Bitchin' Blog Posts
Grace Before Meat
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | May 21, 2009 | Thursday at 3:44 pm | 22 CommentsDenise sent me the following link, which has put me on a full-on high-speed ponder-fit: a slideshow of Mills and Boon covers. I knew I’d seen this before - I wrote about it in December - but now that I’m looking at the cover for Grace Before Meat by Sara Seale, I have to wonder: what is the proper grace before meat?
Certainly this is a question that needs to be addressed as part of the formation of Inspirational Erotica as a subgenre in romance (tagline: Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!). What is the proper grace before meat? “Bless this wang to our use and loving service?” “We thank you for the gift of schlong… through it we grow closer to one another?” “Blessed are you who hallowed us with the mighty thunderstick?” “Holy holy holy manmeat?”
This will keep me entertained for hours.
Filed: General Bitching, The Link-O-Lator
Tagged: make the burning stop
Sarah W said on 05.21.09 at 04:29 PM • [link]
This one circulated when I was in junior high:
“Hail Mary, full of grace, bless my boyfriend’s foxy face . . .”
I don’t remember any more, but that’s probably for the best.
Marski said on 05.21.09 at 04:32 PM • [link]
Hail Mary full of grace, bless my boyfriend’s darling face. Bless his hands so big and strong and make them stay where they belong. Amen
Sarah W said on 05.21.09 at 04:37 PM • [link]
Amazing wang—-the sturm und drang
That made a wreck of me!
My life was tame
But then I came
Was dry—-
But now I squee. . .
Sarah W said on 05.21.09 at 04:38 PM • [link]
Thanks Marski!
Hmmm—-you could interpret that last phrase whichever way you liked.
lustyreader said on 05.21.09 at 04:49 PM • [link]
Give us this day our daily meat
For the meat I am about to receive may the Lord make me truley grateful
Rub a dub dub, I like my meat in the tub. Thanks for the grub!
The wang is good to me
and so I thank the wang
for giving me the things I need
the meat and the climax and the hot man seed.
Oh the wang is good to me!
Iasmin said on 05.21.09 at 05:48 PM • [link]
Must remember not to read SB comments with coffee in hand…
Jessa Slade said on 05.21.09 at 06:23 PM • [link]
I was going to suggest something a tad more Song of Solomon-esque, but beverage out nose is good too.
terri said on 05.21.09 at 06:36 PM • [link]
Blessed be the meat
Kismet said on 05.21.09 at 06:51 PM • [link]
Holy, holy, holy wang, thrust of power and might. Mouth and hand so full of your glory.
Joanne F said on 05.21.09 at 07:31 PM • [link]
Meat is great.
Meat is good.
I thank you for my daily shtup!
BTW, I love the next cover in the gallery just as much as “Grace.” It’s “Romance Goes Tenting.” The mind boggles at the “tenting” visuals.
Kimberly J said on 05.21.09 at 09:31 PM • [link]
Is it just me, or do the people on the Grace Before Meat cover have goat legs? His knee is definitely in the wrong place.
Chloe Harris (noelle) said on 05.21.09 at 10:05 PM • [link]
You should consult the people that run the Christain sex toy site. They might have some good ideas.
(I wish I could remember the name of the site, It’s a bible verse number I think)
Joanna S. said on 05.21.09 at 11:02 PM • [link]
A Christian sex toy site?!! Do they sell items to pleasure both your Genesis and your Exodus?
Amy Nichols said on 05.21.09 at 11:20 PM • [link]
OMG. This is what I get for surfing during computer class! ROFLMAO! Thanks for the giggle.
amy
Chloe Harris (Noelle) said on 05.21.09 at 11:57 PM • [link]
Yes in fact they do! And I remembered the site It’s book22.com
I found their “What’s Okay? What’s Not?” page completely fascinating.
http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/sexuality/splay/whatisokay.shtml
Joanna S. said on 05.22.09 at 01:44 AM • [link]
Chloe -
You are my hero…my jeebus (if you will)! I was so amazed by the detail of the “What’s Okay? What’s Not?” page, especially when discussing whether or not dirty talk during the fiznuckin’ is a damnable offense. What is better than:
*snarffle*
Rebecca said on 05.22.09 at 02:01 AM • [link]
I think Grace is the woman and Meat is the man behind her.
Julianna said on 05.22.09 at 09:09 PM • [link]
That M&B slideshow was hysterical. I mean, we joke about these titles, but I don’t think I could make up “Virgin for the Billionaire’s Taking” or “Innocent Wife, Baby of Shame”. Oh, and hon, if you want to look like an innocent wife, avoid red satin dresses slit most of the way to your armpit.
kinseyholley said on 05.23.09 at 02:30 AM • [link]
A friend of mine is involved with a new site for Christian erotica. I can’t remember the URL - it wasn’t intuitive. She invited me to contribute a story. And you know what? I just might.
The cover titles are almost as much fun as the artwork. I like Romance Goes Tenting.
The 70s one - Beware the Beast - I should say so. Ick. It’s from 1981, but that’s totally 70s hair, clothes, feel. I have a reflexive abhorrence of all things 70s ‘cept, in certain cases, movies and music.
My spamword is attack73 but I can’t think of anything clever right now.
sandra said on 05.23.09 at 04:49 PM • [link]
Except for the first few, these are NOT the same M&B covers you looked at in December: where’s JUNGLE LOVE ? DIE WITH ME LADY? etc. Spamword various33: various covers are the same, but not all 33.
sandra said on 05.23.09 at 04:55 PM • [link]
The woman on the cover of INNOCENT WIFE, BABY OF SHAME is obviously pregant, which is an unusually realistis touch. Spamword (and no, i’m not joking) is two69: no comment necessary.
Alex Ess said on 05.25.09 at 06:09 AM • [link]
Okay, so, I went to that “What’s Okay? What’s Not?” page and under the heading “Oral Sex” it says:
“[...]many scholars of the Song of Songs are convinced that several passages describe oral sex being performed on both the man and the woman. (SS 2:3, the woman preforming oral sex on the man, and SS 4:16 and possibly 8:2 for the man doing it to the woman).”
Now when I read that I thought “I’ve got to find my Bible, because I’ve got to look up these passages and figure out how I missed multiple oral sex references in the Song of Solomon because I’ve read the Song of Songs and I don’t remember that.
Song of Solomon 2:3, in the King James version reads:
“As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”
Um, I’m not really seeing it…“I sat down under his shadow?”...well, maybe…
Song of Solomon 4:16 goes:
“Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden,that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.”
I dunno. Well…Okay, yeah, I might be able to masturbate to that if I really tried.
Song of Solomon 8:2, King James version goes:
“I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother’s house,who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.”
...
“Juice of my pomegranate?” I’ve never heard it called that before. “...bring you to my mama’s house, who would instruct me”...That’s a little freaky. I don’t think I could masturbate to that thought, no.
did98
Not all at once, ya freak.
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