Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

I haven’t received hate mail yet.  But I do volunteer with military spouses, which, at times, can be akin to herding cats (so here comes the hate mail).  The nails come out, the fur is flying, and spouses are marking their territory ... in the charity thrift shop that raises money for family member scholarships.  So I just retreat to my romance books and let them fight it out! 

At least you are honest in your contact page ... and the title of your website!

Wow…they wanted to vent all that rage in an attempt to make a “decent” hate letter and they can’t even spell check?

I don’t rate hate mail—entirely too insignificant—but thank you for sharing. And an early thank you to all those that choose to share your haters.

Pointing and laughing is often an appropriate response to rampant ass-hat-ery.

I hate hate mail that refuses to at least dignify itself with correct grammar and spelling and blah and blah and blaaaargh.

Is there a club for this, or something? Because I got this wunnerful comment:

This is exactly why I’m growing to dislike your blog!!! You keep pushing ideas to people and telling us what to like and what not to. I’ve looked at your posts and you ramble and you like the sound of your own voice. You’re reviews are super long, who reads that?! I mean it’s also obvious you’re sucking up to the authors who give you free books. Have some INTEGRITY ok?!!!

So we don’t like short stories SO WHAT. (You call it short fiction, how PRETENTIOUS is that?) If I can speak in behalf of christa, she just said she doesn’t like short stories and you chew her out for it and patronize her? And you backtracked by thanking her for your feedback? PATRONIZING. I do not understand why you are read. For politeness’s sake I guess!!! You are all about name-dropping. Your blog reeks of arrogance and self-involvement. Your last sunday salon post attacked this girl Camilla. How do you think she feels about that? You apologize but this is all just passive-aggressive shit.

Have you ever thought that we don’t like “short fiction” because of people like you who are so elitist about it?!

Stop tryin to sound smart with all your rambling posts and name-dropping.Get off your high horse. You read disguised PORN for god sake.

Tada. The “disguised PORN” dig was about the post the week before this comment appeared, wherein I had a very civil discussion with a reader about her disapproval of my romance/erotica reading. Augh.

I don’t have anything to share—I just want to follow the comment thread.  I would comment on the above hate-email, but it’s hard to find anything to say about it that it doesn’t say about its incoherent self.

Dag, they even got the “STFU” in there, letter for letter as in your disclaimer…only not the context you’d intended. Spooky and stfu.

Oh and @Sasha, if that’s a reader who follows your blog and hates it, imagine what the folks who aren’t reading it must think! For shame.

Never gotten hate mail. Got some really creepy mail over the years, but no haterz. Do I be happy about that or feel left out?

It never ceases to amaze me the things people will do for attention. I mean, really, what purpose did those emails (the one in the post and the ones others are discussing) serve besides to make the sender look like a stark raving lunatic?

Then again, maybe I’m glad not to be a member of the haterz club. My emails go along the lines of offers to help research vampire sex (I kid you not) or how to become an erotic model along with eye gouging pics *shudder* or how well equipped my husband is (the sender thought not enough) because they wanted me to “join” them in their play. It’s like they see erotic romance and think it’s free reign on being complete nitwit pervs. Wanna trade?

Oh and @Sasha, if that’s a reader who follows your blog and hates it, imagine what the folks who aren’t reading it must think!

LOL!  This is what I find so puzzling.  Why are these people READING the blog if they hate it so much? They are wasting time, deliberately doing something they don’t enjoy.  Like over-indulging in fattening, unhealthy food that one finds nauseating rather than delicious.  Weird.  I can well understand why someone who is watching her diet might fall from grace all too often with some heavenly dark chocolate, but if they did so with a bowl of lard, I would wonder whether they are right in the head.

Many of us, I suspect, fret a bit about the amount of time we spend reading fiction or internet sites that we like, or watching enjoyable but unnecessary programmes on TV, because we have a lot of other essential stuff to do, and our spare time is limited.  Pleasure and enjoyment is a valid excuse for a time-wasting activity, but time-wasting in misery and loathing seems to suggest that the time-waster is barmy as well as rude and semi-literate.

I don’t have a public presence that would lead to hate mail, but I did once get “fuck you, you fucker” as a response on a bulletin board discussion, LOL.  But she was batshit crazy, so it’s all of a piece. 

AgTigress, I’ve pondered that myself when on bulletin boards, at the people who go out of there way to participate on boards where they are universally mocked and disliked.  But it must fill some psychological need - I’m guessing a stress release since they get to be as nasty as they want to be in the anonymous world versus in real life wanting/needing to project a sweet image.

I’ve gotten a few over the years from people who have mistaken my books for Nice Christian Fiction and are Very Disappointed with me for dropping the F-bomb and using the Lord’s name in vain. I always want to say, “Lady, I don’t talk that way. But the 50 year old cop you’re quoting does.”

Instead, I usually answer back, “I know. My mother doesn’t approve of that, either.” Which is true.

I once got a real, snail-mail letter from a reader who wanted me to know I was going to hell for writing pornography about a priest. It was forwarded to me by my publisher. It originally came from Canada—complete with extra international postage. WTF?? I picture some little old lady having a wicked lot of fun mailing out author hate mail on her way to return the book to the library.

I read the first two books of this series and was not impressed.  I have spoken to other women who have read many more titles from this series and they all stopped because they were too formulaic.

One thing from the first book has always bothered me.  If he can’t feel emotions how can he be so distraught that he wants to kill himself?  Distress is an emotion.  His desire to kill himself came from an emotional place. 

The “can feel no emotions” thing is a stupid ploy anyway.  This is a romance novel.  The hero is going to have to feel to make it work.  Readers are going to want to know that he feels something for the woman he is boning.

I’m usually a lurker here, but I do so love hate mail.

I write an NBA blog, and one time someone left a comment calling the best player on the team I follow a “dusche bagel” and telling me I suck. I loved it so much I now occasionally give a “Dusche Bagel of the Week” award.

Same thing. If you aren’t going to even TRY to spell or type coherently, you should realize what you write just mocks itself.

“Males lose their ability to see color at about age 21” uh sorry but your
off, WAAAAY off. They lose teh ability to see in color AND FEEL EMOTION at
about age 200!!!

One year off eh? Wow, that’s pretty major. Wow.

My favourite hate mail (well, hate comment) came after I disagreed with someone about coding a blog layout. Three months after the exchange, his wife comes back and leaves me a somewhat incoherent comment about what a mean person I am and how her comment has just meant that she and her husband have now “won” the exchange.

I mean, this fairly minor disagreement prayed on his mind so much that he was ranting to his SO three months later and getting her to bitch at J. Random on the internet so he’d feel better. What?

All I can say is that most famous of quotes…“With friends like these, who needs enemies?”

Oh, dear, speaking of friends, I am a tad worried this hater may be a close friend of mine. She has been trying to get me to read Christine Feehan books for awhile now, and that series is her favorite. She was just telling me all about the series the other day…and I was telling her about your website…hopefully it’s just a freaky coincidence. She does have a slight crazy streak in her…

I moderate a web discussion forum, and we get all kinds of hate mail. People just really don’t like to have their precious, precious words removed from teh intarwebs.

There’s a running joke amongst my team about the fact that we frequently get called Stalinest Nazis and other variations that make us both fascist and communist at the same time.

My favorite hater, though, is the one who ranged around the internet writing anybody else who blog-posted about issues with our site. He’d provide them with a series of apparently embarrassing details about me—like the fact that I’m fat—which was apparently meant to call into question my abilities to manage a website. Because fat people who live in basements—they know nothing of the internet.

Danielle, Sarah’s review said age 21 and the haterator said age 200…

I agree with Tina C. You can’t even insult that hater mail-it insults itself waaaaaaay more. I’m never going to pretend I have perfect grammar or spelling but if I really want someone to take my comment/complaint seriously, I am damn well going to run spell check and at least somewhat pay attention to grammar.

And I’ve never understood the point of reading or following a blog I don’t like. I don’t even think its worth posting a comment if I only read one entry and dislike it.

I’m looking forward to reading more funny and ridiculous hatemail!

I’ve never rated hate mail either. But what I love is the…ehem…passion in this particular piece of hate mail.

It’s almost like you should be prepared to head out by the dumpster during seventh period so that y’all can duke it out, Sarah.

Someone really loves Christine Feehan’s Dark series, seriously. I’m thinking maybe this as sent by a teenage fan?

I had to comment because I really like Feehan’s Dark series.  When I first found this website I looked up your Feehan review.  I LOVE that review.  I still like the books, but I can still appreciate a spot on review.  Actually, I think it was after reading that review that I bookmarked the site to check daily.

I don’t save my hate mail. Usually try not to even read it because it’s always the same. “UR SO FAT AND UGLY! Y DON’T U DIE?” I get things like that on MySpace along with how I’ll never be an “American idol” because I’m a “fat, ugly beast.” I finally had to shut down comments entirely on one blog I have because they were even posting insulting remarks to my blog post about the one year anniversary of my sweet dog, Audrey, having to be put to sleep.

I also recently watched a 70s porno, Alice In Wonderland, and went looking it up on IMDB, there was this big discussion about how “hairy” women were back then and how “disgusting” it is. I was on the side of the people who said that removing all that hair made a woman look like a prepubescent girl and gave a creepy, pedophilic vibe. (I also pointed out only one wasn’t “groomed down there” in the movie all the others were.) I got an e-mail through IMDB titled, “SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SHAVE, WOMAN!” I didn’t read it.

*adjusts reading glasses* Ah yes, it does say 200. Sorry, haterator! My bad entirely.

(In my defence, I was distracted by the exclamation marks.)

P.S. Also, my capcha is twenty65. I feel like the capcha is subtly rebuking me and my dubious grasp of numbers…

I love hate mail so much I wish someone would start a blog of just that.

The funniest thing is the books that get people all lathered up. I liked Twilight. Bunches. But come on. It was not life changing, not an epiphany of any sort, and even if Edward did walk off the pages into my bedroom to watch me drool and fart in my sleep I would hold no appeal for him since he’s, you know, all about Bella.

How come no one sends text speech hate mail about, I don’t know, Isabel Allende? It speaks to my theory about the quality of literature being inversely proportional to the level of vitriol inspired in the fan base.

Luckily, I don’t have any reason for people to send me hate mail. Although I do hang out with a group that have been referred to loudly and publicly as the “bad apples” of a certain actor’s fandom.

@Sarah, I want to know: is a Dusche Bagel better or worse than a douche bag, I wonder? What kind of toppings does it have?

Wow, unintentional humor much?  Please people, if you are doing to write hate mail, run the spell check.  Make it believable.  Well-constructed sentences can only help your cause. Otherwise, you invite what you are criticizing and deserve everythng you get back.

Wow, that is quite the Hate letter, I think a congratulations is in order!  I can’t say I’ve ever received any (don’t know what I’d do with one anyway).  Maybe you should establish some sort of award for bloggers hate mail or sumtin’

My problem with Feehan’s Dark series are the heroines in her books.  That’s why I consider the books “hit or miss”.  I don’t mind the “formula” aspect of the series.  Some of the books I’ve absolutely loved i.e. “Dark Guardian” which is, to date, my absolute favorite or “Dark Possession”, others, however, I even use as examples for a good wall-banger i.e. “Dark Fire” which is also one of the most, if not the most, popular book in that series among the fans.

I’m glad she didn’t run spellcheck. That letter wouldn’t have been nearly as entertaining with proper spelling and grammar. I’m enjoying the shared hate mail, too. Things like that always make me wonder what is going on in their lives that striking that particular nerve triggers such a volitile reaction. There have certainly been times where I have had hate mail-like thoughts, but I’ve never had the urge to actually pass my crazy on to someone else.

About the 21 vs 200 thing, if you think of how Carpathians age, it’s still pretty accurate. It’s like reverse dog years or something: for every ten years that a human ages, it’s like one year for a Carpathian. So Sarah wasn’t all that mistaken when she wrote 21.

I’d never read that review of the Carpathians and I’m glad this post led me to it—I totally agree. I read the first 8/9 of them (all the books up to Dark Celebration) and that’s when I got tired of the formula. It didn’t make them less entertaining (well, before I got my fill of “ug, me Carpathian, you lifemate”), but it does make them pretty mockable. But as my mother always says, Christine Feehan is being mocked all the way to the bank. And she’s a total sweetheart to boot. :)

I got one of those comments once—I mean, I have a piddly little infrequently-updated review site, so once is enough.

Anyway, the gist was, “OMG you gave this book 4/5 stars?! I would give it 10/5 if I could! You really should reread it, because clearly you didn’t understand that the book is SO AMAZING.”

... yeah, I got dissed for giving a B review, basically.

I love it when people call my reading comprehension into question. Because, you know, it’s not even remotely possible that I read the book, understood it, and decided it wasn’t worth a full 5/5 stars, right?

This is what I find so puzzling.  Why are these people READING the blog if they hate it so much? They are wasting time, deliberately doing something they don’t enjoy.  Like over-indulging in fattening, unhealthy food that one finds nauseating rather than delicious.

In the case of the email sent to Sarah I suspect the hater is either a reader who liked the blog fine until she read the archives and saw what she felt was a dis of book to which she is apparently a bit overly attached. Either that or she’s one of those people who trolls the internet looking for reviews of her favorite books and complains whenever & wherever she finds one that she doesn’t like.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with Sasha’s hater, but I’ve found that when people make crazy accusations they’re usually accusing others of what they themselves are doing. So my guess is that Sasha’s hater is arrogant and self-involved and reading reviews she thinks are bad give her a way to feel smug & superior.

My word is five84: As in some people will always be emotionally 5, even if they live to be chronologically 84.

What a coincidence! I got my first hate comment today and I feel ridiciously proud of myself. In my review I mentioned that the novel in question was written in present tense and called it a risky choice that didn’t work for me.
The response:

U R TEH POOPY HEAD. I NO CARE ABOUT TENSE

Arrgh! It’s “ridiculously”.

My file of hate emails is being held hostage by an unresponsive server.

The most recent hate mail was received about a month ago.  I was berated because Google had directed the reader to my site and my site didn’t have the information they wanted. 

I wonder if Google received a similar email?

I love misspelling, deranged haters. Can’t wait to read more!

Wow, that’s some rant. You can actually feel the rage and see the smoke coming out of her keyboard.
I love the Dark series, I also thought the review was pretty accurate in that the books did get formulaic, but I LIKE that formula. And the review was written in 2005, a few Dark books ago. Forgetting for a moment this haterator’s lack of spell-check, they seem to be more upset about inaccuracies and I recall when reading the review that she has a point, some of it was wrong, but it’s a blog, not holy writ. And from reading the whole review you can tell that Sarah just didn’t like the world or the tropes therein. My requirements for reading this blog do not include Sarah and Candy liking the same books that I like. The series is my guilty pleasure and escape and I wish they would publish more than one a year, but I am not foaming at the mouth that Sarah doesn’t like them.  My hate mail would be to the publisher, if I were so inclined, about the one-a-year and only in hardback policy. It would go something like this: “Why in the name of all that is doggy-style, would you do this to us, the loyal Dark readers?”  ...then spell check….(doggie? or doggy?)

Hilarious and bravo! I wrote and youtubed the “Boobquake Song” last week and got a pile of the “UR UGLY WHY DONT YOU JUST DIE” comments, some of which I confess I deleted. But someone went to the trouble of copying my video, and reposting it with the title

“This Lady is not Muslim, but she is the cause of all Earthquakes Volcano Tornado in USA Says Ahmadinejad”

I haven’t bothered to read the comments there. What’s the point?

I got scolded on eBay once for selling part of a Barbie giftset, to the tune of: How dare you break up this beautiful set when others can’t even afford to buy it?  I didn’t reply because I…had nothing.  Some folks just aren’t happy unless they’re complaining.  Btw, the set later dropped in price from $150 to $50-ish, so I hope this person got it and found something else to complain about…Oh, who am I kidding?  I know she found SOMETHING…;)

letters99: not sure if I’ve written that many, does email count?

Oh and deranged haters often go the the ER too.  Here are their (mis)adventures:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

LOL!

Oh that is too funny!

:)

MsM

I won’t be forwarding on the e-mails from a fellow “professional” that ranged from barely coherent ramblings to outright hate mail, because at least *I* can be professional. Plus, this person has always struck me as vindictive and I’d rather not have to deal with any “defamation” lawsuits. However, the knowledge that I, well more my office, has been on the receiving end of some doozies is enough to sustain me. Even better, a number of these went out to our statewide listserve!

(Captcha: fall46 - oh, how this person has fallen!)

Ummmm I know this thread is gonna be wild so I’m subscribing here.  BTW, I agree with SBSara about that series.  I wanted to like it soooooo much but I just couldn’t keep going with it. 

:0)  Let the flames begin!!!  Bwah ha ha ha h!!!

Spam catcher word:  forward86.  I’m sure the system will now forward at LEAST the next 86 comments made in this thread to my in box.  Bring it on!!

Ah, hate mail, my scourge. I used to get it daily, but it has lessened to once a week. In some ways, this is obviously a good thing.

But I do recall it was a really excellent way of waking myself up every morning: the rage injection of reading emails in bed. Every hateful cloud has a wakeful silver lining?

Most of the hatemail goes ‘You are a great writer. I will never read your books, which are obviously terrible!’ These strange emails, much better than a few really creepy ones about my undergarments, physical appearance, and so forth… which reduce me to a gibbering Victorian mess. ‘Madam we have not even been properly introduced, how dare you comment on things of a highly personal nature! *swoons*’

Wow, that is some serious Stan action going on there for Feehan.

The worst hate mail I’ve received was from a woman who let me know, after reading my third Blood Ties book, that I was nowhere near as good as this long list of other paranormal authors, but that she was going to suffer through the final book in the series.  She just wanted to let me know I was no good.
So, I wrote her back and said something to the effect of, “Look, I know my writing isn’t for everyone.  Instead of reading the last book, why not spend that time reading one of the other authors you listed?”  She responded again to tell me how rude I was and that she couldn’t believe I had the nerve to tell her what to read.  It was a really weird experience.

I was involved in a little hate mail flame war in which my supporters were routinely referred to as “Snidely’s whores”, after a while some of them embraced the name signing their posts “another whore for Snidely”. Later just AWFS, when I started my blog I wanted to thank them but calling it “Another Whore for Snidely” or “Dedicated to Snidely’s Whores” would attact a readership base other than the one I was trying to reach. One of my critics with more verve and humor than the average flamer, referred to my friends as ” a bunch of ditzy wallflowers mooning over…”  Hence the name.

Holy parenthetical overload, Smart Bitch!

I mentioned this on Twitter, but this is my favourite ever: Dramatic Hate Mail Reading by Edward Champion. My friend Russ submitted a piece of hate mail to him and he read it in the style of Peter Lorre/Andy Serkis.

I once reviewed a documentary DVD that resulted in not one, not two, but three different hate mails, purportedly from the producer of the show, challenging me for giving it a “C” grade. Threatened to call the star’s agent on me (oooh, scary!)

I was also at a convention recently, talking about Maggie Stiefvater’s “Shiver” on a panel about vampires and werewolves, and how she had created an interesting new paradigm about werewolves and temperature. I was approached afterward by two well-meaning young girls in Cullens-themed tshirts and makeup, telling me that I was very wrong, that werewolves turn because of the full moon, because “that’s what happens in Twilight.” Yes, Stiefvater is wrong because Stephanie Meyer said so. :)

I’ve never had to deal with hate mail myself (hope springs eternal if I someday get published), but the OP reminds me of a teenage girl who wrote an outraged letter to Universal Studios a month or so ago, lambasting them for ripping off Twilight with their recent Wolfman remake.  It was linked on another site and I doubt I could find it now, but it was replete with grammatical errors and misspellings, and so hilarious I had a hard time believing it wasn’t intended as a deliberate parody.

I’m a public librarian—hi there, Mousy!—who works in a busy downtown branch, so I get a lot of confused/confusing, rude, or just WTF? comments every day. (Lots of very nice people too, just to be fair.)

My absolute favourite, though, has always been the woman who told me I was “degrading” her. Why? I wouldn’t log in to a dodgy-looking site to enter a contest for her on my computer, & offered to show her how to do it on the public-access terminals instead.

I didn’t *get* the email, but it was sent by a hater and about me, does that count? 

Too bad, I’m telling the story anyway.

Once upon a time, I lived overseas while my husband was deployed. I had two friends over to watch movies, a guy and a girl, and we got bored. My kids were already asleep and my babysitter unavailable, but we really wanted to get out of the house. So I went next door to the neighbor’s, where they were having a mini-party, and asked if I could borrow their live-in nanny. 

What I *specifically* said, along with some social niceties, was “Hey, Female Friend, Male Friend and I were thinking about running out to a bar. Do you mind if I hire Nanny for the night?”

Neighbor said she didn’t care, so I talked to Nanny, who was all for making a few extra bucks for the night. So my friends and I went out to the clubs. We drove in Female Friend’s car and left mine and Male Friend’s at my house. We shut the bar down and got home around 2:30, at which time Female Friend and Male Friend went to their homes.

The next day I got a call from my husband. Neighbor had sent DH an email saying that I was fucking around on him because there was a man’s car parked outside our house until the wee hours. Because my car was still sitting there too, I must be there with him, alone. Apparently Neighbor had gotten so damn drunk she had no recollection of our conversation and me hiring Nanny. 

Even better? There’s two other people in the Army with the same name as my husband. She’d sent both of them the email as well.

Fun times.

All I can say is, that I have just totally lost it.  I wish I got hatemail like this.  I would just die with the fun of it.  The typo’s and the exclamation points and capital letters to emphasize your errors is just classic.  Oh please, please, bring the haterz on.

♥Nely

Holy crap! If that hater actually thinks that is appropriate spelling/grammar, how in the world did they graduate high school (assuming, of course, that they did)?

A couple of months ago, someone wrote a scathing, but unintentionally humorous comment on my review of Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas on GoodReads. The individual couldn’t spell, didn’t use capitals or punctuation, and really didn’t make much sense. The comment went something like this:

“u dont now anything about good books this is the best book EVA written! u shouldnt write reviews if u r so dumb”

At first, I thought it was a joke - you know, because of the text talk and all that? I was VERY tempted to write something back about intelligence and their obvious lack, but decided to be an adult and just deleted their comment. In hindsight, I wish I had left it on there for days when I need a good laugh.

Note: I gave the book 3-stars and explained why I didn’t love the book. Obviously that individual doesn’t believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

BTW - If you ever want to read some insane hate, wander over to the blog Awful Library Books - http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ - every now and again someone will stumble across the blog and write a horrible, hate-filled reply that basically amounts to “HOW DARE YOU WEED THIS REAL ESTATE BOOK FROM 1965! LIBRARIES ARE SUPPOSE TO KEEP EVERYTHING!”

Then of course all us library workers get on them telling them that a library can’t keep everything, especially out of date information.

There’s a saying in the restaurant business: Some people go out to eat, and some people go out to bitch.

@JJ - OMG, I love the link to dramatic readings of hate mail. I must listen to them all!

I haven’t yet gotten hate mail, just a couple strange spam comments.  The blog posts I write for work have come closer to getting anything like hate mail - I once got a very lengthy email from an employee of a large library-related company that shall remain nameless, ranting about the article I had written about that criticized the company.  It was bizarre, but I saved it as proof that someone besides my coworkers reads my blog.

Oh my! How did you keep from snapping your neighbor’s head off An Army Wife?  The good thing about hate email from people you don’t know is that you can laugh it off.  Words from strangers aren’t as powerful, IMO.  A neighbor sending hate email to my DH about me?  The Mean in me flares hot.

I am boring.  I get no hate mail like that…  of course, I almost needed a translator, so I’m kind of cool with not getting any.

That is amazing.

I’ve gotten some very angry comments on book reviews, particularly Twilight (my favorite kind is the “if you don’t like it don’t read it” version - because of course I know whether I will or will not like something before I read it, duh), but my very favorite comment ever was in response to a post about Selena Gomez’s weirdly young-looking face (she’s grown into it since I made the post):

Is it really kosher to dislike someone because they date someone you like? If you have that much of a problem with it ask Taylor Lautner out yourself.

Well, gee, I’ve tried to ask Taylor Lautner to junior prom, but he keeps saying no!

I got a hand-written letter from a woman who read one of my Temptations many years ago. She wanted to let me know that the flames of hell were going to be very painful and I should prepare myself because obviously having written such filth, I was destined to damnation (in those words.)

She also told me she had torn the cover off the book and taped it to her refrigerator so she would never—EVER—make the mistake of buying one of my books again.

That cover had a nekkid guy with a sheet draped across his lap, sitting on a bed behind a woman in a silky white nightgown. Hmm.

At least no one has yet threatened to sue the Bitches for their reviews - I hope!

It’s not hate mail, but I did find a review the other day that said something along the lines of YICK!!!!! oh double YICK!!!!!!. Was it one of my erotica titles, with lots of hardcore sex? No, it was one of my chick lit titles, with no on-the-page.

Although I might have to go back and check that I didn’t accidentally insert (hur hur) a few sex scenes by accident because an Amazon review of a later book in the series complained about the endless shagging in the book. It was, unlike the glorious hate mail sent to Sarah, quite well-written, just puzzlingly inaccurate. I can only conclude that the reader was on some sort of hallucinogen, or just so bored she (okay, men just aren’t that bitchy) resorted to making up things to complain about.

But that’s what you get for Googling yourself.

Holy crap that was hilarious! I am a fan of the Dark series (hey they were my first paranormals!) but I can see why people make fun of it and I can see why people (a lot of people) think it’s repetitive. I actually have a Feehanisms drinking game, where I drink every time molten lava, velvet sheaths and velvet over steel (plus many others!) are mentioned. Belive me, her books are fun when you do this plus it works for the Dark series, Ghostwalkers and the Leopards - tons of fun! Well, I do have to stop sometimes when the page gets blurry :)

That girl takes her Dark series and mythology very seriously. But not seriously enough to use spell check or a dictionary, just enough to write a very misspelled rant that ended up being funny and kind of scary because she takes it so seriously. Does she know the Carpathians aren’t real?

Sarah’s review is really funny to me. Don’t take your books that seriously please!

I recently got a fabulous little snippet on Amazon which I love so much I posted on FB and it has spurred me to create a bookmark with all the crappy things anyone has ever said about my writing. I thought I’d give them away at National for fun. She called my latest book, TRUSTING THE BODYGUARD (Shameless plug, I know!) the “Worst piece of crap ever” and while she usually donates her books to the library, mine went “straight into the trash!” LMAO! Oh well.

My favorite was as a lady who told me off for taking the Lord’s name in vain and wondered why my character (who was at the lowest point of his life) couldn’t say ‘oh my goodness’ instead of ‘oh god’.
She then went on to tell me that although she would never buy another book I’d written, that her vacation with her husband had included lots of extra hot sex, so she supposed that was something.

@ Melissa
Yikes, I would be on the floor in no time if I had to drink every time one of those came up in her books. I hope your list also includes: tremendous, enormous, and for-all-time. A double might be in order every time enormous is used to describe something abstract, like a career.

I love them but I also recognize why others would not.

Wow. Message is slightly diluted by the *excellent* spelling and grammar, no?

I worked in agriculture communications and received thousands of hate mail letters directed at the farmers and food industry professionals. My job was to correct the misinformation, respond with the appropriate amount of sympathy and “but you’re wrong” mix, and invite them into extended dialogue. Most stopped after the first letter.

I didn’t worry so much about this kind of hate mail - the kind where people don’t even take the time to make sure the message is clear… It’s the calm, rationale, well-written mail that got my heart pumping and issued the best PR challenge :-)

So I run this online text-based journal-based RPG, which is currently on hiatus while we plan how to reboot it both software-wise and plot-wise.  And we have a hater who has never forgiven us for:

1) dropping the Harry Potter stuff (we started out as an HP historical game, always AU, but hated the last two books and decided to remove serial numbers)

2) spelling a Basque word wrong (maybe; the person who gave us the original spelling isn’t Basque, but neither is our troll, and they both say they got their spelling from a Basque person, and google gives me both spellings).

OK.  So, because this hater is annoyed, she has got herself banned from Live Journal for making at least 5 fake parody blogs of me or other people (which I wouldn’t have cared about except she was using my actual pictures with my actual face on them, defaced, for a while, and we do everything pseudonymously) and making fun of me for being fat, Jewish, and a lesbian (I’ve never denied being fat or Jewish, although I insist I’m bisexual since I’ve married at least three men and I’m not currently dating anyone).  But that’s not the best part.  The best part is that she made about 30 Insane Journal blogs parodying the journals that are involved in my game.  They’re really funny—and they’re HP-canon compliant and heavily focused on the Blacks and other characters I could care less about, or in other words, the game she wishes we were running.

I think she has a “Big Ole Lesbian Crush on me!”

@ bounababe

There are so many good ones that I forget them all!
- clenching womb (ouch)
- mortals and immortals alike
- cruel dark eyes (there are a bunch of eye descriptions)
- there is no hero without heroine
- white lightening (usually describes the taste of blood)
- I can do no other

I was once told by a caller that I was going straight to hell because the company I worked for used animals for testing our product.  Problem was it was a toothbrush manufacturer.  No animal testing involved.  Around the office we laughed for a month about bunnies with minty fresh breath after we got done brushing their teeth!

I don’t get any hate mail, but now I positively covet it, if just to steal your lovely phrase „fine ranty asshattery“. I would totally use it, even though chances are my hate mail would be in German. But I totally would use the word asshattery, and I hope it would encourage the offender to keep on asshatting.
I lurk around a lot of blogs, and I am constantly amazed how people will come right out in the comments and basically tell you that your opionion sucks. Which would be ok-ish, if they’d tell you why they think you are wrong. Which can be done in a civilized manner. I’ve heard these things actually do happen. Allegedly.
But no,they go right on and basically tell you that you have no right to your opinion in the first place, and that totally sucks in every conceivable way.
And does it ever occur to them to just NOT READ your posts, if they never agree anyway? Instead of reading them religiously and then proceed to rantily asshat away in the comments? Because seriously, your blog is your own thing, and you basically can say whatever you want. Or, you know, just explain why they don’t agree.
Why am I even saying this?! We all know this, and we all agree that some people have different opinions and different tastes, and good for them! Clearly, we romance readers truly are Smart Bitches and way more evolved than the average person :D

@JenH - OhNOES!

I just gave 40 dolls to a co-worker for her children to play with. They were American and Japanese Barbie, Jenny and anime dolls of all genders and races (including the one that has green, blue and purple hair) that I had bought, played with and tired of or bought for their outfits and stripped (I am not a fan of the Superstar facemold).  I open everything except for dolls with feathers on them because my cats will eat them.  I bet your hatemailer would absolutely DIE thinking of the fact that I broke up Barbie giftsets to get the collectible clothes or whatever and gave the dolls to actual children to actually play with. But I feel great about it, because when I was a little kid my high school age cousins gave me their TnT and bubblecuts :)

I have nothing against NRFB collectors except for the ones who forget that the dolls are actually toys and those of us who play with them are not Destroying Great Works of Art.

DRAT! Now I totally want to read Dark Prince and I can’t find an e-version anywhere.

Are you listening, gods of publishing? I want to buy this book I will pay for it. Right now. I’ll be over it by tomorrow when I might actually get to a bookstore and I don’t want to wait until next week when the dead tree version will arrive via the mail.

I’ve never received hate mail. Perhaps Jane L or Dionne has received some on my behalf, and if that’s the case, sorry ladies!

I think the Haterz are the most amazing breed. The writer works his/herself into such a lather that a coherent sentence is difficult to manage, and proof reading is out the window. Of course, it makes for endless entertainment, so I’m with Sarah. I’d love to see more Haterz Mail.

Melissa,
OMG YES, the mystical clenching womb.
I’m a pretty easy reader. I’m fine with almost all tropes, up to and including the secret baby, but her “clenching womb” really makes me double over when reading, and not in a good way. If the rest of the book wasn’t so cracktastic, I don’t think I would be able to overlook that one.
speaking of clenching things….a new Feehan just came out. I’m off to Wallworld.

Darn. I’ve never received hate mail and I’m a bit envious at the moment. Some of these hate mail examples are wonderful and, as often happens here, what was meant to be a put-down sounds like a big thumbs-up to me. For instance:

Leslie Kelly said on…
05.03.10 at 07:47 AM
I got a hand-written letter from a woman who read one of my Temptations many years ago. She wanted to let me know that the flames of hell were going to be very painful and I should prepare myself because obviously having written such filth, I was destined to damnation (in those words.)

When I read this, my first thought was:  I’ve only read a few of Leslie Kelly’s books. I really do need to track down the rest of them. My second thought was that it’s been way too long since someone told me I was going to hell. I must be getting old. *sigh*

Julia Spencer-Fleming said on…
05.03.10 at 03:34 AM
I’ve gotten a few over the years from people who have mistaken my books for Nice Christian Fiction and are Very Disappointed with me for dropping the F-bomb and using the Lord’s name in vain. I always want to say, “Lady, I don’t talk that way. But the 50 year old cop you’re quoting does.”
Instead, I usually answer back, “I know. My mother doesn’t approve of that, either.” Which is true.
I once got a real, snail-mail letter from a reader who wanted me to know I was going to hell for writing pornography about a priest. It was forwarded to me by my publisher. It originally came from Canada—complete with extra international postage. WTF?? I picture some little old lady having a wicked lot of fun mailing out author hate mail on her way to return the book to the library.

See, I didn’t really notice the language much because: a) I do talk that way, probably because, b) my 80-year old mother tends to drop the f-bomb with some regularity.

And since I was late discovering this series (thanks Bitches for the recommendation) and have only read the first couple so far, I immediately thought: There’s pornography ahead? Awesome! Must. Read. Faster. But that thought was fleeting because I’m sure her idea of pornography and mine are very different. You know what they say: “One man’s pornography is another man’s high school reunion photos.” Wait. That’s not right… How does it go? “One man’s pornography… isn’t nearly as interesting and varied as 10 men’s pornography.” No, that’s not it either. Oh hell, I don’t remember how that saying goes. Nevermind.

I’ve never received hate mail, but some of my friends are huge Twilight fans and I’ve had some interesting discussions with them.  They can’t seem to understand why I find it a tad creepy that Edward watches Bella while she sleeps (all the time!) and while he’s not sleeping himself.

I had another interesting discussion with my 12 year old stepsister about what she wants to do when she grows up.  It was all well and good until she told me that she wants to name her first daughter Renesmee.  My reaction was pretty much the following: “Oh noes!”  D:

The Twilight books were okay, but I much prefer Stephanie Meyer’s other book, The Host.

I do the news section for a movie review blog, and the only hate mail I get is from people who are under the mistaken impression that I have anything to do with actually making movies.

So it goes like this:
Me: [Company] has announced plans for a [movie franchise] remake. Blah blah blah.
Asshat: Why do you [expletive] have to rmaking every [fanboy statement of adoration] movie?!!111 [several paragraphs of colorful language]. U SCK1!!

I then forward it around to my cohorts, and we have a good laugh.

The best ever was a long (looong) time ago, but unfortunately not directed at me. We had a review for one of the Star Trek movies that had a, pretty obviously, tongue in cheek comment about “Bees! In spaaace!” This guy not only wrote how absolutely wrong the opinion of the review was, but proceeded to write an almost three page explanation about how bees wouldn’t even be able to survive in outer space, and how we were stupid for even saying they could. And he didn’t Email it. Oh, no. He posted it on our forum for all and sundry to read. And, yea, it was epic.

I’ll see if I can find it to share, but it may be lost to the interwebs. Unfortunately.

He might’ve been the same guy who said we were all the same person, just that we were writing under different names.

My favorite was as a lady who told me off for taking the Lord’s name in vain and wondered why my character (who was at the lowest point of his life) couldn’t say ‘oh my goodness’ instead of ‘oh god’.

i would have been tempted to tell her that it was because the character wasn’t named either Wally or The Beave.

She then went on to tell me that although she would never buy another book I’d written, that her vacation with her husband had included lots of extra hot sex, so she supposed that was something.

Hate mail with bonus TMI. Now that’s a winner.

When working as an Arts & Culture reporter for the university’s daily newspaper last summer, we sat around hoping—wishing, praying—for hate-mail. Because (a) it meant someone bothered to read the daily paper, and (b) that person bothered to read your section of the daily paper. Journalists live for hate-mail, what can we say?

In June, I wrote a review of Lauren Conrad’s YA book, L.A. Candy. You know—Lauren Conrad, aka L.C. of MTV’s “The Hills.” She wrote a book. Actually, she’s now written two books, and there is a third on the way. (Like celebrity deaths, these things happen in threes.) And, well, I didn’t much like said book, which was my prerogative as both a reader and a reviewer. Naturally, my little editorial piece reflected my sentiments.

After voicing my opinions on characterization, writing style, originality, and author qualifications, I received a couple of commentary gems, such as:

You’re right. Lauren has really accomplished so little. Most 23 years olds run multi-million dollar business’ of their own, run meetings with people twice her age, design clothing lines, write books…... Lot’s of young girls are pretty and end on TV, very few are able to transform that kind of opportunity into a business. Most of them crash and burn.
Try to suppress the jealousy and give her a little credit.

And in response to the “umms” and “likes” that dotted her dialogue:

I have never watched “The Hills” and I only know so much about Lauren Conrad. But c’mon atleast the girl is trying. She isn’t out partying every day or night. ... Atleast she wrote a book instead of doing drugs and drinking alcohol. God-forbid she use some intellegent word that only the upper class of Amercia can understand.

But, best of all, and just for me:

You are a witch.

Now, I realize I was being snarky; heck, I was paid to be snarky. Just for clarification’s sake: This was my favorite piece to write, because—truth time—I LOVE Lauren Conrad. “The Hills” was my go-to guilty pleasure for years. I just happen to think she’s an awful writer (or her ghostwriter is…in which case, someone needs to get his/her B.A. in English checked for authenticity).

I love hate-mail. Love it, love it, love it.

U R TEH POOPY HEAD. I NO CARE ABOUT TENSE.

@hwn—Dude, best hate mail ever! Becausings:

a) I’m picturing Sloth from the Goonies and
b) it can’t be serious.

I so wish that were my hater.

@Tara:

There’s pornography ahead? Awesome!

I have to warn you, based on the flames of hell thing, my stuff isn’t nearly as hot as Leslie Kelly’s books. Clearly, she’s intended for a much more sizzling level of damnation than I am.

Verification: comes98. I’m not going to touch that one with a ten-foot pole.

Eek! I couldn’t get past page 50 of the very first Carpathian book; I hated it so much. I’ve suffered some freak-outs from Feehan lovers who worship the series when they heard of my dislike, but sounds like I’ve lucked out so far that I’ve never encountered that particular fan—I’d be killed with misspelled hate.

What gets me is that this hater is bitching about accuracy and not reading all of the books, ohnoes, and yet they obviously didn’t read Sarah’s review properly.

3.) “They can only drink fruit juice” eh hem you really didn’t pay attention. tehy can MAKE themselfs drink it but it can’t stay down, they have to get rid of it soon.

And from the original:

They can only drink fruit juice and all other foods make them ill;

*face palm*

Julia Spencer-Fleming,
  If you want to see some amazing nastiness and hating going on over Christian fiction now, you could check out the kindle discussion group on Amazon.  The kindleers have been getting a bit restive recently over the fact that so many Christian fiction publishers are making limited-time free book offers on kindle, and some of these freebies are not clearly labelled as Christian fiction.  So people download what looks like a romance, and find that it’s stealth evangelizing.  Some people have been asking that Amazon label the books more clearly, and other people argue against this.  There’s one guy on there now who is writing long rants against identifying Christian fiction clearly, and calling everyone who disagrees with him “theophobes” and atheists who want to suppress religion.  One woman wrote in and noted that her young daughter was reading a Harry Potter book at school one day and a teaching aide told her that she would surely go to hell because she was reading such an evil book.  The nasty ranter then wrote a hate-filled message saying that it was right to tell the child that she was going to hell and that the mother should not have complained to the school about the incident ...

You want real hate? Point out historical errors in Gabaldon’s work, then say Outlander was so bad you simply couldn’t finish it . . . apparently there’s a special hell waiting for me (filled with Gabaldon books, no doubt).

That’s some quality hate. I have to say, my favorite line:

You don’t have to read them now, because every single book follows this formula. *deep breath* you obviously didn’t read Dark Melody, Dark Dreamer, Dark Guardian, Dark Ledgend, Dark Prince, Dark Celebration or…....

Yes, using the word “Dark” is every single title is clear evidence the series couldn’t POSSIBLY be formulaic.

That line sounds like it’s from an SNL sketch. In fact, this letter writer should be half of a sketch with the “Bitch Pleaze” character. I would watch that shit.

I follow a celebrity/pop culture blog. After a few angry teenagers shared their well-spoken (ahem) opinion, someone (ie a regular, mature poster) developed the handle “luvlindsay” (as in lohan.)  “luvlindsay” now writes in from time to time to let us all know “u suk b cuz lindsay is coolr then u haterz will EVA b! hr self-tannerz n leggings r the awesomest! STFU! WTF! BBQ!”  we’ve come to love luvlindsay.

Man, I can’t wait for the day I get hate mail from actual strangers. I’m just starting out trying to get published, and the only person who sends me hate messages is my fiancé‘s cousin, who leaves comments about how useless I am on my Facebook profile.

@ bounababe,

I have Wild Fire and a bottle (or two) of wine ready for whenever I finish Lover Mine by Ward (another cracktastic author). I also still have Street Game by CF in the ol’ TBR mountain for more fun.

Clenching wombs remind me of montly cramps, not sexy times.

Ahh. Hate mail.

Since I am still working on publication in romance, I don’t get romance hate mail. Yet. I get it at my blog. I write about whatever strikes my fancy, and most of the hate mail follows the usual pattern—“You made me so mad I had to write, even though I’ve never written to a blog before!!! You are stupid/don’t know what you’re talking about/going to Hell/breaks finger off in the exclamation key!!!!!!!!” Of course, there’ s plenty of grammatical errors and misspellings involved as well.

I also used to get some world-class hate mail when I wrote for a NFL blog. How dare any female comment on professional football, especially when she’s proven right? I don’t write or comment there anymore, but I have visited since. They’re now complaining because I’m gone.

;-)

To Julia Spencer Fleming, please don’t stop the 50 year old cursing w/porn you write so beautifully. I needs me some Russ and Clare. Don’t make me send you a Haterz email about how long I am having to go without my fix. :-)

Inga,

There’s one guy on there now who is writing long rants against identifying Christian fiction clearly, and calling everyone who disagrees with him “theophobes” and atheists who want to suppress religion.

Ironically, this past Sunday’s Gospel reading was, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples; if you have love for one another.”

Sigh.

“some weird dance involved with casting and uncasting a spell” its not
a spell idiots, or at least not exactly they dance to draw power from motehr
earth (kinda wiccan or whatever)

BWAhahahaha!  Yeah, you idiots!  How could you possibly think that a kinda wiccan or whatever dance to draw power from mother earth is “weird” dance or a “spell”?  UR so dum!  Learn to read!  Or stfu!  Oh my, I’m going to be giggling all day.

I don’t get hate e-mails, but I’ve been in retail and customer service for a lot of years, and I get some doozy in-person freakazoids.  The one that comes to mind right now is the woman who called me a cunt for refusing to give her a refund for something she bought at another store in the mall.  Because they had closed, and we hadn’t.  And aren’t we all the same?

I hate the word “haters” and I hate Will Smith for bringing the slang it into the mainstream on ‘Big Willie Style’. There has been 13 years worth of that insufferable word thanks to him.

KeriM,

I’m afraid your neat typing, correct spelling and failure to use even a single exclamation point marks you as completely failure as a Hatr. (Haitr?)

Hatr. (Haitr?)

H8r?

Everybody step back, Sarah’s getting jiggy.

Darn my mom for drilling into me, “If you can’t say something nice….” that and “NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!”, but that is another story. ;-)

Should have kept those old mails… My favorite was when a fellow member of a former community, who was all sweetness and light on public posts, had a brainglitch and wrote a really nasty email about all my horrible qualities to another community member—accidentally cc’ing the whole community. I was utterly aghast when it happened, but in hindsight it was pretty giggleworthy.  Tarnished that angelic halo good and well!

Probably doesn’t count, but at work we had a very long letter of complaint from a dissatisfied customer which is now pinned up in the staff room.  The basic jist of it being “I came to your tourist attraction and it was terrible - I hate old houses and birds and that’s all you had. You suck”
I work at a falconry centre in a stately home.  That is the point of the attraction and the only thing advertised.  Goodness knows what this bloke was expecting….

then say Outlander was so bad you simply couldn’t finish it . . . apparently there’s a special hell waiting for me (filled with Gabaldon books, no doubt).

I guess we will keep each other company, then, because I’ve been saying that for years.  Not so much due to historical inaccuracies, though.  I couldn’t finish it because the book bored me to tears.

@KalenHughes and @Tina C. save me a seat!

(british38, LOL)

I once received multiple hate mails from a whole forum of conservative women for the snarky review I did of an absolutely terrible book called Happy Housewives, by Darla Shine. Luckily, the comments supporting me were almost as numerous, and a lot more entertaining.

After Darla called me a feminazi and banned me and anyone else that critiqued her from her web site, I got even more incoherent attacks: http://imponderabilia.blogspot.com/2006/02/hypocrites-and-feminazis.html

Ah, those were the days.

Not exactly hate mail, but I did think this was funny (emphasis added):

“Drop any first-person stories you have and continue with third-person. You are way, way better with this style of writing & seriously ROCK ON because for forever I’ve always thought, well, she could be better and it’s so great to see you’ve found a style of writing that you’re so comfortable with & good at.”

My captcha is may78.  Ah yes, I remember it well!

@ Tina C and Tiferet

If you’re going to be in Nashville (or wherever RWA ends up now that the Oprey is under water) PLEASE come find me. I’ll buy the first round and we can be mean girls in the bar. *grin*

I don’t get hate e-mails, but I’ve been in retail and customer service for a lot of years, and I get some doozy in-person freakazoids.

You just made me remember a guy at the airport where I used to work on check-in. I did about six months either side of 9/11, although it was a London airport and our flights were all European, the terrorist threat was really ramped up (and it was never exactly low-key: we did about six daily flights to Belfast and every one of them was screened for terrorists. Every damn day).

One day this guy was having a screaming fit at the woman next to me on the Sales desk. I don’t know what his problem was, but it’s amazing how intelligent, rational people become Haterz the second they enter an airport. He decided that whatever the problem was, it was the airline’s fault, and after they failed to solve it he walked away and shouted loud enough that about two dozen check-in desks and all associated passengers could hear, “I hope all your planes fall out of the sky!”

Now, even from day one, we were trained that if anyone even jokes about guns or bombs or whatever, to automatically treat it as a threat.  It was well within the law to actually have someone arrested for saying they had a gun (even before 9/11. Like I said, what with the IRA and Lockerbie, the UK’s been quite sensitive about terrorism for a while). My colleague said, “Sir, that’s a terrorist threat.” He said he didn’t care. She picked up the phone and said, “I’m calling the police.” The passenger glanced around, and saw the airport police (who, unlike regular UK coppers, are armed. Very visibly armed).

It was amazing how fast he apologised.

I get too much glee from laughing at bad hate mail.

I have none to share (yet) and hopefully I won’t…I hope anyway.

Okay, so I don’t have any hate mail for you, but I do have an awesome RESPONSE for hate mail via H.L. Mencken an early 20th century humorist.  It goes like this:

I am sitting here in the smallest room of my house with your letter of criticism before me.  Soon it will be behind me.

Sincerely,

Have fun.  :D

Regan

My favorite part:

“smart” bitches?? i
think thee not,

I think THEE not? OMGLOL *dies*

Oh dear, I’m afraid I don’t have it on my computer, but I did get a lovely piece of hate mail from a student when I was a TA, all because I dared to suggest he visit the school writing tutor. He had a tendency to say smart things in class (though he rarely raised his hand to do so), but I couldn’t understand a thing he wrote. So I commented on his paper that I knew he had good ideas but he wasn’t getting them across. He wrote back that his friend typed up his papers for him, any mistakes were all his friend’s fault, he always got As on his work, and he was dropping my class and leaving the country!
I’m pretty sure I was speechless. And if he did leave the country, he was back the next semester, because my colleague had him in her section to give her grief.

I’m a child welfare social worker and I got a lovely “Christmas card” from a client last December.  This woman and her husband had raised their two children significantly worse than most people treat their dogs and their parental rights were removed.  She mailed me a long handwritten, letter ending with:

  buy The way I might have cancer and now what time I have left with my kids is what you took from me and you know the old saying what go’s around come’s around but 10x harder.

I’ve spoken with her sister and she does not have cancer.  I guess I’m going to have my parental rights to 20 children terminated???

So my kids my not see me until I’m in the ground and They have you to thank for that.

Yes, they do have me to thank for that, and that is one of the things in my life of which I am most proud.

You are the worse person I know in the whole world.  have a bad Christmas.

Both of the kids are now in an amazing adoptive home and are doing extremely well.

Oh, my hate mails haven’t started yet. One email asking if I was going to write a book with a black-haired virgin heroine, but no hate mails. But I’m sure they’re coming.

@Julia Spencer-Fleming Amazing how the love bit gets missed, isn’t it?

@Emeth

Honey, you are doing God’s work (whatever god or goddess you so chose). Literally. That’s something I’d be damn proud of too!

Actually, scratch that. I have gotten hate mail. I was first chair saxophonist in my high school band and one day I found a letter in my instrument locker telling me I’d ruined every concert. I’m 99% it came from the second chair and probably only him.

I got some vindication when for my final performance I rocked my solo and my band teacher told the others to play better or he’d put hate mail in THEIR lockers.

I still wish he had actually punished the guy for it though.

Oh hell, most of mine would come from work and candidates who aren’t happy that they failed a test and try to put the blame elsewhere so they don’t have to pay for it again.

And then there’s my soon-to-ex-boss who said on my evaluation that “I’m hard to work with” and not ever giving an example of what the fuck she is talking about!

I’m glad you decided to share the email!!!

I participate in a chat room at work where the CSR’s can report problems before they can develop into full-blown disasters, as well as ask questions, and there is one CSR who wants to be the pretty little princess of the chat room. She is so determined to be the center of attention that she blows up indignantly at any other agent who would dare - horrors! - to try to get the mod’s attention while she is “talking.” She is rarely ever posting anything work-related, either. It’s usually overly cutesy meme-type stuff and little anecdotes about what celebrity she resembles, etc. Word is, she’s irate that she hasn’t been hired on permanently yet. Gee, I wonder why?

@Laurel: try mentioning Fanny Burney on a Jane Austen board sometime, and you will witness some literary hateration.

My favorite hate letter is ancient - a long time pre-internet.  I was part of a college-based Star Trek group and we had been corresponding with a fan from another state.  When we got a Christmas card from her that wished us, “Merry Christmas and Heil Hitler,” we cautiously wrote back. “Uh, sure.  Thanks.  IDIC and all that.  But, er, just for your information, we are Catholic and Jewish and pagan and Muslim and white and black and hispanic.  I hope that’s OK with you?”

We got a rant back that said, ” Never write to me again!  You must be liberals!  I don’t know exactly what a liberal is, but I know they are evil and so are you!”

Unfortunately, it was all spelled right.

I have a 19 page, drunken ranty email (yes, 19 pages!) that another author wrote to a friend (not realizing we knew each other) that details how I am satan.

If only I had that much power…..

Of couse I kept it but it’s much too long for any blog.  :)

Srsly…..19 pages?!

Ah, Sharron.  19 pages.  That’s when you know you’re doing something right.  :D

JT

And then there’s my soon-to-ex-boss who said on my evaluation that “I’m hard to work with” and not ever giving an example of what the fuck she is talking about!

Hee!  My last review, I got “Well, you did what I asked you to, but you didn’t act happy to do it.”  Verbally.  On the written form, there was not a single comment.  Just the scale marks (needs work, does well), which she had knocked down by one (out of four) across the board, because it’s against her philosophy to give “excellents”.  So my scale marks ALL WENT DOWN, significantly, without a word explaining why.  ‘Cause that wouldn’t be a red flag to a future supervisor.  It’s like they lose all rationality when they move into management.

@Emeth, I ditto Kalen.  You’re doing good things.  Thank you.

Some time ago, 4 of my family members died within months of each other.  It was a dreadful year, but my colleagues at work were very supportive and understanding, even when I was flying across the country regularly to see my dad through multiple cancer surgeries.  At the end of that awful year, my boss gave me my performance evaluation.  It said:  “The only thing I can criticize is that she doesn’t have enough of a sense of humor.”

What a pig he was.

I had a nice hate mail before from a lovely mother of 3, a preacher’s wife whom I knew from the community and who didn’t like my stopping her hater’s rant on muslims on my facebook page. I only remember first sentence though “Yes, K., you are going to Hell, and you won’t enjoy it” Damn, I so thought I would :)) Don’t you just love religious zealots? I just posted her letter on my front page and let other people judge for themselves (it was fun).

I have some strong opinions - and after a few glasses of wine have no trouble expressing them…

I know I get some hate back - hey some conservative moron started a thread about me on Amazon the other day just because they misinterpreted what I said!! - but I’m a bit of a chicken; I have my say, run away, and tend not to come back!

Inga, oh my God, people are stupid!!

So many people are caught up in themselves. They all seem to think everybody thinks about THEM first.

You know, the Carpathians are a guilty pleasure for me. But I hated the books when I first read them, and I started rereading the other day, and yep, they’re still ridiculous. I can read a bad review and still enjoy them! In fact, reading the bad reviews makes them more fun!

And, hell, if I was going to send hate mail, I’d at least use spell check!!

For all those who have hate mail from “Christians” remind them of two things.

1: Love thy neighbor as you love yourself.

2: Judge not lest ye be judged.

Remind them that by breaking both those two things they are not Christians and are therefore going to Hell.

I don’t know if anyone here is familiar with the website “emailsfromcrazypeople.com”  Lots of crazy hate mail goodness there.  Unfortunately the site is no longer being updated but the backlog is very interesting.  I think it was part of the Cheezeburger network.

@KalenHughes and @Tina C…I stopped reading at the spanking.

Back when I had a livejournal & made icons, my cousin’s GF left the following anonymous comment on one of my posts:

No one really likes you. Everyone sees how you treat people, and how you are an inconsiderate bitch. Developed social skills my ass. Grow up and get over yourself.

You are an idiot.

And, your icons suck. My grandfather could make better icons blindfolded. Oh yeah, so does your acting. I’ve never seen such a stiff actress who plays the same part in every single fucking production.

It’s time you realize the world doesn’t revolve around you. And your glasses are ugly.

The thing was, this comment circulated around my family for weeks (the glasses line is my favorite, and yet she never owned up to it. Oh, LJ drama.

What?  Spanking?  I’m only an eighth of the way through Outlander, and I put it down because it’s just not as awesome as I’d been led to believe (for me, YMMV of course).  There’s a spanking?  Is it at least a fun spanking??? 

age88.  I’m gonna be 88 before I get through the book…

Haaa, I love this. Thanks for sharing everyone. Here’s a comment on my blog on a post I wrote (tongue in cheek) about how I hate Christmas.

Here’s a gentle reminder to be happy and thankful about Christmas.
It sounds like you’re having the typical middle-American perspective on Christmas. Maybe you could cut to the chase. My little friend who’s 8 had brain surgery yesterday b/c he can’t be a “normal kid” b/c he has tuberous sclerosis. Today, my adult friend is having brain surgery due to a head injury he got being a police officer. My friend in Baton Rouge is lying in the hospital as we speak with two choices: chemo or hospice. Be thankful. Many people will celebrate their last Christmas this year or they won’t even make it to this one. Have you ever been to a foreign country? When I went to Thailand, there were villages without electricity or running water - no need for a Christmas village with extension cords there. It may help your outlook if you can to keep the main thing the main thing. Luke chapter 2. Be thankful for the baby in the manger, that’s all that will matter when we’re left with nothing, not money, not wealth, not health. Merry Christmas. A friend of fan

I especially love it when people quote Bible verses for me. Or just leave the references and expect me to look them up.

I just remembered something. I did recently get a hate text—from my baby sister of all people. She wanted a favor and I was busy at the time and didn’t drop what I was doing to help her. Plus the email she sent me that started all this was blank. No message, no attachment. I emailed her back and said in my response, “The email you sent was blank, but I’m busy right now. I have a hundred other things demanding my attention at the moment.”

She then texted me this in response.

“U r so freakn rude its awful. Dont worry i wont ask u to do anything else….its not like i was asking you to do alot. My gosh get over urself.”

Number 1, she never asked. NEVER asked, just expected me to drop everything and cater to her needs and I was having major WIP issues that day, which takes priority. Just sent it, and as I said, forgot to attach her file or even write anything in the email to let me know what she wanted in the first place.

Rest assured, though, I fired back a much longer and better written text than hers and let her know I did not appreciate her attitude and exactly what she could do with it.

What did she do then? Well, we’ve not spoken a word, emailed, or texted since then and this happened on 4/23. She did, however, go to my parents when she got off work that day (did I mention she’s 27?) and TOLD ON ME. I kid you not. She ran to mama to tattle on me. Fortunately, other than letting me know about her bitch session, mom & dad have not said a word about it, which is good. I really didn’t want to get into it with them. She’s a big girl and can do her own homework and face the consequences of her bratty actions, IMO.

Ah, family. Got to love them.

@Heather, OMG, if this were not a public forum and if certain members of my family didn’t Google for themselves all the time, I would have some STORIES. ;) Good luck with that!

@ Quercus ...nope, not fun spanking. It was about halfway through. I tried, I REALLY tried to remember the historical context of Outlander, but I simply could not get past that scene. Otherwise, I was enjoying the book! LOL

“Yes, K., you are going to Hell, and you won’t enjoy it”

Well, if you’re going to be in “the other place” then bring it on! I gave up arguing about this years ago and accepted that this is my tryout to be Beelzebub’s secretary (and I only get one shot, so I better make my badness good).

As for Outlander, I don’t think I got as far as the spanking . . . I gave up somewhere in the endless lesson on either candle making or milking a cow around page 350. *yawn* I set the book aside one night and just couldn’t force myself to pick it back up.

capcha: come69 *tee-hee*

Clearly, she’s intended for a much more sizzling level of damnation than I am.

Oh, I have no doubt…all that sexxxoring is such nasty stuff!

It just cracks me up how many people gush over my slash-em-up thrillers while kindly saying, “I’m so glad you decided to write real books…I mean, you know…books without all that sex.”

Cause, of course, sex is sooooo much more evil than serial murder.

@Heather,

You just described my life. Except my sister is in her thirties.

@Leslie Kelly,

It just cracks me up how many people gush over my slash-em-up thrillers while kindly saying, “I’m so glad you decided to write real books…I mean, you know…books without all that sex.”

I know, I know. I have dispatched close to two dozen people in all sorts of nasty ways in my books, and it doesn’t raise an eyebrow. But when I started adding SEX into it… (.) (.)
                            0

No one has ever asked me if I have personal experience in offing someone with a cattle bolt gun. But no less than three friends assumed sexxoring on the kitchen table must be straight from real life. As if, with three kids.

Hmm. My little ASCII shocked-eyeball guy came out looking like the start of a sketch of Goofy.

But no less than three friends assumed sexxoring on the kitchen table must be straight from real life.

That’s it, if there is going to be sexxoring on the kitchen table, I can no longer wait to savor the wonderfulness that is Russ and Claire until the end of the semester.  I must read now, grad school finals be damned.

Do your friends ask that question before dinner, or after?

PS: Chin-up…eventually the kids do grow up and get out of the house on occasion.

Leslie,

Guests get to use the dining room table. My fear is, by the time the kids are out of the house, kitchen-table hanky-panky will lead to a call to the local emergency rescue team, followed by a long course of physical therapy.

Emeth, put that book down and get back to studying!

@Julia Spencer-Fleming
I thought It was supposed to be boobs

@Julia - Just start taking joint supplements and get in a little yoga and you’ll both be able to do the wild thing on the kitchen table when you’re 99.

At least, that’s according to all the health nuts here in Southern California.

@Miri

If they were boobs, they wouldn’t be Goofy, they’d be Droopy.

Oh I totally forgot—I HAVE had a brush with hatemail.

I got an anonymous hate letter from somebody who hadn’t gotten a thank-you note from me for a wedding gift.  She threatened to take it out on my sister when she got married by not giving her a gift.  It even had an Emily Post etiquette clipping.  Of course I was 21 at the time and cried my eyes out, but if it happened today I’d post it on the fridge and laugh. 

And don’t even get me started on the gossipy hate letter that went around the church about my family and several other couples.  It’s author?  Our then-pastor. Ummmm—0.o Yeah—he was asked to move on…

That’s it, if there is going to be sexxoring on the kitchen table, I can no longer wait to savor the wonderfulness that is Russ and Claire until the end of the semester.  I must read now, grad school finals be damned.

I’m with Emeth, I’m going to pull I Shall Not Want out of the TBR pile and read it now!  I was going to hold off on reading it for a while, since the next book in the series isn’t coming out until next Spring, but now I’m psyched for it.

I recently received a hatemail in regards to something I must have said on a YouTube post. But I’ve said so much on YouTube I don’t know what exactly I’ve said to upset this complete stranger with unresolved issues. All the email said was “You are a dumb fuck.” Please, if you’re going to hate me, give me a little more detail as to WHY you are hating me.

So I can do it again.

@Leslie Kelly
You’re comment reminds me of an old news story I read. A family in England, including Grandma, had rented the movie Gladiator. But when they popped the disc in it was to discover there had been a mixup and they had accidentally brought home a porno. The family saw about ten seconds of girl on girl action before realizing the mistake and raising a ruckus. I couldn’t help but think it was perfectly alright for the family, including Grandma, to watch three hours of beheadings, stabbings, disembowlings, impalements and glorious technicolor bloodshed - but ten seconds of sex and OMG!!!!!!

I had tried to post something much longer yesterday, but was rejected by the spam word… sign… It’s actually a good thing as I got my first hatr mail today regarding a goodreads post. I fired back in a polite & articulate maner, but what I was thinking was “If you wanted to start a war of words, you should’ve loaded that gun first.”
abreviated original post: Emeth, you’re a goddess. Ev & Inga, I feel your pain. My PHVP called me in to discuss my office demeanor two days after coming back from celebrating what we all new was my mother’s last birthday.

Oops, I meant to say, Ev my review once consisted of:
1. You don’t sit up straight in your chair. After 8 years of catholic education? Chyah, right.
2. You shouldn’t laugh & talk with your co-workers.
3. You shouldn’t ignore your co-workers.
Can you say desperate for a reason to write me up?

Spamword once49. Yes, I was once 49. Better than being twice 49….

What did she do then? Well, we’ve not spoken a word, emailed, or texted since then and this happened on 4/23.

Only 4/23?? I haven’t spoken to my brother in over a year and in a civil tone for longer than that. Why? He wanted me to drop everything- which included trying to do my Capstone for graduation, take care of my husband who had just had heart surgery and take care of my daughter at the same time- while living almost 3 hours away- to come home and take care of our dad who was dying. Now, not that I wouldn’t have if I could have, but, baby brother (he’s 10 years younger than me, now 40) wasn’t even working then! There is no place for me to stay at my parents and I would have had to pay for a hotel, meals and someone to stay at my house, with hubby and daughter. He throws it in my face all the time. Dad knew what was going on and would have killed me had I left here to go there.

He also carries a grudge because I didn’t do something on a calendar he was making- because it couldn’t be done.

I have tons of emails from him and if hubby ever read them, he’d kill him. My brother- and your sister- both need to grow up.

Oops, I meant to say, Ev my review once consisted of:
1. You don’t sit up straight in your chair. After 8 years of catholic education? Chyah, right.
2. You shouldn’t laugh & talk with your co-workers.
3. You shouldn’t ignore your co-workers.
Can you say desperate for a reason to write me up?

Snerk. I love it. That’s someone who had to find something and really scrapped the bottom of the barrel to do it.

Asshat.

Mine didn’t put the hard to work with in the review either. She knew better, because I wouldn’t have signed it and would have gone over her head. She is done tomorrow. I still don’t know how I am hard to work with. dang.

It’s 12:48 in the morning, I’m on mids this week so I’m awake at night. So I’m sitting downstairs on my computer trying *really* hard not to wake up the husband by laughing too loudly, and trawling through your blog for the first time in like a year. You’re not making this “don’t make up the poor sleepy husband” thing easy, woman!

Last time I laughed this hard I was reading “A Civil Campaign” by Lois Bujold.

Last time I laughed this hard I was reading “A Civil Campaign” by Lois Bujold.

Awesome book and I understand why!!!

I still don’t know how I am hard to work with

Sigh, at least I know why she hated me. On my best days I’m mildly snarky, on my worst… Oh, and there’s that pesky I give my job 100% and I expect you to do the same problem.

And today, as I said goodbye, (her new job starts monday), she reminded me that we are still FaceBook friends, so we’ll keep in touch that way! LOLOL

Bwaaaaaahahaha! Why are they always oblivious?

I’ve only received 2 pieces of hate mail in my life, one professional and one personal.  Earlier in the comments someone wrote that it’s a lot easier to receive hate mail from strangers than from people you know, and here’s an illustration of that.

As a teacher I’ve received my share of criticism from parents and students alike, but only one actual hate letter.  The gist of it was, “how dare you give by amzing son a D on his paper…i read it and it was perfect witout any grammar or spelling erors, and your just stupid if you cant see that you ugly fat cow.”  It went on like this for about a page…I wish I still had a copy, as I am completely unable to duplicate her eccentric grammar, spelling, and use of language.  The idea that she knew her son deserved an A, because she had proofread his paper, had me and my whole department in stitches, and the letter hung on our breakroom wall the rest of the year.  Interestingly, the son came in to apologize to me for his mother’s behavior, saying he knew he deserved the D and asking for a chance to correct it.

On a less funny note, I received a very painful hate letter from an ex-boyfriend.  We had dated long distance for a couple of months, but had little in common and very divergent goals in life.  I finally just ended it in the nicest way I could, explaining to him that we wanted different things out of life, etc.  About 2 weeks later I received a two page email from him containing a personal attack on my character.  According to him I was an elitist, intellectual snob who only cared about Latin and Shakespeare and Jane Austen (I was in college and those were some of the classes I was taking).  He ranted that I had viciously dumped him because I thought I was better than him, etc.  I believe he even called me an uppity biotch.  Considering this letter came from a guy who I really liked, but didn’t enjoy dating, it was pretty hurtful.

@Zarrin - At least he was brave enough to write it himself. When I dumped my abusive boyfriend when I had enough of being called stupid and having bruises left on me, he had his best friend write the hate mail. Couldn’t even do it himself. Had to have someone else tell me that I was stupid and ugly.

Sometimes… I want to send myself hate mail.  Just to keep the personal relationship… spicy!

Yes… I am sick.  What’s your point?

Wow. From the man who yelled out at me as I walked by “You were ugly anyway” after I’d turned him down to dance 2 hours earlier….to the phone calls I got from people when I worked for a mail-order company who sold books to Barnes & Noble bookstores, to the lovely man who called asking for a donation for the State Troopers, and when I said politely “No, we give to a local charity” said “BITCH” and hung up. Nice. I also received a personal letter of attack from a “friend” telling me things she thought about me. Obviously, she didn’t think much…at all…because it was incoherent and poorly written. Ah well. I think if you don’t have at least a couple of good haterz in your life you aren’t doing something right. And Leslie Kelly, if you don’t put MORE sex into your books, I’ll send you an intelligible, long, hate-filled diatribe that will knock you ears off ;)

Spam: policy88. Yes, my policy is more PORN!

to the lovely man who called asking for a donation for the State Troopers, and when I said politely “No, we give to a local charity” said “BITCH” and hung up.

Well, that was a scam waiting to happen.

Oh for God’s sake.  I LOVE the Christine Feehan Dark Series (I’ve got all the books up at the top of my bookshelf) but dude.  Really.  It’s a review.  NOT the end of the world.  No one is personally insulting your intelligence for liking it, and frankly, the things you mentioned?  Don’t even matter in the long run. 

I thought it was a well-written, very funny review.  I still like the books, but hey, not everyone’s cup of tea! 

Haterz gonna hate!