Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Caption That Cover: Holiday Edition - The Winner!

by SB Sarah | December 29, 2009 | Tuesday at 1:02 am | 9 Comments

Time to announce the winner for our holiday Caption That Cover contest, which I started calling “Caption Underpants” about 3pm on Christmas Eve when I’d snorted tea up my nose about six times already. Damn, you are some funny people. What’s in your egg nog?

So, first, we have the Honorable Mention entries:

Shirin Dubbin for “If that’s holly I’d expect a lot more pricks.”

Warren for “Yeah Craig, I’m pretty sure it’s not deck your balls with boughs of holly.”

Maggie Robinson for “A Visit from St. Prickolas.”

Amanda for “Now there’s some berries that are safe to eat.”

Nadia for: “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

And of course, we had all the Carol Parodies you can… shake a stick at:

Anel Viz: “Wenceslas slipped down his pants. What a feast for Steven!”

Amy for :
God rest ye, merry gentlemen

As “merry” as can be

John Cryer in a zippered fleece

And that’s not Charlie Sheen

The decorations “hung” so nicely
 on a well-erected tree

Oh, tidings of boy-on-boy, boy-on-boy

Oh tidings of boy-on-boy

Tina C. for: “Jingle bell time is a swell time…”

Wendy for: “Do you see what I see?”

edieharris for: “Johnny knew that now was the time to make his Christmas wish…for Fa-la-la-la-la-la-latio.”

Brooks*belle for “Ding Dong Merrily on High.”

Aislinn Macnamara for “Deck the balls?”

Mala for the double-whammy of “Don we now our gay apparel” and “Talk about making the Yuletide gay.”

And an entry that made me snort tea up my nose for complete silliness:

Sharon Kendrick for “Mr. Beau Dangles.” Well played, Ms. Kendrick!

But the winner for this holiday Caption That Cover, and the recipient of a $50 US gift certificate to a bookstore of his or her choice, is:

Melissandre for the poetical ode:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and I was nonplussed,

Not a creature was stirring, including some lust!

My partner had dusted, decked halls, and gift wrapped;

Now all that he sought was a long winter’s nap.

But I wasn’t ready to go straight to bed,

But what could make “sugarplums” dance in his head?

Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear

But those Christmas briefs (got as a gag gift last year).

I entered the room, caught his eye, quirked a brow,

Then, holding some mistletoe, boldly dropped trou

There I stood before him, my pride on the shelf, 

And he laughed when he saw me, in spite of himself.

More rapid than eagles, he came to my side 

And said, “Here’s a present that’s too good to hide!”

But I heard him exclaim as the curtains were drawn,

“Take your Christmas briefs off, and then let’s get it on!”

Thanks for making the holiday brighter, the yuletide gayer, the balls jinglier, and the hilarity more hilarious. Happy New Year!