Bitchin' Blog Posts
Euphemsims: What What?
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | January 14, 2009 | Wednesday at 12:44 pm | 67 CommentsHave you ever wondered to yourself, “Self, I wonder what Sarah thinks about at 6:40 am before she’s had caffeine?”
Well, wonder no more. Here’s a sample!
Following the discussion during our last liveblog about the use of the word “prostate” during a sex scene in K.A. Mitchell’s Custom Ride, I got to thinking about the word “prostate.”
Within the context of m/m romance and sex scenes, the prostate is big pimpin, as stimulation thereof can yield mad happy pants, if you know what I’m saying.
Yet the discussion we had questioned the use of the word itself, since it’s rather clinical and we’re so used to the euphemism buffet when we talk about ye olde boot knockin’.
So I got to thinking some more: if m/m romance were written during the 80’s heyday of historical romance, what words would the major authors have used to refer to the prostate?
The clitoris was called anything from a “love nubbin” to “her center of pleasure.” There were rampant pikes, rigid arousals, and hardnesses everywhere.
So what would would they have used for the prostate? Butt nubbin? No, can’t use the word “butt.” Pleasure ridge? Deeply passionate tubuloalveolar exocrine gland?
Got any ideas?
Filed: Cross-Blog Debate: Smart Bitches and Dear Author, General Bitching, Random Musings, The Link-O-Lator
Tagged: what-what, wacky science, sex, make the burning stop, liveblog, gay romance, buttsecks, authors, angst
Ishie said on 01.14.09 at 01:30 PM • [link]
The cherry tomato in his exquisite salad?
Jessica Andersen said on 01.14.09 at 01:39 PM • [link]
love walnut?
Dena Hankins said on 01.14.09 at 01:40 PM • [link]
Sorry, but my favorite male-anatomy euphemism is for the “root” or “bulb” of the penis - the snackbar. Of course, right behind the snackbar, if you push up, you may be able to press fevered carresses upon his ticking time-bomb…
December Quinn/Stacia Kane said on 01.14.09 at 02:03 PM • [link]
The tender skin hiding between his muscular thighs, behind his manly treasure. Or behind the seat of his maculinity. The essence of his male power?
Jessica Andersen said on 01.14.09 at 02:11 PM • [link]
Dena said:
Snicker! Well, if we’re going for “things located behind the snack bar for five-hundred, please, Alex,” how about “smoothie maker”?
J.C. Wilder said on 01.14.09 at 02:17 PM • [link]
I vote for Butt-Nubbin. Then again, if women have a G-spot then maybe it should be called the B-spot?
Oh, and don’t add that second letter - you’ll have to brush your teeth if you do. :)
Lori said on 01.14.09 at 03:26 PM • [link]
Actually, it’s often referred to by a G spot equivilent, but it’s P spot, not B.
Teddypig said on 01.14.09 at 03:33 PM • [link]
embedded
ev said on 01.14.09 at 03:52 PM • [link]
Damn and the kid took her sex thesarus with her cause even with caffeine I am having no luck at all.
joanne said on 01.14.09 at 04:06 PM • [link]
Buried treasure.
Elizabeth Wadsworth said on 01.14.09 at 04:13 PM • [link]
umm…
“base of the stick-shift of his purring engine of masculinity”
Sarah Frantz said on 01.14.09 at 04:13 PM • [link]
I just recently read a m/m romance that was all about the medical terminology. So we had “he pushed his penis into partner’s rectum” all over the place. Yes, rectum is, in fact, the correct word. But really? Ew. While I’m all for correct terminology—if I had a girl, she would know all about her vagina, thank you—using “vagina” or “rectum” during the sexx0ring is strange to my ears. Or eyes, I guess. Prostate, though, I’m willing just to go with. I like the sound/look of the word. But not so much with rectum. Wonder why.
Rachel B. said on 01.14.09 at 04:28 PM • [link]
It should get the same treatment as the clitoris, definitely. Something like this:
“. . .her slender fingers tenderly searched out his most secret places, gently touching, penetrating his masculine mystery, enflaming his raging arousal to towering heights. As her digits discovered and stimulated his innermost point of arousal, his mind was overwhelmed with a dark haze of lust.”
There. How’s that? Nothing like a little sexx000ring to make my morning coffee sit right.
Fae Sutherland said on 01.14.09 at 04:31 PM • [link]
I use “his spot” interchangeably with “his prostate” in most of my books. I do assume if someone is reading m/m erotic romance my book is *probably* not their first and as such will know what spot I’m referring to. I also try not to abuse the use of the prostate, because really it’s not the same as a clit where every time gay guys have sex they’re messing around with it. I tend to use playing with the ‘spot’ as an extra oomph to a scene, like if one character wants to push their partner just a *little* farther.
Darlene Marshall said on 01.14.09 at 04:34 PM • [link]
“The exquisite hidden seed of pleasure.”
“The cherry that went with the Burma Sauce.”
“Massaging his man-nubbin.”
JoanneL said on 01.14.09 at 05:04 PM • [link]
Absolutlely a gender gap.
When I see/hear the work prostate
all I think about is ‘what were the numbers and is there something wrong and/or signs of cancer’.
Soooo no erotic thoughts with that one.
@Jessica Anderson: But there’s something about a Snickers Bar *g*
Anne Douglas said on 01.14.09 at 05:10 PM • [link]
No no!
“The OVERDRIVE BUTTON at the base of the stick-shift of his purring engine of masculinity” :)
I don’t know why, but ‘nailed his gland’ gets me every time. I’m really not sure why I dislike the phrase… maybe it has something to do with the psychological torture of helping my Dad with fencing on the farm as a kid, who knows. (My dad, not to tolerant of the girl (who was not a boy) not getting it right first time.)
Ann said on 01.14.09 at 05:37 PM • [link]
I always remember a book that called it the “Taint”. As it ain’t the penis and ain’t the anus. (I just snickered like a fourteen year old girl and my coworkers are looking at me funny).
bitterdark said on 01.14.09 at 05:45 PM • [link]
Didn’t Robin Schone once called it a walnut in one of her short stories?
Jennie said on 01.14.09 at 06:25 PM • [link]
Clearly I need more coffee—this conversation is making my brain hurt. :-)
Madd said on 01.14.09 at 06:27 PM • [link]
Can’t it just be his sweet spot? Simple and unsquicky.
robinb said on 01.14.09 at 06:33 PM • [link]
I will NEVER look at a walnut the same again. :)
Lita said on 01.14.09 at 06:36 PM • [link]
I seem to recall seeing it referred to as the “pleasure peanut” in m/m erotica, written by a man.
Stelly said on 01.14.09 at 06:44 PM • [link]
I don’t think I’ve ever seen it referred to as anything but the prostate even in all the m/m fanfiction I’ve read. Fanfic writers can be very floral in their writing.
Delia said on 01.14.09 at 06:44 PM • [link]
Someone hasn’t been reading enough slash fanfiction. :D
Spam word: long73
Becky Ann said on 01.14.09 at 07:17 PM • [link]
Thinking of the 80’s I would say “hidden love knot” for a quick phrase, but I love
from Rachel B.
Spamword: “plant99”
Out of planting 99 you should get at least one walnut!
Suze said on 01.14.09 at 07:40 PM • [link]
Ew, ew, ew! And especially, Ew! Said the girl stuck with toilet-cleaning duties in a household of men. With insufficient fibre in their diets.
I’ve recently learned the term “gooch”, referring to “guy cooch”, which apparently means the taint. (Learned from my cousin who formerly had the nickname “Gooch”. Until he learned the term.)
Lisa said on 01.14.09 at 07:43 PM • [link]
Well If they can shorten a word to, say, the clit how about we call it the Tate.
Maybe a littole to close to taint, though
Lori said on 01.14.09 at 08:01 PM • [link]
And here I am again showing that I somehow know way more about this than I should probably admit to in public.
I always remember a book that called it the “Taint”. As it ain’t the penis and ain’t the anus.
The “Taint” isn’t the prostate, it’s the space between the vagina or penis and the anus. A really sensitive area for some people, for others not so much.
The prostate is inside. It really is more analogous to the G spot than to the clit. Not all guys enjoy having it stimulated and liking it or not isn’t a gay/straight thing, it’s individual. It’s just that a lot of het guys are freaked out by it because it’s associated with “teh gay”.
JenB said on 01.14.09 at 08:03 PM • [link]
Ann, the taint is different from the prostate. A man’s taint (actually called the perineum) is the smooth section of outer skin between his scrotum and the anus. A woman’s taint is the smooth section of outer skin between the vagina and anus.
I think prostate sounds fine in m/m romance. It’s a lot better than “love button” or “pleasure gland”. I hate flowery language, especially when it’s applied to men.
Enough with the stroking of the soft, warm satin over steel. Just fuck already.
BTW, those of you that are clearly unfamiliar with the prostate’s location might find this helpful:
http://www.liv.ac.uk/researchintelligence/issue21/images/prostate.jpg
And if you’d like to dig for the buried treasure on your own, check this out:
http://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa/23_love_secrets.html
JenB said on 01.14.09 at 08:04 PM • [link]
Lori, we were writing at the same time. Great minds… ;)
elianara said on 01.14.09 at 08:26 PM • [link]
I don’t know, but I recall having heard it called “his happy button” or “wild button” by someone.
Aunt Lynn said on 01.14.09 at 08:52 PM • [link]
I pretty much only read m/m right now, so aside from just plain “prostate” (which may be the most common), I’ve heard it referred to:
butt nut
love nut
love button
magic button
hot button
the (or that) spot
special spot
hot spot
sweet spot
perfect spot
happy spot
magic spot
pleasure knot
pleasure center
snarkhunter said on 01.14.09 at 09:33 PM • [link]
Butt…nut?
Oh, dear.
(captcha: even79. As in, even 79 uses of that will not make it palatable.)
West said on 01.14.09 at 09:39 PM • [link]
His magical walnut button… (tongue firmly in cheek).
As long as it’s not called a “magical” or “walnut” anything, I’m good with just about any description.
Lori said on 01.14.09 at 10:11 PM • [link]
JenB thank you for making it not just me. Great minds indeed :)
JenB said on 01.14.09 at 10:24 PM • [link]
Lori - Clearly we both know far more about the ass than we should. I wonder what that says about us. o_O
rebyj said on 01.14.09 at 10:27 PM • [link]
The ” you’re so horny you’ll actually touch a dude’s butthole” button.
I asked the male unit what he’d call it, he said “Off limits”
Jessa Slade said on 01.14.09 at 11:01 PM • [link]
Okay, snorted my milk AND cookies out ma nose. Maybe instead of the external female “mound of Venus” we could have the internal male “button of Hades.”
Lori said on 01.14.09 at 11:11 PM • [link]
That we’re fun at parties?
Seriously, I tend to have these sorts of conversation in real life too. One group I used to hang out with included a woman I did not know well who was, let’s say, more conservative than I. At parties she would inevitably come around the corner just as I was offering my knowledge of something vaguely outre. She would then look at me like I was the second coming of the devil and flee the room. It became a running joke, but I felt bad about making her uncomfortable.
Leslie said on 01.14.09 at 11:46 PM • [link]
How about the “woo woo walnut”
Okay, who puts up the validation code? I am not freaking kidding: “came69”
Of course, m/m 69 can involve a little woo woo walnut play, and probably should…
Keira said on 01.15.09 at 01:04 AM • [link]
haha!
From m/m fanfic that I’ve stumbled across they usually refer to the sexual terms taint, penis, prostrate, and rectum for stimulation. I haven’t really seen anything that makes me think 80s terminology.
So I’m going to throw out Urban Dictionary references in the act and on the prostrate:
The center of all joy in a man’s body…
Walnut kind of shape…
Mangina…
Arse orgasm/Dry orgasm…
Mrs. Lovett said on 01.15.09 at 02:26 AM • [link]
Oh, dear, must I?
The hidden switch
The centre of his pleasure
The hot button
The jizz-switch (let it be known that I hate the word “jizz”. It sounds like a carbonated energy drink: mountain bikers hurling themselves off ledge, legs splayed like eagle’s wings, screaming “JIZZ!”)
“His aching interior” (Like what your Polish grandpa says at the end of a hard day of gardening. “Oooh, my achin’ interior!”)
The most baffling one I have ever heard is “o for operator”. O for operator? Seriously? Like, you only hit it in an emergency? Like you’ve been going at it for four hours and his face is turning purple and you’re afraid if it doesn’t end soon he’ll have an aneurysm?
Elizabeth Wadsworth said on 01.15.09 at 02:37 AM • [link]
ROFL! Somebody HAS to do the commercial for this drink and post it on YouTube.
Shiloh Walker said on 01.15.09 at 02:47 AM • [link]
Note to self….never drink and read one of Sarah’s posts when the post starts like this.
NickH said on 01.15.09 at 02:49 AM • [link]
As a gay man, I must point out that there are a few things up in there that are slightly more reminiscent of walnuts than the prostate. Usually, they’re not a good thing to come across. D:
In my experience, the prostate is more like a grape than a nut - sort of a soft, squishy patch that, when tickled, produces the most interesting reactions. Perhaps something more like “fluffy button”? :P
Of course, when actually having gay sex, the men I’ve been with actually do tend to be quite clinical in their descriptions, so calling it the prostate isn’t actually all that inaccurate. In fact, one time the word “manjina” came up mid-coitus, and I just couldn’t bring myself to keep going. :(
NickH said on 01.15.09 at 02:51 AM • [link]
PS: apologies for using “actually” more than once in a sentence.
amy lane said on 01.15.09 at 02:55 AM • [link]
Oh dear—I can’t think of anything you guys haven’t covered…
musky sweet spot (ick?)
pimple of pleasure (ick ick?)
baby hot potato (now that’s just weird…)
rigid inner sanctum of masculine lust (okay, that’s very 80’s)
inner nipple flipper (makes no sense, but consonance rocks!)
hidden whoopee button
the secret on-switch for old-faithful
the big cashew in the mixed bowl of nuts
or, (my favorite)
that secret bundle of screaming nerves that made him gnaw on the pillow
makes68… like, uhm, finding the prostate makes 68 feel like 69?
(Jen B—I absolutely KNEW you’d have something informative to add to this discussion! Don’t ask me how, but I knew…)
Ashwinder said on 01.15.09 at 03:17 AM • [link]
There’s got to be a joke about Grapenuts there, but I just can’t come up with it.
Anne D said on 01.15.09 at 04:21 AM • [link]
For those of you jizz problems:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4
Makes me laugh everytime.
NickH said on 01.15.09 at 04:27 AM • [link]
Ashwinder: that’s our solution!
“She tenderly massaged him, slipping the tips of her fingers deeper and deeper, then felt him convulse as she ran her nails over his quivering grapenuts…”
Word? Hope29
Ha!
rebyj said on 01.15.09 at 05:34 AM • [link]
I had to do it.. I went and looked up grape nut facts:
Go forth and giggle.
jacky said on 01.15.09 at 06:40 AM • [link]
Friends play an important part in our life. I find many nice friends at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^^^. They are honest and humorous. It is a nice site. Hope you can find more wealthy friends there.
Nicole said on 01.15.09 at 07:12 AM • [link]
A friend of mine (who happens to be gay) coined a phrase, or repeated it from a m/m book, not sure which. It still brings hilarity, and I apologize for inflicting it:
Clutching Man P—-y.
Lori said on 01.15.09 at 07:21 AM • [link]
@NickH
My sympathies. I can certainly see how that would kill the mood. I never would have thought anyone would use that outside bad internet porn. So sad.
AJane said on 01.15.09 at 08:19 AM • [link]
I’ve used pleasure knot in my writing, but that’s because the story takes place in a fantasy world and I wasn’t certain they would have the word prostate and well, it’s clinical.
OH said on 01.15.09 at 10:09 AM • [link]
Oh the show Weeds, two of the characters are on couches with a coffee table between them arguing about what that space is called. One of them calls out to the housekeeper, “Hey Lupita, settle an argument for us. What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?”
And she answers “The coffee table.”
Also, this clip on youtube from Weeds is very informative: masturbation lesson
amy lane said on 01.15.09 at 05:27 PM • [link]
OKay—because I’m a loser and euphemisms fascinate me, I was actually thinking about this as I fell asleep. I woke up with the words ‘love muffin’ firmly planted in my brain, and I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead.
MzSpell said on 01.15.09 at 07:48 PM • [link]
FWIW, I think Robin Schone referred to it as the almond, which sounds closer to grape size than walnut size.
already29…yes, I’ve had similar thoughts
Keira said on 01.15.09 at 08:22 PM • [link]
Weeds is awesome - I saw that episode and when Lupita said that I think I about died from laughter.
I can see where mangina/manjina would totally be a mood killer. I’m sure other terms would do the same. It sounds insulting now that I think about it on the same level as cunt. cRude instead of sexy.
Lori said on 01.16.09 at 12:44 AM • [link]
My issue with mangina/manjina and all it’s even cruder cousins is that they equate receptivity with femaleness in a way that seems demeaning and sexist and asshat-y. That sort of thing always makes me want to smack the person——and not in the fun way.
Flo said on 01.16.09 at 01:21 AM • [link]
I don’t know why but all I can think of is a guy on Alli and then trying this and someone thinking “Hey… natural lubricant!”
It makes me terrified of assholes.
I know… I have issues!
However, in the face of the game… why not his butt bean? Or perhaps his “ticket to heaven” oooor “his O Face spot”
Vicki said on 01.16.09 at 02:40 AM • [link]
Well, in medical school, it was described (this was in the seventies) as a spongy mound, also as a large soft walnut. We were advised not to be concerned if palpating it caused the patient to have an erection. There were amazing rumors about classmates practicing these exams on each other…. If there is not a story idea in there, I’ll be surprised.
yes 19!
lizziebee said on 01.16.09 at 05:29 AM • [link]
This whole comment thread made me giggle.
Jen said on 01.16.09 at 10:12 PM • [link]
A long time ago before erotic romance was hitting the scene, I did read an anal scene (it was M/F, though, so I don’t know if it counts), but he “plundered her wasteland.”
And the Mister says that the other word for ‘taint’ is ‘chin rest.’
Jess said on 01.17.09 at 04:04 AM • [link]
Thankyou for all the laughs
Ive thought on it and I think I prefer prostate or gland…both are clinical but they just seem more realistic to me.
After this convo I’m probably going to be forever making lists of different names for it in future books I read LOL
Marame said on 01.17.09 at 04:58 AM • [link]
Along the same lines, assgasm seems very appropriate. Brings to mind all manner of sloppy bottoms. And that ain’t just reserved for men, either.
Care to comment?
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