Bitchin' Blog Posts
Caption That Cover: Cliffhanger Edition
by SB Sarah | by SB Sarah | December 26, 2012 | Wednesday at 12:04 am | 73 CommentsLauren sent me this cover. I feel like I owe her a puppy or something. LOOK. It's got purple mountain's majesty and everything:
You know there is only ONE THING we can do with a cover that... pointed. Caption it! You've got 48 hours to caption that cover in the comments below. I'll pick the winner but you can try to sway my vote by liking the captions you enjoy most. The winner will receive a $25 giftcard to the bookstore of his or her choice.
I hope the winner buys books on moutain climbing.
Standard disclaimers apply: I'm not being compensated by this giveaway (except for the ab workout from laughing so hard). Void where prohibited. Must be over 18 years of age and wearing crampons. Open to international residents. No matter what anyone says, don't pull his finger or grab his rope. Swing low, sweet chariot.
Ready, set... CLIMB!
Filed: Caption This Cover, General Bitching
Tagged: wtfery, make the burning stop, caption that cover, boner, awesomesauce
Tina said on 12.26.12 at 02:04 AM • [link]
It was a land of magic and wonder. It was a land where giants roamed the earth - and occasionally had very public, outdoor sex. It was a land where family outings often led to awkward explanations to the children. Checkmate.
Fran S. said on 12.26.12 at 04:14 AM • [link]
Ben, a professional chess player, thought he’d made a romantic deal, the deal of a lifetime—his girlfriend Lisa’s old cow for magic beans! But after she dumped them (and him) unceremoniously in the backyard he could only hope for the best. Just before she checked out of his garden (and his life), a giant beanstalk arose from the hydrangeas. The former lovers gained entrance to a magical land filled with marvelous mountains, golden poultry, even—lusty giants?!!? Now they have to make their way through a maze of gargantuan, gyrating bodies to find the stalk, rekindling their love along the way. When they reach the ground once more will Ben be able to cry Checkmate….over her heart?
Anony Miss said on 12.26.12 at 04:50 AM • [link]
Mount Never-rest.
Maggie Robinson said on 12.26.12 at 08:18 AM • [link]
It was a bit disconcerting when the bondage elves exploded out of her thong, but Tristan soon took the hint and became a very happy camper.
Gail Leinweber said on 12.26.12 at 08:23 AM • [link]
He would climb mountains to win her, then go down to keep her.
Beccah W. said on 12.26.12 at 08:23 AM • [link]
He’d waited a lifetime to mount her Crested Butte. Now that the time was right, he found himself facing a new problem…granny panties!
Christina said on 12.26.12 at 08:29 AM • [link]
Going over the cliff: What does it mean?
Arloa said on 12.26.12 at 08:30 AM • [link]
She was so young and her breasts were so firm—those mountain climbing dreams he’d been having were ridiculous, but they really were the most spectacular mounds he’d anticipated cresting.
Sue (Mari) Laing said on 12.26.12 at 08:32 AM • [link]
To attain her Summit he must aim high…
now if only the Sherpas would stop suggesting gambits and pass him the crampons - he would take her to the heights
Sarah M. Anderson said on 12.26.12 at 08:33 AM • [link]
As it turned out, the unusual choice of knickers was the least of Ted’s worries.
cayenne said on 12.26.12 at 08:43 AM • [link]
Adventures in extreme Shibari…
Alyssa Cole said on 12.26.12 at 08:53 AM • [link]
She thought her guide’s request to explore pubis mons was a result of their language barrier, given their close proximity to the unfortunately named Mount Pubis, but Kristen quickly learned that she had agreed to an entirely unplanned for excursion.
Lori S said on 12.26.12 at 09:02 AM • [link]
If you climb it, it will come.
Vandy Jones said on 12.26.12 at 09:04 AM • [link]
Marianne was a dedicated climber until she met Tristan. He showed her a whole new sort of climbing and it was oh so good.
Ren said on 12.26.12 at 09:09 AM • [link]
Can’t caption. Too busy laughing that someone thought it was a good idea to place something rock hard and jutting in that particular orientation with “her” crotch.
Lyra Archer said on 12.26.12 at 09:11 AM • [link]
Climbing accidents happen. Thank goodness she’d been prepared! They could live off the supply of trail mix stashed in her navel until help arrived.
Aside: Come on, you just know he’s thinking “Sweet, found an M&M!”
Fullybooked said on 12.26.12 at 09:21 AM • [link]
Sebastion didn’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill but he had never needed so much protection before.
Rlane37 said on 12.26.12 at 10:01 AM • [link]
After months of dedicated seduction, max finally got her pants off only to find her rock hard member jutting from her groin. “Holy shit,” he thought. “She’s a transvestite! Now what do I do?”
KM said on 12.26.12 at 10:12 AM • [link]
Signs you may need to work on your tuck game, no. 263: the Borrowers use it for purchase
Jessiecalee91 said on 12.26.12 at 10:18 AM • [link]
This book is a screaming good read, thrilling and satisfying, or is it, with the mind numbing question “Does she reach the peak?!” being the only question tantalizing your inner thoughts ....the ultimate cliff hanger.
CHH said on 12.26.12 at 10:52 AM • [link]
Going over the frisky cliff . . .
TBH, at first glance I thought the climbers were pirates hanging off the bow of a ship.
Lady T said on 12.26.12 at 11:44 AM • [link]
Make room for the Lilliputians of Love!
Lostshadows said on 12.26.12 at 11:48 AM • [link]
If you loved The Crying Game and Cliffhanger, we have the perfect romance for you!
jenniferk66 said on 12.26.12 at 12:27 PM • [link]
Not an entry, but you KNOW the artiste thought the fact that the mountain climbers fit perfectly around the dude’s chest and Adam’s apple made it EPIC.
Carol said on 12.26.12 at 12:31 PM • [link]
Gulliver needed his privacy but the little people would not rest till their man came back.
Kasey said on 12.26.12 at 12:35 PM • [link]
The tiny elfish oncologists were the only ones qualified to treat her suspicious mole.
Deb G. said on 12.26.12 at 01:46 PM • [link]
What do you get for the outdoor enthusiast who has everything?
Sexy black panties? Check.
A Brazilian wax? Check.
A strap-on dildo with miniature rock climbers on it? Checkmate.
laj said on 12.26.12 at 02:21 PM • [link]
10 things you didn’t know about hermaphrodites. A hard rock love story for the ages.
Kirok_enterprises said on 12.26.12 at 02:34 PM • [link]
The missing chapters from Lord of The Rings - how Frodo and Sam really made it to Mount Doom.
StarOpal said on 12.26.12 at 02:43 PM • [link]
“Have you ever seen The Crying Game?” She whispered huskily.
Clbevill said on 12.26.12 at 03:26 PM • [link]
He loved her belly and her strange little friends, too.
Oaxacamama said on 12.26.12 at 04:02 PM • [link]
I took one look at this and kept thinking about that quote from Aldous Huxley.
“People will insist on treating the mons Veneris as though it were Mount Everest. Too silly!”
Nicawesomeole said on 12.26.12 at 04:20 PM • [link]
Baby, I’m going to take you to the top of a mountain and then I’m going to do something out of one of those 50 Shades of Grey books you’re always talking about.
O_Waite said on 12.26.12 at 04:50 PM • [link]
Although he was glad to find such a sturdy handhold, he had really been expecting more crevice work.
Barbiepomales said on 12.26.12 at 05:41 PM • [link]
There are things a man needs in nature: action soft body and love ...not in that order exactly
Aubrey Watt said on 12.26.12 at 05:49 PM • [link]
Unaware of climbing terminology, Jason couldn’t wait to get up to those sweet jugs that he had been promised…
Tin said on 12.26.12 at 05:57 PM • [link]
He climbed every mountain and forded every stream—now he’s following a rainbow. Will he find his dream?
(Apologies to The Sound of Music) ^_^
riwally said on 12.26.12 at 05:58 PM • [link]
Ain’t no mountain high enough. Ain’t no valley low enough. To keep me from doing you. Woo hoo hoo!!!
Anony Miss said on 12.26.12 at 06:12 PM • [link]
She’ll be coming ‘round the mountain when she comes…
Carrie Gwaltney said on 12.26.12 at 06:40 PM • [link]
And then he understood. Sam wasn’t short for “Samantha!”
Brycanthe said on 12.26.12 at 07:08 PM • [link]
I checked and “she”‘s a mate, mate!
JoyceG said on 12.26.12 at 07:35 PM • [link]
She later realized that she’d misinterpeted what “belay” really meant.
Melonie Johnson said on 12.26.12 at 07:36 PM • [link]
And with a final tap of the chisel, Mt. Holycock was circumcised.
Thunderhuffster said on 12.26.12 at 07:42 PM • [link]
Visa. It’s everywhere you want to be.
PamG said on 12.26.12 at 07:55 PM • [link]
Abelard was so engrossed in Tristan’s navel that he didn’t even notice the Nac Mac Feegle scaling the Hellespout, until he heard the faint cry of “Nae king! Nae quin! ... We willna be fooled again!”
PamG said on 12.26.12 at 08:00 PM • [link]
Me too.
CC said on 12.26.12 at 08:00 PM • [link]
A modern mash up of the classics… Rapunzel dared to defy the latest fads in personal grooming. Gulliver was drawn to the giantess who dwarfed even him. Could the townspeople of Lilliput work their magic to bring these two larger than life lovers together?
Sabine said on 12.26.12 at 08:20 PM • [link]
Climbing Mountain, Kissing Belly - enjoy the highs and the lows!
sabbyATL said on 12.26.12 at 09:04 PM • [link]
I am so sorry but what in the sorry Sam Hill am I looking at???
Is that a she he’s kissing and is it facing him? Looks kinda like it has it’s top half on backwards.
And he’s got a nip way high up on his right pec, like way to high in an unnatural place, about to do business as a footrest.
Oh, god, my brain hurts.
gail b said on 12.26.12 at 10:47 PM • [link]
Ever since the collapse of The Old Man of the Mountain, the New Hampshire Department of Tourism has been wracking their brains on how to bring back rock-climbing tourism dollars to the state.
Behold “The Young Nubile Couple of the Mountain”
Live Free or….. (sigh)
Sarah Y said on 12.26.12 at 10:55 PM • [link]
Brokeback Mountain unveiled: what those cowboys really had on under their gear!
Jester said on 12.26.12 at 11:30 PM • [link]
He saw, she came , they conquered.
Joanna S. said on 12.26.12 at 11:40 PM • [link]
As Devon blew a raspberry on her navel, he was surprised to learn just what Victoria’s secret was…
Shanley73 said on 12.27.12 at 12:50 AM • [link]
I think I can… I think I can….. I can definitely climb HER mountain, All I have to do is start at the bottom and work my way up !!
Jodi said on 12.27.12 at 01:34 AM • [link]
He thought he was lucky that her breasts were small and humble, so he didn’t confuse them with mountains. But things were more complicated than he realised…
megsan said on 12.27.12 at 04:16 AM • [link]
Never had she imagined that such a seemingly simple guesture - a kiss on her back - would induce such an intense bodily response. Forget seeing stars - it was as if mountains moved through her while rockclimbers scaled her innermost sacred depths
Maureen said on 12.27.12 at 07:26 AM • [link]
Hey, you two over there, a little help please!
Mara Gillott said on 12.27.12 at 10:05 AM • [link]
Hey! Tickle his Adam’s apple!
Yaara said on 12.27.12 at 10:31 AM • [link]
Better check your mate, mate.
Jenney Gee-Isaacs said on 12.27.12 at 11:05 AM • [link]
While climbing the mountains and helping her over the cliff, he realized she left him hanging. Well played woman. Well played. Checkmate.
Climaxine said on 12.27.12 at 12:39 PM • [link]
When their attempts to climax the mountain ended in disaster, they kept warm the only way thu knew how.
Claudia said on 12.27.12 at 12:58 PM • [link]
Hey guys could you move you are between me and her pants!!
JoanneF said on 12.27.12 at 01:03 PM • [link]
Alpina Crampon had almost lost hope of finding a cure for the strange parasitic growth on her hip when she walked into the Swiss clinic run by handsome Doctor Heal Maladies.
“I’ve read a lot of research involving your groundbreaking kiss-a-boo-boo therapy, Doctor Maladies,” Alpina whispered breathlessly. “You’re my last hope.”
“If you’ll strip down to your cincher, Ms. Crampon, we’ll get started with your therapy immediately,” Heal said in his low, gravelly voice. “Just give me a minute to prepare the medication.”
While Alpina slowly removed her clothing, Heal opened the 13-Flavor Variety-Pak of ChapStick and carefully arranged the potent medicines on a tray. He knew this would be his most challenging case yet; and his most pleasurable……………………..
MrsFBomb said on 12.27.12 at 01:31 PM • [link]
To reach the heavens- you must go down.
susanblexrud said on 12.27.12 at 03:21 PM • [link]
Just let me scale this boob, and then…oh, wait…there’s another one up ahead.
Jo Owen said on 12.27.12 at 06:48 PM • [link]
Until that moment he thought boy shorts were just a type of underwear…
cleo said on 12.27.12 at 07:31 PM • [link]
Laughing too hard to come up with an entry. I saw this cover at ARe the other day (maybe it was one of the freebies?) - so glad Lauren was smart enough to send it in. I just thought WTF? and carried on with my Christmas shopping.
Sookie900 said on 12.27.12 at 10:27 PM • [link]
Is that a clif in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Amanda said on 12.28.12 at 12:15 AM • [link]
Unleash the underpants gnomes!
Anna Richland said on 12.28.12 at 01:22 AM • [link]
Apologies to Sarge and the Green Army Men, but I immediately thought:
“A good soldier never leaves a man behind.”
Kristi said on 12.28.12 at 02:01 PM • [link]
Mounting Merkin
Aarann said on 12.28.12 at 02:12 PM • [link]
“Ho-ly crap, Fred! Are… Are we standing on a giant hermaphrodite’s erection? This is the last time I do acid while mountain climbing with you.”
Elizabeth Gunther said on 12.30.12 at 10:02 PM • [link]
so did i!
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