Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Kick ass, Candy!

Can I just say this? I FUCKING HATE THE ANALYTICAL REASONING SECTION. Musicians T, U, V, W and X can take their harps, mandolins, oboes and pianos and shove ‘em where the sun don’t shine, as well as the four symphonies they have to play on consecutive days during a music festival.

Am just sayin’.

But thank you muchly for the kind thoughts.

Good luck Candy. I’m sure you’ll be fine. :)

Amira

Best of luck, Candy. Am sure you’ll kick LSAT butt into twin firmly-muscled globes of steel.

Not that I think you’ll need it, but I’m initiating one of those transatlantic brain cell transfers now. All wiped clean of thoughts of man titty, too. Feel free to use, abuse or discard.

Just remember to breath and the rest will come. 

Lotsa Luck.

Good luck, Candy!  I’ll be taking it, too.  (I’m doing the web catch-up while eating my lucky oatmeal, must leave for the test shortly.)

Candy, if my dear husband could ace the LSAT I have total confidence you will be able to ace the LSAT.  You’re going to be one kick-ass bitch lawyer!

PS—my husband’s also former president of his FAWL (Florida Association for Women Lawyers) chapter.  They voted him their “most upstanding male member”.

*sending positive thoughts Candy’s way*

Thinking all sorts of Law type thoughts. Mmm Richard Gere in Primal Fear. Mmmm Gregory Peck in To Kill A Mockingbird. Mmm Johnny Cochrane…ACK! NO! STOP THE MADNESS!

It would be much more palatable if the questions centered on mantitty, wouldn’t it?, said SBSarah

They do! Look what I found in the “Romance Lovers Complete Guide to the LSAT”. A sample question:

Five be-mantittied hunks: Fabio, Dirk, Thor, Conan and Cyril are scheduled to pose on seven romance novel covers in a variety of seductive outfits.

The wardrobe mistress has brought the following items: two pairs leather chaps (one buff and one black), one pair tight jeans, one extra-short kilt (blue and red tartan with matching sporran), one pair breeches, one pair hose, two bejewelled codpieces, three billowy white muslin shirts, one fringed leather vest, one blue velvet doublet, two capes, two regency-style jackets and clip-on “waterfall” cravats, four claymores, three six-shooters, one knobby staff, one rifle, seven pairs of knee-high boots (six black, one brown), two glossy black mullet wigs, four bouffant brown mulleted wigs, one fake moustache and dye, six cowboy hats, one mossy boulder, one fake stallion, three bearskin rugs, beading, a floral bower, one set vampire teeth, three gallons of “Fake Bake” and a crate of baby oil. Conan has borrowed his housemate’s warpaint and a tomohawk.

Two of the novels are set in civilizations a bit like Ancient Rome but where the women wore breeches and the men wore tight-fitting short black togas over leather “poser pouch” trousers.

Fabio is channeling his inner Roy Rogers and will only wear chaps.
Conan and Dirk refuse to wear clashing colours or fabric cut against the bias.
Thor’s “extra-large” manhood requires accomodation after a recent operation has left it somewhat tender.
Cyril has developed an unsightly rash after waxing with non-hypo-allergenic products.

If Dirk has schemed with the cover artist to replace his most hated rival with the badly photoshopped head of Pee Wee Herman on the body of a multi-limbed contortionist poser model with grey skin, which man-titty will shortly be appearing on the cover of “The Tenderly Savage Rake and his Ruin”?

No way, EAP; even the mantitty cannot neutralize the horror that was the “analytic reasoning” sections.  I’m known to have passing analytic abilities, and my brain just does not naturally work that way (I actually don’t have very good spatial intelligence, either). 

The only moment from the test I remember fondly is the question in which the testers were trying to get me to screw up the difference between ‘infer’ and ‘imply’—aha, I thought to myself, you will not get me on that one.  I also liked the questions where they *expected* you to misunderstand a word or a concept.  I like being able to outsmart the test like that.  But for the most part, the test still wins, no matter how sneaky Dirk and his Pee Wee Herman photoshopped head are, because, after all you still *have* to take it - and PAY to do so, even.

Candy, you’re gonna be fine.  Just remember that the test is not the end all be all in terms of law school admissions, even for a top tier school.  If you used that Powerscore book for the reasoning questions, you should do fine on those.  You will soon look back on this as a mere blip in your whole law school experience, and once it’s over, you can focus on your application.  Most law schools like students who have been out of school for a while, especially if you can get a couple of cracklin’ good recommendation letters.  And I think the personal esssay really counts, too, and I’m sure you’ll shine there.  In any case, pick a law school with a compassionate approach to education; I did not do that (I applied to one school without even visiting), and while I know I’m getting a first class education in the law, the ethos of some of the top law schools is very very ugly.  What keeps me going (besides the ridiculous amount in student loans I will soon have to pay back) is the quality of teaching in my program—it’s very high.  This is not something many prospective law students focus on, but IMO it’s the critical difference between actually *learning* about the law and having to teach yourself through your casebook and outlines.

Good luck, Candy!  Sample something long, tall and liquid when you’re done.

I’m officially an SRC (Spatial Reasoning Cretin).  I can’t flip so much as a circle in my head.

I think I just wet myself.

*faints*

Hope you did well, Candy!  They are a bitch and a half, but I have confidence in you.  If I could score well and get into law school, anyone can.

Oh gods, help me please. That picture is like horrible additive brain crack. I keep coming back to just staaaare. *weeps* It’s the white lycra and divine expression. That, and the manly shaved armpits of desire. I’m so weak.