Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Untethered (I Hope)

If all goes well, tomorrow I will be attending Big Money’s Untethered conference, all about publishing on tablet media. I haven’t received a registration confirmation despite being a media partner, woe is I.

I think (I hope anyway) that they’re defining “tablet” to its broadest definition to include not only iPads but also smart phones, digital reading devices, and the like, because if it’s all iPad, all day, that’ll get boring in a hurry.

But the focus on publishing should be interesting, particularly since the speakers include Sarah Chubb, CEO of Conde Nast, Brian Murray, the CEO of HarperCollins, and Carolyn Reidy, President and CEO, Simon & Schuster.

The topics will include discussions of newspaper and magazine use of tablet technology, and a session at 11am titled, “Will the iPad Kill Off eReaders and Other Tablets?” with folks from Barnes and Noble’s Digital Products division, IRex (Didn’t they just file for bankruptcy?) Spring Design and Sony Electronics. Good thing I’m not on the panel, because my answer to the title question would be, “Uh, no.” I find reading on the iPad to be visually uncomfortable, but I’m very curious how the conference as a whole approaches the question… read more »

Links That Have Nothing to Do With Romance - But Something to do with Awesome

Here, enjoy some links of NSFW crazy and other random pieces of brilliance. What are you reading online lately?

From Angela James comes The Night In a position from The Snuggie Sutra.

This poor gentleman has upstairs neighbors who are unbelievable. He can hear everything they say, so he writes letters to them. HA. Thanks to Heathero for the link.

And finally, when I’m having a crazy or crappy day, Lovely Listing and IMMD, especially when there’s one about authors.

The State of Mashable Media Summit: Part Deux, With Drinking Game

The afternoon sessions began after a lunch of vegetarian and tuna wraps and sushi, with really good cookies, and really long lines for the free Motorola phone.

Ms. Harman, American Red Cross:

My successes in social media are created in moments of unspeakable tragedy. Social media and the American Red Cross connect people who need help.

The American Red Cross belongs to everyone, because we make up the network that allows communities to help each other.

“We are only as strong as the network that we have.” (S: In this room, we are shit out of luck, then).

They do try to have fun, even though they are engaged in serious pursuit of helping people. Trying to bring stodgy organization into 21st century. They want to change the way people respond to tragedy: giving via text to Haiti, for example.

I sat with the speaker at lunch so I know she’s planning something.

The State of Mashable Media Summit

Today I’m at the Mashable Media Summit, sponsored by Mashable and CNN Tech and a bunch of other folks. On one hand, Mashable is amazing (I just learned from the COO that their traffic has increased four times their 2008 numbers) and on the other…CNN drives me nuts for a whole smorgasboard of reasons. This conference, to be frank, was expensive. I registered early but it was over $400 for the day. A day.

So I’ll be honest: I’m pessimistic. The agenda of speakers is interesting, but I have no idea if this is going to apply to me, and I’m attending as someone who is very curious about social media and who spends a lot of time on Twitter.

Let it be said: executives of internet companies are not always good public speakers. I’m ready to shoot someone if I hear “without further ado” one more freaking time.

“Tell everyone you’re here. Without you being here, this doesn’t happen.” If a tree falls in the woods and no one tweets about it, does it really happen? Because I can’t tell anyone about it if I can’t get online, and neither can anyone in my row. My… read more »

A Perfect Storm of Linky Awesomeness

So much awesome in the inbox, I can’t even tell you.

Lisa sent me the following link to vintage men’s adventure magazines. After looking at the covers, would you rather face down:

- weasels ripping your flesh - cannibal crabs crawling to kill - the red tide of death (Kotex makes something for that, I bet) - a battle with a giant otter - mad monkeys manning the lifeboats - an alligator who won’t give you back your arm - flying rodents ripping your flesh - being chewed to bits by giant turtles

This is a very difficult choice. Think about it.

Zoe Archer sent me this link, which is just layers of WTFery: Christian Audigier Ed Hardy condoms. Say the following with a straight face, I dare you:

Our “Ultra Premium” and “Monsieur Bond Extra Large” are designed with a “Baggy Head” that makes the condoms easier to use….

So please enjoy and thank you!.. for being FURIOUSLY SEXY with Christian Audigier!

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Finally, Kiersten sent me this movie poster, and OH MY GOSH.

HOFF. Is in a MOVIE. Called DANCING NINJAS.

No,… read more »

ADWOFF Cares for Tennessee Flood Victims

Nora Roberts’ ADWOFF fan community is raising money for flood victims to donate to Disaster Recovery Services of Dyer County, TN, where one of their community members lives. Dyersburg is about 3 hours away from Nashville. You can see aerial footage of the flooding in Dyersburg on YouTube.

According to the Dyer Disaster website they are “a volunteer group which provides Recovery Services in the event of a disaster affecting the residents of Dyer County, Tennessee. We do so by coordinating the work of governmental authorities, non-profit organizations, businesses, and caring individuals to meet the needs of persons in Dyer County affected by disaster. We are a United Way Partner operating under the authority of the YMCA of Dyer County.” I am not finding an organization by that name on Charity Navigator, but the organization has been around since 2006 after a tornado caused massive destruction in northwest Tennessee.

Nora Roberts has pledged to match the donations up to $100,000.00. Checks can be made out to Dyer Disaster Organization and mailing are on the ADWOFF site. You can use Paypal to make a gift. To do so, click “Send money,” then click the personal tab & choose gift; otherwise… read more »

Haterz!

On the Contact Us page, we have a pretty obvious disclaimer about hate mail. To quote ourselves:

If we choose to, any hate mail we receive can be mercilessly mocked in public. In Smart Bitch legalese, this translates to: “We hereby reserve the right to publish your ranty asshattery as an example of fine ranty asshattery and protect therein our opportunity to mock the ever livin’ shit out of your ass.”

We will mock you for an email that says, “u suck and ur ugly i bet ur bad in bed so why dont u just get laid and stfu.”

We will not necessarily mock you for an email that says, “I am so upset at you and here is why.”

There’s a big difference. Those of you who don’t know it, e-mail us at your own peril.

Yes, we get hate mail here at Smart Bitches HQ. Like the one I received tonight in response to this review. From 2005. About the Carpathian series by Christine Feehan. I’ve read a few of the early ones. I really liked the first one, especially the psychic connection in the beginning where Emo Vampire McMiserable is all about to off himself and… read more »

I am so mean

And so is P.N. Elrod, who sent me a link, so that I could show you THIS GRAPHIC:

Best Link Evah

From RWA Librarian of the Year Jennifer Lohmann (can you tell I’m still giddy about that? NO? I will endeavor to be MORE SUPER EXTRA DOUBLE GIDDY) (Tomorrow. I am le tired) comes this link. It’s so fun and awesome, it’s the whole entry: Hot Guys Reading Books.

It was brought to her attention due to Jason Pinter’s post on (Huff)PoBooks about the fallacy that men don’t read. Now, the men I know absolutely do read. And I’ll be hiding around corners taking pictures of Hubby reading now. It’ll drive him nuts.

Buffy vs. Edward Remix Up for Webby Award

Way back in the day, Buffy vs. Edward: Twilight Remix was featured as a Friday Video. now it’s up for a Webby Award among the remixes and mashup videos. It’s up against Auto-Tune the News, which I also featured on Friday Videos. Man, I have some strange taste, it seems.

Voting ends tomorrow, 29 April, so if you want to go show Buffy some love, get on it soon.

Hoping Jennifer Haymore Kicks Cancer’s Ass

Author Jennifer Haymore has posted on her blog that she’s been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer and is beginning treatment, which is a long, arduous and utterly not fun road. I wish her every happy ending to this story, and a collection of absolutely fabulous hats during her treatment.

To send positive thoughts her way, I’m going to give away five copies of her latest book to five random commenters. I think just about everyone knows someone who has battled cancer or an illness that requires treatment almost as bad as the illness itself. So what’s your best advice or best wish for Jennifer? Any tips on surviving the survival part? Popsicles and romance novels? Super soft slippers and macrobiotic meals? Bring it on. I’ll select five winners and send the books.

[Disclaimer: I’m not being compensated nor is anyone else funding the giveaway. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Your mileage may vary. Many bags look alike. Cancer blows.]

I hope you kick cancer’s ass, ma’am.

ETA: Lisa Heermann has sent over her pathfinder entitled Cancer Resources for… read more »

Team USA Wins International Mullet

That might be the best headline I’ve written yet.

After frenzied voting and trash talking and mullet admiration all around, let’s tally the votes.

Over at KristieJ’s site, where Canadian mullets brought it and brought it long and hard,Team USA gathered 142 votes, and Team Canada gathered 102.

Over at the hot pink palace of Bitchery, where His Majesty, The Mullet King Billy Ray Cyrus held court, Team Canada picked up 307 votes, while Team USA gathered 784.  So, the winner: Team USA, 926 to 409.

Which means KristieJ is going to be sporting for national Canadian pride, Ye Olde Mullet Wig, currently living on my kitchen counter. Oh, the mullet, it is amazing. This is so awesome. I hope she lets me try it on. I’m indubitably envious!

Thanks to KristieJ for the International Mullet competition - I was so sure Canada had it down cold (ha!) as a victory, since they not only have hockey but also more mullets per capita, according to eyewitness reports. But it’s the double power of Dog the Bounty Hunter and Billy Ray Cyrus who put Team USA over the top. Wow. I’m absolutely surprised at this victory.

Mullet-Off: Getting Dirty

Y’all. KristieJ is CHEATING. She ADMITS IT. She’s CHEATING in the mullet competition! Oh, the shame the shame.

She thinks a pre-glitter vampire Keifer Sutherland in a mullet is going to top TEAM USA?! Ha.

I give you the much-suggested Dog the Bounty Hunter. I didn’t want to bring him out unless necessary. But Billy Ray + Dog? It is SO on.

I mean, come on. He has shells in his mullet. Oceanic aquatic life is supported by the power of his mullet.

To say nothing of the Luuuuuuurve™ baby, the Luuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrve™.

The Dog mullet: you can’t beat it. You can only hope it stays within the United States borders.

I’m reloading the poll in this entry -so remember: the loser wears a mullet at RT and RWA. This could be epic win, yo. GO TEAM MULLET USA.

Imagine the Production Meeting on This One

So imagine you’re a producer for CTV up in Ye Olde Canada, and you have this great idea for a telenovela featuring heavy product placement with Old El Paso, featuring a beautiful woman forced to marry the richest, most evilest evil man in El Paso Viejo. And there’s a pool boy.

I think this kind of crazy fun can only happen in Canada. If someone tried to pull this off in the US, there’d be some kind of celebrity placement involving Justin Beiber or one of the homogeneous Disney starlets and it’d suck wind mighty fast.

But this? Oh, this does not suck wind! From alert reader Kathryn, who spent a LOT of time figuring out what the hell was going on here:

It seems that CTV (Canadian Television) and Old El Paso Tacos have put together a bizarre marketing gimmick that combines cheesy Latin American soap operas, Choose Your Own Adventure and tacos.  CTV claims to have a new soap opera called “Mi Marido, Mi Angel (My Husband, My Angel)” where YOU star as the beautiful woman forced to marry the evil Alejandro Los Rico, the richest man in the village of El Paso Viejo.  The site… read more »

Where Do You Buy Books: Survey Results

In mid-February, I asked for your responses in a very low-key, utterly not-scientific survey about Where you like to buy your books, and in what format.

Behold, the results! First, this is hands down my favorite comment in response to “Tell me what store or buying option I forgot:”

Mostly, I buy at the drugstore/grocery store these days. But I’ve bought everywhere I checked above. Yes, I’ve even swiped books from the library, but never on purpose. More in the “oh, dear, so that’s where that book went” sort of way. But the most interesting place I’ve ever acquired a book was at a yardsale where I’d run out of money. I successfully negotiated a swap for the white fringed blouse I was wearing over a tank top, for an out of print Jo Beverley hardcover. Never liked that blouse, anyway.

Will strip for out-of-print hardcovers? That ROCKS. (Why have I never thought of that?!!)

So, without further ado, here are the results, in graphic form. If you’d like to see the complete data, you can view my report—it’s available to the public for viewing and download. You can also view the complete list of book buying options with… read more »