Bitchin' Blog Posts
: Fun And Games
by SB Sarah | May 07, 2013 | Tuesday at 4:44 am | 3 Comments
Time for another romance reader workout! You ready? I know many of you were overindulging at RT, so it's time to get back on the exercise wagon.
Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Grab your latest romance and prepare to work out like working has never been outed before.
Standard disclaimers still apply: dude, I'm still not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen.
Drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you. Especially the books. They make excellent weights, especially the hardcovers!
And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part X, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!
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by SB Sarah | April 24, 2013 | Wednesday at 4:54 am | 138 Comments
Macmillan has kindly offered ten hardcovers of The Ashford Affair to give away - though I am limited to US and Canadian readers (my apologies). I'm offering five digital copies open to anyone worldwide - so if you'd like to read The Ashford Affair (and I hope you do!) come share... it's secret time!
To enter, tell us about a secret you've heard or kept -- though feel free to change some details if the secret is STILL a secret.
Since The Ashford Affair is all about unraveling family secrets, I thought this was entirely appropriate! Please specify which you'd like - hardcover or digital.
Standard disclaimers apply: I'm not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Hardcover giveaway open to US and Canadian residents. Digital giveaway open to international residents to the extent permitted by applicable law. Must be over 18 and pretending to smoke with one of those badass cigarette holders to enter. Keep out of reach of children. Contact…
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by SB Sarah | April 23, 2013 | Tuesday at 1:40 am | 5 Comments
Time for another romance reader workout! You ready? This time, we're talking titles and cover art.
Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Grab your latest romance and prepare to work out like working has never been outed before.
Standard disclaimers still apply: dude, I'm still not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen.
However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you. Especially the books. You should read one book per half-kilogram of bodyweight.
And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part IX, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!
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by CarrieS | April 17, 2013 | Wednesday at 1:00 am | 41 Comments
In honor of Charlotte Bronte's birthday (April 21, 1816), I present you with a Jane Eyre film and television adaptation round up.
Of course there are many adaptations I haven't listed here. Interestingly, none of the adaptations I've seen or heard of seem very off the wall. While Pride and Prejudice seems to adapt well to different times and places, poor Jane is firmly regulated to the Victorian Age, except in adaptations that use her story as only the loosest of inspirations.
Got your popcorn? My apologies to Friends for blatantly ripping off their episode naming strategy, but I needed a way to keep all these straight.
SPOILERS ABOUND as I'm assuming you've read the book already, and if you haven't you will definitely want to do that first and then read on.
SERIOUSLY.
READ THE BOOK BEFORE YOU READ THIS.
MASSIVE SPOILERS.
Let's start with:
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by SB Sarah | April 16, 2013 | Tuesday at 7:09 am | 176 Comments
Penguin's InterMix has offered a rather spiffy giveaway today, and I'm so excited about it. Srsly. And not just about the book, either, though I have a weakness for books wherein weather throws people together. Snow, hurricanes, high humidity, whatever.
Stranded with the Billionaire is the first in a six book series from Jessica Clare who is also sometimes known as Jill Myles. Here's the cover copy:
Billionaire Logan Hawkings needs a vacation. He’s had a rough time after the death of his father and the betrayal of his fiancée. But with a visit to a recent business acquisition—a private island resort in the Bahamas—he has a chance to mend his broken heart. When a hurricane blows in, a misplaced passport and a stalled elevator bring Logan together with an unusual woman named Bronte. She’s unlike anyone he’s ever met—down to earth, incredibly sensual, and even quotes Plato. She also has no clue that he’s rich… Bronte Dawson, a waitress from the Midwest, is stranded with the hotel’s domineering yet sexy manager Logan. What’s the harm in a little…
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by SB Sarah | April 01, 2013 | Monday at 8:44 am | 13 Comments
My benevolent overlords have allowed me to greet you personally!
First, I wrote and programmed this on Thursday morning - before the acquisition of GoodReads was announced. When I read the news Thursday afternoon, I was all, "WHOA." And also, "I better buy a lottery ticket."
Second, this is our ninth year of April Foolery, and it gets more fun every year. Here's a look back at the horrible splash pages we've inflicted upon you:
April Fools 2013: Smart Bitches, An Amazon Prime Company April Fools 2012: Smart Bitches Who Love Great Web Deisgnz! April Fools 2011: Announcing The TBR Press: Just Another Digital Publishing Endeavor April Fools 2010: Only the finest hand-crafted reviews for sale! April Fools 2009: The ICH and Jane Litte threaten to sue us over the Bosoms book. We’re being bloody sued?! April Fools 2008: We’re assimilated into the Dear Author network as Jandy and Jarah. April Fools 2007: Chink & Jewy’s Romance Novels the unused, highly offensive original title Candy and I suggested for the site. April Fools 2006: MY NAME IS MAN-TITTE THE TOP HEAVY. KNOW MY NAME AND DESPAIR. April Fools 2005: Smart Bitches Who Love Fluffy Bunnies!
Happy April Fools,…
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by SB Sarah | March 26, 2013 | Tuesday at 1:29 am | 10 Comments
Time for Romance Novel Workout VII! So grab your nearest romance and get ready to read, sweat, and possibly growl in outrage. Don't bite your lip, though. Thanks to Rudi's tumblr for the inspiration today.
Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!
Standard disclaimers still apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.
And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part VII, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!
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by SB Sarah | March 12, 2013 | Tuesday at 2:59 am | 14 Comments
Time for Romance Novel Workout VI! So grab your nearest romance and get ready to read, work out, build muscle, and possibly scream obscenities.
Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!
Standard disclaimers still apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.
And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part VI, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!
read more »
by SB Sarah | February 26, 2013 | Tuesday at 1:34 am | 16 Comments
Time for Romance Novel Workout V! It's like Mambo #5 except a lot less bouncy. The possibility that a sex scene in a romance might harbor a cliche is...significant. So grab your book and get ready to read, work, and possibly scream obscenities.
Pray that nothing is lathed, y'all. Pray hard.
Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that romance novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!
Standard disclaimers apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.
And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part V,…
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by SB Sarah | February 21, 2013 | Thursday at 2:00 am | 3 Comments
Back in the day, when we started the site, we had no money and no real prize options but we wanted to do contests and stuff, so we invented Smart Bitch Titles™. They are often vaguely obscene, at times questionable in their intent, and always garish in color. I'm the Duchess of Cuntington, for example.
Over the past few years, we've given Smart Bitch Titles™ to various prize winners, to commemmorate excellent going-ons, and to acknowledge those who identify a HaBO correctly in the first comment. It's been awhile, but it's time for a coronation!
Over the weekend, May identified Amanda Quick's Scandal as the correct book sought by Mrs. J, and now, it's time to gather the court and bestow upon her a Smart Bitch Title™!
Kneel, May, and arise, in honor of the service performed for a romance reader looking for her lost book:
May, you are now a member of the Smart Bitch Peerage, and can right-click and save-as those images…
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by SB Sarah | February 14, 2013 | Thursday at 4:14 am | 33 Comments
If you were worried I'd gone off the end of the world into the pit of never-ending sappy today, fear not. Theresa Romain is here to help, with PURE EVIL TIME SUCK OF FUN!
She tweeted this link to me and, well, there went four hours of my day.
Behold: Make your own Candy Hearts! And, if you're not feeling the Luuuuurrrve™ today, there's an anti-Valentine's day version, too, which they call "Goth mode."
Oh, the fun that can be had. Here's Lyra's conversation heart for her love:
Theresa says we should combine the heart generator with the Romance Novel Workout series:
I happen to loathe the conversation hearts as a candy. I know people have hate/love debates about candy corn, but my ire and revulsion is purely reserved for conversation hearts. Hearts of Chalk! Not Actual Candy! Whose idea was this?!
But now, I think I'm in favor of conversation hearts - the ones I can customize anyway.
…
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by SB Sarah | February 12, 2013 | Tuesday at 2:50 am | 16 Comments
Ready for this week's workout? Hope so, because we're back with more Romance Novel Workouts! Time to read, breathe, and probably groan.
Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that romance novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!
Standard disclaimers apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.
And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part IV, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!
read more »
by SB Sarah | January 31, 2013 | Thursday at 12:12 am | 434 Comments
On January 31, 2005, Smart Bitches went live with two reviews, and the website was born. Eight years later, we're still here, and more readers find the community here to discuss romance, laugh at the silly parts, celebrate the awesome-y parts, and discover that there are a LOT of fellow romance readers out there in the wonder wily inter webs.
Thank you for being a part of Smart Bitches. Happy eighth anniversary to all of us!
The traditional gifts for an 8th anniversary are bronze, pottery, linens, and lace. I don't think I can do bronze or pottery (that would be a book titled His Lordship's Shipping Nightmare) but linen and lace? That I can do. Time to do fun and silly things!
I went a-looking for linen and lace things and thought…oh, ho ho! FICHU!
![A creative commons image of a woman in a fichu, captioned,]()
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by SB Sarah | January 29, 2013 | Tuesday at 1:00 am | 27 Comments
How's your new year's resolution to get fit and read more going? We're back with more Romance Novel Workouts! Are you still reading and breathing? It's probably about time for some hot and steamy scenes in your novel, so this workout is perfect.
You can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Grab a novel and get ready!
Standard disclaimers apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.
And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part III, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!
read more »
by SB Sarah | January 15, 2013 | Tuesday at 2:15 am | 31 Comments
Grab your gym shoes and your nearest book, because it's time for another Romance Novel Reader Workout! Just think of me as Jillian Michaels, only with flatter hair and a tendency to encourage you by saying things like, "Unless you faint, puke, or die, keep reading!"
Yeah.
As with the Romance Novel Reader Workout I, these are meant to be done while reading a romance novel. Today's workout is mostly body movement, so no handweights are needed unless you want to use some. If there's an exercise name you don't recognize, look it up on YouTube: I promise there will be sixty-zillion 1 minute videos of people in various stages of undress demonstrating that exercise. Pick your favorite, learn it, and get back to reading!
Standard disclaimers apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning…
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