Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Sterling Redmond by Kim Nathan

I was initially fascinated by the plot synopsis for this book, the opportunity to read historical romance in a setting that was unfamiliar, and the characters. But the book suffers from such poor editing that I couldn't finish it, and had to stop reading.

This is the synopsis, provided by the author: 

Set in Gilded Age America, a young woman must choose between circumstance and destiny. Orphaned as small children, Sterling Redmond and her older sister Charlotte are raised by their grandfather at the family’s Maryland country estate of Northampton. Charlotte blossoms into a famed Baltimore beauty, but Sterling is more interested in books and horseback riding than feminine pursuits. Concerned that her niece will never find a suitable husband among the local Baltimore gentry, Madame De Chant whisks Sterling away to Belle Époque Paris in search of a gentleman who can understand her. In their absence, Nicholas Pembroke, the son of an English earl, takes up residence in the manor bordering Northampton. When Sterling and her aunt return to America for Charlotte’s wedding, Sterling finds that her perfect husband is… read more »

50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James

So many readers have recommended this book to me. SO MANY. It has a 4.49 average after 1,728 ratings on GoodReads and 4.5 stars after 100 reviews on Amazon. Readers on Twitter have told me how much they adore this book, how they love the hero, love the story, love every one of the 200k pages of this book (which ends on a cliffhanger and continues in volume two, Fifty Shades Darker).

Alas, this book didn't work for me. I kept trying, and going back to it more than I normally would because of the number of people who adore this book and talk about it so reverently. Unfortunately for me, I found it to be melancholy and meandering, and the heroine narrator is so maudlin and wimpy I grew more and more irritated with her and with the story and had to stop. It's amazing how powerful a first-person narrator can be - and… read more »

RITA Reader Challenge Review: The Moon That Night by Helen Brenna

This RITA® Reader Challenge review was written by Emily, who did not finish (DNF) the book. This novel finaled in the Contemporary Series Romance: Suspense/Adventure category.

Plot Summary: Kate Dillon has never met a man worth his weight in packing peanuts. Maybe she’s simply too stubborn, too independent and too much of everything men don’t want. Just when she’s decided that Mr. Right doesn’t exist, James Riley crashes back into her life.

Ten years ago Riley barely noticed her, but she was certainly aware of him! Body like a Greek god. Mind like a steel trap. Heart of stone. And nothing has changed. Or so this professional soldier would like her to believe. As Kate is pulled into a crazy adventure with Riley and his daughter, she sees he’s more than a heartless fighting machine. He’s denied himself everything—and has everything to give. Now to make him admit it!

And here is Emily’s review:

RITA Reader Challenge Review: The Wedding Garden by Linda Goodnight

This is a new one for the RITA® Reader Challenge: Reina tried to read it, and couldn’t get through the book. So it’s a DNF/ Did Not Finish for her. But the description and her review might signal that it’s a book that may appeal to you.

Plot Summary: “Are You My Dad?”

The young boy’s question shocks Sloan Hawkins. Until Sloan realizes he is this child’s father. Years ago, the former bad boy was run out of Redemption, Oklahoma, where, ironically, he was thought unredeemable. The only people who believed in him were his beloved aunt and Annie Markham, the girl he loved and left behind. Now Sloan is back to face his past and help keep his aunt’s cherished garden thriving. But when he discovers his secret child—and that single mother Annie never stopped loving him—he’s determined that a wedding will take place in the garden nurtured by faith and love.

And here… read more »

Rushed to the Altar by Jane Feather: A Book Rant from Dora

Every now and again, I receive an epic rant about a book that not only displeased the reader but set her off in a truly hilarious fit of rage. I call them ‘Book Rants,’ because sometimes ranting about a book that made you furious is the only way to squeeze a little good out of an altogether horrific reading experience. Today’s Book Rant comes from Dora, who was not pleased by this book.

This book just got me so angry I started typing this, and before I knew it… well, I thought maybe you might be interested in hearing what I thought about it. Here’s the review with my admittedly shameful grade of DNF.

Whenever I dislike a romance novel, I always have to try to temper my reaction with the knowledge that it probably wasn’t for me. I’m an intermittent bodice-ripper gal at best, and a lot of my purchases in the genre tend to be made on impulse on the “Best Seller” wall in the local supermarket, a stop I usually make on my way for kitty litter and inappropriate carbohydrates. Rushed to the Altar by Jane Feather was one… read more »

The Prodigal Son by Beth Andrews

I started reading this book because it contained some tropes I like, and a setting I thought I would enjoy. Vineyards! A winery! A small town/small community setting with a character returning home for whatever reason - I usually enjoy this kind of story.

The problem here is that most of the characters go too far into negative territory and I was afraid that the author wouldn’t be able to get them out. About halfway through I was worried enough that I went seeking a review to see if the story would have a happier resolution than I thought would happen. Nope: it doesn’t. So I stopped reading.

The book opens with Matt Sheppard, the hero, facing down his father and mother on graduation day. He’s not planning to work at the family vineyard alongside his two brothers, Brady and Aidan, the poorly-named “Diamond Dust.” (Yes. Dust. Just what I want to think of when I read about wine. *cough cough*) He’s going west, to UC Davis and plans to work at another vineyard instead of the family business. His rebellion and decision to… read more »

Walkin’ Dusty Roads of Metaphor

Here at Smart Bitches, I am not one to shrink away from a metaphor. In the past few years, both Candy and I have employed a metaphor, and by “employed” I do mean “beaten into the ground with overuse and obviousness.” Our use of metaphor is completely, and utterly lame compared to some of the opening lines of this novella.

Here, have the plot summary provided by the publisher in the opening pages:

Dusty Roads is a drifter whose down-to-earth cowboy work ethic has landed him a job in a Carolina power plant. Honey Barnes is the plant’s lone but feisty female boss fighting to succeed despite resistance in a male-dominated workplace. Both are tormented by tragedies from their past…tragedies they were helpless to stop. When a workplace situation evolves into what both recognize as a potential catastrophe, they are thrown together by the chance to avert disaster and find redemption. In the process, their irresistible attraction for one another turns into the passionate love that has long eluded them.

That’s right, Dusty Roads and Honey Barnes.

I receive a good many submissions to read and review, from novellas to… read more »

Goodnight Tweetheart by Teresa Medeiros

I wanted to like this book. I like epistolary novels, and I really like epistolary novels involving technology. I liked Meg Cabot’s “The Boy Next Door,” which is largely told via email, even with the weird part where the villain is running down the stairs and the heroine is on her laptop in the stairwell typing that the villain is running down the stairs. OMG… pick your laptop up and run, girl!

I also have a major soft spot for the section at the back of Dave Barry’s “Dave Barry in Cyberspace,” where he wrote what I presume is a fictional chat encounter that leads to romance—after a woman creates an AOL chat room called “Can Actually Spell.” The romance in chat lines between MsPtato and RayAdverb is one of my favorites, even though it’s jokey and short and deals with infidelity. The format was as much a part of the developing story as the chat dialogue itself.

I like Teresa Medeiros’ books, as a rule. Some of them are among my most-favoritest-ever, which is another reason why I kept giving this book another try, over and over and over.… read more »

Adora by Bertrice Small, A Guest Review by RedHeadedGirl

RedHeadedGirl is back, this time with a book reviewed by request: Bertrice Small’s 1981 book, Adora. Small is one of my absolute favorite old-skool authors. I have a soft spot for “Blaze Wyndham” like you wouldn’t believe. But I’ve never read this one.

I tried, you guys.  I really tried.  It doesn’t help that the copy I got smells to high heaven (It must have been owned by a smoker and it is moldy) and I have an aversion to bad smells, especially in books.  (Seriously, the first time I read Watchmen, the copy I borrowed was ever so slightly moldy, and the mold smell while reading the Tales of the Black Freighter?  I can’t even read that part now, in my new, ink-y smelling copy.  The associations are just so intense and gag-inducing.)

Anyway, this is the second Small book I’ve read and I’m not too terribly inclined to read more. I know this is “I read this shit so you don’t have to” but honestly.  Limits, I has them.

Adora is Theadora C-something, the daughter of the Arch Duke/Chamberlain/Grand Vizier (I don’t remember… read more »

Long Time Gone by Meg Benjamin

I started reading Long Time Gone by Meg Benjamin because the description intrigued me, and because the cover caught my eye. The hero is an eldest brother and the acting chief of police - and isn’t as sure of himself as one would think. Erik Toleffson has a lot of regrets in his life, particularly that in his youth he was a rebellious fuck up and a bully to his younger brothers, up to and including beating the tarnation out of them. Now that he’s back after two tours in Iraq and Kuwait and a few years in a different police force outside of Texas, he’s trying to make amends.

As the book opens, his brothers are friendly towards him, though he’s very quiet and sort of low-grade perpetually ashamed of himself and angry at the damage he did to their relationships. The trouble was, I didn’t see that damage. I didn’t see any strain except from Erik’s own ruminations, and never thought his brothers treated him as if they were wary, afraid, or angry at him.

As I read the first few chapters, I liked the introduction of Erik’s character, and the cast… read more »

Taken Beyond Temptation by Cara Summers

Since I’m reading on a Kindle I have no idea what page I’m on, but I’m estimating that I’m 1/10th of the way through this book, and I don’t want to continue. The WTFery is piled so high, I can’t see my way to the end.

Jillian Brightman purchased a big ol’ house with her sisters, and they’ve teamed up to turn it into an inn. Jillian, according to the cover synopsis, has a secret fantasy that comes to life when she meets Ian, who isn’t who he says he is. I was curious about this book from the synopsis, but the opening chapters were so completely barmy I had to stop reading.  Behold, in convenient list formation,  the reasons this book is receiving a DNF - did not finish.

1. Backstory introduction: the main character is talking to a ghost in the opening chapter, and telling the ghost all about herself, her sisters, her new hotel, her toenail fungus… no, not that last one. If you’re ever wondering how to reveal everything about yourself in two pages, try talking to a ghost. It seems… read more »

Love on the Rocks by Pamela Yaye

I have been monster busy and therefore craving Harlequins for reading - but this one I couldn’t get through, no matter how many times I told myself that maybe after a few more pages the book would pick up and get better. I had to stop about halfway through.

Tangela and Warrick were together for seven years before a messy and painful breakup, one that they’ve apparently never talked about. When Tangela shows up on the cover of People magazine’s weight loss issue, showing off a very trim and a very sexy confident new self, she and Warrick find themselves in each other’s worlds again, and find a second chance to fix what went wrong.

Unfortunately, a whole mess of a lot went wrong before I even got to the middle of the book.

Closer by Jo Leigh and Night of the Phantom by Anne Stuart: A Guest Review by Test Driver Tina

Of the four category books that I have kept over the years – through numerous moves and countless reassessing of whether to keep this book or that – two of them were written by Anne Stuart.  Somehow, I lost track of her over the years, so I was thrilled when I discovered the Ice series.  I power-housed through those books!  Yeah, the heroes are Alpha to a near-sociopathic degree.  Yeah, more than one of them have come pretty close to actually killing the heroine before finding themselves overwhelmed with some previously-unknown reluctance, all the while trying desperately not to give in to their driving lust for said-heroine.  (Did I mention that I just love these cracktastic books?)  So, imagine my excitement when I found a book called Anne Stuart’s Out-of-Print Gems in the Sony Bookstore.  It was the very first book I sat down to read on the Sony Reader and Night of the Phantom is the first story in this collection.

Night of the Phantom is the story of Megan Carey, the plucky and loyal daughter of a construction magnate, Reese Carey, and Ethan Winslow, the mysterious and reclusive architect,… read more »

With a Twist by Deirdre Martin

I’ve been pondering a new segment of book reviews, wherein I explain simply why I didn’t want to finish a book. Normally, if I don’t finish it, I don’t review it. But after some Twitter discussion over the past few weeks, enough people wanted to know the reasoning behind why I didn’t finish a book that I figured I’d try to explain.

I didn’t finish With a Twist by Deirdre Martin because, while the hero was very interesting, smart, complex, and dedicated, the heroine was too irritating for me to tolerate. It wasn’t because she’s French, or that she has that innate Parisian skill of being brusque to the point of rudeness, or that she’s prickly and not at all impressed with the hero. She is all of those things, but that didn’t bug me much. I kinda liked her for that part of her character.

Love Bites by Margaret St. George

Boy, did I have high hopes when I read the cover copy and the excerpt for this book. Check out the back copy:

Trevor d’Laine’s sexy voice seduced her every night with his late-night radio talk show. So Kay Erikson couldn’t pass up the chance to be his personal assistant – despite his insistence that he was a vampire.

Vampires didn’t wear faded jeans. And they were dark and brooding, not vibrant and fun.

Not bad, huh? Vampire radio host with sexy voice and his personal assistant? Vibrant and fun? Could be pretty good. So check out the excerpt on the first page:

“I’m a happy vampire. Happier than you can guess. I like having time to read every book that ever interested me, time to visit every monument ever erected, time to sample every pleasure available to night people. I’m invulnerable to disease or accident. I’ll never age, never die. Why would I want to give that up?”

Seriously, I am, or I was, so intrigued. Even with the heroine challenging his happiness with the idea that immortality and vampirism have their downsides, I… read more »