Bitchin' Blog Posts
HaBO: “A Steaming Pile of Poo”
This HaBO request from Rosemary nearly made me spit out my coffee. Help this poor woman out, while I go get more coffee?
Here’s what I remember.
1. She’s a librarian taking a booze-cruise sort of thing when the boat ends up being shipwrecked on a deserted island.
2. He’s a SEAL or Green Beret or some crap like that.
3. She’s a virgin (of course).
4. He chases her through the jungle and is about to throw her down and rape her (cuz she’s beeeeeyyyoootiful) when she gets her period and he realizes that it freaks her out to lose her virginity on her period, so he backs off. (But the author makes a point to say that he’s down with riding the tide.)
5. He takes her to the grotto (with the waterfall) and cleans her up as a way to say “sorry for the attempted rape,” but also tells her, “As soon as the crimson wave passes, I’m banging you.”
6. To continue being nice to her he makes her a comb out of a shell of some sort and combs out her hair, but whenever he reaches a tangle, he just pulls out his big knife and cuts the knot off.
7. He makes some sort of nature-pad out of moss (after making her some new panties out of leaves or some plant debris because he TORE OFF THE OTHER ONES.)
8. Pulling out works for them as a form of birth control.
9. They’re eventually rescued and she goes back to the library, and he finds her and her crazy looking hair in the stacks one day and blah blah blah, HEA.
(All dialog was paraphrased by me.)
The book came out in ‘89-’92 since I remember reading it in World History junior year of high school, and it had a purple cover. It was the second romance novel I ever read, and tainted me against contemporary novels for the rest of my life. I apparently have pretty severe masochistic tendencies since I want to reread this steaming pile of poo. Can anyone help me out?
Rosemary: there are so many good contemporary romances, many which do not feature shipwrecked menstruating librarians being chased through the underbrush.