Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

and wasn’t the hero of The Time Traveler’s Wife also a nerd?

Well, he was a librarian but I don’t think he was a nerd.  He liked punk music and socialized quite a bit.  He was in great shape (running a lot) and could kick ass if he had to.  He also knew all kinds of cool lock-picking tricks. 

Verdict:  Not A Nerd

/but a GREAT book.

Hey, I had dinner last night with a group that was celebrating one guy’s 50th birthday.  Blowjob jokes abounded.  Several references were made to this guy’s advancing age and his inability in future years to keep from farting in public - along with some other bodily functions.  Yeah, I can laugh at immature jokes with the best of ‘em.

And yes, I’ve met men who made me drool, until they opened their mouth.  Goofy isn’t solely a biproduct of being a nerd.  It’s an equal opportunity affliction.  Maybe it’s just so much more noticeable on a geeky guy.

I had a client - who I eventually fired - that I’d nominate for Geek Man of the Universe.  He was a petroleum engineer who invented all sorts of weird gizmos in his free time.  He was pudgy, going bald, wore out of date glasses, and was, without a doubt, the most arrogant son of a bitch I’ve ever met.  He was close to genius, and not at all humble about telling everyone he met.  He frequently made reference to my inability to comprehend his on the side business - through which he wanted to write off things like cat food, and a trip to Israel.  My puny little CPA brain just couldn’t grasp the importance of his inventions, and the expenses he incurred.  I told him, if I was too stupid to get it, chances were excellent the IRS really wouldn’t get it.  And by the way - I don’t go to bat with Uncle Sam for con artists, no matter how smart they are, so bugger off.

Was this guy a nerd?  Totally.  Was he unattractive?  Good God, the thought of those pudgy, lily white hands on me….Ack!  But what made him off the charts unappealing was his sheer goofiness.

Anybody care to give definitions of Nerd, Geek and Dweeb?

Ah, I see - our definitions of goofy are different.  Okay, so with your def, I’m on the same page.  Goofy can be endearing, and maybe even hot, given the right circumstances.  And you know, assclown fits this guy to a T.  I heard he got fired and had to move to Oklahoma, where he’s no doubt taunting another poor, unintelligent CPA.

I took the test.  I’m a Pure Nerd.

Hmm.  Shall I tell my husband, who doesn’t qualify for anything except maybe Sports Fanatic who never reads anything but Golf World?

It wouldn’t matter - he kinda already knows he married a nerd.

“I think we need to separate and distinguish between nerds, geeks and dorks, because while these three are used synonymously, they embody different components. Take this test to find out which category you fit into.”

I scored as “pure nerd”—what a shock!

Has anyone read “Arm Candy” by another Leigh, Jo Leigh?  IMO, it’s a pretty good commentary on the whole brainiac Romance hero dynamic.  Her books are very hit and miss with me, but this one was quite clever, especially in the jokes and anecdotes at the beginning of every chapter.

I have nothing interest or original to add, so I’ll just mention that I never, ever, ever got the appeal of Lora Leigh’s books, but she seems to be muy popularo.

What I don’t get is how people think nerdiness and social-ineptness stupid-goofy go hand-in-hand and look down upon nerds/geeks because of that, yet the alpha male gets to get away with being an asshole and we’re okay with it? 

But in terms of nerdiness and goofiness - there’s the time Nick enacted the Monty Python Mattress-Buying skit in bed once.  I never saw the paper bag over the head coming.  I think I must’ve laughed so hard I needed my inhaler.  And see…I find that sexy.  Maybe I’m weird.  okay, I know I’m weird. But a man who’s confident enough to do something that silly in bed? I love it.

But…we also have a engineering friend who is the most socially awkward man alive.  I think he’s about 27, definitely a virgin, blushes at any sexual conversation and lived at home until recently.  He’s definitely a dork, albeit a sweet dork. 

I think after this conversation, I’m going to have to get this shirt out of the closet to wear tomorrow: http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/ladies/5981/

Three of my BILs are computer geeks and all are incredibly funny, attractive and not remotely socially awkward, it really is a stereotype.

Meljean’s story is the best of the bunch, skip this one and move on…

I love nerds.  I’m married to a nerd.  Sadly, nerds in romance don’t sell (Vicki Lewis Thompson not withstanding). I’ve written a couple of books about nerds, and my heroes are nearly always beta-esque.  But my editor wants me to quit with the nerds and start writing about alpha males.  My publisher even wrote it into their guidelines: NO NERDS.

Ellen, after reading In the Mood, I think I’m going to have to read some of your other stuff.  Finished it last night and just loved it.

Ah, I have no life.  It’s either be on the SB site, or clean.  And I hate to clean.  At least the cramps are taking a hiatus.

Thanks, Nicole—so glad you liked In the Mood.  My heroes are a lot like my husband, too.  But your very kind comments on your blog underscore my problem… “so damn nice” heroes are NOT what my publisher thinks readers are looking for.  Sob.  So I shall write nerds no more. Well, not TOO many, anyway:-).

I took the test. According to the results, I am what is called a “Tri-Lamb.”

I wanted to be something monosyllabic, damn it.

I work in an IT company, so I’m surrounded by nerds, dorks and geeks. Some of them are very well-paid, I might add.

Rarely do you meet a romance hero whose described as sleek or as having the longer, ropy muscles of a soccor player, swimmer, or track runner.

Raising hand here.  I have, in fact, way overused the long ropey muscles / swimmer / runner thing.  That’s my fave body type, and I write it all the time, sigh.  The bulky hairy mountain men type that seems to be a big draw for some authors have never appealed to me.

Gimme brains over brawn!!

I scored high in both the nerd and the geek categories, although the fact that I can’t retain numbers despite the fact that I just took the test two minutes ago kind of makes my claim to nerdiness shaky.  It was something like 42% nerd, 32% geek, 13% dweeb.  Does that come even remotely close to 100%?  Oh well, I’m too lazy to take out my paper and crayon and try to figure it out, I suck at math.  I am a librarian which is definitely nerdy by those definitions, b/c we’re pretty much all about the pursuit of information and knowledge, for ourselves and others.

When those Vicki Lewis Thompson books came out, I was all excited.  Nerds are often sexy in real life, but never in books, and I wanted to see how she could make it work.  After the second one, I gave up.  The nerds were rewarded for being not-nerdy, and the heroines reminded me uncomfortably of high school, when the kinda cute, brainy guys in my classes were totally uninterested in girls like me b/c of their longtime unrequited crushes on vapid cheerleader who would never give them the time of day.  Then they would whine to me in the yearbook office or some shit.  Ah college, you were a long time in coming.  I didn’t bother with the later titles b/c it seemed like she gave up on the nerd idea.  Weren’t they really like secret service agents posing as nerds or something?  I couldn’t be bothered.

Sorry for the long comment, this happens to be a topic I find fascinating and was kicking around playing in my own writing.  I’m going to write down the titles people suggested and would love to hear of any other good stories that feature a “nerd” or at least not totally typically alpha hero.

A couple years ago I was forced to explain to a bunch of “nerds” that they were serious husband material.

I was the “musher” for an Urban Iditarod team (group of people pulling a shopping cart from bar to bar through the streets of San Francisco), and my “dogs” were the hottest group of engineers I’ve ever seen. They’re all Harry’s Hash Harriers members, so they run and drink a lot (thank god, cause I’d have died).

http://www.urbaniditarod.com/index.shtml

They were all bemoaning that when they mention what they do for a living women’s eyes glaze over. I told them in no uncertain terms that that meant they were hitting on the wrong women. When I hear “engineer” my first thought is not, “Great, I’ve attracted Dilbert!” it’s “Wow, he might be able to afford a house.”

Does that make me a gold digger?

Nah, that just makes you practical, Tonda.

I’m trying to remember stories that included nerd-type heroes.  I’ve read a few. 

I know I heard that one of VLT’s nerd heroes was going to be an engineer.  I was so happy about that until it turns out he was going to be a civil engineer! lol Maybe I’m prejudiced, but civil engineering doesn’t make my heart go pitter-patter. 

Also, most geeks I know know how to use a gun, so a geek hero doesn’t have to be relegated to romantic comedy.  You’d think some author would be able to make a good action-y novel involving a MacGyver-type hero (yeah, I consider MacGyver a nerd/geek).

[delurking]

Geeks aren’t sexy? Tell that to the people buying my geekpr0n series. Okay, so it’s m/m romance and thus some people are likely to say it proves the point, but as far as I can tell, the reader base simply regards this as two hunks for the price of one…

Pure Nerd, here - 86%, 47% geek and 43% dork. Good to know.

All this talk of Romancing the Nerd brings me straight to Nora Roberts “...In Death” series.

True, they are nominally classed in the mystery section of the library, but there are enough hot love scenes with her inhumanly handsome (in that ropy, lithe sorta way) Irish geek-god Roarke. Imagine a 30-something Pierce Brosnan with super-hacker chops and a multi-planetary fortune (yeah, the books are a bit sci-fi, too).

Mystery or not, there’s more than enough sexual tension and actual sex in the books to send me to bed with a smile, and Roarke’s geekier tendencies don’t do a damn bit of harm to that fantasy at all.

Ironically, our IT dept is filled with really big blokes who read magazines that contain articles with charming titles like “Building a Battering Ram Worthy of War”. (It is only possible to hear that read in a booming chest voice with an added growl on the alliterated “w"s). They all train together and guzzle those power drinks with daft names (VPX Muscle Nitrous Pump, anyone?) at scientifically-determined intervals. Woe betide any mortal blocking the fridge when it’s protein shake time.

But to me, although they may be handy with a bit of code and rather helpful with funny network issues, these walking brick privies are just too big. The sight of one of them puce in the face as he lifts a whole weight stack to which he has chained a few more plates for good measure does not float my boat down that river named desire. I can’t help thinking that past the honeymoon period, conversation with heroes that look like this would gradually dwindle into talking about carb ratios and periodization. My verdict? They’re geeks. Body-building geeks.

I couldn’t decide if SBTB was a “fan” website or not, but I’m 73% nerd, and 21% each of geek and dork. And this nerd definitely prefers amorous engagement with other nerds. For one thing, someone whose SOH clicks with mine is far more likely to make things go ba-ding, ba-ding, fizz in critical body zones. Also a lot of nerds go in for the nerdy sports that tend to develop that yummy lithe and capable look. So one of the reasons I like Nora Roberts is her heroes. It’s been mentioned already, but she’s pretty reliable about writing nerd-ish ones with slimmer physiques. And IMO she makes them very appealing.

Coming into this discussion a few days too late, but then when we nerds get sidetracked on another issue it can take us awhile to realize that other people are going on with thier lives, talents, and discussions.

But just so y’all know, I’m 73 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 34% Dork

My dh’s friends are all costume-wearing LARPer geeks. Several of them are very much hot…long hair, etc. Trust me…geek doesn’t equal homely, weak, or otherwise. Watching those guys beat each other with swords….

But anyway, I’m a:

Outcast Genius
82 % Nerd, 65% Geek, 52% Dork

Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don’t care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).

Sadly, that does sound like me.