Bitchin' Blog Posts
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
by Candy | June 13, 2007 | Wednesday at 11:04 am | 69 CommentsToday is Sarah’s birthday. Rejoice, O Internetlandia!
So, the first time I wished her Happy Birthday on this site, I told her she was my favorite Hebe.
The second time, I inundated her with animated GIFs of birthday cakes. Also, a dancing Elvis.
This year, I wanted to do something REALLY special. Something that showed her how much I appreciated all that she’s done for the website, and what a stellar partner-in-crime she is.
So I decided to Photoshop really stupid catchphrases on romance novel covers as a website birthday gift.
Happy birthday, Sarah, and hope you enjoy the LOLHUNKS.
And a few Really Not Work Safe selections below the fold, folks:
Those of you who feel like firing up the ole Photoshop and creating a LOLHUNK tribute to Sarah today, please feel free to do so and post the results in the comments. Terrible poetry parodies and profane greetings are, as always, very welcome.
Sarah, you’re the bestest, and may your birthday be as awesome as you are.
Filed: News
Jaynie R said on 06.13.07 at 11:24 AM • [comment link]
damn I just choked on my pepsi - they are very good.
Happy birthday Sarah - hope it’s a fabulous one with lots of sex and cake.
iffygenia said on 06.13.07 at 11:34 AM • [comment link]
whoo! happy birthday Sarah! Has any girl ever had a better present?!
Thanks Candy, that woke me up like awesome.
EFG said on 06.13.07 at 11:43 AM • [comment link]
Happy birthday, Sarah!!
Teddypig said on 06.13.07 at 12:38 PM • [comment link]
Oh my my my my my
Happy Birthday!
Nanna said on 06.13.07 at 01:02 PM • [comment link]
Awesome! Happy birthday Sarah!
December Quinn/Stacia Kane said on 06.13.07 at 01:43 PM • [comment link]
I just scared my toddler by bursting into laughter.
Happy birthday Sarah!
ellbogen said on 06.13.07 at 01:48 PM • [comment link]
Can I just say how much I love this site? I work in academia and don’t have time to read stuff like romance novels, in the same sense that I don’t watch many schlocky entertainment news magazines, (most) reality shows, or talk shows… It’s not that I don’t appreciate these things, and I certainly don’t look down on anybody who consumes them. Far from it…
So, like Talk Soup and The Best Week Ever, this site gives me the scoop on the best of the bad with a helping of witty, hilarious commentary. I don’t have time to wade through the actual material, and I don’t think I’m nearly as witty as you ladies anyway… so this site is a real time-saver and an inspiration.
jennifer echols said on 06.13.07 at 01:56 PM • [comment link]
Happy b-day SB Sarah! Wishing that hubby will take Freebird to the park so you can take a nap.
taybug said on 06.13.07 at 02:06 PM • [comment link]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH!!!!
And to both of you…thanks for making a year in Iraq go by so much radder, snarkier and hilariouser than I ever could have imagined!!!!
SB Sarah said on 06.13.07 at 02:10 PM • [comment link]
Oh my gosh, I am crying I’m laughing so hard. Good thing I didn’t put on mascara this morning. Thank you, Candy! You rock way too hard.
And man, LOLHunks. I don’t think I can handle it. It’s just too much awesome in one place.
AnimeJune said on 06.13.07 at 02:48 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah!
The “Shhh…I think it’s talking” really got me.
And a birthday without mention of “surprise buttsecks!” is like a day without sunshine!
shuzluva said on 06.13.07 at 02:51 PM • [comment link]
Nothing says happy birthday like Surprise! Buttsecks.
Many happy returns Sarah!
Chris said on 06.13.07 at 03:02 PM • [comment link]
Oh my eyes!!!
I am very afraid of “Aha! It goes there”‘s package. It looks like he’s smuggling a small alien that might jump out and attach itself to buddy’s face. Err… that didn’t sound quite right!
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
Verification Word: getting67. Hope you’re getting some for your b-day!
Darlene Marshall said on 06.13.07 at 03:03 PM • [comment link]
LOLHunks = instant classic. What a birthday gift! Many happy returns, Sarah!
Jenyfer Matthews said on 06.13.07 at 03:20 PM • [comment link]
Who can compete with “titty has flavor” ??
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
Alesia Holliday said on 06.13.07 at 03:28 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday, Sarah!! I hope it’s a great one!
Sarah Frantz said on 06.13.07 at 03:35 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday, Oh Sarah of the well-spelled name! Hope you have many more and that your birthday is inundated with man-titty of the eminently edible variety!
MamaNice said on 06.13.07 at 03:46 PM • [comment link]
Have an awesome birthday SB Sarah, and may the packages you open be far less disturbing than Victor Volleyballs there.
Thanks Candy, the best presents are ones we get to share!
On a side note - are you still gay when the man has that much booby? (I heard this in my head in the Alanis version). Here’s the link, in case you have been living in the invisible whorehouse for a fe months. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g
Diane said on 06.13.07 at 03:52 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah - I hope your birthday is smart-bitchin-fabulous!
Sandra D said on 06.13.07 at 03:59 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday Sarah!
It was the NOM NOM NOM that did me in.
Marissa said on 06.13.07 at 04:23 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
LOL hunks make any day start out on the right note, don’t they…
I was keeping it together pretty well until the “this is relevant to my interests” guy.
Jepad said on 06.13.07 at 04:25 PM • [comment link]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH!!!
And thank god I have an eyewash station at work…
Catherine J. said on 06.13.07 at 04:34 PM • [comment link]
Many happy returns to Smart Bitch Sarah!
And “Rapes Tiem Now Pleez” had me choking on my cold refreshing beverage. *bookmarks*
Emily said on 06.13.07 at 04:35 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday! May there be titty-shaped cake and sparklers!
Najida said on 06.13.07 at 04:43 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah!
And may you have lots of surprise whatevers that you like!
(I’m going back to review a few myself :) )
Sherry Thomas said on 06.13.07 at 05:12 PM • [comment link]
So many gifts, only one explicit mention of buttsecks. I think Candy is mellowing with age.
Come on, Bitches. More buttsecks. You know that’s what we are here for. :-)
Sherry Thomas said on 06.13.07 at 05:14 PM • [comment link]
P.S. Happy b-day, SB Sarah. Many happy returns—may you be older than the Ten Commandments someday. :-)
Kerry Allen said on 06.13.07 at 05:23 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday, SB Sarah! I’m sure The Hoff is thinking of you!
“Surprise! Buttsecks” frightens me. I’ll have to look at it later on a better monitor, because all I can see are glowing kitty eyes and a disembodied Barbie doll arm. And feathers? My gawd.
As for “Shhh… I think it’s talking”... What got cropped out of that picture? The only way I can figure that position with all that rapturous enjoyment going on is if there’s another person involved down below. And maybe a goat.
Nathalie said on 06.13.07 at 05:32 PM • [comment link]
Bonne fête Sarah la garce fûtée!!
SandyO said on 06.13.07 at 05:43 PM • [comment link]
Happiest of Birthdays Sarah! Hope you have a wonderful day.
And thanks to Candy for sharing Sarah’s gift with the rest of us Bitches.
But now I have one question. What flavor is man titty?
dl said on 06.13.07 at 05:45 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday SB Sarah!
KristenMary said on 06.13.07 at 05:49 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah! Many returns of the day to one of the smartest bitches around.
What better present than LOL Hunks than maybe getting a well deserved nap and some ice cream?
Bella said on 06.13.07 at 05:52 PM • [comment link]
SandyO: tastes like chicken
Kerry: A goat? lol. i was doing pretty good until i read that one.
SBSarah - Meny Hapy Returns - I’d give you an embroidered pillow, if I had one. :)
My favorite is the “Shh, I think it’s talking” one! lol
Marta Acosta said on 06.13.07 at 06:14 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
On the day that you were born,
The angels got together and decided to create a bitch so smart
That they sprinkled snarkness in her brains
and sarcasm on all her girly parts….
...
Wishing you many, many more years filled with mantitty and laughter.
spinsterwitch said on 06.13.07 at 06:25 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Arethusa said on 06.13.07 at 06:48 PM • [comment link]
May this day be your best birthday ever! And I think these LOLhunk pictures are an awesome start. I’m liking the visible and invisible whorehouses.
SB Sarah said on 06.13.07 at 07:04 PM • [comment link]
Thank you thank you thank you!
I am STILL laughing at “My Herpes: let me show you them.”
Stephanie said on 06.13.07 at 07:25 PM • [comment link]
Many happy returns of the day, Sarah!
Danielle said on 06.13.07 at 07:44 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday, petite salope Sarah!
The smirk on Mr. “Relevant to my interests” gets me every time.
Callisto said on 06.13.07 at 07:47 PM • [comment link]
For your birthday, I give you the CAKESECKS!
(Only the finest Not-Safe-for-Work confection would do for a SB birthday.)
Snerk. My word is “growing56.” My word, indeed!
Bella said on 06.13.07 at 07:58 PM • [comment link]
omg, cakesecks guy needs to wash… his nads are growing some serious green fungi. lol
who’m i kidding? i’d still eat it ;)
Jules Jones said on 06.13.07 at 08:04 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday Sarah, and thank you for sharing your presents with us. :-)
Minx said on 06.13.07 at 08:48 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday Sarah!
Oh and “Surprise Buttsecks” made my day. I just wish MY friends would give me seriously deluded covers featuring horny animals raping Manly men for my birthday.
God, Sarah, you are one lucky bitch.
Helen M said on 06.13.07 at 08:54 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah!
Hx
Najida said on 06.13.07 at 08:56 PM • [comment link]
Birthday Humps
Larissa Ione said on 06.13.07 at 08:56 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday, Sarah!
nina armstrong said on 06.13.07 at 09:12 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah!
Sandra Schwab said on 06.13.07 at 09:15 PM • [comment link]
Happy birthday from across the big pond, Sarah! I hope you’re having a fantastiggerish day (preferably with lots of cake) (perhaps even Entemann’s Chocolate Fudge Cake? Oh yum!)!
Cara said on 06.13.07 at 09:19 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah!
Ya’ll are the best Man Titty Book Cover Hookers on the net. Thank you!
Katie Dickson said on 06.13.07 at 10:08 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
It was the “Penis goes where?” that frightened my neighbors.
MaryKate said on 06.13.07 at 10:16 PM • [comment link]
Have a terrific one, Sarah!
Happy Birthday!
Catherine J. said on 06.14.07 at 12:10 AM • [comment link]
SandyO: What flavor is man-titty? Beefcake, of course.
Jess said on 06.14.07 at 12:31 AM • [comment link]
Happy birthday, Sarah! I hope it’s been a good one.
Josie said on 06.14.07 at 01:46 AM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah! Hope you’re having a fabulous day and are being suitably spoilt.
‘This is relevant to my interests’ has just made my day… Candy, you crack me up.
karibelle said on 06.14.07 at 03:09 AM • [comment link]
It was “Penis Goes Where?!!” and then “Aha, Penis Goes There!” that made me gigglesnort so hard that my children came running in to see what was so funny and I had to hide the screen really fast. Now they think Mom has lost it completely, but it was worth it!
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
Katidid said on 06.14.07 at 05:11 AM • [comment link]
Happy Happy Birthday! “Shh I think it’s talking” is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. Kudos all round!
Candy said on 06.14.07 at 06:05 AM • [comment link]
I forgot to make this one last night. Consider it a last-minute gift to ALL OF YOU.
MT said on 06.14.07 at 07:07 AM • [comment link]
Hi, I’ve been gone for a month. Where did these catch phrases come from? Other than the deepest recesses of the grammatical abyss, I mean.
Happy birthday an hour too late!
Cori said on 06.14.07 at 07:55 AM • [comment link]
Happy birthday, Sarah! And here is my gift to you, though I do not know how to embed the picture in the comments. My HTML is the fail.
Another LOLhunk
Melanie said on 06.14.07 at 11:10 AM • [comment link]
Happy Belated Birthday Sarah!!! I hope U have lots more years of bitchiness and snarkitude ahead ;-)
U Rock, I luurve this site
Bella said on 06.14.07 at 05:46 PM • [comment link]
who’s Newklear? Did he enjoy it?
Kaite said on 06.14.07 at 06:04 PM • [comment link]
Many happy returns!
I almost wrote out the old Chi-Chi’s birthday song (actually, they sing it at every faux-Mexican restaurant I’ve ever been to,) but then thought better of it. :-)
sara said on 06.14.07 at 06:38 PM • [comment link]
Happy belated birthday, Sarah. And Candy, thanks ever so for the VISIBLE WHOREHOUSE. I am still snorting with glee.
Sallyacious said on 06.14.07 at 09:59 PM • [comment link]
Happy Birthday Sarah! A day late but no less genuine and heartfelt for that.
Jeri said on 06.15.07 at 12:15 AM • [comment link]
MT, the catchphrases come from I Can Has Cheezburger?
Wiki, as always, has an explanation.
And now, with apologies for my slapdash PhotoShop, I present—or rather, Harlequin Presents:
Happy birthday, Sarah!
MamaNice said on 06.15.07 at 04:34 AM • [comment link]
On the whole “ICHC” line, any of you bithces been to visit this site?
http://www.engrish.com/
It even has a special section for ChinkBitches like Candy (I use all these terms with lurve):
http://www.engrish.com/category_index.php?category=CHINGLISH
Enjoy!
My vw is “simple34” because, let’s face it simple humor like this is aawsssum.
MamaNice said on 06.15.07 at 04:44 AM • [comment link]
Oh, and if you do drop by Engrish, make sure you visit the “adult” section ;)
http://www.engrish.com/category_index.php?category=Adult%20Engrish
Jen C said on 06.15.07 at 04:49 AM • [comment link]
Happy slightly belated birthday! Hope i was as grand as the LOLhunks
Melissa said on 06.15.07 at 06:36 PM • [comment link]
Happy Belated Birthday, SB Sarah!
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