Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Star Trek Into Darkness: A Review

There are thousands of reviews of Star Trek Into Darkness out there, but I know you Bitches only have one burning question:  Is there smooching?

Well.  Of course James T. Kirk has a certain amount of casual sex, because he's James T. Kirk.  Fans of TOS (The Original Series) will be intrigued to note that a certain Dr. Carol Marcus shows up, and although there isn't time for more than light flirting in this movie, it looks like she'll be staying around.  Hmmmmm. 

The Great Gatsby: Review and Romance Analysis

It is imperative that when you go see The Great Gatsby, you know these two things:

1.  It's a Baz Luhrmann movie.  Baz is not known for subtlety. 

If you want something restrained, something in which Leonardo DiCaprio isn't introduced by the sounds of Gershwin and the sight of fireworks, then look elsewhere.  If you want lavish madness, then go see this - and see it in 3D.  Both my friend and I saw it in 3D despite some skepticism, and we both felt it enhanced the story.

2.  This is an anti-romance.  Nothing ends well and as a matter of fact things tend not to start well, either. Expect a lot of angst and drunken wailing. 

I do think this is a good movie, but if I had gone to it expecting a romance, I'd have hated it.  It's a tragedy about people who dodge responsibility even when it literally flies at their heads, people who fall in love with figments, and people who love money and the facade of money and never know each other.  It's… read more »

Iron Man 3: A Review and Romance Analysis by Carrie S

I haven't been reviewing any Marvel movies because generally they aren't very romance-y.  Certainly they can't wrap everything up into a nice HEA, because then there would be no franchise. 

But Iron Man 3 intrigued me because it seemed to promise a lot of Tony Stark/Pepper Potts stuff, so I checked it out for you, dear readers (oh, please, like I totally wasn't going to see it anyway).

The Host: A Movie Review by CarrieS

The Host is a movie about a person trapped in a body that has been taken over by an alien (it's also a story about an alien trapped in the body of a loud, irritating person).  In a similar manner, The Host is a really great movie trapped inside a really bad movie.

To carry the analogy one step farther, I went to the movie with the full intention to snark mercilessly and within minutes my fifteen-year-old self had completely hi-jacked my middle aged body and was totally entranced.  So all the snark you'll encounter is snark that occurred to me hours later, when I was busy being forty again (I just had a birthday, yay me).  Fifteen-year-old self thought the movie was great and despite all the snark I am about to unleash, I bet you'll fall for it too.  It has a strangely hypnotic power.

If you Google "The Host" I'm sure you'll find hundreds of spoiler free reviews.  This is not one of them.  I plan to spoil away, so if you want to avoid… read more »

Warm Bodies:  A Guest Movie Review by CarrieS

Warm Bodies is a delightful and moving film that succeeds because of its very engaging stars, despite a plot that, while sweet, does not make a ton of logical sense.

The movie is being marketed as a romantic comedy, and it is very funny, but only in a very dark, very understated way.  There were only a couple of moments where I laughed out loud, but there were plenty of things that I was still quietly chuckling over days later.  It's basically a variation on the Beauty and the Beast story, while also being quite overtly a variation on Romeo and Juliet. 

Review: XCOM WiFi for International Travel

I was loaned an XCOM MiFi unit for use in Australia, in exchange for a review. I know a lot of you travel for work or conferences, sometimes internationally, and we've all groused about the highway robbery that is hotel in-room internet in some locations. I knew the hotel WiFi where I was going to be in Sydney was rather expensive, and wanted to explore other options. After contacting XCOM, I was shipped a MiFi, two batteries, carrying case, and an assortment of plugs and adapters to use in funky international power outlets. What follows is my opinion (my very long winded opinion) of the XCOM MiFi unit.

First, I'm predisposed to love this thing because (a) it saved me a pile of money and (b) I needed to know I was connected to the internet while I was away and my home state was having the crap kicked out of it by Sandy. Even if I hadn't felt the repeating need to check my phone for new messages or new information, I would have been very happy having this device with… read more »

The School for Wives: Bell Shakespeare Production, Sydney, Australia

This was an English (rhyming!) translation of a Moliere play, performed by the Bell Shakespeare Company at the Sydney Opera House. I was feeling predisposed to like this play because I was in the Sydney Opera House (COOL) and it was a perfect night to go out near the harbor. By the end, and in the days after seeing the play, I recognized it's flaws, but was so pleased to have experienced it, because I'm still thinking about it.

In the opening scene, the lead, Arnold, announces he's getting married to Agnes, a girl he's had educated in a convent to be the perfect wife: completely innocent and naive, without any worldly knowledge of anything. He says in the opening he fell in love with her when she was 4 (EW DUDE) and bought her from the poor woman who was raising her (DOUBLE EW) and had her installed in a convent for her education, and has only recently brought her to his home (TRIPLE EW DUDE SERIOUSLY).

What's amazing is the level of… read more »

Tai Chi Zero: A Guest Movie Review by CarrieS

Tai Chi Zero is a movie so gloriously, epically insane that it merits a review even on a site that almost only reviews books.  Seriously, this was the most WTF crazy fun EVER.

You could assume (I did) that once you are dealing with a synopsis that involves a "tai chi, kung fu, steampunk romantic comedy with self-aware comedic elements of videogame and comic book imagery" you are really beyond categories like "good movie" and "bad movie".  Certainly if that plot description doesn't make you pee your pants with joy and excitement then I'm not sure you're going to get much out of Tai Chi Zero. 

On the other hand, I really think this is a genuinely good movie - it reveled in its craziness, it was funny as hell, the one on one fights were great to watch, and I cared about the characters.  Everyone had motivations and everyone had an actual personality.  This wasn't an "it's so bad it's good" movie; this was just good, in a crazy, over the top, cost one dollar to make, meta kind of… read more »

Movie Review: Miss Minoes

Friday nights in my house are "Dinner & a Movie" night. We all eat dinner in the living room and watch a movie together- and the movie part can be tricky. I have two boys, ages 6 and 4, and their idea of awesome entertainment often does not match mine. Tonight we watched a movie that was so charming and adorable, I had to share it with you. 

Miss Minoes is a Dutch film from 2001 - no, wait, don't stop reading - that was dubbed into English (English English not American English) in 2011 and released in the US and elsewhere. I had not heard of it until Netflix listed it among the new releases for instant viewing, and I shoved it onto our queue thinking maybe my younger son would like it. My older son, known hereabouts as Freebird, heard the description and said that he totally wanted to watch a movie about a cat that turns into a woman. 

The film is based on the 1970 book Minoes by… read more »

An Enema, A Birthday Spanking, A Love Story by J G Knox

ToroHo sent me a link. It was very mean of her.

It was a link to the book you see pictured over there: An Enema, A Birthday Spanking, A Love Story. The title of the actual paperback seems to read “When the Jonquils Bloom Again: Book One,” but the Amazon.com title is all enemas and spanking. Is there a better way to catch people’s attention as they look for something to read? Spankings and poo? Sign me up!

No, wait, don’t. I downloaded the Kindle sample (Kindle: Nom nom..What?!) and, well, in the interest of complete honesty, I went to the ladies’ room to read it. Here is all you need to know about this book:

Delicious Library: A Brief Review

You bibliophile tech-geeky Mac owners have probably heard of Delicious Library; those of you with Windows machines are probably gnashing your teeth with envy. If you don’t know what it is yet, it’s basically software for cataloguing your stuff—books, CDs, DVDs, games, whatever. The feature that had me hopping with agonized ready-to-poop-my-pants excitement was the fact that it utilizes the webcam as a barcode scanner. You can buy a barcode scanner, too, and use that, but the thing is, you don’t have to. All this for only $40!

Sound too good to be true? Well, it kind of is, a little, but by and large it totally works as advertised.

I don’t have a MacBook for myself, but I’m lucky enough that my good friend and roommate is willing to lend me her MacBook and share her copy of Delicious Library with me. I stayed up until 3:30 in the morning last night scanning in about half of my book collection. 520 books, motherfuckers! (Realization: The extent of Anne Stuart’s backlist that I own is bordering on the ridiculous. I think I have everything she’s ever published except for her incredibly hard-to-find Regencies. Also, my obsession with owning first edition… read more »