Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

What really had my eyes a bubbling out was the fact that on top of all that hot mess in a dirty dish pile was that the winner “must” sign a contract with them. …..am thinking there must be rights to first borns in that thing with a section for signing in blood.

#thingsyoudonteventouchwitha10footpolewhilewearingarubber

The response from Karen Hunter is not only rude and disrespectful, it’s absolutely absurd. Boo bird? I’m out.

and ditto the fabulous contests thing. they pop up all the time ranging from free to $30-$35. The most I ever paid for a contest was $50 and that was for RWA’s GoldenHeart.

You also might be interested in reading John Scalzi’s take on it here: http://whatever.scalzi.com/

Hint: He’s not high on it.

Were the sponsors previously in business in Nigeria?

Ya know if it is all legit and a new publisher looking to debut with unknown authors, I still would not buy an e book from them because of this line in the “About Us” section at the First One Publishing website: “• Feature product placement within books.”

Do they mean you read page 49 and page 50 is a advertisement page? Or like J.R. Ward everything down to the toothpicks have a name brand? Either way it’s not for me. The only way product placement would work in e books is at the end of an e book after you finish and wonder what you’re going to read next, that there be a page of “if you liked this you may like” recommendations from the publisher. An advertisement for instance, soft drinks or shoes is just going to be an annoyance.

Link to the “About Us” section of their website. http://www.firstonepublishing.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=104&Itemid=54

*scrapes jaw off floor*

I guess I’m part of the problem, and proud to be.

Wow.  Does anyone else get a bit of a Orwellian feel to these comments?

If you want to be a part of something bigger than what you’re currently doing, join us…Either you’re part of the solution or you’re part of the problem.

She seems to be trying to divert the focus from her fine print to whether one is cool enough to join her exclusive group.  Hey, the best defense is a good offense, right?  Just to keep with the terrible sports metaphors.

I can’t tell if it is a contest or an effort to generate start-up capital through the high entry fees and product donation in the form of intellectual property.

“in perpetuity.” W.O.W.

Just thinking here:  remember that story about the person who had to give back the Pulitzer cuz the story was made up?

I’m on my second bucket of popcorn here.

You know, there are a lot of crazy-ass people in the world and way too many Good Girls trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I can’t wait till they tell you what a Big Meanie Establishment Pawn you are.

From the Absolute Write thread: “Just as American Idol has given us Kelly Clarkson, Fantasia, Jennifer Hudson, Clay Aiken, and so many, many more, First One will deliver the next Stephen King, Nicholas Sparks, and Stephenie Meyer.”

Lol. King’s alright, but Sparks & Meyer? Way to hold yourself up to a great writer standards there. (Reading “Reasoning with Vampires pretty much killed any thoughts I had of reading any of Meyer’s work. I can stand bad plot, but bad editing…eh.)  Unless it’s not about the next great writer, and the next great cash cow. And there’s really no way to predict if anyone will get as big as Sparks or Meyer.

Also, um, I’m pretty no one on AI had to pay to tryout on AI, and they didn’t sign away their rights to everything.

No, what bothers me is how many people will actually enter the contest.

A lawyer’s take on the whole pile of steeming manure:

http://foresthouse.livejournal.com/578029.html

I mentioned this to my husband, and read to him the clauses (particularly #13)... this was over 5 minutes ago and he’s still trying to recover from a coughing fit that he got as a result of a serious case of the LOLs… he’s an attorney :>

I never do this but I couldn’t resist this time around:

Word of the day: thinking58 ... thinking 58 reasons why that contest is SO wrong in SO many ways.

I must be a real sicko ‘cause when I read the contest rules I laughed like a loon.  It was so over-the-top ridiculous that I couldn’t take it seriously.  But I must confess, “boo bird” was the icing on that particular piece of WTF? cake.

I’m sorry.  I know there are aspiring writers who’ll get sucked into this quicksand, but really, people, use some common sense when thinking about participating in these events!

Having said that, kudos again to AW and all the other hardworking folks who want to protect writers from scams and dubious publishing events.

As far as I can see, there’s not way to actually enter the contest. It seems they want you to send in a paper MS, which seems strange for a digital publisher that has a picture of a caveman to designate “terrestrial” books (and WTF is with that adjective choice, anyway—never heard it before). But also, for a publisher that touts itself as “all about the author” (and WTF on that, too? What about the READER?!), there’s no general submission guidelines on the webpage either, that I can find. Strange all around.

“Boo Bird” is my new favorite phrase. 

“This plan is foolproof!”  Allilianakirstenkimberly cried.  “We shall simply jump off this sinking pirate vessel and take refuge in a nuclear submarine!”

“That won’t work” protested the plot moppets, flying into a potato rage.  “The year is 1762!  Nuclear submarines haven’t been invented yet!”

Allilianakirstenkimberly tossed her mane of copper coloured curls.  “Oh, poo”.  She said, “Don’t be a boo bird!”

“Boo bird” is a common phrase in the sports world but I must admit to being a little nonplussed at seeing it in this context. This woman could have coined the phrase “The best defense is a good offense”!

On a more serious note, this incident (and the similar one regarding the recipes at the Cooks Source web site) is a great example of the Intertubes using its power for good - a lot more people would probably have been sucked into this were it not for the online outrage and instant publicizing of the problem.

I am awfully proud to be on Team Boo Bird right now.  ::chokes back a tear of joy::

If you copy and paste the whole clause up there in the pink box into Google, you get a Google books result (The Givenchy Code) with a contest in the back from 2005. Looks like almost all the terms in this new contest were taken verbatim from that one - except that one didn’t appear to charge for entry (though they did also want all those rights).

Oy. And people wonder why so many authors are turning to self=publishing. The absolute freedom from any restrictions on your own copyright is bliss, even after the relatively benign control of a reputable publisher’s contract.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate. And many precipitates have no future other than to be disposed of down the sink - as this crap should be.

Sarah Frantz: I won’t got back and re-read it again, but I believe contest entries won’t be accepted until 2/1/11.  Karen Hunter mentions this and says they’ve got time to get feedback and make some changes.

I know next to nothing about getting published but this mess makes me shake my head in disbelief!

Hmm, on top of everything else, I’m sorry, but I can’t really take seriously a “publisher” who publicly interacts with potential clientele and/or peers on a supposedly professional matter and uses netspeak. Also, her “response” needs a beta. I say “beta” rather than editor, because this whole thing reminds me of the shenanigans I’ve seen in fanfiction.

I’m just sorry that chances are, someone will buy into a scheme like this. And I don’t get it, either - it just seems like if you’re so desperate to be “published,” the dreaded “self e-publishing” would be a better idea than this sort of thing.

the dreaded “self e-publishing” would be a better idea than this sort of thing.

Indeed. I make a lot more than the entry fee for this competition each month from my books on sale at Smashwords, and I don’t have to spend a cent of my own money to do so.

However, I’m sorry that Holly felt it necessary to take a swipe at self-publishing while criticising a supposed ‘real’ publisher.  Can we please stick to the issue at hand? If you want to drag in other questionable practices, I can lists you a whole bunch of ‘real’ publishers ripping off authors and customers, including much bigger names than are involved in this nonsense.

Self-publishers are not engaging in fraud, don’t take other people’s material or copyrights, and hey, some of us are actually doing it by choice, not desperation. Oh, and we don’t charge ridiculous fees to play in our sandbox. ‘Kay?

However, I’m sorry that Holly felt it necessary to take a swipe at self-publishing while criticising a supposed ‘real’ publisher.  Can we please stick to the issue at hand? If you want to drag in other questionable practices, I can lists you a whole bunch of ‘real’ publishers ripping off authors and customers, including much bigger names than are involved in this nonsense.

Self-publishers are not engaging in fraud, don’t take other people’s material or copyrights, and hey, some of us are actually doing it by choice, not desperation. Oh, and we don’t charge ridiculous fees to play in our sandbox. ‘Kay?

whoah whoah whoah - I’m sorry if something I wrote came off like that - that is NOT what I was getting at. Maybe I mis-worded something, and I apologize. My “dreaded” remark was sarcasm, if that’s where you got the idea I was taking a swipe at self-publishing. I genuinely am mystified why anyone would fall for a pay-to-publish scheme like this when self-pub’ing is becoming easier and gradually more acceptable in wider circles (as it should be, imo)

*eyeroll at self* I had mis-placed air-quotes. I see it, now. Sorry.

I had mis-placed air-quotes. I see it, now. Sorry.

No worries, and sorry for being so defensive. There’s just so much shit slung at self-published authors, and so much of it could be better aimed at so-called ‘traditional’ publishers. They do much more harm than we self-pubbers could ever do.

Thanks for posting about this.

Did you see the part where they don’t even have to pick a winner if they don’t want to, and don’t have to give the money back? (Bolding mine)

In the event that there is an insufficient number of entries received that meet the minimum standards determined by the judges, all prizes will not be awarded. Winners will be required to complete and return an affidavit of eligibility and liability/publicity release, within 15 days of winning notification, or an alternate winner will be selected, in the event any winner is considered a minor in his/her state of residence, such winner’s parent/legal guardian will be required to sign and return all necessary paperwork.

Man, I’ve totally been going about trying to earn money the wrong way.

What does a boo bird look like, anyway? I’m picturing a dodo with a megaphone and a very cross expression.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

BWAhaha!  I love that line!

This is so awesome.  There’s really nothing on tv tonight, and I’d been wondering what to do with myself.

Oh wow.

My eyebrow muscles are a bit sore with all the eyebrow-raising I did while reading this post. And did you see the comment of Ze 20-Year Veteran in Publishing aka Karen Hunter wrote on Janet Reid’s blog?

Wow. I hope nobody’s drunk enough to join that contest.

Boo bird.  Stop and think that some woman actually wrote that in a supposedly professional context.

She will forever be associated with the words “boo bird”...they will accompany her like a floating dialogue balloon.  I think she’s earned it.

This thing has gone viral.
Why am I enjoying all of this? I must be part of the problem.

“This plan is foolproof!”  Allilianakirstenkimberly cried.  “We shall simply jump off this sinking pirate vessel and take refuge in a nuclear submarine!”

“That won’t work” protested the plot moppets, flying into a potato rage.  “The year is 1762!  Nuclear submarines haven’t been invented yet!”

Allilianakirstenkimberly tossed her mane of copper coloured curls.  “Oh, poo”.  She said, “Don’t be a boo bird!”

I think I love you.

Any chance you feel like finishing this novel and then selling me the rights for $149.00?  I hear people are doing that now.  What do you think, Admiral Ackbar?

I had read Janet Reid’s response, and Karen Hunter’s reponse back, but I hadn’t seen this letter from our contest giver! It actually made me laugh how it was filled with such motivation and a “change the world” mentality. . . when meanwhile, she’s stealing your books and making you pay for it!

I’ve entered two writing contests recently(both of which are Jane Austen themed)and neither of them required any sort of entrance fee or signing away my first born via blood oath:).

Thank the muses for the folks at Absolute Write;I tend to check them out during my agent query rounds to get more info about how soon I can expect to hear back from someone,what he/she looks for,etc. A good site for hopeful writers to find out the real deal about the publishing world.

The mention of product placement reminds me of how Anne Shirley won a writing contest when she shoehorned the sponsoring flour company’s product into her story. ;)

@ Elizabeth - I won’t sell you the rights, but I’ll trade you for this very lovely bridge that I’m selling.

Lynne, move up one and pass me the bucket of salty, would you?  This one is going to run and run…

I am totally at a loss - this whole thing is so OTT ridiculous. But what’s worse than this outrageous ploy to rob people of their money and their work is that there are new writers out there who won’t do their research and will actually fall for this.

I went to the website to see what everyone was talking about and couldn’t get past the flash on the first page.  The first slide in the flash was promoting a book titled “Ni**er”. 

Usually I can take explicitness, in any form, but it just kind of stumped me.  I couldn’t force myself past it, once I shook myself out of my shock I closed the page uninterested in reading anything more.

“FEES: There will be a $149.00 entrance fee for each submission. The fee must be paid online before the manuscript will be accepted.”

So unless I pay I get no play? Puhleez, that scam is as old as the hairs on God’s head.

**meaning, I know we all pay entrance fees, but damn that price is high

I don’t think that Amazon thing that starts Jan 24 has an entry fee.  But I am NOT positive about that.

@Gina
Just for the record, Nigger is an autobiography by Dick Gregory first published back in the 60s.  Gregory is a comedian and political activist with a clear anti-racist agenda.  While the choice of title was and still is controversial, it really isn’t another strike against the publisher.

Lord knows, FirstOne’s contest has enough strikes against it and brings a new dimension to the concept of exploitation, but reissuing a digital version of Gregory’s book should probably be counted in the win column.

Interestingly, boo bird is not all she will be associated with. This is also the woman that suggested atheists need Hallmark cards. She does have a way with words.

This is also the woman that suggested atheists need Hallmark cards.

WTF? I continue to be a part of the problem . . . and my verification is “specific 69”. Nice.

Where do I get my Boo Bird Badge?

If the best defense is a good offense, the publisher’s response certainly qualifies: it was good and offensive.

Wow! Amazingly ridiculous! What a scam. Unfortunate that some people will fall for it.

As an athiest, I’m confused.  What do we need the cards for?  Does she mean cards to convert us?  To express sympathy for our lack of belief?  Or more secular cards that we can use (Happy Winter Holiday?)

Never mind.  Due to the power of google, I am now depressed.  No Hallmark card can possibly cheer me up, unless it’s one from Karen that says, “Sorry I had this huge blind spot that made me a total douchecanoe.  Separation of Church and State ROCKS!  Love, Karen.  PS - my contest was dumb.”  It should come with candy.  And flowers.  Thanks Karen, write anytime.

true44:  There are 44 true reasons for me to cheer up, but religious intolerance is not one of them.

@Kelly L. - Anne Shirley:  Did she enter a writing contest and win, only to be horrified that the sponsors had inserted their product?  Or was it Diana that inserted the flour into the story and submitted it without Anne knowing?  I think that’s it, and she was still horrified.

Now I need to look it up.  But which book?  The first?  I think the 2nd book, maybe.  Oh, how this will bother me until I KNOW!

Sadly, I don’t remember anymore! I think I’m due for a reread. LOL.

Diana adding the flour sounds right, though. Also I think there may have been a similar plotline in one of the Emily books.

Well, I suppose the lady can actually say she’s telling the truth. She admits to scamming and taking advantage of the contest entrants right there in the contest pages. FirstOne is under no obligation to do anything actually helpful for you, ever, because they say they aren’t.

Well, that’s certainly true. No one can deny that.

However, it isn’t honest.

I saw her on TV a few days ago (MSNBC, CNBC, one of those high-dial cable news channels) promoting her brave new world of excellence in digital publishing. When no one questions anything she says, she can seem quite pleasant and probably earned a few $149s from those who won’t investigate further.

Wow…  Entrants, can you say SCREWED?  I knew you could.

My verify word is free87. Yeah, the best things in life are free. Does that makes this contest one of the worst things in life?

On another thread on this wonderful, informative and entertaining website (SBTB)  I asked for input re:  the Amazon/Penguin/Create a Space collaborative contest.  It sounds kind of good to me, but, as I have said, I live in cloud cuckoo land, and would enjoy and appreciate having any negatives pointed out to me.  In the meanwhile, it may be worth a look by y’all.  (That would be “you guys”.) Be forewarned.  Crate a Space is a vanity publishing deal, but I don’t think you have to do that.

Just as American Idol has given us Kelly Clarkson, Fantasia, Jennifer Hudson, Clay Aiken, and so many, many more, First One will deliver the next Stephen King, Nicholas Sparks, and Stephenie Meyer

No one with a scrap of legitimate publishing experience and a dribble of realism would ever say this.

This is the promise of a con artist.

Hi Virginia,

This is the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. It’s a legit contest, and winners/finalists have indeed been published by Penguin. I’m not quite sure what role Createspace (not Create a Space, just FYI) plays in this, except that they’re owned by Amazon, and I’ve heard rumors of past ABNA contestants getting lots of emails suggesting they go ahead and publish themselves. But it is a legitimate contest, in that it’s not a scam and people have actually won.

Having said that, though…

The rules require you to accept the contract offered, with no negotiation. That’s not good. And given the competition and the manner of judging, you’re starting out with several strikes against you, as opposed to submitting to agents in the normal fashion. I’m also not at all confident about the way these books are judged, frankly.

Personally, I think the vast majority of contests—certainly those which offer publication as a prize—are a waste of time. If your work is good enough/marketable enough to be published, it’s good enough to be published through the usual channels, and probably faster than it would be through a contest. Not to mention you’ll be able to select an agent to represent you (assuming one offers) and negotiate the best possible deal for you. And to submit to more than one publisher. And to not spam you with offers for vanity publishing.

Something like ten thousand people enter this contest every year. Sure, about the same amount submit to agents every six months or so, but that’s more spread out.

Submitting to agents is like entering a contest every day. :-) So why not do it that way, and stand a better chance of getting a great deal, instead of maybe being forced to take whatever you’re offered?

Here’s the AW thread on the ABNA:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91733&highlight=amazon+breakthrough

if you’d like to read through it.

I hope that helps. Feel free to ask questions or register at AW and ask there.

Correction: Apparently you now can negotiate the contract, but you’re still required to accept it; entering the contest automatically gives Penguin your first publication rights if you become a quarter- or semifinalist.

That is simply amazing.  Unfortunately I guess the reason they do it is as a result of it working and people handing over their fee.  Maybe I should stop writing and start holding contests….

Did this woman used to work at Cook’s magazine ?  ; )

@StaciaKane.  Thank you.  Cleared a couple of clouds out of my head.  I am TOTALLY cowed by the submission process and am trying to work my way through the query letter thing.  Why I can do 70,000+ words but am stymied by a simple query letter is probably due to my tendency to accumulate phobias for fun.  I appreciate your generous response. The one thing I have heard that I always try to remember is that you shouldn’t have to pay anyone in the process.

Query letters are hard. They suck, really. Nobody likes them/writing them. But they do get easier. :-)

AW has a Share Your Work forum (password protected; password is VISTA) where you can post excerpts and queries for critique. Some good advice there.

I assume you know about Janet Reid/Query Shark? Good place to learn more about queries. And of course Miss Snark, now archived, but still totally worth looking at, because she gave fantastic advice.

Good luck!

I love learning new languages! I thought “H.E. double hockey sticks” was brilliant but “Boo Bird” kicks arse!

I hope, somewhere, there will be follow up so we can find out how successful, or not, Hunter’s idea is.
@StaciaKane.  Thanks.  Saved this.  Do they get all mad here if we go WAY off topic?  I know I only have to write one query.  And I am going to.  I am.  Right away.  Writer’sDigest is supposed to have a critiquing blog, even sorted by type, but I cannot figure out how to get there.  They have lots of info, but much of it is for sale.  Sooner or later, you find it for free.

@Carin: Diana added the brand name of the flour to the end of the story. Anne was horrified and gave up writing for a while as a result. It’s in the first book. :)

“That won’t work” protested the plot moppets, flying into a potato rage

the Plot Moppets & the Potato Rage have got to be one of my favorite quotes from this particular posting.

“LOL…to most of the responses. Here’s the deal: If you want to be a part of something bigger than what you’re currently doing, join us.

who else thinks it sounds like she’s starting a cult? lol. i feel for the people who actually fall for this line of bullshite.

      P.S.
    Boo-Birds of the World Unite!

plot moppets and potato rage come from Redheadedgirl.  rock on, redheadedgirl, but you’ll have to work hard to top “boo bird”.

OK, I’ve been living in an editing cave for the past week and am just now reading this.

WTF in 20 pt. font! Are these people serious? This has got to be a joke—something put out there to get a response. And if it’s not a joke, then this so-called publisher needs to quietly slither away into the night. To all unpublished authors who are tired of receiving rejection notices: DO NO ENTER THIS BASTARD OF A CONTEST! It is NOT publication. It’s not even vanity press. It’s worse. It’s theft.

Unfortunately, some authors will bite thinking this is their way to success.