrate”, Lilith. Aaarr!
Darlene Marshall said on 12.12.05 at 09:45 PM • [comment link]
Wait! I just had another brain spasm! Yon pyrate could be flying the (wait for it…) Jolie Pitt!
Imagine the graphics on that flag!
EvilAuntiePeril said on 12.12.05 at 09:51 PM • [comment link]
When about to attack and board a ship, do they hoist the Jolly Pitt (a grinning “Pitt” and uncrossed legs) to strike fear in the hearts of her pasty-faced, warty-nosed British naval admiral fiance and scurvy thief of ye pyrate lord’s identity and inheritance?
Lilith Saintcrow said on 12.12.05 at 09:55 PM • [comment link]
*dying of laughter* The pyrate could be “The Scurvy Pitte, Scourge of the Hairy Seas…”
Darlene Marshall said on 12.12.05 at 10:04 PM • [comment link]
Or it’s one of those “woman pyrate captain” romances (who would ever use such an implausible plot device?) and she’s known as “The Scurvy Pitt” for reasons we don’t want to go into here. Not so soon after viewing Tub Girl.
Kate R said on 12.12.05 at 10:56 PM • [comment link]
arrr, but I be thinkin’ eel girl would be more appropriate for a woman aboard a sea-farin’ vessel.
blech. (Curse you both into another thread, Soni and whoever mentioned eel girl!)
SB Sarah said on 12.13.05 at 12:07 AM • [comment link]
The pyrate could be “The Scurvy Pitte, Scourge of the Hairy Seas…â€
Great.Now I’m going to be contacted by Angelina Jolie’s lawyers about how I am inciting people to craft Jolly Rogers and Jolly Reginas with depiction of her “Hairy C.”
Lilith Saintcrow said on 12.13.05 at 12:17 AM • [comment link]
I wonder how they could tell it’s hers? Would there have to be an identification in court? Is it a special form of plagiarism?
can’t stop laughing…sorry, Sarah.
Alyssa said on 12.17.05 at 10:01 PM • [comment link]
Geez, what are they thinking? Surely they know how ridiculous it sounds?
And that’s ignoring how short-lived Hollywood unions are. If Angelina and Brad break up, then what?
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