Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

The Mammoth Book of Futuristic Romance:  A Guest Review by CarrieS

In futuristic fiction, it's often a challenge to create a believable situation.  The most unbelievable thing about The Mammoth Book of Futuristic Romance is that someone had the nerve to charge $13.95 for this lackluster short story collection.

The Mammoth Book of Futuristic Romance is a collection of nineteen short stories about romance set in the future or involving futuristic elements.  Probably the most famous author to contribute is Linnea Sinclair.  All the other authors were new to me.

Ghost Planet by Sharon Lynn Fisher: A Guest Review by Carrie S

Ghost Planet was depressingly terrible as only a promising book can be.

The premise was wonderfully intriguing and the author (Sharon Lynn Fisher) writes good descriptions and has an overall good use of language, with a few scenes that were genuinely harrowing.  The writing technique is polished and smooth.  This high level of potential made it almost insulting when the book became progressively lost in scientific bullshit and stock, annoying characters. 

Fair disclosure - Ghost Planet is getting great reviews elsewhere on the net, so if you loved Ghost Planet don't be shy about defending its honor in the comments - you are not alone.

Dirty Minds by Kayt Sukel: A Guest Review by Carrie S

"Dirty Minds:  How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex, and Relationships" is a nice, basic, but fairly comprehensive overview of the latest scientific information about love and sex.

It's not very exciting - for a fun, ribald take on the topic I highly recommend Bonk, reviewed here previously.  For a more detailed look at the topic, I recommend Love, Sex and the Brain, also reviewed here.  Dirty Minds is essentially a summary of all the info you can find in Love, Sex, and the Brain but with a slightly more conversational and personal approach.

No Words Alone by Autumn Dawn - A Guest Review by Carrie S

I heard via word of mouth that No Words Alone is a very good science fiction romance, so of course I had to check it out.  I had some very ambivalent feelings about this book and yet I was completely swept away by the story and the atmosphere.

Xera is a translator.  She is human, and serves on a human spacecraft that crashes after engaging in a skirmish with an alien craft.  Both ships are stranded on a hostile planet and the humans and the aliens (Scorpios) have to make an alliance to survive.  Xera is the only woman in both crews and when her captain threatens to rape her, the Scorpio leader, Ryven, takes her under his protection.  Seeing as how the two races are at war, "under his protection" essentially means she is taken prisoner, brought to Ryven's home planet, and told that she will be marrying him.  Xera is drawn to the Scorpio culture and… read more »

Midsummer Moon by Laura Kinsale - a Guest Review by Carrie S

I believe that the best word to describe Midsummer Moon is "adorable", and I mean that as a compliment.

It dances right on the edge of being hopelessly twee, but there's a grounding element of emotional truth that makes the stakes real and powerful.

Lord Ransom Falconer...oh, excuse me.  I was about to tell you the plot, but we have to pause for a moment to truly appreciate the name "Lord Ransom Falconer".  Done?  Then let's proceed.  Lord AwesomeMcCoolname is known for being rigorously dutiful and self-controlled.  He goes into the countryside to find and recruit an inventor, Merlin Langbourne.  He wants the inventor to come back to his estate so the inventor can make weapons for use against Napoleon and also be protected from Napoleonic kidnappers.  To his astonishment, not only is Merlin a woman, she is a severely absent minded and hopelessly naive slightly mad scientist.  She has two cranky retainers, who yell at her a… read more »

Skyfall by Catherine Asaro: A Guest Review by CarrieS

Many readers of Smart Bitches have mentioned Catherine Asaro as science fiction romance author to check out.  She certainly seems like a nifty person - more accurately, she sounds like a very improbable romance heroine.

Among other things, she's a former professional dancer, has a Masters in Physics and a PhD in Chemical Physics from Harvard, she's won two Nebula Awards for her fiction, and she just composed a bunch of music for a CD that accompanies her latest book.  In her spare time, she knits intricately patterned fireproof scarves for firefighters from the wool she shears from her own herd of unicorns. 

I made that last part up.  If I sound bitter, don't worry, it's just the envy of her many accomplishments seeping from my pores as I type.

A Clockwork Christmas: A Steampunk Christmas Anthology - A Guest Review by CarrieS

Back in 2011, Carina Press released A Clockwork Christmas:  A Steampunk Christmas Anthology.  This anthology contains Crime Wave in a Corset by Stacy Gail, This Winter Heart by PG Forte, Wanted: One Scoundrel by Jenny Schwartz, and Far from Broken by JK Coi.

I was surprised that there isn't that much talk of Christmas (or any other holiday) in the novellas.  Crime Wave is the most Christmas-y book, with This Winter Heart coming in second.  The other two books keep Christmas strictly in the background.  I was also surprised at how little steampunk is actually in the books - generally the authors picked one steampunk element to focus on instead of creating a fully developed steampunk world.  All of these novellas are available for sale separately. 

I assigned an average grade of C to the collection as a whole, but the entries varied widely in quality.  Here's the breakdown by novella:

Holiday Affair by Lisa Plumley:  A Guest Review by CarrieS

Just for the heck of it, I decided to pick a totally random contemporary Christmas themed romance to review.  With great difficulty I resisted such titles as His Christmas Virgin, Inheriting His Secret Christmas Baby, and, my favorite title, Eating Cookie.  I settled on Holiday Affair - but sadly, Holiday Affair is like lukewarm cocoa with way too many marshmallows in it.

At first it looks OK, and it has its fun moments, but ultimately it’s unsatisfying and may cause you to throw up.  In short, I did not care for this book.  Why, you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you why.  It was saccharine, it was cliché, and it was totally unbelievable.  Mild spoilers and a long, long rant about too much sentimentality during the holidays lies ahead.

All Roads Lead to Austen by Amy Elizabeth Smith:  A Guest Review by CarrieS

All Roads Lead to Austen:  A Yearlong Journey With Jane is a fun, thoughtful, and entertaining memoir by Amy Elizabeth Smith.  Amy spent a year travelling through Latin America.  In each country she visited, she led or attended a book club meeting about one of Jane Austen's novels. (SB Sarah: And since today, as Carrie noted in an email today, is Jane Austen's birthday, this seemed like a good date to talk about this book.)

She had two primary questions:

1.  Do the novels of Austen resonate with contemporary Latin American readers?

2.  Who is/are the Austen(s) of Latin America?

The Scientific American Book of Love, Sex, and the Brain by Judith Horstman -Guest Review by CarrieS

It's time for...SCIENCE!  That's right, I finally got a copy of Scientific American:  Love Sex, and the Brain.  This non-fiction book summarizes the results of studies that were written up in Scientific American magazine regarding, well, love, sex, and the brain.

Although the book doesn't talk in detail about the methodologies of various studies, it does have references to all the original articles, which presumably contain more information.

Asher’s Invention

I thought I would love Asher's Invention.  It's a steampunk romance with an enigmatic scientist hero.  It has a great cover and a clockwork dog. 

But, alas, it suffers from boring characters and a lack of plot, and I have Things to Do, so this was a "did not finish" for me.

Tempest in Time by Eugenia Riley

So after we tore apart Fabio’s Viking, I decided to see what his ghostwriter, Eugenia Riley, could do when not hampered by Fabio’s weird cholesterol fetish.  The result was… not pretty. 

But I couldn’t do this review on my own, so I called in some help.

Jeremy Renner.  BECAUSE HIS FACE.

You’re WELCOME, Bitchery.

In a Treacherous Court, by Michelle Diener: A Guest Review by Kyra Cornelius Kramer

Kyra Kramer and I were emailing about Tudor romances, specifically one she really enjoyed, as she's a student of the Tudor era. She sent me this review to share with y'all. I hope you like it.

My name is Kyra Cornelius Kramer and I like romance novels. I like them so much I write academic essays about them. I have also done academic work in history, particularly King Henry VIII, including a book about the medical reason he may have had reproductive problems and gone bonkers in midlife (no, not syphilis). These dual interests in romance and the Tudors caused me to become aware that there was a dearth of historical romances set in the Tudor era.

Why?

It isn’t like that wasn’t an eventful and fascinating time in history. If you got characters within 50 yards of London they would be up to their lips in intrigue and sweeping sagas. You cannot throw a metaphorical rock… read more »

Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance by Lois McMaster Bujold: A Guest Review by CarrieS

Lois McMaster Bujold is one of my favorite authors, so I'm grateful to commenters who told me that a new book in the Vorkosigan Saga is out as of today (it's been available as an eARC for a while).

While Captain Vorpatril's Alliance lacks the emotional punch of some of Bujold's other works, it is a lovely science fiction romance featuring none other than Miles' cousin Ivan.  If you've read anything else by Bujold, you'll recall the gorgeous and clueless Ivan, and if you've yet to read Bujold, you'll get the picture soon enough.  I never thought Ivan would get his own book and I swear, every time I saw his name on a page, I did a little happy dance.

Libriomancer by Jim C. Hines: A Guest Review by CarrieS

Some of you recall the incredible awesomeness of Jim C. Hines, who attempted to re-create poses from science fiction, fantasy, and romance covers.  In doing so he taught us all a little something about gender politics and the limits of human anatomy and permanently won the adoration of the Internet.  Jim has a relatively new book out, Libriomancer (it was released in August as an eBook and in hardcover).  This book has gotten all kinds of raves from the geek community and it has just enough romance in it to justify my reviewing it here.