Friday Videos are All About Comedy.

Browse the Bitches

Bitchin' Blog Posts

by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | September 19, 2008 | Friday at 11:32 am | 44 Comments

From Cheyenne McCray: total hilarity:

There is no doubt that I would love to do this with at least three rolly chairs I own, pink rabbit optional. Thanks to Randi for the link.

And from Lucinda Betts: the Impotence of Proofreading with Taylor Mali:

Filed: Friday Videos

| |

Cat Marsters said on 09.19.08 at 12:14 PM • [link]

“This one’s wet.” Bwaahahahahaha! Ahahahahah! Aahahahahaha!

Okay, my face hurts now. I needed warning about that, dammit!
DS said on 09.19.08 at 12:38 PM • [link]

Ah, Germany, the same country that brought us the High Heel Race video. Don’t ever change.
Joanna said on 09.19.08 at 12:45 PM • [link]

oh the high-larity!
face-hurty warning a must, but clit away!
eaeaea said on 09.19.08 at 12:55 PM • [link]

Bahahaha. Brilliant!!!
I’m sending it to everyone who needs a mega-laugh!
Ruth said on 09.19.08 at 01:47 PM • [link]

Is it safe to admit that I absolutely ADORE Richard Simmons?
Marilyn said on 09.19.08 at 02:48 PM • [link]

I had so forgotten about that Whose Line is it Anyway. I was sitting in my office watching it and laughed so loud, my co-workers had to come look, so we had to start it over again from the beginning. I think I have to go home and change my pants now. I do love Richard Simmons. He’s (one of) my guilty pleasures.
ev said on 09.19.08 at 03:12 PM • [link]

Any time I watch that clip with Richard and the boys, I lose it. It doesn’t matter how many times I have seen it. At least I didn’t spit at the screen since I knew enough to put down my drink.

I used to proof read press releases- for certain unnamed political offices. The crap they would try and put through thinking that they had everything ok was amazing. Just amazing.

I loved both of them. Thanks for the smiles!!
Sandra D said on 09.19.08 at 03:13 PM • [link]

Ahh, thanks for reminding me of some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever seen. I’ve watched that Who’s Line video many, many times and STILL laugh my ass off at it. And isn’t Taylor Mali great? Here’s another one of his poems, this one about teachers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJlzYrXd1pw . Enjoy.
Victoria Dahl said on 09.19.08 at 03:20 PM • [link]

I love Taylor Mali. The one about “What do Teachers Make” makes me cry. I’m not sure why.
ev said on 09.19.08 at 03:33 PM • [link]

Catch the one after it with Richard and Song Styles. Almost as funny. And then the one with Robin Williams. (I am getting up early tomorrow to buy tickets to see Robin in November. I have to.) I have always found a sense of humor sexy on a man.

I loved this show!!

thank you Cheyenne! I needed that. Now I have to find the bathroom….
Mary Beth said on 09.19.08 at 03:51 PM • [link]

Thank jeebus I wasn’t drinking anything when I watched the Whose Line skit. I can only say -
OMG!
Cat Marsters said on 09.19.08 at 03:53 PM • [link]

We used to do the rolly chair thing at school. The teacher used to watch.

This may be why I never learned the impotence of proofreading.
Carrie Lofty said on 09.19.08 at 04:10 PM • [link]

I love how Greg Proops is just losing it in the background.
AmandaG said on 09.19.08 at 05:01 PM • [link]

Oh man, my face hurts from laughing. I needed that today.
Sarabeth said on 09.19.08 at 05:08 PM • [link]

Like others, my face hurts, but that probably stems from my soft spot for Richard Simmons.
Silver James said on 09.19.08 at 05:18 PM • [link]

I have tried to dial 9-1-1. I cannot breathe. Oh. Dear. God!
The red penis your friend.

*wipes tears of laughter*

I love Richard, too. He’s just so…RICHARD! And rolly chairs are so much better than outhouses.
natasha b said on 09.19.08 at 05:21 PM • [link]

1st one was a bit silly but the 2nd was relay puny
Barbara said on 09.19.08 at 05:51 PM • [link]

What a great way to start the day…laughing until I cried. I shared the first with work colleagues…and could track the progress by the chortles coming from the different offices! Rock on Richard!
Christine said on 09.19.08 at 06:06 PM • [link]

I think I just laughed a few millions worth of crunches. I suddenly don’t feel so badly for skipping the gym today.
Lyvvie said on 09.19.08 at 06:45 PM • [link]

I’ve not seen Richard Simmons in over 10 years. I don’t remember him being so Gay! He was always jolly but Hello Sailor! That was hysterical and an eye opener.
Emily W said on 09.19.08 at 07:03 PM • [link]

Okay, that second video? “The Impotence of Proofreading”?

I LITERALLY laughed so hard I cried. Honest to God, I cried and couldn’t breathe, it was so hilarious. And now my sides hurt.
icedtea said on 09.19.08 at 08:04 PM • [link]

Whose Line! I used to be so addicted to that show. That Richard Simmons episode never gets old. :D
Joanna S. said on 09.19.08 at 08:28 PM • [link]

Oh BRAVO, ladies!! Both of these made me laugh so hard that I had to run out and pee! I will be showing the Taylor Mali bit in my composition classes on monday. Yup. It’s a done deal.
phadem said on 09.19.08 at 08:43 PM • [link]

“It’s gotta be tighter. Tighter!”

Yes, silent laughter in the office still hurts, even if no one heard you.
Esri Rose said on 09.19.08 at 10:45 PM • [link]

Dear God, that first one was funny.

Security word: hard98

Laughing hard since 1998? Um, possibly.
kopperhead said on 09.20.08 at 12:21 AM • [link]

I never watched “Whose Line” so the Richard Simmons clip was all new to me; how hilarious. And the proofreading!!! I’m double crylaughing here. I’ve got to watch again just to see the jet-ski and hear “red penis is your friend”.
alia said on 09.20.08 at 03:28 AM • [link]

OMG: that richard simmons episode (4.5 years ago) made me go into labor! i laughed so hard that my water broke. i’ve been meaning to get his autograph for my son ever since. (“Daddy was why you were born, but richard simmons is why you were born *then*.”
Melissa said on 09.20.08 at 03:37 AM • [link]

I laughed so hard at the Whose Line clip that I made myself choke! And hubby got tired of hearing me shout ‘OMG!’ and put his noise cancellation headphones on. :)

But it was well worth it. Best laugh I’ve had in days and I needed it. Many thanks for sharing!
Meggrs said on 09.20.08 at 05:09 AM • [link]

OMG OMG I’ve never seeen Ryan Stiles lose it during a sketch like that, and I watched way back when he and Greg were on the original British version. Kudos to Richard Simmons for making him cross that line.

And Greg’s post-skit reaction was brilliant.
Bonnie L. said on 09.20.08 at 05:48 AM • [link]

Oh my good gravy! I haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time. My four-year-old daughter came over and asked me what was wrong and why I was laughing. She then proceeded to pretend to laugh along with me because she didn’t want to be left out of the party. My tears were splashing onto my glasses, I was laughing so hard.

Really, you should have put the The Impotence of Proofreading piece above the fold and finished up with Richard Simmons because it was really hard to properly appreciate the brilliance of the piece while coming down off of the laughing high of the first video.
AgTigress said on 09.21.08 at 11:25 PM • [link]

Oh, wow, major culture gulf here! I smiled, wanly, once or twice, but that’s all.
:-(
Or maybe it’s generation gap? Or both?
AgTigress said on 09.21.08 at 11:41 PM • [link]

Here’s an interesting experiment: how many of you find this video funny?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhX7qEgjbgk&feature=related

Is it just British humour, or do Americans find it funny too? ;-)
Melissa Blue said on 09.22.08 at 12:19 AM • [link]

Spank you for posting these.
ev said on 09.22.08 at 12:40 AM • [link]

I found that funny too. Not as funny as Richard Simmons, but then I am tired and not feeling very well at all. May make a difference.

did they really outlaw the use of the word wanker? I actually use that word. Drives people here nuts. Love the sound of it and it conveys so much with out saying the fuck one in polite company.

oops.
AgTigress said on 09.22.08 at 12:55 AM • [link]

Wank/wanker are definitely not words used in polite company in British English! They are much more vulgar than I think Americans realise, on exactly the same level as fuck/fucker and compounds thereof. The only sexual expletive that is stronger (used of men as well as women) is cunt.
:-)

The clip is quite old (note that Victoria Wood speaks of the ‘EEC’ rather than the ‘EU’); I suspect the ‘rules’ to which she alludes were a proposal connected with harassment-at-work laws. Britain has always had a faintly uneasy relationship with the EU, and has tended to exaggerate the various rules and regulation that are formulated in Brussels.
ev said on 09.22.08 at 02:55 PM • [link]

Wank/wanker are definitely not words used in polite company in British English! They are much more vulgar than I think Americans realise, on exactly the same level as fuck/fucker and compounds thereof. The only sexual expletive that is stronger (used of men as well as women) is cunt.

Which is the exact reason I use it. Fuck is just as bad here as Wank is there, although I think it might be a bit more versatile and can be used without it being a swear word, but it is not seen that way. The C word is one I despise and find the ultimate in vulgarity.
AgTigress said on 09.22.08 at 05:52 PM • [link]

Yes, BUT Ev, wank is used in American English with other connotations, and indeed, has been thus used on this very website, which is why I say that Americans may not necessarily realise that it is extremely vulgar in BE (British English). I have seen the word used in AE with the approximate meaning ‘mess around’. This kind of casual usage would be absolutely unthinkable in BE.

From the Free On-line Dictionary of Computing:
WANK
/wangk/ [Columbia University: probably by mutation from Commonwealth slang “wank”, to masturbate] Used much as hack is elsewhere, as a noun denoting a clever technique or person or the result of such cleverness. May describe (negatively) the act of hacking for hacking’s sake (“Quit wanking, let’s go get supper!”) or (more positively) a wizard. “wanky” describes something particularly clever (a person, program, or algorithm). Conversations can also get wanky when there are too many wanks involved. This excess wankiness is signalled by an overload of the “wankometer” (compare bogometer). When the wankometer overloads, the conversation’s subject must be changed, or all non-wanks will leave. Compare “neep-neeping” (under neep-neep). Usage: US only. In Britain and the Commonwealth this word is *extremely* rude and is best avoided unless one intends to give offense.

As I said, fuck and wank are on a similar level of vulgarity in BE, and can, of course, be used completely literally (copulate, masturbate), as well as being employed as expletives.

I think, and I am not alone, that it is great pity that cunt cannot be reinstated as a more acceptable term. The fact that old, colloquial words for the penis are markedly less ‘shocking’ than an old, colloquial word for the vulva and vagina seems to me offensive in itself.
RfP said on 09.22.08 at 06:32 PM • [link]

AgTigress, I think much of humor is familiarity. People get conditioned to laugh at entertainers like Richard Simmons. I happen to dislike his Whee! I’m so gay and clueless! shtick; for me that episode was a dud.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with the UK version of Whose Line Is It Anyway, but both versions of the show (sans the Simmons) draw heavily on old-fashioned British parlor games. They sometimes improvise silly songs with piano, rather in the vein of the Victoria Wood performance. The show can be quite funny—though not this time, for my taste.
wank is used in American English with other connotations, and indeed, has been thus used on this very website, which is why I say that Americans may not necessarily realise that it is extremely vulgar in BE

In my experience everyone knows what “wank” means when they use it in non-sexual contexts; it’s meant to be vulgar. It’s just like saying “masturbatory prose”, or using “fucking around” or “playing with himself” in the sense of “wasting time”. I’ve always assumed that that knowingly vulgar usage is how it’s intended on this site, of all sites.

(Nice spam catcher. Member85, please stand up and be wanked.)
SB Sarah said on 09.22.08 at 06:46 PM • [link]

I’ve always assumed that that knowingly vulgar usage is how it’s intended on this site, of all sites.

YUP!

I frequently use really ugly words in other languages (like Quebecois) when I do something like stub my toe or hurt myself in a place where I can’t curse in English, knowing that what I’m saying is hideously vulgar but not to the people who might hear me. Hence “wank” takes on a whole new deliciousness here, because Candy, who is much better schooled than I am in BE, and I both know full well that it’s a Really Bad Word in BE, but utterly docile in AE. The relative balance, or imbalance, of power inherent in variations of English is totally fascinating - and also makes for a more colorful vocabulary.

Short answer: yes, we are knowingly vulgar.

Signed - Sarah, Duchess of Cuntington.
RfP said on 09.22.08 at 06:56 PM • [link]

itâ€™s a Really Bad Word in BE, but utterly docile in AE

I don’t agree that it’s harmless in AE. I wouldn’t say it to my grandparents, just as I wouldn’t say “more bang for the buck” because to some people it implies frequenting a cheap prostitute.
Cat Marsters said on 09.22.08 at 08:26 PM • [link]

I’m not sure I agree that it’s such a terrible word. I—and plenty of people I know in my corner of England—use it more colloquially. It’s used more often than ‘fuck’ and in different company. My brother exclaims ‘wankers!’ when something’s gone mildly wrong. A friend complains of his wanky accounting colleagues. A pretentious book or film is utter wank. This to me is all normal usage and about as offensive as ‘bollocks’.

Funny thing though: earlier my mum was relating a shouted conversation between two men, telling me that one had yelled, “You f-ing cunt!” to the other. She would say cunt, but not fuck. It’s all personal preference.
AgTigress said on 09.22.08 at 10:51 PM • [link]

Cat, there are regional, generational and social differences in all dialects. In BE, sexual expletives are far more commonly used in most circles today than they were even 25 years ago; in general, they have moved up the formality register, from the most restricted level to a somewhat more open level of colloquialism.

But would you use a word like ‘wanker’, or ‘fucking’, come to that, if you were being interviewed for a job, for example, or if you were speaking to a rather formidable elderly lady? Would you use them casually to a complete stranger, as in, ‘what’s that fucking wanker up there doing - he has jumped the queue, the cunt!’ Perhaps you would. I definitely would not, but then, I am an old lady myself. However, I do sometimes use these expressions (though not usually all at once) when speaking to people I know very well indeed, but I would be offended if a complete stranger spoke to me using that kind of vocabulary.

She would say cunt, but not fuck. Itâ€™s all personal preference.

That really does surprise me, and I submit that it is quite unusual, as it is not simply a case of personal preference. It is ‘personal preference’ (and a matter of register) whether one uses cock or prick or willy or penis, but cunt is still generally regarded as the most strongly verboten sex-word in BE, and most speakers of this form of English would jib at using it in front of anyone other than a true intimate.

:-)
ev said on 09.23.08 at 12:32 AM • [link]

Fuck can be used to convey so much and not be vulgar. It just depends on the company you are in. “What the fuck was that” is in no way sexual, just sounds more expressive than “What was that”.

Some where there is a whole thing on the different forms Fuck can take and be used. I found it hilarious and it’s also when I realized how much I use the fucking thing.

Now, would I use it in the above situations. Probably not. Would I have used it in front of my commander- at times and depending on who was there, since he did too. But usually not since I tried to at least sound like a lady- unless I was on the firing range and that becomes a whole different story.

Part of it comes from hanging and working with men most of my life- and some of them Canadians. Almost all military. Hubby yells at me for my potty mouth. His era women didn’t swear the way many of my generation does. He still hasn’t adjusted. Oh well.

Some how my dad did- he used Asshole for everything- Friendly and not so friendly. Could be amusing at times to hear him.

As for cunt, I just plain despise the sound of the word, it makes my skin crawl. Most likely because where I grew up it was considered the worst thing to be called. And I save it for only very special occassions.
Amy Lynn said on 09.23.08 at 01:45 PM • [link]

I laughed hysterically at that! My teenage son laughed hysterically at that! My husband managed to chuckle even though Richard Simmons gives him the heebie jeebies!

Look for Wayne Brady doing “songstyles” with Richard Simmons. Also a winner!