Bitchin' Blog Posts
: Fun And Games
April 18, 2012 | Wednesday at 12:46 am | 55 Comments
Zoe Archer was kind enough to write up the survey results from the Romance Family Feud game at Romantic Times. I'd posted a link to the survey a few weeks ago, and the answers during the game itself were so funny, I asked if they'd be willing to share. Thank you!!
A big thanks to everyone who participated in the Romance Reader Family Feud survey we posted a few weeks ago. We had over 575 responses! The Family Feud game at RT turned out to be more fun than is possibly legal in several states, and we have you to thank (or blame) for it. The hosts of the game were Tessa Dare, Vivian Arend, Nico Rosso, Louisa Edwards, and myself. We laughed, we screamed, we made my husband Nico blush. Pretty damn awesome. I promised that I’d post the results, especially for those who weren’t able to make it to RT. So, without further ado, here are the findings. Because y’all were very, very creative, I’m only able to post the top five answers for each question, so if you notice that something’s missing, that doesn’t mean it didn’t show up on the survey, it just didn’t…
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October 24, 2011 | Monday at 11:21 pm | 9 Comments
THAT was a fun hour! My server hates me.
But! The winner of the Coach bag, the $50 gc, and a copy of A Bite Before Christmas is:
TamiBates
Tami, please email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom to claim your winnings - and congratulations!
Thank you to everyone who entered, and most especially for the hilarious answers. Clearly, the sexiest thing in Canada is Tim Horton playing hockey with a beaver, a Mountie, a toque, while surfing Niagara Falls!
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October 24, 2011 | Monday at 10:00 pm | 318 Comments
Avon Romance is celebrating the release of Lynsay Sands’ Bite Before Christmas - and if you answer the following question correctly in the comments (and it is SO not a hard question), you’re entered to win!
Clue: “Tell us where Lynsay Sands hails from…and what’s the sexiest site to see when you visit this destination?”
Now , first part has an audio clue: click and listen to the funky music!
The second part: UP TO YOU. What’s the sexiest sight to see in that part of the world? Does it involve SOCKS? A MULLET? I can only hope. So give us your must-see spot in the best tour of Lynsay Sands’ home country’s fantastic places, and you are entered to win.
What do you win?
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January 08, 2011 | Saturday at 5:34 pm | 24 Comments
Ok, folks, get ready. It’s time for the Snooki Snex Scene entries. Voting is below, so make sure to read and pick your favorite. The winner gets a copy of the book and $25 to a bookstore of the winner’s choosing.
The poll is below and the entries are below the fold. Are you ready? Grab a beverage and help us pick the winning Snooki Snex Scene!
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September 30, 2010 | Thursday at 2:45 pm | 8 Comments
Mind the teacakes, as we have a fiesta of coronation to accomplish! As is the tradition, anyone who guesses a HaBO (otherwise known as Help a Bitch Out) query on the first try in the first comment AND has their answer confirmed either by majority agreement or by the original asker wins a Smart Bitch Title™. As of now, we have three!
For identifying the correct book for Billie Bloebaum, we invite you to kneel, Barb, and arise a member of the Peerage.
For assisting in the identification of Stef Ann Holm’s Harmony, I invite you to kneel, Azure, and arise with your new title:
For identifying the book by Christina Dodd that suggests a frisky cure for nyctophobia, I ask that you kneel, CJ, and arise:
And finally, for identifying a book through the #habo tag on Twitter, kneel, Shanna Buzza and arise with your peers with your new title.
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September 29, 2010 | Wednesday at 12:52 am | 6 Comments
Few things are as satisfying as Kumquat Canal, the new contemporary romance series by megalith! With 141 votes, Kumquat Canal is the clear (ha) winner, and really, who can resist a pitch like this?
Kumquat Canal
Ex-SEAL Mai-ti Wang uses his childhood ninja training to track the stunningly attractive, intriguingly elusive spy known as Majik Hu-ha.
Congratulations, megalith! Please email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom to claim your winnings, and enjoy the fame and fortune that comes with winningful kumquats!
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September 24, 2010 | Friday at 5:31 pm | 4 Comments
Oh, the challenges of setting a schedule for yourself and then facing technological fuckwittery! But now that the poll software and I are getting along, LET THERE BE VOTING.
Below, the finalists I selected (wait, you wanted a poll of over 200 entries? No? DIDN’T THINK SO.) for your voting pleasure in the Contemporary Series Name Generator contest. Voting will close Sunday, so click and enjoy. The entries are below the poll.
Entry 1
For discriminating readers who love football and despise no-talent starlets, see Heidi Montag repeatedly demolished by bloodthirsty offensive linesmen in…The Football Hills
Entry 2
Hero escapes city life to make hootch in the mountains; heroine takes her hootchie on the road to find love… Montana Moonshine Canal
Entry 3
The Sugar Cove Series. A sleepy seaside town is forever changed when the three sizzlin’ Sugar brothers arrive.
Entry 4
Destiny Dinghy (Book 1 of the Dinghy Series) A fluke hurricane leaves hunky boat captain and shy bookworm afloat at sea. Will they be saved? What will they eat? Did she bring her HEA Pills??
Entry 5
The Teacup Lake series: Tempest, Stormy, and China once talked about falling in love. Now they have come…
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September 18, 2010 | Saturday at 6:46 pm | 6 Comments
Oh, my gosh, the entries in the Romance Novel Product Line are giving me Abs of Steel from the laughter workout. Holy smoke.
First, Short Librarian emailed me her image file, so enjoy this Honorable Mention entry for a moment while I organize the winners:
Honorable Mention: In addition to Man Candles, the honorable mentions for products inspired by Romance Novels go to:
Laura Xixi and Julie H for “Wanton Strumpet: Body Mist” - protect against harm derived from sex on impractical surfaces! BWAHAH!
Denise for ClothesOff! No more hopping on one foot to take off your sock? Excellent.
Morwen for InstaCare, which renders the brutish male all soft in good ways - with bonus DeFang, which adds… sparkles of course.
IcePrincess for ForeverSmooth - Regency Hair Removal.
Kaetrin for Brute 69 - what do you think it smells like??
Second Runner Up goes to Anna Richland, who offers up the Per-Kay, only for those saggy I’m-not-17-anymore feelings, and, The Super-Bladder 3000: “Because there’s something besides bad breath that compels you to roll away from your man in the morning.”
First Runner Up 2 is awarded to…
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December 23, 2009 | Wednesday at 11:00 am | 201 Comments
So many people have written to me asking about the Dreamspinner ad running in our ad column. Some are dying to talk about it, some are asking me to create a thread just to discuss it, and some are absolutely turned off. What, a man with his pants down wearing some mistletoe around another area that may in fact be well hung is worth talking about?
You bet your sweet bippy. So with the generosity of Elizabeth, head of Dreamspinner, who sent me a big ol’ high res version of the cover so you can appreciate the pants mistletoe’d man in all his splendor, we have: Holiday Caption That Cover!
Leave your caption in the comments, and on Christmas Day, I’ll pick a winner. Said winner will receive a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of their choice. Comments will close at midnight on Christmas Eve, Eastern Standard Time - I hear Santa needs to borrow those tightie whities for a trip round the world, you know?
Mad props and full credit for the image go to Paul Richmond, the artist who created this holiday wonderpiece. And oh, what a wonder…
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December 17, 2009 | Thursday at 11:42 am | 20 Comments
BoB’s Hanukkah contest - wherein BooksonBoard is giving away a Cybook Opus, a book light, and a $25 gift certificate to BooksonBoard to whomever wrote the best book pitch that featured a character named Bob, a Jewish holiday, and a reference to BooksonBoard.
By an overwhelming number of votes, and with the laughing confirmation of Kana at BooksonBoard, we announce that The Playgirl Shikseh’s Virgin Dreidel Boy, by Kathlyn, is the winner - Happy Hanukkah Kathlyn!
Thank you to all who entered, and if you’d like to experience the virgin drediel boy joy again, her winning entry is reprinted below. (Psst, Harlequin: need more Hanukkah romances! With Virgin Dreidel Boys! Kthxbye!)
THE PLAYGIRL SHIKSEH’S VIRGIN DREIDEL BOY MLD Tournament-playing shikseh princess Callie O’Farsey loves her men as much as her dreidels. They’re wild, wooden, and she’s their mistress!
Dreidel boy Duddy Latke is a young man working in his step-father’s toy making factory – Bob’s Toys. Duddy’s stepfather is known for his prized dreidels. Duddy, cursed to create dreidels that land only on “nun”, feels unlovable. Just before Hanukkah, while downloading self-help ebooks from BooksonBoard, Duddy has a light-bulb moment and solves his wobbly dreidel dilemma.
When skikseh…
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August 26, 2009 | Wednesday at 11:44 am | 86 Comments
What do you get when you take a math professor who is curious about romance, the crahkalicious Black Dagger Brotherhood, and the internet?
Why, DocTurtle’s Black Dagger Brotherhood Madlibs of course.
Thanks to DocTurtle, we have so much fun, we might end up crashing the UNC Ashville server. Oh, it’s just a beautiful thing. Enjoy!
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August 13, 2009 | Thursday at 9:20 pm | 49 Comments
From very alert reader Cora comes this bit of HILARITY. This month’s Mills & Boon Newsletter highlights some of their recommended titles, including Kathleen O’Reilly’s Sex, Straight Up, which is being released by M&B as Intoxicating!
That’s all well and drunken fun but… what’s this? Looks like The Virgin Secretary’s Impossible Boss got a whole new workplace problem.
OMG VIRGIN LESBIAN CATEGORY ROMANCE. WHY didn’t I think of THAT?!
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July 02, 2009 | Thursday at 8:39 pm | 5 Comments
Question: are fill-in-the-blank javascripts the most funnest thing ever? Y/Y? Y!
Thank you to the HOLY CRAP THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-THREE of you who had fun with the Smart Bitch Romantic Suspense Blurbs Gone Wild! I’ll have to hang out with Mr. Java and his script to make more fun, huh? Woo!
And now, a special message from Roxanne St. Claire:
Two hours? Just gone. Two hours laughing my ass off at those mad libs, trying to pick winners, which was flipping impossible. I loved so many of them. Here are three that really caught me because they were either hysterical or possible.
Andieg (at 12:39)
Passions Succulent Thunderheads
Tanja Cilia (at 1:25)
Passion’s Blithe Thunderstorm
tracyleann (at 2:59)
Passion’s Grizzled Tornado
Congrats folks - please email me with your mailing address, and Roxanne will send you a spicy, tornadic copy of her upcoming book, Hunt Her Down.
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June 30, 2009 | Tuesday at 3:14 pm | 352 Comments
Since I poked a little fun at vaguely religious pseudonyms, and since Roxanne St. Claire isn't a pseudonym, I thought, let's have another ARC giveaway, shall we?
Yes, we shall!
Your task: more fun with romantic suspense! Using your power of Word Knowlege, use the form below to generate a title and its tagline.
As always, copy and paste your brilliant results into the comments. Two winners will be chosen to receive an advanced reader copy of Roxanne St. Claire's next book, Hunt Her Down. 24 hours, so grab the hand of your nearest male silhouette, and run, run like the wind!
Note: the results appear in a popup window, so be ye warned.
function makeLibs3() { story = "Romantic Suspense Blank-Filling-In Madness!" + "Smart Bitches: Romantic Suspense Blurbs Gone Wild!
He " + document.madlibs3.input1.value + " his " + document.madlibs3.input2.value + " when he glimpsed her " + document.madlibs3.input3.value + " her " + document.madlibs3.input4.value + ". But can he " + document.madlibs3.input5.value + " her " + document.madlibs3.input6.value + " " + document.madlibs3.input7.value + "? Find out in...
Passion's " + document.madlibs3.input8.value + " " + document.madlibs3.input9.value + "." libsWin = window.open("","",",width=800,height=100,scrollbars=yes"); libsWin.document.write(story); libsWin.document.close(); }
Verb, past tense:…
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May 07, 2009 | Thursday at 10:51 am | 101 Comments
Behold, we have a special message from Sherry Thomas, whose new website is sleek and sexy like things that are sleek and sexy:
It so happens that I have set Not Quite A Husband—coincidentally—in a spot that is very much in the news: the Swat Valley, which in 1897 broke out in a fierce rebellion against the British, inspired by the exhortations of a certain Mad Fakir and is now, history repeating itself, a Taliban stronghold and a flashpoint of conflict between the Taliban and the Pakistani government.
The events of Not Quite A Husband—a man traveling to the North-West Frontier of the British Raj to find his former wife and bring her home, because her father lies dying in London—unfold against the 1897 rebellion. And I have the perfect movie title for the book.
ESCAPE FROM SWAT VALLEY!
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