Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Blacking Out to Protest SOPA and PIPA

Tomorrow from 8am EST until 8pm EST, Smart Bitches will be joining Reddit, Wikipedia English, Cheezburger, Failblog, Regretsy, Wordpress, Cakewrecks, BoingBoing, Tucows, MoveOn, DeviantArt, Mozilla, Twitpic, and many, many others by going dark to protest SOPA in the US House of Representatives, and PIPA in the US Senate, two bills that I feel threaten freedom of speech, privacy and internet development.

The purpose of the bills is to address and attempt to curb online piracy.  As written, the bills allow corporations and the US Government to block entire websites based on poorly-defined terms. In my opinion, the bills give too much power to those who have much to gain by overusing it, granted by politicians with too little understanding of what these bills mean. The FAQ by CNET explains in greater detail, as does the BBC.

On 16 January, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor promised that SOPA would not be brought to the floor, but PIPA, the Senate version, still progresses. You can read the entirety of PIPA online. 

PIPA is set for a test vote on 24 January. So… read more »

Where Is the Hymen?

I thought we'd gone over this in the past few years enough times that folks knew this information already. But it seems like we need a review because authors still don't seem to know where the hell the hymen is.

We went over this in the Bosoms for about six pages, and we've joked about it here for pages and pages more.

But it seems that the hymen still eludes us, specifically WHERE IT IS.

It is NOT Up the vaginal canal by a few inches.

IT IS NOT INTERNAL.

IT IS EXTERNAL.

NASCAR, Kasey Kahne, Women and Breastfeeding

As was reported in the NY Times back in 2007, the NASCAR Harlequins have some specific rules by which they must abide: no sex, no crashes, no drugs, no alcohol use in the content of the story.

Back in 2007, Mark Dyer, VP of licensing for NASCAR, said in the article, 

“Look at our stats. Forty percent of our fans are women, and among younger fans it’s trending toward 50-50.” He added that according to Nascar surveys 72 percent of female fans enjoy reading and are more likely than nonfans to purchase books.

This is particularly interesting (and somewhat laughable) in light of Kasey Kahne's Tweetstream yesterday, in which he called a woman breast feeding "nasty":

Virginity Cliches in Romance

After reading a scene in which the heroine was a surprise virgin (Surprise! Virgin!) I tweeted about how tired I was of the Surprise Virgin afterglow conversations.

Picture it. The hero figures out the heroine is a virgin because he encounters some resistance (which, don't even get me started) and she flinches and of course he Is Very Alarmed and tries to stop but she tells him not to so it's ok for him to get on with it.

Then after they've crested and reached peaks of joy and done the dance as old as time, he says something about how if he'd known she was a virgin, he'd have done it all differently, been more gentle or something.

Cliches: I Do Not Think They Mean What Moths Think They Mean

 I really, really dislike clichés. I dislike them a LOT. And it's not just in writing that I dislike them. I hate when I'm talking to someone and suddenly a chain of corporate speak comes out of their mouth. Sometimes, I overhear people on business conference calls on the train and it's ridiculous, between the touching base, the face-to-face, the circling back, and (my favorite) the calenderize-ing.

Yes. Calendarize.

In romance, there isn't so much calendarizing (though I think if anyone did calendarize something, it would be a villain, or someone rather hapless) but there is no shortage of cliche.

Recently I came across "she drew him like a moth to a flame," and I may have pulled a lateral rectus muscle rolling my eyes. First, moth to a flame? Really? That's the best language we have?

Oh for God’s Sake: Penguin Disallows Digital Library Lending

As reported on Twitter and on Dear Author, Penguin has removed lending capabilites from its digital library for the Kindle. In other words, no digital lending for Kindle - and, per a statement at Library Journal, no new books will be available for digital lending, either. Overdrive's statement on their site reads in part:

In the interim, OverDrive was instructed to suspend availability of new Penguin eBook titles from our library catalog and disable “Get for Kindle”  functionality for all Penguin eBooks.

That now makes four out of six publishers who do not allow lending of digital titles: Penguin, Hachette, Simon & Schuster, and Macmillan. I had originally optimistically remembered two, but alas I was wrong.

Anyone want to take bets as to when the last two will follow suit?

What a terrible decision. I've spent a lot of time this year speaking at librarian conferences, including the national convention of the American Library Association and local conferences of the Connecticut Librarian Association. In every case, there were sessions devoted to working out how to serve the patrons who want to borrow digital materials, and how to best serve communities with digital literature, media, and… read more »

Everyone Else Loved It, But You Didn’t Like it at All

Catriona wrote in the Heyer/Grand Sophy thread:

Sarah, can we do a thread on romances that we want to love, we should have loved, everybody else loves them…but that we can’t stand because something just left a bad taste in our mouths?

I like this idea for two reasons. No, three. First, we’ve done it before. But let’s do a new one. It’s been years.

Second: not enjoying a book that it seems like everyone loved or enjoyed can be an isolating experience, but as I’ve learned on the internet, you’re never alone in your likes and dislikes, no matter how outlandish they might seem. 0_o

And third: everyone’s buttons are different (woo, kinky!). What ticks me off may not bother you in the slightest, and vice versa. For example, and I’ve used this example before: there are many who are intensely bothered by historical inaccuracies in romances. I am not one of these people. The Duke can in fact drive a Porsche to Almack’s, and I’m fine with it. Whatever.

Midnight Sins and Errors

One thing I have noticed in the past year or so is that the more romance readers are online speaking with one another, the faster we all get a working understanding of the publishing process. We learn more about how a book is produced, in other words, the more we speak with writers, editors, and publishing professionals.

Remember Navarro’s Promise, where the promised sex scene was entirely missing? That scene is available as a download on her site.

But alas, it seems the error-filled Lora Leigh books continue: the reviews for her latest book, Midnight Sins, are cringeworthy.

But what is interesting is that some reviewers spread the blame for the terrible finished product across several parties, including the editors and the publisher.

Links: Plagiarism, and Jumpsuits

It takes a lot of balls to copy someone’s work word-for-word. It also takes a lot of balls to pass that work off as your own. But it takes a whole pile of balls to copy a book nearly word-for-word and both change the main characters’ name to “Edwards” and “Bella” and change the point of view from first to third. Because making it TwiFic makes it all better, right?

Lucky for Cynthia Eden (except not at all) that’s exactly what someone did. A fanfic writer named “misconception76” took Eden’s story Deadly Heat and turned it into TwiFic. And the fanfic rip off was so good that folks made (and then have since removed) Bella-as-a-firefighter fan art. The reviews were all positive until the plagiarism was spotted.

Jiminy Christmas.

My understanding of the fanfic community is that they have an extremely low tolerance for plagiarism in their community, because shoddy work like this helps the reputation of fanfic not at all. Yet this work is still available. WTF? Many a commenter to the original story has said they’ve reported it, but the story is still up. I tried to join the community and contact “misconception76” but alas, new… read more »

Romances, According to Susan Quilliam, Don’t Have Enough Condoms, Do Have Too Much Fantasy

Good morning! Everyone ready to point and laugh? Get your finger ready - no, not THAT one, the OTHER one - to mock with abandon specious research and shoddy statistics pointing out a supposed flaw in our love of romance novels.

Ahoy! What steaming pile of crap through yonder website breaks! Women still in grip of idealised love and sex, purveyed by romantic fiction.

Oh, no, are you ok? Surely you didn’t hurt yourself pointing and laughing already because there’s a LOT MORE COMING.

Susan Quilliam, who is not a scientist but instead a “broadcaster and agony aunt” ( the hell does that mean?!) and relationship psychologist who recently authored “The New Joy of Sex,” contributed this article to the Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive Health Care.

Mmmm. Irony. The author of a book about positive sexuality for men and women mocking and lambasting a genre that is also about… positive sexuality for men and women.

The summary of the article has the standard smacks of the genre: that sex and relationships are idealized, that women readers are too influenced by the genre and need to “put down the books - and pick up reality.”

Rushed to the Altar by Jane Feather: A Book Rant from Dora

Every now and again, I receive an epic rant about a book that not only displeased the reader but set her off in a truly hilarious fit of rage. I call them ‘Book Rants,’ because sometimes ranting about a book that made you furious is the only way to squeeze a little good out of an altogether horrific reading experience. Today’s Book Rant comes from Dora, who was not pleased by this book.

This book just got me so angry I started typing this, and before I knew it… well, I thought maybe you might be interested in hearing what I thought about it. Here’s the review with my admittedly shameful grade of DNF.

Whenever I dislike a romance novel, I always have to try to temper my reaction with the knowledge that it probably wasn’t for me. I’m an intermittent bodice-ripper gal at best, and a lot of my purchases in the genre tend to be made on impulse on the “Best Seller” wall in the local supermarket, a stop I usually make on my way for kitty litter and inappropriate carbohydrates. Rushed to the Altar by Jane Feather was one… read more »

Shooting Fish in a Barrel with Addictive Romance Novels

ETA: Thanks to Carolyn Jewel for the link: it seems most of this article is plagiarized from a letter to the editor from 2007. OH THE HILARITY. So not only does Sayer Giles have her head up her bum BUT she’s a plagiarist, too? WOW. JUST WOW.

Another day, another disparaging article about romance novels. If you haven’t seen it, here’s the link that set Twitter on fire this morning and insulted so many of us who read and write the genre: Romance novels can be addictive as pornography.

What set my hair on fire about this article is that this is EXACTLY the attitude I was trying so hard to combat in my upcoming book, the one where romance readers and authors worked together to help me defend against this crap.

At least it’s a bit more rare to see the asshattery displayed in flaming colors like this. Used to be weekly. Now my blood pressure has time to level out to somewhat normal numbers.

Kimberly Sayer Giles, of LDS Life Coaching, outlines that romance is porn, some women are addicted to it, and conveniently she has a few steps toward wearing yourself off… read more »

Reckless Pleasures by Tori Carrington: A Guest Rant Review by Nina

Every now and again I get irate email from readers who are absolutely hair-pulling livid about a book they just read. We romance readers take our book reading very personally, and if a book doesn’t live up to the expectations of a reader in the most basic of ways, there is fury like furies have never furied before. This is especially true when there’s infidelity, moral weakness, or a completely unhappy ending. Nina is PISSED about this book. She is IRATE. And she has a LOT to say about it. Behold: A Guest Rant Review.

Nina writes: Warning: This review is chock full of spoilers.

This book made me sick. And not only because the heroine of the story cheats on the hero, but because she’s cheating on a man who’s risking his life in a dangerous, scary place thousands of miles from home.

Don’t get me wrong— I’m not saying that infidelity can’t be addressed in an entertaining and intelligent way. Unfortunately, that’s not how it’s treated in Tori Carrington’s Reckless Pleasures.

Now this isn’t the first Harlequin Blaze I’ve read that featured a woman who cheats on her boyfriend.… read more »

Cliffhangers

Angie James has become my cliffhanger warning sign. She’s like a giant “CAUTION! DETOUR!” sign at the edge of a literary cliff, warning me away lest I cast myself over the edge and get ripshit pissed off on the way down. She’s warned me off three books now that have cliffhanger endings in the middle of the series, thus ensuring that I will wait until I know the story is completed before I try the series.

Why? Because I HATE cliffhangers.

Some of it is based on Ye Olde Romance Reader’s Expectation, wherein I expect the ending to be, you know, the ending, and I expect it also to be happy. Economically speaking, I like to know I’m buying an entire story when I buy a book.

I have heard many authors on Twitter and Facebook complaining that readers who wait for the series to be complete damage the chance that the series will exist at all past a few books.

My answer: series that contain books which end with cliffhangers damage the chance that… read more »

Judy Mays: We Got Your Back, Ma’am

As a rule, I recommend that every carbon-based life form online avoid the comments section of news sites, from newspapers to television stations to local blogs covering the farmer’s market, because the comments are usually overflowing with fresh awful crazysauce.

In this case, I recommend everyone read the comments because they restore some sanity and hope for what is a truly disgraceful and frankly stupid news segment.

WNEP, a television station from the northeast and central part my home state of Pennsylvania (OH MY GOSH I AM SO PROUD. NOT.) ran this lovely piece of crap story revealing the pen name of a local high school English teacher who writes for Ellora’s Cave as Judy Mays. But wait, there’s more: the news segment then assists these parents in holding her up for public ridicule—and, in the case of one class act of a parent, accusations of pedophilia.

It is no secret that there’s crazysauce in epic levels which amplifies to a full boil when placed in front of a news camera. My question is why this was a story in the first place. What is the big deal if, in… read more »