Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Perhaps she should toddle on over to the classical literature section and pick up a copy of Pride and Prejudice to assuage her fixation on “trash” and read a real “good” book.  Wait!  Oh, noes!  That’s romance too!!!! 

*head desk* Seriously, are people that hung up on themselves that the truly believe everybody else has nothing better to do than watch them shop for books!?!?!

I’m with Sarah. Get a ladder. Get over yourself. Read Romance and quit be ashamed you’ve actually found something that’s entertaining and that has a happy ending!

Bwahaha, OMG *wipes tears from eyes*. The spaminator strikes again! self69

Someone tell her that no sane hubby will mind this habit of hers.  And show her that survey/study that concludes women who read romances have better love lives.

And maybe we should send her some real erotic stuff to “get off” to, to cure her of her Nora habit.  :-)

Anyone know how to break this habit before hubby comes back?

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

I want to know how everyone who has never read a romance novel somehow
“knows” to call them bodice rippers.  Was there some secret non-romance readers
vocabulary class I missed in school?

Anyway, what this woman needs is self-confidence.  She needs to visit the self
help section of the bookstore before she can enjoy the romance section.

While the crack addict comparison was a nice touch, as well as the impressive bifocal problem, I especially liked the concern on how to break the habit before hubby comes back.

I can picture it now.  He gets to return home earlier than anticipated, and decides to surprise her with the good news in person.  He’s been gone a long while, fighting the good fight, and while it was hard to go on at times, the thought of her faithfully waiting for him gave him the will to keep going.  He quietly lets himself into the house, and heads upstairs to their bedroom, where the light is spilling out from beneath the closed door.  As he slowly walks closer, he hears something that seems a bit amiss.  He bursts open the door to greet his wife that he’s missed for so long, but the “Surprise!” dies in his throat.  To his horror, he sees her there, shame at being caught red-handed all over her face, as he finds her in bed with…a romance novel!  The horror!  How could she betray him like this?!?  Was war not cruel enough???

Seriously.  The shame, oh the shame.

Maybe someone should point out she can read literotica.com from the comfort of her own home without anyone being the wiser, and it’s even free.  Then you don’t have to waste the time reading through all that literary junk food to get to the good parts.  -commencing eye rolling-

Wow.  I left a comment, but she probably won’t see it.

I AM a military spouse, AND I write those “junk food” novels, and wow, it’s nice to see such support amongst us. Grr.

I want to know how everyone who has never read a romance novel somehow
“knows” to call them bodice rippers.  Was there some secret non-romance readers
vocabulary class I missed in school?

Anya, I’d like to know that one myself. Anyone using that term around me gets the *KC-stare-from-Hell* and believe me ( or my kids lol!) it ain’t pretty!

Anyone know how to break this habit before hubby comes back?

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

BWAHAHAHAHA!
Ms. Armintrout FTW!
( off to find rag to clean off my monitor/keyboard!)

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

Moooooooommmmm!  Jennifer made me snort iced tea up my nose!!

I hope to hell that this magazine gives equal space to one of our romance reading or better yet, writing military spouses to counter this bullshit.  Because I know we’ve got plenty of them—smart, self-assured women who are proud of what they read and write and don’t feel a need to denigrate it in order to boost their own self-esteem.

I know at least one romance novelist who literally has a boatload of fans, on board Navy ships. And they’re men.

And OMG, I was howling laughing when I went over there and the banner at the bottom of the comments was a big advertisement for Kresley Cole’s KISS OF A DEMON KING.

If she considers Nora Roberts books about people getting off I think her head might explode if she picked up Lora Leigh.  I think I will suggest that to her on the blog. 

I have zero issues buying romance and especially paranormal romance novels.  My hubby did his military time and every wednesday we go to the book store so I can get another armload of books in this genre.

I find Romance to be far less “same story different book” than the suspense/mystery/thriller genres which seems to be the same book over and over and over.  Bad guy chased by gritty unwashed good guy/gal with a drinking problem or mommy issues who has to experience the horrible darkness of the insane killer’s mind but finds his/her salvation in solving the mystery.  Whatever.  Give me a good ballsy female and a yummy alpha male who argue and fret and get it on monkey style any day of the week.  Hell throw a vamp or shape shifter in there and I am a goner. 

Women need to get over it with regard to romance being some sort of stigma.  I consider myself smarter than the average bear, have a great job, a great marriage and certainly do not need the books to compensate for something missed in the bedroom.  I read romance because I like a happy ending.  I like the banter.  I like the genre period.  I doubt anyone would have the balls to call me on it more than once…i am a tad mouthy about such things.

Can I just ask what is wrong with people? (not that I expect an answer) Who freakin’ cares what you’re buying, lady? I know I don’t stand there in the bookstore worrying about “oh god, what will people THINK???!!???” I buy what I wanna buy, unapologetically. Grow up, is what I have to say to that.

Sorry, got my rant on a bit there.

And Nora, if you see this—I freakin’ LOVE your books, even the old Silhouettes (just scored a couple of those I hadn’t read, actually) and so on. And I’m proud to tell anyone who will listen that I love your stuff.

strong49—why yes, I DO have a strong opinion, how did you know?

God forbid anyone should read books about loving relationships, sexual exploration and happiness, particularly while one’s military spouse is deployed.

Come on now. You know if a book doesn’t make you want to jump off the nearest bridge or cut your wrists with a plastic knife in a fit of emo despair, it isn’t “quality reading”.

JenB:

Same thing holds for movies.  If it isn’t boring the shit out of you and about someone being sexually molested, against the war, or a pair of guy friends who’s pathetic life revolves around Pinot Noir that made me want to open a vein twenty minutes in, it isn’t Oscar Worthy.

Come on now. You know if a book doesn’t make you want to jump off the nearest bridge or cut your wrists with a plastic knife in a fit of emo despair, it isn’t “quality reading”.

Or an Oprah Bookclub Selection.

Oops, that was my out loud voice again, wasn’t it?

If Oprah has it in her Book club that is pretty much going to assure I will not read it.  In fact it is possible I will turn all the copies I see on the shelf around so the cover is obscured.  Petty?  Yeah, I can be that way. :)

Perhaps she should wear a scarlet A upon her breast so that all might know of her shame.

[eyeroll]

Sorry, I just don’t buy the idea that reading books with sex is something shameful that should be kept a dirty little secret.  That’s a sadly Puritanical way of thinking.

Gawd all of web land would hear me squealing if I had 100 bux to spend on books at one time LOL.

I say leave the woman alone, she needs recommendations not recriminations just a few more books and we’ll have her over to the cool side gobbling up romances proudly and defending it to all who will stand still long enough to listen. She’ll have a redface of shame for her former thoughts on romance, a Goodreads page and a blog before you know it.

I knew something wasn’t right as soon as she mentioned “Billy Shakespeare” and immediately followed that with “William Faulkner”. It feels like calling California “Cali” or San Francisco “Frisco”, two things most Californians try to never do?

A hundred dollars to spend on books? Cripes that’s a lot!  I would say she’s hooked already. Once you go “ripper” everything else is a dripper! Oh gawd sorry…more coffee needed.  Her article reads like a Penthouse confession. Lonely military wife, yadda, yadda. And what if she dosent stop reading romance after her Husband comes home? Is she suggesting the thrill she’s found reading romance is far more than she’s known?

Ouch. Let us not be severe upon the poor lost lamb, for she knows not the way. There is much stigma of the romance novel. One has to be comfortable with love and sexuality thus not associating shame with these concepts. Many of us who read romance have known these dark thoughts and may they not come upon us again!

Let us pray that she will discover that romance is a gloriously female genre, and empower herself against the anti-female ideas—anti-human ideas—that whatever is percieved as solely female is somehow shameful or inferior.

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

I’d offer to bear your children if I didn’t already have three of them.

I have an idea that might help the crack lady. She could just give me the money she was about to spend on romance books and that way she can’t afford to buy them and I can.

Seriously, I wish I had this woman’s book buying budget.

WOW.  If she gets this freaked out over buying a book, I can only wonder how traumatic it must be to run out of toilet paper and tampons.  Imagine the horror of having walk through Piggly Wiggly with each and every customer assessing the contents of her cart and realizing that—gasp!—she poops!!

I think the article is kind of hopeful, actually.  A literary snob is testing the waters, timidly venturing out of the serious lap-lanes, and easing her way slowly into the hot tub party of luurve.

So, she’s been a book snob since university at least, and now she’s starting to realize what she’s been missing.  Give her a year or two and she’ll be pimping romances out to everybody she knows, annoying them to no end with exhaustive arguments about how GOOD romances are.

This is pretty cool.  Another one has come over to the pink side.

The comments under her article are great, too, along the lines of:

But guess what, no one cares if you read romance anymore. It’s the biggest selling genre - billions of dollars in market share out there. And it isn’t called bodice ripper trash anymore either. Sorry but all of your self imposed humiliation and shaming was for nothing. And you can ditch the spotlight affect on yourself too, no one cares what you buy in the bookstore. Why be guilty for buying a good book with a happy ever after? Big deal? Sorry but your about 30 years too late in your “like omg I have such a dirty secret” dept.

My verdict:  she’s becoming un-dumb.  (It’s a slow process for some of us.)

Whoa. Is there a word for women who are complete and utter tools? Tool-ette?

You know, I just realized that I’ve never, ever been ashamed of picking and choosing what novels I want to read, no matter where I was purchasing them from. Nor the content.

My reading tastes are all over the board depending on my mood, and while romances reflect the majority of my purchases, I buy and read what strikes my fancy. Even poorly written bios or equally poorly written books based on interviews with serial killers.

None of this brings me shame. Nor does the term “bodice ripper”.

I have however winced a time or two when buying a mag like National Enquirer. But hey, sometimes they follow great scoops that seem fanatical at first, then pan out to have a lot of basis in fact. (Minus some of the totally whacked stories, of course.)

I’m a reader, and I will read what I want. Get over yourselves if you don’t like it.

Jennifer & Barb - Oprah’s endorsement on a book is basically my “Do Not Buy” standard.

And dude…totally right about movies. If your eyes aren’t bleeding, your heart isn’t broken, and your ears aren’t sizzling from 67 instances of the f-word, you can bet it won’t get nominated for the big awards.

God forbid entertainment actually entertain us.

Wait.  So I’m supposed to be mbarrassed to have the same fantasy about the Weasley twins?

I mean, there is a certain amount of shame, but it’s a pretty common thought…

I’m with Suze here; yes, the column invokes romance-stereotyping tropes, but the prose itself is well-written and the humor is essentially self-deprecating rather than genre-deprecating.  The one point I’d mark as worth correcting via comments is the implicit assumption that all romances are “naughty” (i.e. loaded with explicit sex); that’s a generalization that doesn’t hold particularly true.

I also think it may be a mistake to judge this particular column in isolation; if the kind of gentle self-mockery I see in the tone of the prose is a reflection of the author’s regular work for this publication, her regular readers are likely to see the material very differently than are outsiders like us, coming in cold with little background or context.

To Midknyt—- LMAO!—- yes I can see that scenario, I can see it now and it makes me roar with laughter. Thanks for that!

As for Ms Lomax-Larson, I just have a feeling her spouse has other things on his tired mind besides what she’s reading and she probably knows that all too well. Poor thing, I think she was trying to be funny and ended up sounding stupid.

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

LOL!  My keyboard just got a coffee bath.  That comment was seriously funny.

Seriously, I wish I had this woman’s book buying budget.

I know, right?  She should be grateful that she can spend that kind of money on books.  Some people don’t even have enough money for food.

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

Oh, Jennifer, now I have such a girl-crush on you!

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

LMAO

Why be embarrassed by one’s choices?—be it reading material, clothes, whatever.

I mean, I understand a young girl hiding some racy reading material from her mother’s censoring gaze (not that I ever did so *ahem*) but an adult?

Huh.

I feel sorry for her (and I wish that didn’t sound so condescending).  Look, she knows she’s enjoying it, but she’s so worried that someone will think she’s dumb that she has to make all these nervous self-deprecating comments.  And, look, until someone’s read romance - or stopped off here to meet all the smart, sassy ladies - it can be intimidating to associate yourself with something so reviled. 

Look, I read a bunch of stuff.  Do I feel less self-conscious while reading Kafka on the bus than something with a big, pink, sprawly cover and bad wiggly perfect-binding (or lurid science fiction or YA fantasy, which I also adore)?  Yes.  But I’m young, and I figure I’ll grow out of it.  I’m working on it.

As a fellow military spouse who got hooked on romance while hubby was deployed, I can kind of sympathize. Except that I already read romance before he left, and he actually appreciates the fact that I get all turned on by my books and then we can go straight to the fun stuff. Plus, I’m expanding my boundaries with my reading, and it’s making me more comfortable with the idea of expanding my boundaries in real life. I figure as long as I don’t blow the household budget, and just stick to my book budget for purchasing, I’m doing pretty good.

I agree with what everyone has said about how ridiculous this is and I too envy her book buying budget.  She’s spending more per month than I’ll be able to spend all year. 

I think there’s another problem with the article.  Basically it made me think, “way to make your readers feel like crap”.  I guarantee that many readers of Military Spouse Magazine are also romance readers.  Many of them are already dealing with way more than enough difficulty.  Why would someone write such a snobby, ignorant article that’s implies that they’re stupid or doing something wrong and need to stop?  Why pile on “your own” like that?

I, too, am one of those women who own more “trashy paperbacks”  than classics. And I too, am totally ashamed. I’m so ashamed that I buy them in public, read them where others can see me, and talk about them where people can hear me. The shame is dragging me down into a pit of despair and self-loathing.  Yep, there’s nothing quite so trashy as a happy ending. And that “loving couple” thing? Pure smut, obviously.

Okay, turning the sarcasm dial down now…

Seriously, if she’s ashamed of buy Nora, and consideres those to be “bodice rippers” (wait, give me a minute… I just threw up in my mouth a little), then I say we band together, send her some Lora Leigh, maybe some Lorelei James, and definitely Cameron Dane’s The Ultimate Kink… Ms. Prynn… er, I mean Ms. Lomax-Larson be so redfaced from shame her head will likely explode.

And Jennifer- I’m with Darelen. Totally girl-crushing on you.

I’m barely annoyed by this—the poor thing is more brainwashed than brain damaged. We all know that there’s a strong prejudice against the genre and she has clearly been soaking in it.

When she liberates herself from the concept that leisure reading is to impress others rather than personal enjoyment she’ll be a much happier women who sweats the petty stuff a lot less.

You have to feel a little sorry for her since she has the same guilt one would have if they stole from the collection plate. That’s out-sized and takes away from what should be a guilt-free pleasure. A woman who is missing her military spouse should be able to have some “me” time.

Odd how men never worry about people discovering their preferred genres. “What will I do if Eva finds out about my addiction to spy novels? I hope the fake mustache was enough to keep my identity secret from the Borders cashier.”

This woman needs to get a life, fast.  I have never been ashamed of reading romance novels.  It is no one’s business what I read, and I can pretty much guarantee that the workers at Borders don’t give a shit either.  They see so many people throughout the day that your stack of Nora Roberts isn’t going to faze them.  Your husband might be a little PO’d if you keep buying them in $100 shopping sprees.  Darlin you need to learn to ration yourself…but once again I doubt he’ll give a shit.

And if she thinks Nora Roberts is a “bodice ripper” just wait until she moves up to Lora Leigh and Shiloh Walker, but she’s a newbie so it is understandable.

My only advice is: “grow up”.

Well, my second bit of advice is to mark the good parts and get her DH to read them when he’s home on leave.

Seriously, I wish I had this woman’s book buying budget.

Actually, I’m betting *this* is more what she really means about breaking the habit.  How much she’s spending. 

A book-habit this expensive? My bet is that it’s the deployment money flowing out of her wallet.  I do it too - when the husband’s gone, my book buying goes up.  More cash coming in, plus less going out because my general expenses are lower with my husband out of country.  When he comes home?  There’s a short period of withdrawal.  (Unless I’ve sufficiently stocked my TBR pile.)

a pair of guy friends who’s pathetic life revolves around Pinot Noir that made me want to open a vein twenty minutes in, it isn’t Oscar Worthy.

This made me laugh.  Sometimes, I think I’m the only person who found that movie an utter snoozefest.  The only good part was when Sandra Oh beats the crap out of Thomas Hayden Church with her motorcycle helmet.

And yes, Jennifer Armitrout, you win for best comment!  LOLOL!

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

LOL! Absolutely. Give me a freaking break. Serious high five action to Jennifer for a most appropriate comment.

I have to admit I used to be like this woman, I kept my trade-paperback romance novels in 2 banker’s boxes in my closet and if I saw someone else near the romance section of the bookstore I would wait until they left so I could browse.

BUT when I started reading this fabulous website 2 months ago I was immediately infused with pride for my reading preferences and busted those bodice rippers right outta the closet to be proudly displayed two deep on our central bookshelf!

I’m more amused than offended by this.  Seriously, does this woman really think anyone cares what she reads and is judging her on it?  Unless she’s like, ya know, fifteen years old and knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that everyone—everyone!  is looking at her and criticizing her every action.  I agree with Sarah, she needs to get over herself already.  (And send some cash my way, ‘cause she clearly has way more than she needs!)

And thanks to the two readers who posted this:

a pair of guy friends who’s pathetic life revolves around Pinot Noir that made me want to open a vein twenty minutes in, it isn’t Oscar Worthy.

This made me laugh.  Sometimes, I think I’m the only person who found that movie an utter snoozefest.  The only good part was when Sandra Oh beats the crap out of Thomas Hayden Church with her motorcycle helmet.

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thought that movie was an overrated piece of tripe.

I guess you take it one step at a time with people. We got someone reading romance - and obviously loving it. More point for the fact that she obviously holds some influence. I wish she wouldn’t share it with her readership in such a negative manner, but give her a little time and she’ll get more comfortable. It’s almost a victory for us

Of course, I only came to that opinion after talking to my roommate who comes from a long line of military families and reading some of the comments. My first reaction was “WTF is her problem?! GET OVER IT!!”

Sorry, one more note: after reading some of her comments, I get even more hopeful! A lot of the people wrote in the comments section that they’re now inspired to pick up a romance next time they’re out.

Wow!  You guys are being mean!

I was her about six months ago.  I love to read.  I found romance novels in college and was addicted.  But who to talk to?  In all seriousness, until last summer I’d never met another person who didn’t mock romance.  And when there’s that kind of culture around you, it takes a lot to take your trashy book out of its box and wave it around at others all proud of it.

Heck, I found a group of friend who loved the Twilight series and it still took me a while to work up my nerve to recommend some “adult” romance they might enjoy.  Finding this site and others like it where people openly embrace romance novels…  finding that group of friends that will also admit they’re addicted… that made a big difference to me. 

So when I read the clip Sarah copied, my thought was “geez, someone send her a link here and let her know that it’s all ok!”  And it also comes across to me like she’s looking for other people who will admit to being addicted - perhaps without all the “turn in your vagina” stuff.  I mean, good for you all that you have enough self confidence to not care what other people think.  It’s not that easy when you don’t know a single other person who reads romance.

Wait, can you even get dimebags of crack anymore?

Every time someone walked by the romance section I’d either duck or pretend to be looking at the books on tape.

That behavior always made me a little sad.  Working in a library, I see this a lot when teens are in the GLBT area upstairs.  I always want to run after them and shake them and say “It’s okay, I can show you which ones are worth your time!  Don’t be afraid of me, or of Marriage Under Fire—we just have to stock everything!”

Maybe it’s because my father always hid them from me and I had to work to keep them, but I was never ashamed of my romance-reading “habit.”  People at work mock me for it (they also mock me for being an alcohol lightweight and for knitting in bars, so clearly, they just like to mock in general), but that hasn’t stopped me from convincing the catalogers to order more.  Despite my town being hyper-literate, I don’t see a whole lot of literary elitism outside of the indie bookstores.  But there’s music scorn aplenty, though!  Hipsters always know how to make me feel like my iPod isn’t good enough.

What I want to know is, what would she be reading if not romance novels?

Wow!  You guys are being mean!

And dismissing an entire genre by comparing it to drugs is nice, how?  She’s ashamed of her reading choices, that’s sad.  But that she’s playing it for a joke in order to defend her preferences is even worse.  And you know, it would even be one thing if she was a teenager or college-aged, but for heaven’s sake, she’s in her thirties!

She needs to strap on the Big Girl Panties and say, “Wow, I’ve been a snob about this, but look at the fantastic stuff I’ve found to read!”

Instead of potentially forcing other women to feel ashamed of their reading choices, she might have empowered them to say, “Hey, I read it too and by the way, have you read this author?”

Now wouldn’t that have made a marvelous article?

Carin—you have a good point, and we may seem like we’re overreacting, but frankly, I’m tired.  I’ve been reading romance since The Flame and The Flower was first published back in the Dark Ages.  Longer if you throw in books like The Scarlet Pimpernel and Mara, Daughter of the Nile and Katherine and Witch of the Glen and others from my youth.

I’m tired of being laughed at as a romance reader, I’m tired of being laughed at as a romance author.  While most days I just brush it off, some days I’m on my last nerve and someone steps on it.

I’m glad you’re reading romance.  Very, very glad.  I’m vain enough to say I hope you’ll read my novels and find them entertaining.  But this is certainly not the first time we’ve seen “funny” articles like this, and I fear it’s not the last time.  But it would be nice if it was.

Carin said on…

Wow!  You guys are being mean!

I was her about six months ago.  I love to read.  I found romance novels in college and was addicted.  But who to talk to?  In all seriousness, until last summer I’d never met another person who didn’t mock romance.  And when there’s that kind of culture around you, it takes a lot to take your trashy book out of its box and wave it around at others all proud of it.

How about being a leader instead of a follower? How about saying this is what I read and enjoy and I didn’t ask anyone else to pay for it or comment on it?

BARB FERRER: For The WIN!!!

I think alot of people feel guilty when they start out reading romance novels.  It’s probably because we still have the illusion that reading is this high-brow thing, kindof like eating your vegetables- if its painful to eat or to read, then it’s probably good for you.

I started out reading romances in boarding school when most of my fellows didn’t do much reading outside of school.  At the time I felt like I needed to justify my reading habits both to myself and others, but I still kept reading. 

Lucky for me, I had the most awesome aunt.  When Aunt Terry found out that I enjoyed romance novels, she offered up her collection of Nora Roberts books.  She was one of the strongest people I knew- she raised two kind and intelligent daughters on her own, and always had time for everyone who needed someone to help or to listen.  Because of her, I realized that I was in a group with some really amazing company.  Some of my best memories are talking about romance novels with her, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. 

I think we need to embrace people who are starting out reading romance, or who fear it’s bodice ripper-ness and to show them that books that provide hope, joy and laughter are good and powerful things.  Afterall, how many books make people happy and bring them together;  I work in a bookstore and it’s always awesome to see how romance readers bond together like they’ve been friends for years.  It always makes me think, “behold the power of romance!”

Sadly, I have to agree that the snark here is a little misplaced (although I did have a near keyboard catastrophe with my tea at the “turn in your vagina” comment—I am using that one in SO many situations now!).  OK, the article is dumb and irritating, but I feel for the poor woman.  Romance reading IS a bit like crack… not that I’ve tried crack, but don’t we all know that terrible feeling of withdrawal when you emerge from reading The Shadow and the Star or Lord of Scoundrels from the umpteenth time, and start tearing apart your bookshelves for something else to read?  Really, people should be pointing her the way of used bookstores and library book sales, because reading romance at the rate I do, and that she clearly is going to, gets EXPENSIVE if you don’t know where to get your fix on the cheap.

Also, regarding not being ashamed of one’s reading choices… yeah, it would be nice to be such an adult that you don’t care about the huge stigma associated with romance novels… but it took years for me to get there (fortunately I started young).  Like it or not, maybe her “hubby” IS going to give her a hard time… my boyfriend rolls his eyes at my books (though fortunately he has his Star Trek books I can sneer at in return, all in good fun), and the covers DO NOT help our cause! 

Plus, it’s only funny to joke about being embarrassed buying tampons because people DO get embarrassed, and checkers DO give you a hard time.  Don’t even get me *started* on the time that I got up to the RiteAid checkout counter and looked down to find I was carrying toilet paper, condoms, a romance novel, a chocolate bar, and a bottle of cheap wine (the essentials of life, right?).  It may be stupid social pressure, but it’s *real*—when I bring my stack of lurid covers up to the checkout at Borders or wherever, I often DO pray for a female clerk to avoid the smirk I get from the guys.  And often I get a raised eyebrow or a comment from people of either gender.  So I feel like a gentle introduction to the sisterhood is in order, not a snarkfest… yeah, she needs to get over herself, but reading every single In Death book in a five day period will do that for her in no time! =P

Oh boy…this women really belongs to Twits’R'Us.

And if she thinks her husband would get upset about books, she might consider how he’d feel if she had an affair in pursuit of ‘getting off’.

My husband is a librarian and loves the fact that people will read period.  He’s not terribly choosy about what they check out just says, ‘enjoy the books’ and moves on. 

He also routinely looks at my collection, notes an author, asks how they are and occasionally tells his boss maybe the library should put something on the order list.

He’s also great about bringing new releases home.

Here’s my story about being embarrassed about what books I’m buying:

I used to be ashamed to be seen buying or reading erotica.  In my mid-twenties, I had gone to the big city, to the big bookstore, and found a HUGE amount of erotica TREASURE.  Had to buy it, couldn’t get it at home, internet shopping not yet an option.

I brought my big pile of erotica to the counter, and the only free cashier was a hot guy.  Blush.

There was a problem with the machine reading my debit card.  I had to ask him to hold onto the books while I went and got some cash.  And then I was back in about 20 minutes, because I was leaving town the next morning and couldn’t wait for him to go off-shift, and he was the only cashier available AGAIN, so I looked really desperate for my erotica.  Blush some more.

So, I was a little embarrased, but I got books that I wanted and enjoyed, and who cares what anybody else thinks about it?

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

*snort* Exactly!!!

I remember being vaguely embarassed about the romances I bought when I first started reading them.  Though I don’t really remember the why of it now.  I think it was mostly along the lines of what Marie said.

Now, I openly admit to “working for books” at Borders, since much of my meager part-time paycheck gets reinvested.  I am also known as the “Romance Guru” in store. If they have a romance genre question, they ask me because I’ve prolly read it or know someone who has. I came out of the romance reader closet long ago.

And frankly, my hubs thinks he benefits from my reading romance. *wink*  He often reads them with me. Though usually he only asks if I’m at a “good part”. lol

I see a woman who’s never been told it’s okay to read romance.  I feel like she’s coming out the closet.  She thinks there’s something wrong with her, and so she’s preemptively saying, “Look!  I know there’s something wrong with me.” 

That’s sad, but I think she needs a hug and for someone to tell her she’s okay.  I’m reading this and seeing a woman with an enormous self-esteem problem, one that she has because she’s been told all her life that if you read trashy books, you’re a trashy woman—not a Smart Bitch.

Isn’t this exactly the kind of person the Bitchery should be reaching out to, to say, “Hey, you’re not on crack—you’re just a Smart Bitch, and there are a lot of women like you.  There’s this book you should read—it’s called ‘Beyond Heaving Bosoms,’ and it is going to make you feel a lot better about yourself.”

Wait, can you even get dimebags of crack anymore?

HA!

I came to the realization a long time ago that if I tried to hide what I was reading, or if I was too embarrassed to go to a certain section of the bookstore, I would never read anything. I don’t think more highly of someone who only reads the classics, I don’t think any less of someone who only reads genre fiction.  I don’t care what people are reading, as long as they are reading. Yes, even Oprah books… ;-)

Look, she knows she’s enjoying it, but she’s so worried that someone will think she’s dumb that she has to make all these nervous self-deprecating comments.

That’s exactly it.  We are told that romance novels are dumb from an early age and it is enforced by our society.  The teleflora commercial is an example of this.  Just the other day I read a review of a book that had romantical elements and the reviewer said something like “It’s romantic but no means a bodice-ripper.”

This is a deep-rooted problem ladies.

Police93 - And it’s up to us to police the situation.

Before I finish reading the comments….

Jen B, Jennifer, and Barb…you crack me up!  (And you’re so right!)

I used to be embarrassed to pick out romances… but then I was in 8th grade. I would pull them off the grocery store shelf and stuff them into my mom’s grocery cart. She’d check them to make sure they weren’t TOO risque and then pass them off as her own (talk about enabling ;) ). Then I would go home and take a bandanna and make a book cover for my treasure so I could read it in school without having it confiscated.

I was buying them on my own by High School, but kept the trusty bandanna cover around just in case. Once I was no longer concerned about having my reading choices brought before the principle, I tossed out that old bandanna and haven’t looked back. Actually, I love nothing more than reading a great book in a very public place… I DARE you to make a comment to me. Usually it is women who make a “why are you reading That” comment. I make myself calmly list my reasons… and usually by the end of the conversation I have either converted a newbie into trying one, or discovered that they also read romance but are so insecure about themselves that they have to make fun (welcome back to 2nd grade ladies).

Maybe the comment I posted earlier sparked a bit of a debate about “being adult enough” to handle whatever reading choices I make.  And that may well be true.

Back in the very early 80’s, I had no qualms about grabbing a Playboy, or those little books by such publishers with reader “experiences”, very graphic ones for the day.  But I was 19, and real life was way way more graphic than what I read there.

I guess it all depends on your upbringing as to whether you hide from the romance genre, and the increasing focus on sexual encounters, or even the past books that hinted more than realized, such sexual encounters.

And in my small good ole boy town, I’ve found the male population to be much more open to the fact I’m an author, no matter the genre. Odd that. It’s still the women who tut-tut and hide behind the “I don’t read those kind of books”.

I’m trying to get bent out of shape about the romance bashing, but my main feeling is that this person hasn’t read any of the books she supposedly shopped for and claims to be embarrassed about. 

I’m much more annoyed at the idea that she wrote this column because she couldn’t come up with a good topic and that she’s lying about reading romance to her audience for cheap kicks.  Damn, I’ve gotten cynical. :(

Oh, let’s not be too mean. I imagine she feels the way I did when I first figured out I was into girls. It takes time to get over the shock that you like something you never imagined you’d like—especially when it’s something you’ve been taught you shouldn’t like. Sooner or later, she’ll figure out that she has nothing to be ashamed of. I now walk down the street holding hands with my high school sweetheart—whom I was afraid to touch in public back in the bad ol’ days of high school. Literary snobs (I used to be one of those, too!) could use some patience from people like the Smart Bitches if they’re ever going to wade out of the snobbery they’ve been steeped in all their lives.

And on the heels of this column, I get my February newsletter from GoodReads, touting itself as “The Love Issue.”

If only there were a definitive book on the subject of love. Authors have been puzzling over that capricious side of human nature since the beginning of time—with enduring stories about lovers like Layla and Majnun, Antony and Cleopatra, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Cyrano and Roxane, and Scarlett and Rhett. This month Goodreads celebrates love with a list of your favorite books about ardor and devotion. Vote for your most beloved book on the Best Love Stories list! Here are some of the frontrunners on Goodreads.

Gothic Romance: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Hot and Heavy: The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
Laugh Out Loud: The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Stoic Yearning: The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
Sexy Time Traveler: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

Buzzah?  So I follow the link to see the rest of the list and this is what it says at the very top: Groovy.  Now romance is being excluded from lists of great love stories.

I’m trying to get bent out of shape about the romance bashing, but my main feeling is that this person hasn’t read any of the books she supposedly shopped for and claims to be embarrassed about.

I’m much more annoyed at the idea that she wrote this column because she couldn’t come up with a good topic and that she’s lying about reading romance to her audience for cheap kicks.  Damn, I’ve gotten cynical. :(

Actually, if you are cynical then it’s contagious.  Now that I read the article again there are parts of it that do sound weird.  I haven’t been in Borders in a while, so correct if I’m wrong but, isn’t the 5th free if you buy 4th apply to a certain category of books?  Usually is either kids or general. I haven’t seen that special in romance.  I’m I miss-remembering this?  Another thing is the Nora Roberts reference.  Granted, I have only read one Nora Roberts book but she didn’t strike me as a ‘bodice-ripper’ (Ugh, I hate that phrase.) kind of author.  Ugh, maybe I’m reading too much into it, but when reading it again it did sound odd.  So who knows, maybe she did made it all up.

Weirdly, associating Nora Roberts and bodice rippers for the first time, it occurs to me….

Is this why some of her characters rip each other’s shirts off? So they can be bodice rippers?

Hmm….

Shoooot.  I got over being embarrassed at 18 when I bought the first Playgirl magazine.  The cashier at the drug store where I bought it was the pharmacist (i.e. dirty old man) and waggled his eyebrows at me and made a very rude, dirty comment.  I looked him straight in the face & told him it was obvious that he didn’t have the attributes the pinups did.  And besides, would he want someone talking to his daughter that way?

I was the assistant buyer for a very large independant bookstore in St. Louis in the early to mid 90s.  They bragged that they had over 120,000 different titles for your reading pleasure.  But only one four shelf tall bookcase , two sided space for Romance.  It was hidden behind the staircase.  I would complain that I would buy my books from them, if they would let me pick out what to sell.  I convinced the store manager to move the shelves, add another, and faced out the covers.  I ‘recommended’ authors & specific books.  Their sales tripled in the first quarter.  They then got it & started buying more. 

Go figure.

I drifted over to the website and this is what I found:

http://www.milspouse.com/sex-across-the-miles-three.aspx

This writer is telling us to read erotic novels and *gasp* keep our hands busy (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

She might want to read her own magazine/website before calling the pot black.

Now, I’m off to find a Lora Leigh to read.

spamword: plan74, well I’m up for it if he is?

Oh, let’s not be too mean.

Wait, it’s okay for her to bash a whole genre, and profile herself and her column for Valentine’s Day by denigrating women who read romance, but it’s ‘mean’ for us to call her on it?

*headdesk*

try87, I have tried 87 times to understand this attitude, but I just don’t get it…

P.S. Sarah’s comment about the Weasley sandwich fantasy being a problem? Not cool. This blog shouldn’t be one more source of shame for women with “trashy” fantasies.

Who or what exactly is GoodReads?  And is it mean for me to say I’m glad I don’t know and I didn’t get that newsletter?  Cause there isn’t a single romance on there (cause as well all know Gabaldon don’t write them ‘dirty books’).

Well, now I’m getting all bent after all… grin

GC here’s my goodreads page. http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1913735-Rebyj

Wait, it’s okay for her to bash a whole genre, and profile herself and her column for Valentine’s Day by denigrating women who read romance, but it’s ‘mean’ for us to call her on it?

It sounds like her intent was to bash herself, not the genre. Okay, the genre’s getting bashed indirectly—because she’s making herself a part of it. She has some lingering shame, which is unsurprising in our culture. She’ll get over it if she really enjoys the books, and if she doesn’t have too many people getting upset instead of welcoming her to the fold. We should call her on her attitude—but in a compassionate way. If she’s going to be teased by her fellow romance readers on top of the anti-romance teasing she’s already afraid of, she’ll just go back to reading what she considers safe.

Growly, it’s another one of those virtual bookshelf sites where people post what they’re reading/have read/are planning on reading and share recommendations and the like with other readers.  Kind of like a giant “If you liked this title, you might like…” list.

And people also give ratings on the books and reviews (mmm… and let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a one star review on your work calling the plot episodic and the romance not well integrated).

I actually signed up before I knew about the stars and reviews because I kept getting messages from friends who were on there and thinking, “ooh, cool, I can get recs.”  But when I realized about the reviews and starred system, I didn’t go back.  Life’s too short to stress over that and besides, that’s what amazon’s reviews are for.  :-P

However, I still get the newsletter and while I normally just delete it, obviously, the title caught my eye.

*sigh*

The only good part was when Sandra Oh beats the crap out of Thomas Hayden Church with her motorcycle helmet.

Maybe you just don’t live close enough to wine country, LOL! I love that movie. Own it on DVD and frequently watch it. The rant about Merlot—No, if anyone orders Merlot, I’m leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!—is something I could use as a ring tone I love it so much.

Literary snobs (I used to be one of those, too!) could use some patience from people like the Smart Bitches if they’re ever going to wade out of the snobbery they’ve been steeped in all their lives.

*rolls eyes*

Seems to me they’ve had plenty of time to grow up and realize that denigrating the most popular form of fiction might come off as insulting. I’m not inclined to give them any more. It’s like saying men haven’t had quite enough time to realize that discriminating against women isn’t ok, we should cut them some slack. Or that we should all just give the morlocks more time to adjust to the idea of equal rights for gays (while said gays continue to suck up being second class citizens so as not to cause the morlocks discomfort).

Crap, crap and more crap.

SisterZip, my favorite response to that sort of thing is in the movie Real Women Have Curves... the very young-looking, Hispanic main character goes to the store to buy condoms for the first time, and for whatever reason has to get them from the pharmacist… who raises a brow at the request and slightly snarkily asks her what kind she’d like.  Her response?  “Well, what kind do you recommend?”  Worked like a charm.  I agree that being bold is the best strategy, but it seems like denying that the shame exists for a lot of women does make us part of the problem. 

Ann, romance has come up for me as a Borders “4 for 5” category on a couple of occasions… generally it leads to blowing the book budget, as this woman did. 

And GrowlyCub, rather than feeling victimized by lack of respect for the genre yet again, I think that as the wise, empowered, sexy readers we are, we should see this as a “teachable moment.”  Based on the way she bashes herself as a bookworm and nerd and now a trashy-novel addict, this insecure woman is more deserving of pity than anger.  Unlike the GoodReads list, which is ridiculous…

Hmm, spamword is lies56… as in, hopefully by the time she is 56, she won’t feel the need to lie about her book choices?

For the longest time I refused to enter the romance section. I was IGNORANT, and didn’t realize that I shouldn’t be judging cover art based on a few (very dirty and crazy cheezy!) HQN’s from the 80’s I remember finding & snickering at that my mom had.

Then amazon.com entered my life, and a year or more later I realized I was buying books that were stocked in the ROMANCE department of B&N without realizing it. Once I figured out I was being a dummy- and realized that my love of romance started at age 12 when I first read fifteen by Beverly Cleary - I gave it up. I’m all in.

All that said, the woman’s comments and how she’s putting herself down for her choice of enjoyment is sad. I mean - some people like CRAP reality TV and admit it. That’s something I’d see as being far more shameful than loving romance stories. But no, the romance has a bad stigma attached for some. Too bad.

People should just put on their big girl panties, be who they are, and own it. I’m back to

Once I realized I was into the

well crap I hit post before re-reading my response. Ah well. Just have to say:

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

ditto.

Marie, I don’t feel victimized by her.  I think she’s a liar.  As an empowered, but not wise and only questionably sexy woman, I don’t care enough about her to even want to try.  I leave that to my more enlightened sisters.  Have at her. :)

Thanks rebyj and Barb.  I recognized the name, but couldn’t remember the context.  Needless to say if I ever had any inclination to join that site, which I didn’t (nor LT for that matter), that list would kind of nix that idea.

Marie, I taught my daughter (she’s now 24) to do what she feels is right.  She didn’t tell me this until just recently (you know the mother’s mantra concerning their 17 year olds sex life…what I don’t know won’t hurt me), but she marched into a Walgreens and plopped two boxes of condoms on the counter to ask the pharmacist which were better…more ‘secure’.  I guess I taught her a good offense was the best defense…or whatever. :-)

Nether of us gives a rat’s ass what people think of what we read.  We just make fun of them for making fun of us.

I think the saddest part of the stigma attached to romance is that a large group of the critiques are women putting down other women.  I’m amazed by it and just find myself thinking… Shakespeare was a hack who wrote junk food?  Jane Austin?  Junk food?!  Dear lord, I shudder to think what they’d say about Jane Eyre!

What is the problem with reading tales of romance?  Isn’t it what everyone—at their core—has in common?  I don’t believe there isn’t a person alive out there who doesn’t want to feel accepted and loved, who doesn’t want to feel they have a home with someone who cares about them, who would worry about them if they were sick or think to bring over chicken noodle soup if they had a cold.  I think most everyone wants to find that other half of themselves out there and those that haven’t yet hold firm to the faith that they will.  When did Love become a four letter word?

JT

even 38

I think I’m more sorry for Nikki Lomax-Larson than anything.  I used to hide the covers of Laurell K. Hamilton books when I read them on public transportation even though I knew I was being ridiculous by doing so.  There’s a lot of literary snobbishness out there; it starts really early and it shows up all over the place.  Parents can drive school librarians (and their kids, I’m guessing) to despair with their concern over reading levels.  Some people are snobbish about Oprah’s Book Club books, some are snobbish about genre fiction of any kind, some deride children’s and YA lit., and it’s all a darned shame.  Which is all just long way of saying, I see where Nikki LL is coming from.

Having said that, there’s something profoundly wrong with calling reading she legitimately enjoys “trash.”  And you can hear it in her words, under the “ha, ha. I’m so silly” tone - this deep insecurity that won’t allow her to consider that maybe her cliched assumptions about “that literature” and “those people” might be wrong.

If Oprah has it in her Book club that is pretty much going to assure I will not read it.

Oh good, I’m not the only one. I can’t think of a single Oprah Book Club book I’ve read that hasn’t been unrelentingly depressing which is why I stopped reading anything she recommends.

Obviously this woman is new to reading romance and she still is very much aware of the stigma (albeit a stupid stigma) associated with it. Her husband may give her a hard time and she is obviously not confident enough to tell him to shove it as I do with the people who’ve mocked me for reading them.

From the article, though, it seems though that she thinks she shouldn’t be reading romance novels, though, which is a whole other kettle of fish. Even when I felt like I shouldn’t be reading romance novels (because I was 11 when I read my first adult romance novel and I felt like I shouldn’t because I was so young) it didn’t stop me and eventually my mom caught on to the fact that I was snurching her romance novels and started recommending the good ones.

As always my biggest issue is with the term “bodice-rippers” which I wish could be stricken from the English language because it is used by every non-romance novel reader to every novel that is in the romance novel section and it drives me up a wall!

One more thing:

I can’t imagine being embarrassed by what I choose to read. What business is it of anyone else what I enjoy? I’ve taken some crap about being a romance author but usually it comes from people who haven’t read my books or haven’t read ANY romance. More people need to stand up for what they enjoy. Who cares if someone else gives you the arched brow? Give it right back. And then grin. Big and wide with lots of teeth.

I’d like some advice to help her cure herself of this habit so there’s more romance for the rest of us to buy. Any ideas?

Do I understand correctly that you’re hoping to discourage her from buying/reading more romance - and thereby, one would hope, come to realize how mistaken she’s been? Makes this entry sort of an interesting companion to the one the other day about Do Not Buy lines, not to mention to the way men who snark on romance (such as DocTurtle) are dealt with.

In any event, considering that the offending column was written nearly a year ago (and I can’t find that she’s written anything else since last April), either Lomax-Larson has gotten over herself, been enlightened about her poor choice of clichés, or moved on to something else, in which case whomping her over the head probably isn’t going to have much effect.

@GrowlyCub:  Color me cynical, because I had exactly the same reaction.

I do know someone who is slightly embarrassed about romance reading—my 16-year-old son!  He was headed for the library the other day, and I asked if he could pick up a book that was on hold for me.  “Is it one of your trashy books?” he asked.  When I said, “Well, it IS a romance novel,”  he said, “Then it depends.  What does the cover look like?”  I laughed so hard I cried.

SonomaLass, well he’s a teenager and male, they are more on their dignity at that age and I guess he can be excused. :) Although, I think you ought to send him to the library more often so he can outgrow the issue (kind of like allergy shots, grin).

One thing that always blows my mind away is this issue men have in the U.S. with feminine hygiene products.  I lived the first 27 years of my life in Europe and every single boyfriend I ever lived with did buy tampons or panty liners for me at some point in time, without blinking or even a second thought.  I didn’t give my husband a choice about this when the occasion arose here, because it never even occurred to me that this could be an issue!  I finally twigged on this being a cultural phenomenon after seeing some commercial on TV and I asking him about it, but I guess he’s enlightened or old enough not to care. :)

Now, being embarrassed about buying condoms I can see a little more, because after all having sex is a choice we make, having our periods, however, is not. :)  Kind of related to this topic is a book I just finished reading, an older SIM by Kate Hathaway (Bad for Each Other), in which the heroine is deathly embarrassed about telling her husband that they can’t have sex because she has her period.  I liked the book quite a bit, but I did smile a few times at what seemed rather ‘quaint’ attitudes considering that this was published in 1997.

Hey SonomaLass, my boys (15, 17) threw a HQN in the cart the other week.  It had a Navy type on the front.  After my WTF? moment, the oldest said, “well, you used to read to us all the time, now you can read a chapter with supper, hey, I might learn something.”

How do you manage to edit out the bits you don’t want to read to your kids?  The 15yo just goes back over the chapter when it seems “abridged”.

I

One thing that always blows my mind away is this issue men have in the U.S. with feminine hygiene products.

Many years ago I saw a comedian do a routine about this that was hysterical.  He said that he had no problem buying tampons for his wife because A) It wasn’t like people were going to think he needed them for himself and B) it was proof that he had a woman at home.  He said it allowed him to feel smug, especially toward guys looking at girly magazines—-“You’re buying a centerfold?  I gotta woman.”

Turn in your vagina, you’re making me embarrassed to be the same gender as you.

Jennifer, I just have to add to the chorus of how freakin’ brillant that line is. Defintely something I’m going to use from now on.

I found the article to be a piss-poor attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor that managed to show how dumb the author really is. I used to be kind of hesitant to tell people what I read/wrote but now I’m totally upfront about it. Of course I also can’t wait to see how they react to the word ‘romance’. I see it as an opportunity to educate and enlighten.

And when asked why I read/write romance, I tell them what my father told me after I told him I wanted to write romance: “The world needs happy endings.”

Hot and Heavy: The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

Am I the only one who thinks that the word “Hot” has no place anywhere near this book?

Or when they said “Heavy” they meant boring, depressing and will give you a good case of bonerdeath?

seemed67? yup, I would need to see a medical type after reading that book 67 times.

The Weasley Twins are cute, but given a choice, I would prefer to be the filling in a Severus Snape/ Lucius Malfoy sandwich.

“The world needs happy endings.”

Michele, I am so using this as my answer when asked why I read romance!!!

“You’re buying a centerfold? I gotta woman.”

Lori, LOL!

Sometimes, I think I’m the only person who found that movie an utter snoozefest.

Believe me, you aren’t the only one.  The one thing I took away from that movie was, “Ye gods, two hours or so of my life that I’ll never get back again!”

month27—Yep, it does feel like that stupid movie is about 27 months long.

(Larissa)
I too am a military spouse and I write romance. I can’t believe that magazine would publish such tripe! She needs to get the fuck over herself!

It shames me that woman is a military spouse. Hell at my last base the OWC swapped romances like the delicious man-titty candy they are. :)

line16 - and she crossed it

I was over at Karen’s site and copping to buying tons of books last month, but explaining it away due to stress. I think I have a grasp on why a military wife might spend $100 at a pop.

It makes a lot more sense to me than shoes, which always left me perplexed during SATC. The woman in question, the one unworthy of her hoohah and who’s shame makes other military wives feel ashamed of her, is an admitted book addict. It’s not romances that are crack to her, it’s all books, and it seems like she’s bought out the other genres.

“Turn in your vagina…” I almost peed my pants.

Having said that - I was in university when I read my first romance, had ridiculed a co-worker for reading it…She left it behind and I read it during a nightshift because I had nothing else to do (work-shmerk). I hated the book! It was truly awful but I bought another because I had to hope there was better out there. Hallejulah - there was way better stuff out there. That was 15 years ago…Hi, my name is Kelly and I’m a romance-hot sex- good story-ripped men-smart women-addict and I don’t plan on doing anything but feeding the habit.

Maybe she’ll see the error of her ways too! Unfortunately, it’s probably going to take a whole lot longer.

I hope to hell that this magazine gives equal space to one of our romance reading or better yet, writing military spouses to counter this bullshit.

Amen to that, Barb. Was she trying to be cute, funny or is she serious? But I AM sorry she’s so ashamed to read romance novels that she compares it to a crack or cigarette addiction (!) Hoo boy.

Seriously, I think she was trying to be cute. Didn’t succed, IMO. Any comments from other Weasley cream-filling-desiring, bifocal-reading, ashamed-to-read-romance military wives out there? (Larissa, I don’t lump you with those—and thanks to your family for their service to our country).

How do you manage to edit out the bits you don’t want to read to your kids?  The 15yo just goes back over the chapter when it seems “abridged”.

@militaryspouse:  I refused to read romance aloud with my kids.  We read Harry Potter, Narnia, Abberat, Oz, Tolkien and a bunch more fantasy authors.  With the romances, I just left ‘em lying around and didn’t mention if the book or the bookmark had been moved.  I know that all four of mine (the 16 y.o. is the baby, sigh) learned a lot from my books, and I’m glad.  What good romance novels have to say about love and sex are good messages, much better than they got from other sources out there.

My oldest daughter reads a lot of the same books I do, particularly historical romance; one time I found that she had covered a pirate-themed romance in plain paper, because she couldn’t take it to school otherwise—the front illustration was “too explicit.”  My high school senior disdains most romance, but she loved every book in the YA category of last year’s DABWAHA tournament—she’s dying to know what’s on the list this year.  And my oldest son married a young woman whose reading tastes are also very much like mine, and he knows better than to EVER mock her “trashy books.”  I take these as signs of parenting success, LOL.

Eve—you rock!  I have SO much respect for military spouses—the life isn’t easy at all.  All the moves, the time spent alone, the time spent worrying.  I feel lucky that my husband is in the Coast Guard, because even though he’s gone a lot, he’s at least not overseas.

Amy, thank you! :)  I think I probably got a little too snippy, but I that chick pushed my buttons a little.  I sent an email to the magazine and asked them to do a story about military spouses and military members who write.  We’ll see what they say (if anything!)

I think I probably got a little too snippy, but I that chick pushed my buttons a little.  I sent an email to the magazine and asked them to do a story about military spouses and military members who write.  We’ll see what they say (if anything!)

Good luck with that Larissa :-). I hope it works out.

No need to apologize for getting snippy. What she wrote was pretty offensive. To give her the benefit of the doubt (!) she was probably trying to be funny; ha ha ha, look at me, I’m addicted to romance. Real thigh-slapping stuff, ya know?

But I agree with you—military spouses rock! You guys are awesome!

Okay, admittedly before I read romance novels I had a bias against it, but the moment I read my first novel I realized how much I had been missing out on!  Not just the “getting off,” but the really GOOD WRITING!  I mean, the (numerous) people reading romance novels are no dummies (see: uh….the readers and writers here), and we would not be reading these books if they were just about getting off.  There are fabulous writers (and sometimes not-so-fabulous) in the romance genre as much as in any other genre!

Don’t get over it!  Get hubby involved!  And then read “Everything I need to know I learned from romance novels,” because seriously romance novels are freaking awesome.  Shout it from the rooftops!

You should try being a PhD (in Russian literature, no less) who reads and writes romance. Oh, the eyebrows… still, I’ve found a good, long, didactic discourse on why Tolstoy’s novels are really just shopping and f*cking novels a la “Princess Daisy” tends to shut up most doubters. That, and pointing out the percentage of the book market that is devoted to romance purchases and the average demographic of the readers. At that point, my happy mockers are typically bored into oblivion and give up on the teasing.

Plus, I still get a kick out of shelving J.R. Ward and Kresley Cole next to Tolstoy on my bookshelves.

the only time I’ve been embarrassed reading a “trashy” novel is when I noticed the older “gentleman” across from me in the doctor’s waiting room was giving me the eye since I was reading one of Megan Hart’s books with the naked silhouette on it. EWWWWWWWWW…........... is all I can say.

I would think that Lora Leigh’s novels would not be called, technically, bodice-rippers but thong-rippers, don’t you? Having read all of the Nauti-boys line and several of her other series, I’ve seen a LOT of thong ripping going on. Any other votes?

As for the Weasley sandwich…..I’m a redhead with a red-headed brother and father, and thus inclined to have a natural pre-disposition to be nauseated at the thought of actually seeing a red-headed male nude, much less aroused and approaching me with an erect penis. So the thought of two of them, wanting to have sex me…wait…I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. I’m not against a sandwich, per se, just these two particular participants ;)

And I don’t give a rat’s ass-hat what this lady reads. If she’s so pretentious that she tries to hide the titles of her books, then she doesn’t deserve to get good titles from me. If I can walk around proudly telling people to go to a website called Smart Bitches Trashy Books for great recommendations, then she needs to get over herself. And I do this with a 5 year old, a 9 year old, and an 11 year old in tow. I just make sure they aren’t listening when I say it :)

wow, my spam word is feel37. If only! I feel every bit of my 47 years ACK!

I love you all so much I can barely stand it! LOL! MWAH!

This thread inspired a friend to turn me on to the site!

I LOVE romance novels. I started reading Barbara Cartland in the 4th grade, moved on to Kathleen Woodiwyss (sp?) and kept going right through the vampire hotties and the rugged Scotsmen in kilts from all centuries. Discovering Diana Gabaldon was a joy. I read voraciously - including whatever my husband leaves around (he inspired my interest in science fiction!).

Said hubby calls it “CLITerature.”