Bitchin' Blog Posts
Captions Please?
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | March 26, 2009 | Thursday at 6:56 pm | 52 CommentsI’m working on building a site for myself - well, I’m not working on it. Moxie is working on it. But I’m building a site that will host more info about me as unofficial man titty media pundit, with workshop ideas, speaking topics, and general mayhem and hilarity. I figure, better to place that info in a separate venue since most of you fabulously dressed ladies come to the hot pink palace of Bitchery for the romance discussion, not the Sarah self-pimping. I’m squidgy about the self-pimping enough as it is.
I’m having a ball with one of the design elements but am stuck on two of them. I’m captioning a few classic-style photos with romance-themed commentary, and wanted to ask for your help. Check ‘em out, and if you have a caption suggestion, leave it in the comments. If I pick yours, you’ll see your brilliance as part of a random sequence of photographs on the soon-to-be-built site, and I’ll send you a signed copy of the book. What book? You know what book. Don’t be silly.
Filed: But...that's not really about romance novels, General Bitching, Go Ahead, Win Some Shit
Tagged: sarah, make the burning stop, ladies
Bev Stephans said on 03.26.09 at 07:00 PM • [link]
RWOR
“I’ve got my hand on your ass and I’m about to save your life!”
I can’t come up with one for CHA CHA!
anon said on 03.26.09 at 07:37 PM • [link]
Cha! cha! cha!
She: I’m so glad you don’t mind my big feet, dear. I hope you know I won’t mind your big…
He: Ears?
ocelott said on 03.26.09 at 07:45 PM • [link]
RWOR
“Wow, your right arm is so much more muscular than your left arm! It’s almost like you’ve been doing a one-arm workout or something.”
she reads said on 03.26.09 at 07:53 PM • [link]
rwor:
in that moment she realized three things- that he used more product in his hair than she did, that his kisses did nothing for her, and that he’d never be the hero in the romance novel of her life…
Sarah W said on 03.26.09 at 07:54 PM • [link]
RWOR!
“Oh, Jimmy, you know I won’t be that kind of girl until at least page 213!”
she reads said on 03.26.09 at 07:56 PM • [link]
cha cha cha:
they both knew this dance was eventually headed from the living room to his bedroom for wild unbridled passion. She was just waiting for the right moment to bust a move…
Sarah W said on 03.26.09 at 07:58 PM • [link]
Cha! Cha! Cha!
“You know, dear, anything you can do, I can do backwards and in high heels.”
“Darling! Promise me?”
Gillian said on 03.26.09 at 08:07 PM • [link]
Rowr!
As Daisy unwrapped her shiny new LifeSize “Love-Me-For-Real” (tm) Ken doll, she knew that next year, she’d be on Santa’s naughty list…
lustyreader said on 03.26.09 at 08:09 PM • [link]
Cha cha cha
She didn’t give a fig if the ton thought her a hoyden for waltzing without consent. She’d set her cap for this Corinthian and would get close to him by any means possible!
Janet said on 03.26.09 at 08:17 PM • [link]
Rwor - You put THAT - THERE! You’re flipped your lid, Daddy-o.
Kimberly Van Meter said on 03.26.09 at 08:30 PM • [link]
RWOR:
I don’t usually date men old enough to be my father but since I have daddy issues, for you I’ll make an exception. Oh, and P.S. you can call me Kitty…and yes, I scratch!
Chris said on 03.26.09 at 08:33 PM • [link]
Rwor: She worried that her fingers would become stuck in his hair.
Rwor: Could she bear to kiss a man who used more hair products than she?
Cha cha cha: Damn, the slow songs always come on when one has an unseemly erection!
azteclady said on 03.26.09 at 09:25 PM • [link]
rwor: “Hello! I’m over here—look up and to your left. Your other left”
Cha-cha: “It shouldn’t be possible to break an inflatable doll’s neck…”
Maili said on 03.26.09 at 09:43 PM • [link]
rwor:
“Oh, come on! I want to know what they say about codpieces is true! Let me feel it!”
Marski said on 03.26.09 at 09:56 PM • [link]
Cha Cha Cha: While clandestinely applying shameless maxillary pressure to Betty’s temporal lobe, Bob was able to remove all thoughts she ever possessed about Rosie the Riveter and her not so known sister , the wayward, Frieda the Fluffer.
Rwor: First I’m gonna lick every ounce of Brill Cream from your hair. Second I’m gonna use that same warm probe to remove all your clothes. Third I’m gonna store you in my attic until I’m 60 at which point I’ll save thousands on Viagra! Mwahahaha!!
Suze said on 03.26.09 at 10:20 PM • [link]
RWOR: As he leaned in for what he thought was a kiss, her fangs began to emerge, and she smiled in anticipation of the sweet, sweet blood.
Cha Cha Cha: Damn you, Edward! I TOLD you that was superglue, not hair gel!
I vote for Sarah W’s Rwor! Awesome.
Angela said on 03.26.09 at 10:25 PM • [link]
Cha Cha Cha:
“Oh Darryl! If it wasn’t for the Valtrex we could never have danced this close!”
Carrie Lofty said on 03.26.09 at 10:33 PM • [link]
Rwor: By Ted’s disdainful sneer, Judy knew she was due for another punishing kiss.
Cha cha cha: Is it love, or is it qualudes?
Kathleen O'Reilly said on 03.26.09 at 10:50 PM • [link]
RWOR: “You must fall into the evil, come-hither, death ray of my eyes.”
Jessa Slade said on 03.26.09 at 10:58 PM • [link]
Will u plz Photo-Cha-Cha-Chop that lectrical outlet? Tnx
Rowr: Someday, this basic pose will adorn movie posters for Twilight and people will be squicked out by the power imbalance. But here in the 1950s… Er, no, still squicked out. You’ve come a long way, baby.
Kelly Williams said on 03.26.09 at 11:07 PM • [link]
Cha Cha Cha: “Oh darling, when you hold me like this, I can almost forget that you kidnapped and forced me into marriage!”
Tina C. said on 03.26.09 at 11:23 PM • [link]
Rowr!
“I’m not that kind of girl. No, darling, look at me. Now put your hand there. Now, as I was saying, I’m not that kind of…oh, forget it.”
Cha cha cha
It was much easier to get Margie to dance with him since he’d glued her ear to his shoulder. Sure, it made such things as driving more difficult, but that was a small price to pay.
Lotus said on 03.26.09 at 11:40 PM • [link]
Rowr!
“Jonny! What big shoulder pads you have!”
“All the better to tackle you with, my dear.”
Cha cha cha
“Dick smiled to himself as he realized that roofie had already kicked in…”
Aimee said on 03.26.09 at 11:50 PM • [link]
I don’t have a caption but I lean towards Rowr. There’s just something about the pose that leaves a come-hither feel to it that would fit in great with the whole romance theme.
rebyj said on 03.27.09 at 12:03 AM • [link]
Chacha “It’s not gay, it’s foreplay!”
I like Bev’s RWOR
“I’ve got my hand on your ass and I’m about to save your life!”
Sharon Buchbinder said on 03.27.09 at 12:18 AM • [link]
Rwor:
“Tommy! You know I’m not that kind of girl. My sister, on the other hand—or is she my mother? My sister? My mother? Ah crap, let’s do it!”
Cha-cha:
Robert knew his dream girl was running low on juice, but fortunately, he was able to drag her closer to the electrical outlet.
Theora_Jones said on 03.27.09 at 12:55 AM • [link]
Rowr: Hold your horses, buddy, I haven’t said “yes” yet.
Cha-Cha: Don’t even try to hold me close to your throbbing manhood, buster.
spam word is john87, and I’m pretty sure the guy in Rowr has looked that up in the Kama Sutra.
Trash Addict said on 03.27.09 at 01:14 AM • [link]
Rwor:
“Judy encounters her first prosthetic in 3… 2… 1…”
Cha-cha:
I don’t know if I can beat Sharon’s robot dream girl… but
“Paul, my darling… would you be a dear and fetch me a glass of punch? I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.”
Vienna Mars said on 03.27.09 at 01:15 AM • [link]
ROWR
“So, Woody—how DID you get that nickname?”
CHACHA
She’s thinking: “If I slouch, maybe he won’t notice how tall I am.”
He’s thinking: “This is the last time I date a girl with scoliosis.”
Theora_Jones said on 03.27.09 at 01:15 AM • [link]
Sorry for the double post, but that “cha-cha” picture is haunting me and I must now bring you:
Another Night at Almack’s: Desperation Boogaloo
nekobawt said on 03.27.09 at 01:23 AM • [link]
Rwor: “Miriam knew it was time to lay some ground rules when Bill the Zombie started to get a bit fresh.”
joanne said on 03.27.09 at 01:35 AM • [link]
Rwor!
After just one whiff of Kat’s intoxicating were-tabby pheromones, pack-Alpha Lionel was determined to barb this sex-kitten.
joanne said on 03.27.09 at 01:43 AM • [link]
Cha cha cha
“I’m not going to hump your leg, Ward, so stop trying to pull me closer! You’ll wake the Beaver!”
“That’s what I was hoping for, June!”
Kelc said on 03.27.09 at 02:10 AM • [link]
Rwor!
I love you, Susan. Please say you’ll run away with me…and my cousin Bart.
Cha cha cha!
I could stay like this forever…Oh, my neck.
Lucy Woodhull said on 03.27.09 at 02:48 AM • [link]
Cha Cha Cha:
Henry prayed he didn’t blow his big chance with Lady Narcolepsy.
Code: single69. Well, it’ll be one or the other for Henry!
Lucy Woodhull said on 03.27.09 at 02:51 AM • [link]
Rowr!
Blake… are you wearing a corset?
Jana J. Hanson said on 03.27.09 at 03:08 AM • [link]
Rowr:
“I’m sorry. Flaring nostrils are on my automatic FAIL list.”
KJsGrrl said on 03.27.09 at 03:39 AM • [link]
Rowr:
“You’re looking at me wondering to yourself, ‘Does she know that’s my throbbing hot rod of velvetted steel she’s feeling’... The answer is yes, I do.”
ashley said on 03.27.09 at 03:49 AM • [link]
rowr: Gerlak examined the man’s cavernous nasal passages, pleased with her find. he would make a good hunting dog back on Kerpood.
or
rwor: now Fred, you know I don’t like it up the ass, stop suggesting it.
cha cha cha: her: I love a man who’s sensitive. Him: I can’t wait to find out if the cubs won the pennant.
Lil' Deviant said on 03.27.09 at 04:10 AM • [link]
Rwor!: Sir you already bought me one hot dog for dinner. *purrrr*
Cha Cha Cha: I never thought IT could reach so far! Hubba Hubba.
c2 said on 03.27.09 at 04:48 AM • [link]
ROWR
“Your zipper is stuck? All you need is a candle…and I see you have one already.”
Code: where22 She already knows where.
Wryhag said on 03.27.09 at 05:36 AM • [link]
Rowr: “If that mildew on your jacket extends below your waist, Clarence, trust me, the sparklies in your nose hair will not offset it.”
Chacha: “You’re dancing with a star, bucko. Now shitcan the white socks.”
Silver James said on 03.27.09 at 05:46 AM • [link]
ROWR
“Hey, Buster, look me in the eye when you say that!”
Cha Cha Cha
Jane: I wish I was dancing with Captain Jack Harkness.
Dick: I wish I was dancing with Captain Jack Harkness.
Natalie Arloa said on 03.27.09 at 05:46 AM • [link]
ROWR: “Even though I haven’t done this before, I just know you’re the man to give me multiple orgasms the very first time. You are that kind of man, aren’t you?”
Samantha said on 03.27.09 at 06:49 AM • [link]
Chachacha.
Mary was mentally trying to figure how many more songs they would have to dance to before Tad’s Viagra finally kicked in…
kh said on 03.27.09 at 07:47 AM • [link]
oh is that nipple i see poking through your sweater
oh is that banana or u happy to see mee
eaeaea said on 03.27.09 at 12:29 PM • [link]
ROWR
Buddy, stop! Keep it above the waist… I’m not that kinda girl.
Chachacha
“You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out.
You put your left foot in, and wiggle it all about…”
Lyvvie said on 03.27.09 at 03:04 PM • [link]
Rowr - “Kissing cousins? I don’t understand, Jed…”
I love Lotus’ cha cha cha.
Liz said on 03.27.09 at 03:50 PM • [link]
cha cha cha: Ethel couldn’t figure out why she was so tired, but as she looked at Johnny, she was glad to see that the drug she had gotten from that guy on the street was already working on him! Johnny looked at Ethel’s head on his shoulder, and smirked, thinking that the rohyponol had already started working on her. Just then he started to feel a little loopy—and maybe a little gay! No, that’s how I always feel, said the little voice in his head.
Rowr: As Freddie leaned in to kiss Myrtle, she valliantly tried not to laugh at all the boogers tangled in his nose hair. That’s what happens when you decide to hump some old guy!
PK the Bookeemonster said on 03.27.09 at 04:25 PM • [link]
Cha cha cha:
He: I’m SO going to get laid tonight!
She: ... and I’ll wear satin with a big poufy skirt and carry pink roses ....
Rwor:
Have I ever told you I like tie-up games?
Sara Lindsey said on 03.27.09 at 07:46 PM • [link]
Cha cha cha:
When Brad got in one of his dancing moods, Mary could only sigh and wish she’d listened to her mother.
Rowr:
Enid kept the smile plastered on her face as she tried to make herself believe that size didn’t matter.
John wished with all his might that he, too, was a schoolgirl.
Cathy said on 03.27.09 at 08:06 PM • [link]
Rwor:
“Now, Mr. Tyson, remember what happened the last time you nibbled on my ear?”
Cha cha:
For the third time that week, Ralph practiced his moves with his mother’s manequin. He had taken her to dinner and a movie, now they were dancing, and if he was lucky he’d get to second base later that night!
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