Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Oh, god.  Thank you, I laughed so hard the dogs came over to see what was wrong with me.  Why, oh, why does Fabio have margerine in his brief case?  Dare I speculate.

“Candy felt the hot hard passion of his love on the bed of love”

I was laughing so hard the tears were flowing!!!

Where’s the magnet for ManTitty? I can’t believe it’s not Mantitty!

Word Verify: size51

But he’s wearing a shirt!  A BUTTONED shirt! 

Poem:  “Your body is sweet honey.  Feel my hard hot passion against you.  I can’t wear a shirt.  Fork me forever.”

I about died.  Thx for sharing :)

Ohmigod, this is unbelievable!  I laughed so hard I ‘bout peed my panties.  The poetry!

1. Whatever they’re paying the writer who’s penned 2 seasons of Sprays of Their Lives? Not enough. By a longshot. BRILLIANT material.

2. I thought the purring white tiger was the funniest thing I’d ever heard. Until I heard the quiet background noise of Fabio’s voice asking me if I’d like him to read to me in front of the fireplace. My braying laughter may have shattered glass.

3. There is no “in” on that refrigerator. Or any “throbbing”. Major oversight.

My “poem” was:
Push me hard against the bed and spread your hot, delicious Candy-cream all over my behind.

You’re welcome.

Enjoy the bountiful cream from Candy spread lips.

Word verify: true23 so it must be true! LOL

Oh. My. Days. That is one of the funniest things I have ever EVER seen.

Going to have to come back and play some more tomorrow, but this has totally made up for an evening spent in a campus computer room (it’s after midnight here)

My ‘poem’?
Squeeze my favourite banana
I need hot honey heaven
Put our passion cream to use
Your kiss is chocolate friction

Nowhere near as good as some of the others posted, but I have to say, you haven’t lived until you’ve hards ComputerFabio declare ‘your kiss is chocolate friction’!

Need to stop giggling like a little girl before someone comes close enough to hear my my headphones!

Oh God, that site is killing me.

Behold, the sexiness of my poem, as read by Robot Fabio:

Sweet Candy
Bare Body
Touch, taste
Mine
Wild push-pull friction
Better than chocolate.

(Punctuation by me)

Oh, too fun!!!

Here are mine:

I kiss Candy hard when she touch my small melon
The flavor with butter is better than friction.

and

Excite me, Candy, and I will spray
The honey of our beautiful passion
On your shirt.

one more…

Candy, you taste of honey
and our love was my favorite breakfast
Before I felt passion
With the butter man.

Candy, you taste of honey
and our love was my favorite breakfast
Before I felt passion
With the butter man.

*dies* GENUIS. The line “our love was my favorite breakfast” is…beyond awesome.

PS -  You’re not implying Fabio is gay, are you?

Nah.  Just playing.  I busted a gut writing that one, tho.  (g)

Romance Candy,
With the Sweet Cream Taste.
Position your spread bare behind
Under Me.
Take my come spray Dreams.

OK OK *giggling like a maniac*  I have another one
“Candy use them hands up and down and squeeze my hard tub off love on your soft sexy behind”

*snicker*

OMG, “The Kitchen of Love” had me running for the washroom of relief ... To quote Fabio, “Let us ‘splore together ...”

My poetry:
Beautiful body. Flavor Sexy. Private Candy.
It’s not Butter down under.
His romance spread out gently beneath me.

I’m gonna have ‘wayyy too much fun with this site ...

Thanks for the sharing!

— Bonz

Candy
Spread your Bountiful
sweet mystery
My delicious
Passion melon

Hee Hee I feel soooooo dirty!

Excite me, Candy, and I will spray
The honey of our beautiful passion
On your shirt.

No way will anything equal that. I am bawling like a demented cow, and my hubby’s frowning and turning up the t.v. volume. I love it!

A last one from me and then I have to go write my chapter for the day. This one made me hurt myself laughing when Fabio read it. I have tears…

Candy, I heart your beautiful behind.
Please squeeze my small banana and maybe it spray passion cream on the desk.

*goes away, still giggling*

Take Me From Behind
Spread My Sweet Hot Lips
Push Hard Passionate Friction
And Spray Your Bountiful Love Cream

This is so funny! My husband heard this and was like “WTF?!”

*LMMFAO*

Let me just add here that I think we owe The Fabulous Fabio a round of applause for not taking himself too seriously.

Anyone who can do this with a straight face (what is up with that tiger?) deserves credit for being a good sport, and I hope he’s laughing all the way to the bank.

Candy, spread your sexy behind
place chocolate up it
you taste delicions honey.

This. Has. Made. My. Day.
I will be bookmarking Fabio for use on days when I need his gentle voice…

My effort:
I need your bountiful spread on my chocolate banana before you touch the date of firm man and use me

I also was wondering just who he was going to get romantic with in the traffic jam - the truck driver behind him?

My husband said he was really disturbed by hearing my little poem read by Fabio. *dies*

Candy,
please squeeze my favorite mellon and take our beautiful butter up your behind.

bare sweet body, hot honey
behind you push passionate
sweet cream spray
me happy, want breakfast

love the little ‘back to reality’ button, maybe I hit it too soon.

Candy, spray it
sweet cream of passionate flavor
come with me

Those words don’t exactly encourage sweetness do they.

OMG. This is too much fun.

Would I touch his bountiful private
To feel original head cream?
Our wild Candy spread out
Bare and soft with butter flavor!!!
(I know that was too many words, but I just had to!)

Breakfast favorite
Bare banana
Wild butter behind
Maybe the chocolate position
Feeling happy hard cheek cream
Be happy, Original Candy

And one more:
Favorite cover of Candy
Feel the body position
Spread out against bountiful, firm, bare cheek
Butter them up with come.

I’m stopping now, but only because I’m laughing so hard I can’t see!

Gotta love Fabio. And the way he says “position”.

BWAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Did anyone read the Fabio-grams and his pithy advice for finding romance in the everyday???

The ripped shirt one is a particular favorite of mine.

Holy hell, this is better than the Robo-Fabio.

Oh gosh!  I really shouldn’t read this stuff at work!  It’s bad enough trying not to laugh out loud… but my coworkers are going to think I’m insane (as if they don’t already) if they come in here and I’m laughing (silently, of course) so hard that I’m crying…  Oye… now I need to make a poem of my very own.  I will report back shortly.

Okay. So poking around the Fabio magnet poetry thing, we (two houseguests and moi) came up with this question:

Will “I can’t believe it’s not butter” adversely affect latex condoms? Because we want to be lubed…but we also want to be safe.

I think the Smart Bitches are admirably suited to answer this question…

Mine was:

Your sweet, passionate cream,
I can’t believe it’s not butter!

Large desk, small bed,
Bare fork adore hard melon.
I can’t believe it’s not corn.
Need Breakfast.

Hehe.

My man went to that site and played with the magnets after I told him about it. He would like me to post his contribution:

“I could do the up down forever tonight.”

This is late, but I never posted the one my husband did. It killed me.

The hard banana is here
I want head

Can’t really top some of these, but I went for subtlety:

Feel your small Candy melon

Friction excite passionate firm banana head.

My butter tub is full.

Hey, what’s a spraychel?

‘Will “I can’t believe it’s not butter” adversely affect latex condoms? Because we want to be lubed…but we also want to be safe.’

I don’t know if it affects latex, but I don’t think dairy products and feminine hygiene go well together.

But that’s the whole point, Mistress Stef - it’s NOT butter ;)

‘But that’s the whole point, Mistress Stef - it’s NOT butter ;)’

I can’t believe it!

Sweet friction: your behind against my passionate banana.

Chocolate passion beneath honey cream spread…

Squeeze, Candy!  And push hard.

“I will squeeze my hard hot banana gently to your bountiful bare melon.
The friction is delicious.”

Hilarious!