Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

“My Family and Other Animals” by Gerald Durrell is my go-to book if I’m feeling down.  I’ve given it to several friends who have been going through bad times and they’ve loved it.  It’s funny, interesting and you can almost feel the sun on your face when you read it.

It used to be the Pern series before I got a clue and discovered the internet.  Then the shiny wonderfulness of it faded away. :(

Now I drift towards epic tales that tend to focus on the sensations.  If I want to read about males I go play in L. E. Modessitt’s world and real about the olives and spicy lamb and flat bread and the strange order chaos balance of his world.

If I feel like females (huhhuhhuh) I read Kristian Brittain’s Green Rider series.  Watching her characters struggle through huge mistakes and life choices that were shoved upon them is sort of soothing.

But in the end if I’m missing my mommy and the world seems like it’s going to hell in a handbasket I read “The Chosen Baby” and remind myself that SOMEONE wanted me enough to wait three years for me to appear.  Which is pretty darn cool.

I STINK was awesome to read to the kiddos in pre-school.  They loooooooved it.

My respite books have been, for maybe 20 years, the Riddle of the Stars trilogy by Patricia A. McKillip, one of the premier fantasy writers living.  I first read them in junior high school, as each was published - and they were the only books I allowed myself to pack in my college-bound luggage.  I’ve owned the omnibus trade-sized for years - but my original editions, with the great Darrell K. Sweet covers (now badly worn) still have a place of pride on my bookshelves.

The writing is so lyrical and the story so compellingly original - a fantasy that didn’t need to be a Tolkien retread (no elves or dwarves or orcs or trolls), and the story is, at it’s heart, a mystery that doesn’t resolve itself until the very end.

When I’m sad, tired and worn out, this is the book I pull off the shelf - and if I’m alone - I’ll read a paragraph or two out loud, such so I can savour it.

I go for comfort-blanket familiarity when I’m down, and read Jennifer Crusie or Terry Pratchett.  But I’m leery of recommending both authors to friends, since I’d done this in the past and had the, “Yeah, couldn’t get into it,” response, which is heartbreaking when it’s something you really love.

The one success I had was with Bridget Jones, but I wouldn’t pass that on to anyone with stomach problems because you’ll laugh so hard it’ll hurt worse.

I recently discovered Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, by Winifred Watson, and it’s become an instant favourite. It’s set in 1930s London and is gentle, witty, and delightful. It has a lovely touch of romance, too. Don’t bother watching the recent film - or at least, read the book first.

Otherwise, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett has always been my go-to book after bad dreams, bad days, or bad tempers.

The Blue Castle, by L.M. Montgomery of Anne of Green Gables fame is one of my favorites. Oh, I love that book. It always makes me feel better! A Wrinkle in Time is a good one too, and Peace Like a River. Oh, and Dogsbody by Diana Wynne Jones, which is an incredibly sweet YA SF/Fantasy book about a dog (sort of) and an extremely sad (for good reasons) girl.

It used to be the Pern series before I got a clue and discovered the internet.  Then the shiny wonderfulness of it faded away. :(

?? Being a friend of Todd’s, that comment intrigued me. The Pern books (actually almost any of Anne’s books) are still my go tos.

A second for Terry Pratchett here—any of the City Watch books featuring Sam Vimes are comfort food (one of CMOT Dibbler’s sausages onna bun?) for my brain.

Another favorite, which has become my traditional yearly Christmas/Winter Solstice read, is Susan Cooper’s The Dark Is Rising.  Forget the movie The Seeker, which sounded as though it was altered almost beyond recognition (no, I couldn’t bring myself to see it)—Cooper’s prose is lovely and lyrical and she incorporates Arthurian myth and themes of good vs. evil into a modern (1970’s) setting.

What a wonderful idea!
Even though I’m the first to grab a comfort book from my keeper shelf when my life sucks,  I never thought about giving books rather then food or flowers to friends who are suffering.  It’s something that the person can appreciate at their own pace in their own time.

But finding the right book for someone, especially an older person who has suffered a loss and who might need the book in Large Print, seems to be an especially daunting task. Helene Hanff’s Charing Cross Road is a favorite of mine and perhaps the perfect gift.

I look forward to more comfort read suggestions for all age groups from your readers.

it depends on the kind of “down” i am, but my top three things to read when i’m in a funk are:
1) any nora roberts
2) The Giver, by Lois Lowry
3) Siddhartha, by Herman(n?) Hesse.

Nora gives me sex and a happy ending and interesting people and so much more. The Giver is just…the most amazing book ever. and Siddhartha, while many people hate it or cant handle the prose, just takes me away to some other place and makes my worries seem inconsequential.

oh, and about once a year when i feel like i have nothing else i want to read, i go back to Diana Gabaldon and/or Sara Donati and spend a few days/weeks reading through their series.

Not a book, but a film- Truly, Madly, Deeply with Juliet Stevenson and Alan Rickman- wonderful- helped me tremendously after my mother died.

Jane Austen for me, esp. P+P or Persuasion.  Georgette Heyer.  I still go to the romance.

Throwing in my vote with the Discworld fans.  I’ll hit up Carpe Jugulum or Hat Full of Sky.  I love the witches.

I also go after Neil Gaiman’s Sandman…any and all. 

Books that went instantly from unknown to my reread in times of need list are Lynn Flewelling’s Luck in the Shadows and Stalking Darkness. *sigh*  There’s such a subtle and lovely m/m romance that runs through these without taking away from a delicious intrigue plot.  (Now with my sister because she needed the more than I, but I miss them!)

Couple of books here ...

The Narnia books by CS Lewis

The Outermost House by Beston

Robinson Crusoe by Defoe

Beautiful Swimmers—Watermen Crabs and the Chesapeake Bay by Warner

Beekeeping at Buckfast Abbey by Brother Adam

String Figures and How to Make them by Furness

Letters on an Elk Hunt, by a Woman Homesteader by Stewart

Winnie the Pooh by Milne

Sand Country Almanac by Leopold

The Maple Sugar Book by Nearing

Somebody in the hospital, and hurting, I send Calvin and Hobbes.

Flowers and candy are standard because they are easier to choose! I would always rather have a good book, but it is hard to pick for others unless you know their tastes well. The couple times people gave me books to cheer me up in times of stress, I hated the books (Tuesdays with Morrie and some lowest-common-denominator-prose Christian inspirational book about femininity). Then I felt even worse because 1) I was afraid if I said I didn’t like the book the giver’s feelings would be hurt, 2) if I lied they might give me more books of the same sort, and 3) I was irritated by having wasted my time reading them.

But of course it was a kind thought.

The Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver.  I can’t really explain why except each time I read that book I renew my love for nature and can’t even look at a spider the same way (which is usually with great fear, lol).  Love that book for a real deep feel good feeling.

But I’m still a romance girl at heart.  Anything by Nora is an instant comfort read for me.

I have gifted several people (probably at least 15 over the past 5 years) with either “What’s the Matter with Henry?” (about a 3-legged cat), “Normal is Just A Setting on a Dryer”,  Jamie Lee Curtis’ “Today I Feel Silly” or Sandra Boynton’s “Barnyard Dance” when they have been in bad funks. 

Luckily, all have taken the gifts in the spirit it was intended…as my card will either state “take the time to feel silly today” or “Sing and dance your way through the book…I dare you” or “don’t let a 3-legged cat be better than you” or “is your goal to be a dryer…I think not.”

Probably the idea that someone cared enough to do something to try to change their mood was more important than the book, but I know that 2 of my friends have “Silly” and “Henry” as part of their stack of books on their family room coffee tables.

I second Sarah Frantz with reading Austen’s P&P;and Persuasion!

If my escape reads are any indication, I must be a huge Connie Willis fangirl. I’ve read Bellwether so many times I’ve had to replace the book twice, and I’m not hard on books - usually. I’ve also worn out a copy of Impossible Things, one of her collections of short stories - “Even the Queen” is fabulous, “Ado” makes me laugh out loud regardless of my mood, and “Spice Pogrom” reminds me of all those Cary Grant movies I love.

Robin McKinley’s Sunshine is also a favorite escape of mine.

I went through a really rough patch last year health-wise, and there were several books that helped me escape.

Everything Lois McMaster Bujold, but I especially read Ethan of Athos over and over.

Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer

Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen (her second book The Sugar Queen is excellent as well)

Lover Eternal and Lover Awakened by J.R. Ward

All the Mercy Thompson books and the novella “Alpha and Omega” by Patricia Briggs

I don’t know if they’d help anyone else, but these books brought me through some difficult times. 

Someone above mentioned The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery- that’s been a comfort read for me since I was about 12.  I’ve read it so many times I wore out the original copy and had to buy a new one.

After our son died, I couldn’t read at all for a while. It was a big loss (well, both losses were big), because I had always read for comfort. I was also working away from home so the inability to read was worse. One of my co-workers who was always reading on her breaks offered to pass her books on to me just to have them around. They were a totally mixed bag, travel, romance, murder. The first one I was able to read (and that she recommended I try) was The Pact by Jodi Picoult. I probably would not have read it if I’d known it was about suicide (our son’s cause of death) but it was, in a very weird way, healing. I don’t know that I would recommend a specific book for greiving friends but what my friend did, surrounding me with books she had liked, that was good.

So sorry to hear that, Vicki. 

But it makes me wonder: is it (generally speaking) a good idea to give people books about the issues they’re facing?  Or to give them books to escape the issue completely for a while?

When my best friend’s dad died we sat and watched movies for a while, and I told her I’d just got the DVD of Elizabethtown, thinking Orlando Bloom might cheer her up.  Of course, I’d forgotten the film starts with the death of the hero’s father!  She vetoed it on those grounds, and we watched one of the earlier Harry Potters instead, for total escapist comfort.

I’m with Sarah Frantz on Austen’s P & P and Persuasion. I also tend to go for mystery novels I’ve already read once, and young adult books like Howl’s Moving Castle or The Ordinary Princess. And, of course, To Say Nothing of the Dog because I also love Connie Willis.

My grandmother is recovering from some health problems right now and I sent her Julia and Romeo Get Lucky by Jeanne Ray because I remember thinking that Step-Ball-Change was one of the lightest and funnest books I’ve read in a long time. And I sent her the first Jane Austen Mystery by Stephanie Barron because they’re awesome.

Vicki, I am sorry to hear about your loss. My boyfriend died from injuries sustained in a car crash this summer (he did not cause the crash) and I, too, found myself unable to read for awhile. I understand what you mean by the double loss. One of the first books that I did read was Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking. It was recommended to me and I found it to be enormously helpful, if only to know that grief is a maddening kaleidoscope of pain for anyone who feels it. And as a bonus, I realized that I hadn’t lost my ability to disappear into a book.

Since then, it’s been a mixed bag - I think “comforting” can mean different things at different times. At first I found fiction itself to be difficult; now, oddly, I find myself seeking romance. I think I want to believe in that love does conquer all, that magical things can happen, and that it will be okay in the end.

Long time reader, first time poster here. Reading has been an escape/comfort for me since I was young and growing up with an abusive father. I remember reading The Secret Garden over and over,  wanting to escape to the English moors. I can trace my love of the wounded, mysterious hero back to this book.

My favorite book is Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn. It’s full of humor and magic and humanity. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy always makes me laugh out loud. And since we’re including children’s books The Runaway Bunny and the Very Hungry Caterpillar both remind me of my mother. It’s like getting a hug from her when I can’t see her.

And Vicki, I also express my deepest condolences. I can’t imagine a loss like that and commend you on the strength to get through.

I don’t think I’d necessarily give it as a gift to someone who needed comforting, but I’ve frequently turned to Time Enough For Love by Robert Heinlein. The story is always engrossing to me, so it’s helpful as an escape. At the same time it discusses, from multiple approaches, the question of what makes a good life? What is valuable, what really matters? It always inspires me to count my blessings and to focus on the positive aspects of life - not in a sappy way and not without ignoring or discounting hardships. I don’t think this word is generally applied to Heinlein :-) but it gives me a sense of the holisitic possibilities of life.

i’m so happy to see others agreeing with me. ;)

i second McKillip (wait, there was a *third* book in that series? Amazon Ahoy!) and Miss Pettigrew. The latter reminded me a lot off _Daddy Long Legs_ by Jean Webster. Gentle and yet determinedly correct.

when i’m down, i usually read pratchett or bujold, with an occasional robin mckinley.

The Blossom Culp books by Richard Peck. I don’t know why more people haven’t read them, but everyone I’ve passed them on to has loved them. They’re juvenile/YA novels about a teenage pyschic from the wrong side of the tracks in early 1900s America. There are four (The Ghost belonged to me, Ghosts I have been, The Dreadful future of Blossom Culp, and Blossom Culp and the Sleep of Death). All but the first are narrated by Blossom, and she has one of the best narrative voices I have ever read—engaging and often hilarious. They’re some of my favorite escape and respite books and I’d pass them on to everyone if possible. I only wish there were more!

Oo.

Ooo.

OOOOO!

I know the answer to this! My mother and I have actually hung onto a book we save especially for extremely stressed-out people.

Murder Gets a Life, by Anne George.

We’ve loaned it to an aunt, a friend of the family, and the librarian at the local elementary school.

The characters strongly reminded my aunt of her own mother and aunt.

The friend of the family said she started reading it on her back porch early one morning, and the neighbors thought she’d gone crazy because she was cackling.

And the librarian said much the same—people were asking if she was allright, because she was laughing her head off.

It really is a stress-relieving book, and it (and the rest of the Anne George Southern Sisters books) has my total recommendation for being bought or reviewed or whatever.

I love the Dark is Rising sequence!  So good, and so overlooked.  If someone asks me about it, I try to describe it as Harry Potter by Ingmar Bergman, but there you go.

Me, I used to read Elizabeth Peters/Barbara Michaels for comfort (and still sometimes do), but Vonnegut was the one who really got me through the tough times.  I think there’s something very comforting about hearing that life is supposed to be tough - that you’re not alone, and life is sometimes a big dark joke told to no-one.  Saints are people who try to make it easier for others.

Everything Lois McMaster Bujold, but I especially read Ethan of Athos over and over.

Isn’t that the sweetest, nicest story?  I love Ethan.  Bujold is amazing.  She can give you a story full of all kinds of Big Questions, not answer them, and still leave you feeling like all’s right in the world(s).  I wonder if she’ll ever do a story in which Athos is featured, after all the recessive genes have come to the fore.  I wonder how that will change their society.

I have a co-worker in the hospital right now, and I can give him nothing, because I’ve discovered that I don’t know him well at all.  I don’t even know if he’d prefer Sudoku or cross-word puzzles.  I’m pretty sure he’s not a reader, though.

My go-to comfort reads vary depending on my hormone cycle, my mood, the weather, and what I’m down about.  They’re pretty sure to be romances, though, because of the genre-defining HEA.  A book that ends leaving me feeling hopeful or contented is a nice, nice thing.

When I’m down I go for some of my favorite children’s and YA fiction, most with magic/fantasy elements:
-When Pigs Fly by Emily Rodda
-Down a Dark Hall by Lois Duncan
-The Magic Grandfather by Jay Willams
-Julie by Cora Taylor
-The Forgotten Door by Alexander Key

These are great comforts.

I also like turning to my favorite picture books, some funny, some sweet, such as:
-Tuesday by David Weisner (fantasy, uplifting)
-Click Clack Moo: Cows That Type by Doreen Cronin and Betsy Lewin (Funny)
-Martha Speaks by Susan Meddaugh (funny, word related)
-Learning to Fly by Sebastian Meschenmoser (uplifting, inspiring)
-Un Brella by Scott E Franson (fantasy, upllifting)
-Chester by Melanie Watt (funny)
-Imagine a Day by Sarah Thomson and Rob Gonsalves (fantasy, uplifting)
-Up and Up by Shirley Hughes (fantasy, uplifting)

and so many more in both major categories

Georgette Heyer, for definite. Also Maeve Binchy and Marian Keyes and some of Jodi Picoult’s books. And the magnificent Terry Pratchett. Also, MM Kaye’s The Ordinary Princess and LM Alcott’s Little Women. And oddly, the darkness of Dennis Lehane is usually comforting

I discussed with a librarian friend of mine the possibilty of arranging my book collection according to mood - keep all the books that make me feel happy in one area, weepies in another etc etc. :-)

Vicki and L - my thoughts are with you.

To be honest, I never thought about gifting a book to someone rather then flowers. Saying that, close friends of mine gave me a book voucher rather than flowers when my mother passed away last year. I’ve lost 3 family member in the last 20 months and have had to place two more in care (I’m Power of Attorney for them both) and am currently in the process of selling my grandmother’s house.

For me, any book that can completely enthrall me (and draw me away from here) is perfect. The weird thing is, when I thought about your question Sarah my first thought was The Last Herald Mage trilogy by Mercedes Lackey. I discovered them when I was a teen - they went to university with me and were read and re-read, and when I packed them away and went to live in the UK…well, I bought them again. As today is not a good day (I guess we all go through those) I think I might go home tonight and pull them out. Yes, they make me cry but there is joy in there too, and I think that any book that can get you to believe that you might feel that joy again is the right book, whatever it may be :)

orannia

The Flight series is a great series to get into. It’s a collection of short comics (collected and edited by Kazu Kibuishi) all about flight, whether it be flight via airplanes, the superpower of flight, or even kites—all used by characters who are trying to escape something in order to find something new. Each book collection gets thicker and thicker (I believe there are six now), but it is one of the few comic books that really catches my interest, sucks me in and gets me into that “happy place” no matter how I am feeling or what my current situation is.

Highly recommended.

I haven’t had personal tragedy so far that needed special books (when I have exam anxiety no book really works), but standing in front of my shelves the following books come closest:

- Nora Roberts, The Born in ... trilogy (and a lot of her category
romances, especially the McGregor ones)
- Lois McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campaign (probably only works if you’ve read the other Miles Vorkosigan books)
- Emma Bull, War for the Oaks (I just love the mental images of music and fairy to save the world)j

None of these are conflict free or calming as such, I’d think. Hmm. My two cents. Oh and congrats on the election, USA!

?? Being a friend of Todd’s, that comment intrigued me. The Pern books (actually almost any of Anne’s books) are still my go tos.

It’s really the whole “gay by tent peg” and realizing that the blue and green dragon riders were gay yet not.  It didn’t even OCCUR to me that there was that kind of relationship.  Not even between the Queen riders and the Bronze.  I know… I lived under a rock.  But it was a happy rock! :)

After I realized there was that edge of sexuality in the books I got confused and it changed the way the whole series felt to me.  Although I will ALWAYS love Robinton and Menolly the most.  But they were both geared toward young children.

Addendum: Comicbookwise I uttery love Linda Medley’s Castle Waiting - here’s a bit of a review by Yafantasy.com and one by me. It’s utterly female empowering and takes on the old fairy tale stories. The guys are mostly great, too. The Volume two pamphlets can also be bought, no second collection yet in sight. The author seems to continue to work slowly but surely. The atmosphere of the books is just so very tolerant, relaxing with gentle humour…

I agree with L.M.Montogomery’s The Blue Castle. No matter how blue I am, that book reminds me that with courage and guts, you can completely change your life and be utterly happy.

My comfort books that remind me of childhood are the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Laura is such a brave little heroine and tells her story wonderfully.

Pretty much any HEA book works to help me feel better. I’ve never thought of giving a book to a sick or depressed friend but I definitely will now.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland always lays a smile on my brain.

The Blossom Culp books by Richard Peck. I don’t know why more people haven’t read them, but everyone I’ve passed them on to has loved them.

These are great!  The first in the series, The Ghost Belonged to Me, is by far my favorite (the narrative voice reminds me almost of Mark Twain), but the later volumes narrated by Blossom, are a lot of fun too.

All the Mercy Thompson books and the novella “Alpha and Omega” by Patricia Briggs

Becky…you may or may not be aware, but Patricia Briggs has expanded on the story from “Alpha and Omega” and turned out a full-length novel about Anna and Charles entitled “Cry Wolf” I own it; it’s really good. Also, you might check out some of her previous fantasy stuff; it’s really good.

My personal comfort reading varies depending on my mood; but usually when I’m going through a stressful time, I like to revisit previously read books or new books by favorite authors (la Nora, Terry Pratchett, Mercedes Lackey, etc.). Usually I NEED a HEA, or at least for good to triumph, but sometimes it’s more about humor. Either way, my personal library consists of books I liked enough to want to reread over and over again, so I can usually find something to suit me.

In the laughing your butt off vein, my husband recently discovered “Whales on Stilts” by M.T. Anderson. Any book where the first line is “On Career Day Lily visited her dad’s work with him and discovered he worked for a mad scientist who wanted to rule the earth through destruction and desolation” has me hooked.

Anne of Green Gables has always been one of my favourite comfort books and during my leaving cert (final exams in secondary, you take them at seventeen) I re-read the novelisations of the star wars movies (original trilogy, this was a while back) before going into the exam hall, i needed something to think about during the three hours maths papers. Also, there’s a great website called pjsandprose.ie that had the same idea they sell books and pyjamas for “cosy emergencies”

Oh man, The Blue Castle, absolutely. Loved it as a girl, love it today. Same with Dogsbody, excellent book.

Also seconding the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder—whenever I’m bored or fretful or need to take my mind off things, I’ll open up On the Banks of Plum Creek and disappear.

When I need to escape into fun and hilarity, I’ll open up an earlier Stephanie Plum book.

And when I’m maudlin, I’ll read one of two books by Anne Lamott: Operating Instructions or Traveling Mercies. Or one of her fiction books, All New People, which has one of the most wonderful opening chapters I’ve ever read. Anything by Anne Lamott makes me happy, actually, even if the stories deal with sad or depressing subjects.

***

Vicki, L, and everyone else on this list who’s shared your loss with us, my deepest condolences.

Thanks, Orianna, and my condolences to you also. I had my dad’s power of attorney when he died this spring. Hard decisions.

I, too, like Mercedes Lackey and have reread the Arrows of the Queen trilogy many times for comfort. I also like Madeline Brent and Victoria Holt. I recently gave Bride of Pendorric to a young friend who wasn’t sure she would like romances and she loved it.

So much loss here and, yet, so much love. What a great group we bitches are.

Orianna, I extend my thanks and best thoughts as well.

I think that any book that can get you to believe that you might feel that joy again is the right book, whatever it may be

How right you are and how beautifully said! :-)

My father died when I was a teenager, and my teacher gave me Charlotte Sometimes, a truly beautiful novel about a young girl at boarding school who switches places with another young woman who lived there a century before.

After all these years, it remains on my keeper shelf, but I’ve never been able to read it again. Reminds me too much of that time. However, I highly recommend it to everyone else :). Wonderful escapism, and the writing is just amazing.

Thank you Vicki and L.

Sarah - Whales on Stilts sounds brilliant :) Luckily my library has a copy so I am going down there tomorrow to borrow it!

Patricia Briggs has expanded on the story from “Alpha and Omega” and turned out a full-length novel about Anna and Charles entitled “Cry Wolf” I own it; it’s really good. Also, you might check out some of her previous fantasy stuff; it’s really good.

Cry Wolf was good, too.  In fact, it’s our book club selection for November over at Kelley Armstrong’s website.  I’m leading the discussion this month, such as it is.  We’re a pretty casual bunch.  Come on over and join the discussion.

Historical fantasy isn’t usually my thing (LOTR was a wall banger for me, although I loved The Hobbit) but I’ve read and enjoyed just about everything Briggs has published.  There are a couple more in my TBR pile, but I’m reserving them for a rainy day!

What a great topic! 

A couple of years ago when I had my second miscarriage, a good friend came over to visit.  It was only the day after we found out I think, and she brought a “comfort basket”.  Included was a lasagne to feed an army so I wouldn’t have to cook, some decadent chocolate ice cream, actual chocolate, some kind of sugary drink, some alcohol (!) and a book - Hosea by Francine Rivers.  It is a Christian romance book modeled on the book of Hosea from the Bible.

It took a little while before I was up to reading anything but a couple of weeks (I guess) later, I picked up Hosea and devoured it.  I had read romance novels ad nauseum as a teenager, then moved to thrillers and science fiction/fantasy.  I hadn’t read a romance book in years and years. 

In Hosea, I found an escape from the pain I was in, a place where I could go where things didn’t hurt and I didn’t have to think. A place where there was enough noise that it quieted the horrid buzz in my head.  A place where there were happy endings. 

After I finished the book, I dug out some of my older romance novels (of the few I had kept) and re-read all of them.  Then I started buying them.  Now, I have a ridiculously large TBR pile, and far too many books to store neatlly.

When I couldn’t leave the house, I escaped to other countries in a romance novel.  When I had the next miscarriage, the romance novel helped me to get through that too, as well as reminding me that after tragedy sometimes good things can happen and it’s okay to hope.

For a really long time I read mostly to escape my reality and I’d read 5-6 books a week.  Eventually, and with a little help, I came out of the depths and now I read for pleasure - which means, I have re-engaged with life so I have less time to read.  I maybe get through 2-3 books a week nowadays.

I don’t really have any specific titles to recommend for gifts for those who are struggling - but I wanted to say that gifting someone a happy ending in a time of trouble can be immensely comforting and I am grateful for my friend’s gift to me - who knows what I may have done if I didn’t have that outlet.

So, all you ladies above who have had a similar experience, I know what it’s like and my thoughts are with you. I hope that, like me, you had good friends to help you up again.

And, for all romance readers - I say unto you: Be not ashamed when a bloke asks what sort of books you like to read and rolls his eyes when you tell him “romance”.  Tell him: “There’s not enough happy endings in this world and you gotta get them from somewhere.”

My comfort reads run the gamut when it comes to genres.  One is the Heralds of Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey.  I read the first book when I was 14 and in a VERY dark place in my life.  I reread them at least once a year.  :)

The other is Years by LaVyrle Spencer.  Without a doubt, one of my all-time favorite books.

I also recommend books that make me smile, like the MacGregor series by Nora Roberts or Secrets of a Summer’s Night by Lisa Kleypas.

I’m big on books that make my heart feel good.  :D

I remember mentioning the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society in a comment when you asked for book recommendations.  It’s still a favourite, and one I’ve given as a present.

For a recently widowed friend, though I gave her Outlander by Diana Gabaldon (or Cross Stitch, if you’re in Australia/UK), because it creates such an engrossing, layered world.  Space in which to get lost, for a while.

If you want a kids’ book loved by pretty much any kid I’ve ever met, try The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew That It Was None Of His Business by Holzwarth and Erlbruch.  It’s about poo.  What’s not to like?  From littlies to teenagers, they laugh and love it.

For those who have shared their losses, thank you for trusting us with your stories.

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Click, clack, moo: Cows that type- LOVE- always has me laughing and is one I’ve given to folks who need silly
Fox in Socks- is one I always had with me at college- during finals week we would be out in the halls of the dorm reading it fast and giggling so hard the text anxiety just floated away
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day- it helps put certain things in perspective

I’ve given picture books to people who are having a hard time, but have never really thought of giving other kinds of books

Dorothy Dunnett is my go to author when I know I am in for yet another hospital admit with my kid.  Also my go to author when I am waiting to see if he needs an admit.

Bujold always as well and Heyer.

Oh and Nigel Slater the cookbook writer.  I take great comfort from his Kitchen Diaries.

As someone who experienced a loss this year, I want to say thank you.  I don’t know why people think that anyone in mourning would be able to care for a plant (though amazingly mine have survived).  The one thing that touched me the most was a friend who sent me a book.

After I lost my husband in June, when I was finally able to read again, it was the complete Harry Potter series that lifted me from the fog.  Such courage, such friendships, such hope.  I wept, a lot, but it was healing in a way I couldn’t have predicted.

I discovered this book quite by accident last night while flipping through a bookstore catalogue:

Dewey The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched The World (Vicki Myron)

http://www.deweyreadmorebooks.com/

I haven’t read it yet, but it sounds absolutely gorgeous.

I do love when you have these recommend posts - I always find a couple of excellent reads and new authors from them.

My go-to get well, feel better, book is Alan Jay Lerner’s The Street Where I Live.  This is a book that both men & women can enjoy.  It’s pure charming entertainment.  Lerner was the lyricist of the Lerner & Lowe musical writing duo.  And he has some wonderful stories. His story about his rolls royce and chauffeur is a classic. I’ve heard back from several people we’ve given this book to, and I think it’s just one of those universally enjoyable books.  Maybe more-so for the age-40 & up crowd? But really, anyone who likes stories told around a table would enjoy this.

It’s really the whole “gay by tent peg” and realizing that the blue and green dragon riders were gay yet not.  It didn’t even OCCUR to me that there was that kind of relationship.  Not even between the Queen riders and the Bronze.  I know… I lived under a rock.  But it was a happy rock! :)
After I realized there was that edge of sexuality in the books I got confused and it changed the way the whole series felt to me.  Although I will ALWAYS love Robinton and Menolly the most.  But they were both geared toward young children.

I will admit I started reading Anne’s books when I was a child- mom gave me her first one just after it came out. I fell in love. (hence the BookWyrm). It took many years before I realized what was going on. It didn’t bother me- what did was that they were all guys!! (And no, I am not gay, I just believe in equal opportunity).

I have it on good authority (ahem!) that the upcoming stories will change that outlook.

Although Anne still has her hands on the stories, Todd is the one doing the majority of the writing these days. I am glad to see that when the sad day comes and we loose her, that they stories will continue. It was shaky in the beginning, but he has really taken the series in so many new directions, I am dying to read the new one and soon!!

When I need reading familiarity or a good comfort read, I pick up The Thorn Birds, or A Gift Upon the Shore by MK Wren.  The latter is out of print I think and copies of both books have been loved like the velveteen rabbit they are frayed and old.

I am not sure if it’s the nostalgia or just the smell of the old books that makes me feel safe, that along with both having good stories.

One other kinda related thing to mention: a box of fortune cookies is an excellent thing to take to someone in hospital (even if they’re on a restricted diet and can’t eat them themselves). 

So often, ‘hospital visiting’ conversation revolves around the present - how are you, what’s the food like, what happened today, boxed by current circumstances.  But a fortune cookie (whether you think they’re foolish or not) flips the conversation to the future, and other things, maybe memories, maybe plans and hopes.  And the patient can offer them to staff, and other visitors as conversation starters/shifters.

Huh, that’s interesting that some people didn’t twig to the sexual content in the Pern books. That’s precisely what I liked about them as an overheated 14-15-16 year old. I thought the gay stuff was pretty blatant for the time (but then again, it turned out that I was queer too). I even did a book report for school on the McCaffrey short story collection that included a story about a straight woman having a gay man’s child.

So it wasn’t the sex I grew out of, or the crush I had on Menolly (as I realised later) - it’s the fact that the sexual politics are just a little too retro for me to find enjoyable. They were pretty progressive for their time (hello, the women dragonriders and all that - and the fact that the society was evolving into a more equal basis), but all the men being rugged men (except the green and blue riders) and the women being rugged women (or whatever) just bores me after a while. Definitely books of their time, and I do sometimes wander through one or two of them now (interestingly, McCaffrey’s SF doesn’t bug me so much).

As for comfort books, I second Bujold’s A Civil Campaign, which is pretty much always preceded by Komarr. I actually think those two books could stand alone (although it’d be much more enjoyable to read them after the rest of the Miles books).

I love Madeline L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, A Wind Through the Door, and A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Big shout-outs to the Dark is Rising series too.

I would tend not to agree with Lackey recommendations for difficult times. She seems to like to address traumatic issues, and if I can put up with her over-explaining writing style (yes, show AND tell!), having a graphically-described male rape scene thrown into the middle of a fantasy romp tends to be offputting.

I agree with Austen and P and P, as well as Heyer and The Devil’s Cub. Nothing like a bit of hero-shooting, and unknowing interviews with prospective fathers-in-law for LOL times!

Thanks so much for recommending The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Society! I got it from the library yesterday & devoured it. It’s been a rough time over here for various reasons, and that book helped so much. I’m now planning to buy copies for myself AND all my friends! :)

My traditional go-to comfort books are Georgette Heyer’s The Talisman Ring (SO funny!) and Devil’s Cub. Also, I just read a really fun book of three Christmas-themed YA romances (novelettes), by Maureen Johnson, John Green, and Lauren Myracle, Let it Snow: Three Holiday Stories, which was really fun, smart & sweet.

Very good recommendations already!

If you liked “My Family and Other Animals” read the rest of Gerald Durrell’s books.  You might like to read James Herriot’s books as well.

If you liked “Miss Pettigrew Lives for A Day”, you may also like “Cold Comfort Farm” by Stella Gibbons.

Yay for Pratchett, Bujold, Heyer, Cruisie and Gabaldon recommends.  They are wonderful authors/books.

You might also like some of Robin McKinley’s fantasies.  Try “The Blue Sword”, “The Outlaw and the Crown”, and “Beauty” first.  “Sunshine” is wonderful as well but some people have trouble with it.

Oh gosh, I had The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Society on my TBR pile for weeks (it was an ARC that ended up in the B&N;free bin, and I’d forgotten I had it there.  Devoured in a day.  That’s totally going on my keeper shelf, and I’m going to give copies to my mom and to her best friend for Christmas.

Comfort reads -  I go to my keeper shelf (which has both kids and adult books), and at times I’ve given copies to other people whom I think would enjoy them.

1.  Tam Lin by Pamela Dean.  I reread this one every Autumn (in fact, it’s time for my yearly reread), and again when I feel the need.  I once told a co-worker how much I adored the book… and it turned out she was a good friend of the author (who sent me an autographed version of it when I was in the hospital).

2. Northern Lights (Nora Roberts)
3. Bet Me (Jennifer Crusie) -actually all Crusie’s are on my reread shelf, but “Bet Me” gets the most air time.
4.  Dancing Shoes, by Noel Streatfield
5.  Love in Blooms, by Judith Arnold
6.  Tourist Season, by Carl Hiaasen (not to everyone’s taste, but I love his evil sense of humor).  Sometimes I don’t want to be comforted, I want to kill, and Hiaasen is the best for that sort of mood.
7.  Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton series
8.  Lone Star State of Mind, by Bethany Campbell
9.  Phoenix and Ashes by Mercedes Lackey
10.  Mrs Drew Plays Her Hand by Carla Kelly (I also have a complete set of CK’s books and I occasionally reread all of them in one clump).

(De-lurking)
I would like to second (third?) Connie Willis’ To Say Nothing of the Dog.  In good times or bad, it never fails to raise at least a few helpless giggles out of me. 

For a gentler, more complete escape, I recommend one of my all-time favorite books that I give as a gift over and over again: Bridge of Birds by Barry Hughart.  It’s a detective-romance-adventure set in “ancient China”.  It’s clever and magical, and features a very non-typical romance that keeps me guessing no matter how many times I read it.

I’ve been having a very tough year, and Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum books have played a large role in getting me through it all. Other comfort reads include L’Engle’s A House Like a Lotus, and her Vicky books, and I also re-read the Anne of Green Gables series. Oh—and was introduced to Tamora Pierce, and enjoyed losing myself in her world for a while.

In terms of sending care packages, a friend of mine had a great idea: she sent me chocolate and a scented candle, etc, and a romance that looked AWFUL, with a card asking me to please report back as to whether the book was as bad as it sounded. It was, and I sent it back to her with snarky comments in the margins. Cheered me up considerably!

For me it was the Harry Potter books. When I was 8/9, I wasn’t very happy at school. I didn’t have many friends and I felt really low and had no self confidence. Then I saw a bit on Blue Peter where JK Rowling was talking about these books she’d written. The first 2 were out and the 3rd one was waiting for a release. I begged my mum to by me the first 2 which she amazingly did. Over the course of a month of bedtimes, I fell in love with the series, books and reading in general. I was the first person in my school to read the books and I got talking to others about them when they read them. They sparked my ferocious love of reading, something which continues to this day. They inspired me to pick up a pen and have a go at this story writing lark. And until last year, they got me through some of the toughest times of my life. I will always be thankful for JK Rowling and these books because I’m not exaggerating when I say they changed my life.