Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

oh i remember this book, heroine has an aunt who said she had hair like that and; the name harcourt keeps popping in my head. you definitely ddn’t make it up though

did i say heroine i meant hero and i think she was called lila or do i mean layla

c’mon, smarties! Help with this one because now I feel that I MUST read it as well -  I LOVE the hugely overdramatic gestures that finally drive some sense into the hero (mostly because I would never be able to execute a biggee like that without someone thinking I should be put away for a couple of days to “rest”).

I MUST have this one too, and moreover, I can’t BELIEVE it’s not one I haven’t read because I’ve been devouring HP for 27 years

word ver so not cool. After35. Yeah, yeah i KNOW how old reading HP for 27 years makes me

I don’t know the book, but the HaBO request was amazing.  Well played, [other] Sarah!

I was born with carrot red hair. I would love to read this book!

This sounds like a Betty Neels book.

following on from Brandy’s comment above, I decided to search through Betty Neels books (never read one myself) for the HaBO. Check out the website below….some of those covers are definitely snark worthy…

http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/n/betty-neels/

Thank you for defending my sanity, Flickers!  I think the heroine’s name was close to Layla or Freya . . . I don’t remember an aunt, but aunts aren’t as dramatic as grand, angsty, gestures—-and if I had a working memory, I’d have retained the title of the book.

Thanks, Darlene! :)

Brandy, I’m not sure it was a Betty Neels . . . I don’t think it had that vibe, if a Betty Neels’ book would admit to having something as explicit as a vibe.  The heroine perhaps wasn’t quite that innocent (though a virgin, of course) and there was a smolder throughout that I’m not sure Neels ever did.  Then again, see memory comment above. . .

Not Betty Neels. Way too much emotion from the hero for a Betty book.

I don’t know the answer but I also want to read it! There are amazingly knowledgeable HP readers over at the Amazon boards as well as at Goodreads, I think. they remember everything and what they can’t remember, they find on their shelves. Seton? Boogenhagen? Willaful?

Is this Loving Julia by Karen Robards?

Based on the angry virgin’s dramatic gesture after being called a slut one too many times by angry boner rich guy, I’d start checking out Diana Palmer’s backlist. Just sayin.

spamword: method66. I’ve read what feels like 66 DP books & I know her method when I see it.

It’s not Julia, though I’m adding that one to my list.  The one I’m looking for is a contemporary, for the time it was published.

Donna, I just went through Diana Palmer’s bibliography from 1979 to the present, but the book I’m remembering isn’t there. 

Drat!  I’m beginning to think it was a hallucination . . .

I must know the title of this book. I love overdramatic gestures and love big fights when heroine walks off. And this one sounds like it’s good.

Oh, I so want to read this one.  I assume it’s not actually an Anne of Green Gables book I missed, though I’m totally imagining it as Anne dealing with a Presents hero in her own inimitable way.

Sorry, have no idea re book title.  But I must say, the phrase “severe rectal-cranial disorder” caused me to laugh so loud that I scared my dog.  Gotta remember that one.

I honestly don’t know what this book is, but it sounds like unholy mash-up of Little Orphan Annie and These Old Shades.

Oh my, I really hope someone knows this one. I have a terrible weakness for the silly “I hate you because I want you” thing.

I haven’t read this but if one does the maff:

HP + redheaded heroine + May/December + H thinks heroine is a Dirty Hoor + childish gestures = one name above all others = Carole Mortimer

I would help narrow it down further but CM has written about 150 HPs with red-haired heroines. Good luck!

Haven’t read this either, but I have a special love for red headed heroines…a bit of vanity there I suppose.

I had to comment because like Susan said, that phrase “severe rectal-cranial disorder”  is a keeper!

Ya know, even Tulsa, OK- often considered the Brass Buckle of the Bible Belt has these at the library both book and audio. FALLOUT has 51 holds, that is 51 different people waiting to read it.

Catch up Texas.

It sounds fantastically OTT. I need to know exactly how much older he is than her; it’s disturbing and annoying me quite a lot. Loving this thread.

I think it may be a Harlequin Romance Special (no. 350) by Jane Donnelly.  It was called Living With Marc, and I remember the heroine cutting her hair because the hero had insinuated it was trampy

This is from Fictiondb

Love thy neighbor?
Things had a way of happening around Robin Johnson. She always seemed to be in the middle of some scrape or another! She could understand why the cool, discerning lawyer Marc Hammond should have reservations about hiring Robin as his great-aunt’s companion. She was hardly the quiet and retiring type—but then neither was his great-aunt!
It looked as if Marc was going to have his hands full with Robin in the house. She was quite simply enough to drive any man to distraction!

This is not the book you’re looking for (no hair cutting scene) but the first book I thought of was The Trustworthy Redhead by Iris Johansen its an old Loveswept it has very similar themes and includes a belly dancing heroine and a pseudo-sheik hero.

Did anyone else notice the Neels’ book titled, The Final Touch?
What IS THAT supposed to mean?

Please, anybody, has @beigy got it right?

This isn’t it, but if you want a luvverly Old Skool Regency with many many similar plot elements, check out Elisabeth Mansfield’s LOVE LESSONS.

I think beigy might have found it!

So much for Layla or Freya . . . but there is an aunt and a haircut, so I’m gonna go for it.  I just requested a copy of Jane Donnelly’s Living With Marc through ILL at my library.

Once it comes in, I’ll post the verdict!

Thanks, everyone!

Neels, Palmer, Donnelly and Johannsen never wrote for the Harlequin Presents line.

I’ll have to think on this a bit, but I’m with Seton— my guess would be something by Carole Mortimer, Margaret Way, Anne Mather, Helen Bianchin or maybe Sara Craven. Or maybe Rachel Lindsay. Or Anne Wier.  Hmn.

Diane :)
around37—yeah, there are around 37 authors it could have been…

I’m ordering a used copy too. Crossing fingers this is it!

definitely not Margaret Way or Helen Bianchin and I’m pretty sure it isn’t Carole Mortimer either. Good luck for Jane Donnelly, I’ll certainly be interested in finding out the authors name.

FYI .. if you know the HQN imprint and the approximate year the book was released then Wikipedia is a fantastic resource. It has a list of the Harlequin books in numerical order and quite a few of the listings have descriptions of the book. Using Wikipedia, I recently found out the title of a Harlequin Temptation book that I have been searching for - all I could remember of the story was that the heroine’s brother had asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She happened to be browsing through a magazine and points to the male model in an ad and says ‘I’d like him…’

Looking at those Betty Neels doctor/nurse romance covers makes me think of the real-life doctor/nurse romances I know about today where she’s the doctor, and he’s the nurse.

According to a wonderful lady at the amazon boards, the Jane Donnelly book is a winner.

I’ve read this book. It’s called Living with Marc by Jane Donnelly.

There were plenty of mixed signals going on in this book. The H had always loved the girl from way back when he saw her at the hospital with her unconscious uncle and she was telling the uncle how much she loved him. He thought then that if she ever said it to him, it would bring him back from the dead. However, he had to force himself to go slowly in his courtship so she would “understand this is the real thing.”

The scene with the hair was memorable. The h went ballistic and hacked her red hair. “Less hair should mean less of a tramp” was how she described it. The H was “poleaxed” of course at the sight but all he could blubber was “Bloody hell” and “I don’t believe it. Are you drunk?” and “Good grief”. The h, on the other hand thought he was going to start laughing at her and left the room. Only later did the H admitted that “it broke [him] up….[He] wanted to stop [her] ever hurting [herself].” He kept the hair as a hairpiece for their future daughter

Off to look for a copy for myself. ;-)

Looking at all those old Betty Neels covers really squicked me out. Why did the man always look to be about 40-ish and the woman 16?
There’s plenty of material there to be snarked, that’s for sure! And those titles ...damn!

@Anonymoose - He kept the hair as a hairpiece for his future daughter? The amazon boards said that? Blech! That’s just all sorts of f$%ked up!

“he kept it as a hair piece for their future daughter”

Does anyone else find that hilarious? “Hey Daughter, here’s a wig of Mommy’s hair that she cut off in a crazy fit when I called her a whore. Wear it proudly.”

@Jeannie - The query was posted on the amazon boards, and the keeping the hair thing was part of the description given by a lady who remembered reading the book. 

Keeping the hair for their daughter is definitely on the WTF? side; I mean, what if they don’t have any girls?  Are they gonna pin the whore-hair on a son?

spamword - house39; why yes, I would like Dr House 39 times… or more

Off-topic, but…  “hero” as “the H” and “heroine” as “the h”?! Seriously?!
Grrrrrr.
Is that a common abbreviation on Amazon romance boards?

hehe… whore-hair.  Well it made me laugh.

Redcrow, I didn’t even notice that!

Right. I’ve ordered it, sucker that I am. Hope it’s not total dross.

When I read this habo, I remember thinking, nah I’ve read some whack historicals with crazy big misunderstandings involving dresses, letters and fake assignations, but slutty hair???

And then I realised it was a modern. Or 1996 anyway.  And then I felt faintly ill.

@ redcrow
I have no idea, but good catch and lord how horrifying.  I’m not sure which is worse!

Vixenbib:

It may well be dross, but as I recall, it’s fine, harlot hair-colored dross . . . I hope.

Oh, slutty hair. And groveling. Love it.
Off to hunt this book. I miss melodrama in my romance novels!

As I read this I kept thinking it sounded familiar, so I went to my Goodreads read list and what do you know I was thinking of a book with such a similar title and theme called “Living with Adam”  by Anne Mather back in the 70’s but re-released in 1997, right along with “Living with Marc” by Jane Donnelly.  Maybe they were part of a series. 

I figured those of you who liked the sound of search might want to look up this book also.

Thank you so much shellbell for posting about the Harlequin Wikipedia! I have been tempted a few times to write into SB about a book I read back in the 80’s. All I could remember was a statue on the cover and a tropical location. However, I was pretty sure it was a Harlequin Silhouette Desire (the red cover) and it might have something about gold in the title. I checked it out from the library umpteen times because I liked the story and I remember it being “hot” (as a teenager LOL). I found it!  It’s Golden Goddess by Stephanie James (who is apparently Jayne Ann Krenz as well).

My copy was despatched from Amazon yesterday. Hoping it will arrive early next week.

I’m pretty sure it’s going to have me alternating between
i) squirming in my seat (well-written, passionate, hoarse-voiced heroes can do that to me - but I’m also afraid that the squirming might well be in response to the ickiness of the age gap) and
ii) laughing out loud at its sheer, old-fashioned nonsense!

I’ll let you know what I think, Sarah W!

Mine did, too, Vixenbib!

As I recall the story was awash in pathos and probably emotional abuse, so I hope you’re a fan . . . :)

Ok Sarah W! This is my take on “Living With Marc”.

I read this in one sitting - maybe should have given it more time. It started off well for me -  Jane Donnelly has a light touch and doesn’t over-write her characters’ motivation which, initially, I appreciated (e.g. she doesn’t use the device of repeating everything from each character’s POV, which, in the wrong hands, can become very tedious, IMO). It was pretty old-fashioned in tone, which I expected from your HaBO - but I was surprised to see that it was published as late as 1996. Anyway. I liked the feistiness of heroine, Robin, and the growing acknowledgement of her attraction to hero, Marc - the relationship didn’t feel as disturbingly unequal as I’d feared it might. I felt it was all going fine, albeit quite tamely and blandly and humourlessly - there was absolutely no “squirming” on my part, for any reason whatever, I’m sorry to say. About 3/4 of the way through,  I felt the writer began rushing towards a conclusion, as if she were running out of time in an exam. I was disappointed with the last few chapters. I felt, ultimately, that the hero was underdeveloped; I had hardly any idea of how he really felt about anything until virtually the last page. Yes, he’d been pretty cross throughout - but really, only as cross as a cardboard cut-out can get. I like my old-school heroes to emote a bit more than this one did. I found the haircutting scene much more exciting and melodramatic when you wrote about it, Sarah W, in your HaBO!

I’d give it a C- for effort and a D- for impact. Having said that, this thread has been great fun!

P.S. My two teenage daughters groaned when I opened the parcel from Amazon and they saw it was a Mills and Boon! In order to re-gain my credibility with them, I had to explain that someone on SmartBitches had started a conversation about it. Go Bitches!

And now I’m feeling guilty that I may have ‘dissed’ something you’ve been treasuring, Sarah W! I’m really sorry if I’ve trampled your garden.

Heavens, no, Vixenbib!  I think you’ve got some valid points.  And you liked my version better, too, so what’s to argue? :D

This book is different than I’d remembered, but I’d only retained the basics—-I’d completely forgotten about the Evil Aunt, the Weak Brother (meh), and the (flimsy) reason the hero thought the Heroine (capitalized just for redcrow!) was a dirty hoor (TM).

At least the hero is a judgemental butthead and the Heroine is finally fed up with being labeled a tramp because of the way she looks.  And she does chop off her hair!

I wasn’t expecting the depth of a longer story, so I wasn’t disappointed.  It’s a nice little story, as far as it goes.  And now I won’t be laying awake at night trying to remember the title and author!

So thanks again to everyone who helped me!  If you read it, let Vixenbib and I know what you think!

Sorry, Vixenbib and me.  Sheesh . . . there goes the grammar . . .

Sarah W, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with your comment about expectations. I’ve read a zillion M&B novels in the past (really, they should call most of them ‘novellas’) and enjoyed many of them.  I no longer choose to read them - too flimsy for my current tastes.  Living with Marc is actually an OK example of what M&B has to offer; the writing was fine, it just didn’t excite me in any way at all.  I’m not really au fait with the myriad sub-groupings of the Romance publishing world, but if I really have to read M&B, I’d rather read something torrid and OTT: “The Embitttered Spanish Viscount and His Ex-Sister-in-Law’s Nanny”, for example ;-)

Hi,
I have had pillar box red hair for 4 months now i want a change and want white blonde hair, my hairdresser friend bleached my hair and my roots went white but the rest of my hair turned candy floss pink, i have dyed it light brown but it is still pink underneath, anyone have any ideas how i can get it out?